Revolution in the Underground

by Michaels, S. J.

  “Maybe it’s because you want me to take you in? Maybe it’s because you subconsciously feel the way I do,” he suggested.

  “Ember, it’s not normal. This isn’t normal. Hardly any one else in all of Erosa ever cries. People don’t have the need for it.”

  “But we do,” he suggested again.

  Maggie’s vulnerability subconsciously motivated her to attack him verbally. “Ember, have you ever stopped to consider how much of a burden it is to always hang around you? I’m bothered by your unhappiness not only because I care about you, but also because I care about myself. The way you handle yourself, you know, it kinda ruins it for the rest of us? I mean, how selfish? Have you ever stopped to consider how you affect the people around you? Have you ever thought about me? What I thought?! How I feel seeing my brother depressed?! Well, have you?”

  Her questions were clearly rhetorical. Though he knew she wasn’t interested in his answer—or more accurately put, though he knew she would continue the same rant regardless of how he answered—he knew that he had to say something. “Of course I thought about you.”

  “Have you? I don’t think you have. You just go on acting and feeling however you want to act and feel, completely unaware that it affects the people that care for you the most.”

  “How can I not feel how I feel… it’s who I am,” he interrupted mistakenly.

  “But it’s not only you Ember! It’s not only your feelings! I share in your pain and I share in your happiness, can’t you see that?”

  “Sure, but I can’t help that.” It was now a torrential downpour, but neither of them had any desire to leave—Maggie because she felt good getting something off her chest and Ember because he found that the rain granted a good deal of legitimacy to his dramatic feelings.

  “Sure you can! I do it all the time!”

  “See, I told you!”

  “What?!”

  “You just said it! You just essentially admitted that you are pretending to be something you’re not!” Ember smiled as if he had caught her in a trap. Maggie was understandably annoyed by his smirk.

  “If you pretend you’re happy then you’ll become happy. If you act depressed then you’ll be depressed. You have to choose how you want to live your life.”

  “Well, I don’t want to live my life pretending.”

  “But it’s not just for you Ember? I feel like you’re not listening to what I have to say.”

  “Tell me then! Tell me what you have to say!” The rain made it hard to see whether or not she was crying, but he suspected that she might be. He sensed that a culminating blow was coming.

  “After you do it for a while, it stops being pretend. I’m not pretending. It’s not pretend. It’s real Ember. It’s real… but you can’t see that because you never try! And you won’t try because you don’t want to be happy. I hang out with you because I feel like I have to. You know, because you’re my brother and all. Do you know how difficult it is to leave all of my happy friends and go spend time with my depressed brother?”

  “Come on, I’m not that bad. You make it out like I’m walking around with my head hung down.”

  “But you do Ember. You are that bad. You are, Ember! You just don’t see it! Everyone else is happy all the time. Why do you have to ruin it for everyone? Why can’t you let us live in our happy little world? Why do you need to be like this? You can be happy like us too?”

  “What, like you? And you’re happy?”

  “Happier than you Ember!” She did not sniffle, but Ember was now certain that these words came with tears.

  “And live in your collective fantasy? Huh?!”

  “You just want to stomp out the last bit of free-thinking that is left in this darn place! You just want us to all be the same! Everyone’s little idyllic fantasy won’t be complete until everyone is a part of it? Is that it? Without me none of you would even know that you are happy because you would have nothing to compare it too. You should all be grateful.” Now it was Ember’s turn to feel indignant.

  “Don’t flatter yourself! No one is looking at you. Hardly any one pays a parting glance. The mighty Ember sacrificing himself so everyone else can be happy? Are you even listening to yourself?!”

  “You know what? I’m not going to pretend. It’s not what Mom and Dad would’ve wanted!”

  “Leave Mom and Dad out of this! That’s not fair and you know it!” For a second Maggie considered hitting Ember. They had not fought physically for a very long time and ultimately she decided that now was not a good time to start again.

  “You know it’s true!”

  “Ember I don’t like being with you! I wish you weren’t my brother!”

  Of all the hurtful things they had said to each other throughout the fight, for some reason these words rang the loudest and stung the deepest. Ember sat down on the pile of trash and Maggie came to join him. The two of them sat quietly, looking at the rain as it fell and thinking about how they might begin the inevitable reconciliation process. Ember thought about how her reaction was so obviously a defense mechanism, but intelligently elected not to mention the thought lest he wanted to continue the fight.

  Believing that her attacks had cut the deepest, she spoke first. “That’s not true. I’m glad you’re my brother and I like spending time with you.”

  “I know,” he said automatically going through the motions. “Mom and Dad would’ve been proud of you too.”

  “It’s just sometimes I wish that you were a little different,” she said tenuously, cognizant of how easy it would be to relapse into an argument.

  “And sometimes I wish you were a little more honest with who you are,” Ember added feeling that it was only fair for him to respond in kind.

  Maggie nodded. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.” While the two hugged Ember whispered into her ear, “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  “I don’t know what I would do without you either, Ember,” she whispered back.

  They let go of each other and sat motionless for a few minutes longer—in part to appreciate the falling the rain, and in part to ponder whether or not there was something more left to say. As they got up to leave Maggie kicked at the plastic sheet once more, and to her surprise it slid down.

  “Ember!” she shrieked instantly!

  “What?!” he cried, whipping his head around to see what she was looking at.

  “The rain… look what it uncovered!”

  Ember looked at the heap of mud and trash but couldn’t see much through the rain. Maggie fell to her knees and started scooping up the mud and trash and throwing it aside like a girl on a mission. Ember joined her.

  “What is it?!” he cried with uncontainable excitement.

  “It looks… It looks like…” She was so anxious that she couldn’t even finish her thoughts. She dug faster.

  “What? What does it look like?!” He paused for a moment to look at her face.

  “Dig! Dig!” she commanded.

  Finally, after a minute of digging Ember saw a thin plastic bilayer, blackened by the mud and dirt, but translucent at the edges. Maggie pulled at it gently along its length, trying hard not to rip it.

  “I… I… don’t believe it!” Ember said as she removed it from the trash heap. Maggie’s jaw was wide open. They stared at each other disbelievingly.

  It was a sealable plastic storage bag, but that’s not what they cared about. What they cared about was what they saw inside of it. Through the grimy translucent plastic was, unmistakably, a letter. A genuine letter from the past.

  “But… but… how could you… how did you see that through the mud and rain?” Ember asked, understandably suspicious.

  “I don’t know!” she said laughing with excitement. “I don’t know! I got lucky I guess.” The two of them paused to consider how fortunate they were and how easy it would’ve been to miss it altogether. She wiped off the dirt from the surface of the bag.

  “Careful! don’t rip it!” He cautione
d.

  “I won’t… I won’t rip…” her words trailed off as the newly cleared surface revealed, even more unequivocally than before, that it was indeed a letter that lay protected between the plastic sheets.

  Maggie and Ember looked at each other again in utter amazement, and hugged each other.

  “We can’t open it hear,” Maggie said, stating the obvious.

  “Your room?” he suggested excitedly.

  “Yes, but we can’t let anybody else see.”

  Ember nodded. They were in complete agreement. Ember and Maggie ran all the way back to Erosa, slipping and sliding in the mud at random intervals, too excited to be afraid and too anxious to care.

  Chapter 4: A Night to Remember

  Maggie and Ember were out of breath when they entered her hut. Though their faces were worn, they bore the distinctive mark of irrepressible exhilaration. Ember tried, unsuccessfully at first, to remove his saturated and muddy shirt. It stuck uncomfortably against his skin. Maggie held the note hard against her chest, her two arms crossing each other as if the note needed protecting. During one of her falls on the way back, she had scratched herself under her right eye and though the dried blood was hardly noticeable against her dirtied face, the pain was surprisingly present. With each beat of her heart, the sting would resonate up to her temple and down the back of her head. She began subconsciously blinking more frequently as a way to cope with the annoying throb.

  Ember threw his wet, heavy shirt on the floor, which made a resounding and satisfying plop. Maggie looked at Ember enviously. “Face the other way and close your eyes,” she demanded. With her arms still crossed around the note, she pointed delicately to the corner of her room. Ember gave a weak protest before ultimately obeying. Maggie jettisoned her muddied clothing by her dresser and wrapped herself tightly with a cover and sat on her bed.

  “Okay, you can look now.” Ember turned around and looked at his sister. “Read it to me,” she ordered, using her eyes to insinuate the note’s location.

  Ember grabbed the note from the top of the dresser and joined his sister on the bed, sitting upright. He wiped his hands against his pants and tried to dry them against his sister’s blanket, but she moved away before he had the chance. Ember unzipped the plastic seal and carefully parted the two plastic sheets. He pinched the parchment with his index finger and thumb. The paper was thin and surprisingly coarse. He looked up at his sister as if the mere touching of this historical artifact was enough to transport him to a distant time. “I want to feel it,” Maggie voiced in almost a begging and helpless tone. He brought it close to her, further opening the plastic seal to make it easier for her to touch. A single finger popped out of the safety of the covers. She stroked and caressed the note with her index finger, not sure exactly what to make of it.

  Suddenly an upside down face appeared through a hole in the ceiling. It was an opening that connected Maggie’s hut with that of the overlying one—such designs were common in Erosa, particularly in the girls’ clusters. Maggie and Ember jolted backwards. Ember impulsively drew the note close to him as if he were guarding a critical secret. “What ch’you all up to?” the upside-down face from above called down.

  “Nothing.”

  “Go away.”

  The upside-down face frowned—though it appeared more as a smile—and looked in the direction of Ember’s voice. Recognizing it as foreign, the upside-down face addressed it, “Hey, who’s this guy?”

  “Go away!” Maggie insisted forcefully.

  “Oh, Ember! It’s you!” the upside-down face continued with an unbearably slow and enthused tempo—one that strongly suggested that it wanted to hang out, make small talk, and maybe come down for some snacks.

  “Oh, hi Jade,” Ember managed to say politely. Now that he was addressed by name, he felt pressured to act respectfully.

  “What ch’you all up to?” Jade asked again, in case they didn’t hear her the first time.

  “Go away Jade!” Maggie said again.

  “Oh, Ember?! By the way… How did your Evaluation go?”

  The Evaluation seemed so long ago that he hardly remembered it, and so unimportant now that he didn’t care to. “Oh… I’ll tell you tomorrow,” he said, still trying to be polite.

  The upside-down face seemed to be dissatisfied. “Hey… What’s going on here? I’m sensing that I’m not wanted.”

  “What gives you that idea?” Maggie said viciously and sarcastically. She was actually very good friends with Jade, but knew that unless she made her feelings abundantly clear, she wouldn’t go away.

  “What’s going on? Is everything alright?” Jade asked, feeling that she had a right to be concerned for her friend.

  “Please, Jade. Go away. I’ll tell you everything tomorrow,” Maggie said, trying a new tactic. She gave Jade a look that only a girl can give another—the type of look that explained that something really important was happening now and promised to tell, in excruciating details, everything the following day, including an explanation as to why the information couldn’t be shared earlier. Jade paused for a moment as the words bounced around her head. She smiled and winked at Maggie, before leaving.

  “So easily manipulated,” Maggie mumbled cynically.

  “So you’re not going to tell her?” he whispered.

  “You kidding me? It’s Jade. I’ll make something else up. The truth probably wouldn’t interest her anyway.”

  Ember nodded. “Do you think she’s going to listen in?”

  Maggie thought for a little bit. “I don’t think she knows that’s possible… and besides, it wouldn’t be in her nature.”

  “You think we should wait just in case?” Ember asked, still whispering.

  Maggie thought again before answering. “No.” Ember uncovered the plastic from his arms and pulled out the note suspiciously. “Go already!” she insisted.

  He looked down at the note. It was handwritten with a blue pen. “It’s in cursive,” he reported.

  “So? Can’t you read cursive?”

  “Yes… but… no one has wrote in cursive for a long time.”

  “Just read it!” Maggie didn’t seem to appreciate the comment.

  Ember cleared his throat. “Dear Unknown Future.” Ember paused to consider the significance of the address.

  “It’s not a note, it’s a letter!” Maggie exclaimed.

  “…and it’s made out to us… well… sort of…”

  “She probably wrote this never knowing whether or not someone would read it! Oh, read on Ember!”

  “My name is Abigail Williams and I am from the past.” Ember looked back at his sister before continuing. “I had originally planned to write about my life’s story. I had originally hoped that my memory, and that of my family’s, would endure through this message. I know now, however, that I have a more important task—I need to remind you of what the past was like. I don’t know what the future will be like… I won’t ever know. I don’t even know if there will be a future… I want you, whoever and whatever you are, to know that it wasn’t always like this… there used to be lots of us. We used to play in the sands of the beaches, ski on the slopes of the mountains and love each other in the warmth of our homes. Our cities bustled, our minds grew, and our hearts beat proudly. I want you to know, that as I write this message, I am crying.” Ember looked up sharply at his sister. She had a grave look on her face and water was pooling in her eyes.

  “I am crying for all the love that will be lost. The billions of souls that will never again walk this Earth. Who will remember their stories? How can I possibly do justice for them? I want to write for them all but I fear I don’t have the talent to do it properly. Every word that I write seems to die as soon as it falls on the paper. I fear nothing that I will say will come out right. Pretend, whomever you are… pretend that I wrote something so powerful and so emotional that it took your breath away. Pretend that I wrote so powerfully that I seemed to give a voice to the billions. Pretend that I renewed your love for li
fe and inspired you all to build a new world—a world so great that no one would ever know suffering. I am sorry I could not do any better than this. I am sorry if this comes across all disjointed and repetitive. I do not have the words to explain my feelings.”

  “You are doing just fine,” Maggie whispered as if she were talking to Abigail directly.

  Ember nodded. “There’s one more thing on the back,” he said.

  “Read it.”

  “I just want to know why. I want to know what happened. Maybe you know? How strange this is… you in the future… me in the past. I wish I could travel to your time and meet you. Perhaps if you ever learn to time travel, you can come back and rescue me or prevent whatever it is that caused all of this to happen. I am almost accepting of what is to come. My parents and older sister died last week. All that is left for me is my younger brother. There is little hope for us. Tomorrow we will look for one of the sanctuaries. It is rumored that the government had built some just in case… but I don’t know where to look and I don’t know if I believe it. I’m scared. I know this is really strange… I know I don’t even know you… but I love you.”

  “I love you too,” Maggie whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

  “There’s a tracing of a hand,” Ember reported. “It says ‘place your right hand here and know that once my hand was there too.’”

  Ember looked up at Maggie, waiting for her to tell him what to do next. “Let me see,” she demanded. Maggie hovered her hand over the tracing and stared at Ember as if the task of touching it would usher in an irrevocable bond between her and the past. As she closed her eye, a tear rolled down her face and fell onto the parchment. She touched her hand to the tracing and exhaled deeply. Maggie tried to imagine the past and tried to take Abigail’s words to heart. In the back of her mind, she had secretly expected that touching the tracing would give her visions of the past, and was slightly disappointed when she discovered that that was not the case.

  Ember watched his sister for nearly a minute before rising to his feet. “Well, I think I’m going to head off to bed.”