Learning to Breathe

by J. C. McClean

  I sighed and willed myself to continue. I had to get this out – once and for all.

  “The day I poured out my heart to you was the day that you destroyed the wall completely. After that, I realised that I liked you – really liked you. I tried to deny it – believe me! But the more time I spent with you, the harder it became to lie to myself. It wasn’t until my mother told me how much I had changed since I met you that I realised something surprising. I don’t like you Danny Fletcher … I love you.”

  “I believe, Ms Gilmore, that you’ve finally found the right words.”

  The adorable crooked grin on Danny’s face, at that very moment, was something I would never forget. It was a look of pure elation and I knew, in my heart of hearts, that I felt the same.

  Who knew I had it in me to tell him exactly how I felt!

  Danny embraced me and swung me around, laughing his head off at my squeals of protestation.

  “Be careful!” I warned. “Those tiles are really slippery!”

  Danny chuckled, stared straight into my eyes, and then pulled me into the pool with him.

  I slapped at the water and tried my best to look mad.

  “Aw, come on Gilmore, don’t be such a girl!” he yelled as he swam over to me.

  As soon as he was near, I splashed him and started laughing at the look of shock on his face.

  “Ha ha! Gotcha!” I teased as I made a quick getaway before he could plot his revenge.

  I hauled myself out of the pool and heard Danny do the same. I glanced back and stuck my tongue out at him.

  He narrowed his eyes. “I’ll get you back Gilmore! Just you wait and see.”

  And with a smirk, he disappeared off into the changing rooms.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  “Oh my God!” squealed Harriet, when I told what had happened with Danny. It was after eight o’clock and we were both sitting in her kitchen having a catch-up. I hadn’t seen her all day so, I had decided to tell her in person. However, judging by her insane overreaction, I was seriously beginning to regret telling her at all.

  I rolled my eyes. “Calm down, will you?”

  She shook her head vigorously. “No way! Didn’t I tell you that you liked Danny? Didn’t I?”

  “There’s no need to gloat Harriet!” I told her with a frown.

  “Pah!” she protested loudly. “I knew this would happen eventually.”

  A small smile crept onto my face and I reluctantly let out a tiny chuckle. “You’re a psychic now, are you?”

  She grinned at me. “You bet! Oh, I’m just so happy for you! I can’t wait to tell Samuel.”

  “Yeah, well it’s early days but, for the first time in a long time, I’m really happy.” I admitted.

  Harriet beamed at me. “I know. I can see it on your face! So, what’s your mum think about it all?”

  I sighed. “She’s ridiculously happy about it. I mean she even did this little happy dance and everything!”

  Harriet giggled. “But it’s big news! Why’d it take you so long, huh?”

  I shrugged. “I guess I’m a little cautious when it comes to guys.”

  “But why?” Harriet enquired curiously.

  “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you some other time, I promise.” I told her patiently. I really didn’t want to get into the whole deal about my father right now.

  Harriet nodded, looking pacified and said, “Okay, some other time then. Now, how’s it going with the competition and all? It kicks off on Monday, doesn’t it?”

  I nodded. “Yeah and I’m terrified. I know I’ve done all I can do but still – with only two days left until the first heat – I’m starting to freak out a bit!”

  Harriet smiled. “Hey, you’ll be fine. Everyone’s behind you and no matter what happens, I know I’ll still love you – not as much as Danny though!” she added with a wink.

  I laughed at that. “Okay, enough already! Right, I’d better get going. Danny wants to squeeze in a few extra hours of training tomorrow so I’ve an early start.” I explained while Harriet nodded.

  “Sure,” she said with a small smirk on her face. “And he wants to spend more time making out with you.”

  “Harriet!” I exclaimed loudly. “This is serious stuff, I’ll have you know. We will not being ‘making out’ at all, we will be training!”

  “Yeah yeah.” She grinned slyly. “If you can manage to stay away from each other.”

  I shook my head in exasperation and stood up. “That’s it! I’m going before my mind is polluted anymore. And you – you get yours out of the gutter!” I scolded.

  Harriet let out a hearty laugh and ushered me out of the house. “Okay Darcie, good luck tomorrow. See you at the competition on Monday.”

  I nodded and headed next door. Thankfully, my mother was out with William so I was able to go straight to bed without a fuss.

  The next morning, my alarm woke me up far too early. I knew that it was for my own good since I needed to train but I had a hard time convincing myself of this fact when my body was pleading with me to have a lie-in.

  Reluctantly, I pushed back the covers and slowly sat up. It was now two days until the competition and I was feeling a bit hesitant. Was I really doing the right thing? Would I even stand a chance?

  Shrugging off those negative thoughts, I quickly changed and packed my swim kit before heading to meet Danny at the leisure centre.

  I arrived at the pool just before 7.30am. Again, I had been amazed at how Danny had managed to wangle this. The pool didn’t open officially for another two hours but somehow Danny had convinced Mr Deacon to open up early for us.

  I found Danny waiting for me, already changed into his swimming shorts.

  “Morning Gilmore.” He grinned crookedly. “You awake yet?”

  I shook my head. “No! So you’d better have something upbeat to play to give me a boost.”

  He chuckled and started to set up the iPod dock while I quickly changed into my swimsuit.

  Ten minutes later and I walked back into the pool to find Danny swimming a few laps to warm up. Once he noticed me, he got out of the pool and bounded over to give me a kiss.

  “Right,” he began. “What do you want to go over today? Everything? Or is there anything in particular you want to work on?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t mind – probably everything. The nerves are starting to kick in.” I added reluctantly.

  Danny smiled. “Hey, you’ll be fine. I’m your coach, remember?”

  “Cocky as always Mr Fletcher.” I noted with a small smirk.

  Danny chuckled. “Damn straight! Now, get your butt into the pool and let’s get started.”

  I nodded and did a few warm-up exercises before climbing into the pool. Danny made his way over to the iPod dock and grinned at me before hitting ‘play’. Massive Attack’s ‘Teardrop’ gently came to life while I threw Danny a questioning look.

  “Do you want me to fall asleep?”

  He smirked. “No, I just thought I’d ease you in gently.”

  I shook my head and laughed. “Thanks but no. I need some life injected into me!”

  Danny chuckled and turned back to the docking station. A few seconds later and ‘Higher’ by Creed blared out from the speakers.

  “Better?” he yelled.

  I nodded. “Much better.”

  We left the pool just after 12.30pm and headed straight for the first café we came across. We were both starving so Danny demanded that we go for lunch right away. I agreed and suggested we go to a little café called ‘The Beanery’ since it seemed to be the only one that wasn’t busy.

  After ordering our food, we both sat down on the comfy chairs, taking a well deserved rest. I had pushed myself quite ferociously but I was feeling more relaxed about Monday now. Danny had exhausted himself too but he was pleased with our session and was confident that we both would be ready for anything.

  “So,” Danny began. “Any plans for tonight?”

  I shrugged. “I dunno. Did yo
u have something in mind?”

  “Well, I’d like to take you out on our official first date!” He declared while throwing me his trademark lopsided grin.

  I smirked. “Oh yeah? And what exactly does this first date entail?”

  Danny grinned. “Wouldn’t you like to know! It’s a surprise. All you need to know is that I’ll be picking you up at seven-thirty, don’t eat dinner, and dress casually.”

  I threw him a curious look but nodded nonetheless. “Okay … vague but intriguing.”

  “Hey, you gotta keep the mystery alive!” Danny chuckled.

  I shook my head but gave him a small smile before tucking into my rather large bagel.

  After lunch, Danny dropped me off home, as he had to take swimming lessons at the pool from two o’clock until five. I didn’t mind as it meant that I had time to go shopping for a new outfit.

  Once I was in the house, I found my mother leisurely reading the paper in the kitchen.

  “Mum, I need your help.” I admitted abruptly.

  She looked up at me, alarmed. “Are you okay?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, it’s just that Danny’s taking me on our first date tonight and I need something to wear.”

  My mother grinned broadly. “Well, let’s get shopping then.”

  We arrived in town ten minutes later and hit one of the little boutiques first. I wasn’t sure what exactly constituted as ‘casual’ but I figured that it wouldn’t hurt to dress up a little.

  My mother was busy rifling through the racks and grabbing various tops and shirts for me to try on. I looked through the jeans rack and spotted a pair of dark navy, high-waisted denim jeans. I lifted those and a pair of purple skinny jeans and made my way over to my mother.

  “Jeez Mum, am I gonna have to try on the whole shop?” I declared when I noticed how many hangers she was holding.

  She let out a small chuckle. “Hey, it’s your first date, it’s important to look nice.”

  I rolled my eyes and made my way to the changing rooms. It felt like I was in there for hours but in reality, I was only in twenty minutes. In the end, it was quite easy for me to make my choice. The high-waisted jeans won in the end and I paired them with a floaty vest with a butterfly print.

  So, happy with my purchases, my mother and I decided to go to for a quick coffee before heading home.

  “So,” my mother began, after taking a sip of her cappuccino. “Where’s Danny taking you on this big date?”

  I shrugged. “He wouldn’t tell me.”

  My mother grinned. “Are you excited?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I think so …” I trailed off, suddenly feeling unsure.

  I watched my mother frown. “What is it Darcie?”

  “I dunno. It all just seems too good to be true.” I admitted.

  “What do you mean?”

  I hesitated, unsure of whether I should continue. Eventually, I took a deep breath and said, “All of it. Finally accepting Dad’s death, the competition, Danny … I just don’t think I deserve to be happy.”

  My mother shook her head and grasped my hand in hers. “You listen here Darcie Gilmore, you deserve to be happy. Why on earth would you think that you don’t?”

  I glanced down at the tabletop, unsure of how to answer.

  Why were these thoughts hitting me now?

  “Darcie, look at me.”

  I reluctantly pulled my gaze up from the table and looked at my mother.

  She sighed heavily. “I think I know what this is about. You’re scared that moving on means you’re going to forget him, aren’t you?”

  I hesitated for a second and then eventually nodded. “Yeah, I guess.”

  My mother shook her head. “That’ll never happen. You’ll always remember your Dad and you shouldn’t let those worries stand in the way of your happiness.”

  I nodded. “I know but I feel guilty about finally being happy again.”

  “Well don’t!” my mother cried. “Your father would be pleased to see you smile again! I know I am.”

  “Yeah, I know. But I really like Danny.” I emphasised.

  “I know. So what’s the problem?” my mother enquired, looking slightly puzzled.

  I shrugged. “I dunno. What if something goes wrong? I don’t know if I could handle it.”

  My mother shook her head wearily. “Nothing’s going to go wrong – I see the way that boy looks at you. Trust me, you don’t need to worry.”

  I nodded and remained silent.

  Yeah, but I am worried. What if I’m the reason it all goes wrong?

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Danny came for me at seven-thirty, as promised. I tried to push my earlier doubts to the back of my mind but every now and again, I found one worming its way back in. Shrugging off the negative thoughts, I tried to focus on the present, what was happening right now … and that was my date with Danny.

  “You look beautiful Gilmore.” Danny grinned as I got into the car.

  “Do you always call your date by their surname?” I enquired with a smirk.

  Danny shook his head. “Nah, only my girlfriend. Think of it as a term of endearment.”

  He winked at me and I let out a laugh.

  “Okay then Fletcher. Where are we going?” I asked, deliberately putting heavy emphasis on the use of his surname.

  He smirked. “You’ll see Gilmore. You’ll see.”

  I shook my head but gave him a small smile. Danny returned it with that adorable grin of his and then started the car.

  It took me about five minutes to realise that we were heading in the direction of the spring. I threw Danny a curious look but he merely smiled and remained silent.

  When he parked the car, Danny opened my door for me and then opened the boot of his car. A few seconds later and he was armed with a picnic basket and a blanket.

  “A picnic?” I said, quite impressed with this idea.

  Danny nodded. “Oh, this is only the beginning. There is more to come.”

  I nodded slowly, curious at what else he had planned but I didn’t ask. Instead, I looped my arm through his and we set off towards the bank. I watched Danny throw down the blanket and then set up the picnic.

  There turned out to be a lot of food in the basket: chicken salad, a crunchy baguette, pasta salad, potato salad, breadsticks and dips. And it didn’t stop there. No, there were strawberries, apples, grapes, chocolate mousses and finally, homemade lemonade to drink.

  I stared in amazement at the spread of food before me. It was then that I glanced at Danny suspiciously.

  “Impressive.” I commented. “Did you do this all yourself?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

  Danny shook his head and looked guilty. “No. I admit it, okay? I told my mum about the idea and she helped me out a little.”

  I raised an eyebrow, sceptical at his reply.

  Danny grinned sheepishly. “Okay, she helped a lot.”

  “That’s more like it.” I told him with a small smirk.

  He laughed. “Well, I get some credit for coming up with the idea, don’t I?”

  I laughed. “I guess you do.”

  Danny smiled and then leaned over to give me a kiss. As soon as our lips met, any of my earlier doubts that were still lingering about, instantly vanished.

  We ate the picnic leisurely, talking about different things, and generally just relaxing. When we finished eating, we just lay on the blanket, looking at the sky in silence.

  However, Danny broke the sleepy silence when he announced that we would have to go soon.

  “Part two will be commencing in half an hour.” he told me while he packed up the remaining food. “So, we’ll have to get going.”

  I nodded and then helped him to pack up before we headed back to the car.

  “So, what’s part two?” I asked as Danny drove us into town.

  He tapped his nose and remained silent as we pulled into the local theatre’s car park.

  I glanced at him, intrigued. “The Theatre?”


  With a sly smile, he nodded and then got out of the car. He opened my door and held onto my hand as we made our way through the double doors.

  Danny handed over two tickets and we then made our way into the auditorium. Once we settled into our seats, I turned to him.

  “What play is it?” I asked curiously.

  He threw me a killer grin. “Watch and you’ll see.”

  Ten minutes later, and the opening scene began. It was my favourite play – Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo and Juliet’.

  Two hours later and ‘the star-crossed lovers’ had taken their lives. I turned in my seat to face Danny.

  “How’d you know?”

  Danny frowned. “Know what?”

  “That this was my favourite play.” I explained.

  He smiled. “You told me one day in passing. I remembered.”

  I was impressed at this and grinned at him. “Thanks.” I said.

  “For what?”

  “For doing all of this. I’ve had a great time.”

  Danny grinned. “Well it’s not over yet.”

  I frowned. “There’s more?”

  He nodded but didn’t elaborate. Instead, he took my hand and we left the auditorium.

  A short drive later and Danny parked outside a little café called ‘Sweet Treats’ and ushered me inside.

  “This is part three – the last part of our date. This place does the best desserts!” he explained excitedly as we sat at one of the empty tables.

  A waitress came over, gave us some menus, took an order for our drinks and then left us to decide what dessert to get.

  “So, what’s good here?” I asked, quite amused at how Danny flipped through the menu enthusiastically.

  He grinned at me. “Everything! Just close your eyes and point randomly to something.”

  I smiled, closed my eyes, and dragged my finger down the page. When I opened them, my finger had landed on the ‘Death by Chocolate Cake’.

  Danny laughed. “Good choice. I think I’ll get the ‘Deluxe Hot Fudge Sundae’ – you’ve gotta try it!”

  I laughed and took a sip of the hot chocolate that the waitress had just set down. She then took our order, citing that we had made ‘awesome’ choices and then left again.