Entrelacen

by Morales, Dani

  “She didn’t show up? Are you serious? No I have no idea where she is. She hasn’t been to the house in a few days, so I figured she’s been staying with her new boyfriend.”

  “Okay, well as of right now we’re removing the boys from her care and placing them in yours. Do you have somewhere to stay?”

  “I’m waiting on my new apartment to get cleaned out. I move in next week. I can get a motel for the next few weeks until I’m able to move into the apartment.”

  “Okay, do that, and let me know what room you are in, so I can come over with the paperwork and get your signature.”

  “I’ll callyou as soon as I know where we’re going to go.”

  I got a motel for two weeks until my

  apartment was available. I was given temporary custody of the boys. Things were heading in the direction I had planned on when I got here. Tiffany remained MIA for a while, Dad was in jail, the boys were doing great in school, and life was moving along perfectly.

  Summer passed without a hitch. School was starting. Michael was placed in this awesome program that taught sign language, and I was even learning a few things here and there. I started going to these classes for people who want to adopt or become foster parents. It’s amazing what all you have to go through. I completed the course, got FBI fingerprinted, got CPR/First aid/AED certified, and got my home and fire inspection completed. Smooth sailing.

  Tiffany finally got tracked down around the time my dad was getting ready to be released. The caseworker talked to them about going to a mediation hearing with me. The point of the mediation was to try to come to an agreement on whether they would sign papers saying I could adopt the boys with visitation right, or we would go to court to get their rights taken away. It went surprisingly well. An agreement was made.

  December 19, 2011 was the day that would forever change my life. After two years of fighting with my father and CPS, I was finally granted with the title of mother. This was the day the judge in family court decided I was more than capable of taking care of three little boys, boys that had been through hell in the last two years. I was finally able to give them the stability and love they deserved many times over.

  The first thing I did was call my mom to let her know she was officially a grandma and to tell her that we would be moving back to Vegas after Christmas. When I said the boys’ coming home for Christmas was the best gift ever, I was completely wrong. The best gift ever was the day I adopted them, and they said, “I love you mom.”

  I never understood what it felt like to be called that, and I was always jealous of my friends who had kids. Now I know. I now know what it feels like to put someone first in your life without any conscious effort. I always have put other people first but with thoughts behind it. It became automatic. It was no longer about me but was about them and what they needed. It was a rather fulfilling sensation.

  People kept telling me how proud they were of me. They said that I was remarkably mature for my age and that what I did for my little brothers was heroic. I don’t understand why they felt that way. I would assume anyone put in my position would do the same thing. How could you not? I didn’t do it for the money or the attention. I did it because it was the right thing to do. I did it because it was not their fault that they got stuck with the parents they did. I did it because they deserved the chance to grow up surrounded by love and stability. I wanted them to know they’ve always been wanted. That’s why at the age of 24 I became their legal guardian, their mother, their sister, and the person they could talk to about anything without worrying. That’s the reason why I fought so hard, because they deserved to be fought over. They were the victims in all of this.

  Chapter 16

  Logan AllIsee isblack. Iopen my eyes, and it’s still like they’reclosed. I try to move my armsandlegs, but nothing happened. I can’t feel anything, my mouth isdry,andpanic is settingin. Itry to remember what Iwasdoingbefore this. I try tofocus on hearinganythingtosee what’s wrong withme. Nothing. Silence.

  Flashesof memoriesstart playing like a reel. None of the snapshotspause longenoughfor metograsptheir meaning. I’m perplexed. Then it all disappears, and I’m sucked into the emptiness.

  ******** Ican hear occasionalbreathingnext to me. It’s not mine because I don’t even feelthe movement of my chest rising. It soundslabored as ifIt’ssomeone whois old,hasasthma, or hasbeenaheavy smoker for years. Nothinghaschanged. The same darknessis all around me. It’s driving me insane.Maybe that’s the point. I’m starting to remember a little. I know I had a task tocomplete on my 18st birthday. Some birthday, huh?Maybe one yearI’llactually have agood one,one that I’m able to celebrate.

  There isalittle bit of noise now. I hear voices, but I can’t make any sense out of what is beingsaid. A man anda woman are speaking. That’s about all I know. I can’t decipher their conversation. I try toopen my eyesandmove my hands andlegs. Stillnothing.

  Exhaustion istakingover my body.I have nocontrol. I’m pulled underneath again.

  ******** The breathingperson isback, andit seems like that person isclose tome. Ican feelpressure allover. That hastobe a good sign,right?Ican hear arhythmic beepingsound as well. Itremindsme of when I was inahospitalandwas hooked uptothose machines. I stillhave no controlover my extremities,but I can feel their numbness.

  Iremember everyt hingnow. The reelstopsat eachshot, and a brief explanation is displayed. It’s like being in schoolandtakingnotesdownfrom the teachers’ slides. My mom is dead. I don’t know ifDeandraisalive or dead. My mom was already dead when I was given my choices, soIhope they were just illusions. The kidsandthe fire felt realthough. I can stilltaste the smoke inmy mouth.

  Iwonder what day It’s. How long have Ibeenout?

  Ihear someone walk intothe room.

  “Any changes Agatha?”

  Agathaishere?Where ishere?

  “No Doctor Jones. He hasn’t moved yet.”

  “His brain is showing tremendous activity, more than it hasin the past 4 years. I wasworried that we might have to give up hope that he’ll ever wake up.”

  WHAT? I’ve been in the hospital for 4 years?How isthat even possible? Usually comapatientsare usually pulled offof life support alot sooner than that, right?

  “I think tonight is a good night. It’s his 22nd birthday after all.”

  “He’s lucky tohave you standing by hisside after allthese years. I knowwhat happenedon his18thbirthday. It’s incredible that he wasable tosave four childrenfrom the fire right after finding hismother that way. After goingthrough such a horrible tragedy, I don’t know how anyone would beable tobe suchahero. He isafighter. He’sgoing to pull through this.”

  Mom. Imagesstart toassault me. The day I saw Dad hittingher when I was thirteen flashesquickly away. The day she told me where we came from. Then the last time I would ever see her. She wasn’t alive, but she was asbeautifulasalways. She is in a better place now, and that’s all that matters.

  “Yes he is something. I think you should get ready tomeet him. Ibet he opens his eyes by this afternoon.”

  “I hope you’re right Agatha. I’llcome check again after my lunch rounds.”

  Ihear him walk outthe door and shut it.

  “Logan I know you can hear us now. It’s time toopen your eyes.”

  Itry toopen my eyes, and nothing happens. An internalsighiscutoffby the darknessapproaching. I open my eyesand see I’m standingin afield of grass. The sunisshiningbright, and the warmth feelswonderful on my skin. I can smell... my mom. Iturn tolook tothe left since that’s the direction the breeze is coming from, and she’s standing there.

  “Hello Logan.”

  “Hey Mom. Whatare you doing here? Does this mean I’m dead?”

  “No son.I’mhere tosay It’stime, time for you toopen your eyesandlive again.”

  “I tried, and they wouldn’t open.”

  “I wanted to speak with you again before you returned. Manythingshave happenedsince your fight. The illusion of me andDeandrawas just that. However, the fire at t
he elementary schoolwas real. You did wellson.You are goingtobe great at what is coming next for you.”

  “What are you talking about Mom?”

  “Don’t close your heart to love Logan. Make mistakes, have fun, live your life,andmake every moment worthit. Your mission is just around the corner.”

  “By mission, you mean my purpose, right? The person I’m supposed to

  protect?”

  “Yes Logan, but It’stime towake up now. You have alongyearahead of you. I love you, I always have, and I always will.”

  “I love you too Mom, always have, and always will.”

  “Goodbye for now son.”

  “Bye Mom.”

  My eyes opened to a white ceiling. My sense of smell was overwhelmed with the smell of flowers and antiseptic. God, I hate hospitals. I looked down and saw the wires all over my arms, and there was a tube in my throat. I lifted my hand to pull it out as the doctor walked in.

  “Well I’ll be damned Agatha. You were right.”

  “Good to see those eyes Logan. Give me a few minutes, and we can get that tube taken out of your mouth.”

  I flinched as they removed the tube. It made me feel like I was going to throw up. The only thing that kept repeating in my head was that I had been completely out of the land of living for 4 years. I remembered my 18th birthday. That’s when everything went to hell, literally. Now I’m waking up on my 22nd

  birthday? There had to be something more going on than me just passing out because of the fire.

  “Okay Logan. Can you tell me if you feel this?”

  He started running the back of the pen up and down the bottom of my right foot. Some guys would never admit this, but we’re just as ticklish as some girls, so my foot squirmed, “Yes I can feel that.”

  “I know it seems crazy to ask these questions, but I need to since you’ve been in a coma for 4 years to the day. You might have to go through some physical therapy to retrain your extremities and strengthen your muscles.”

  “I feel fine though, like I’ve only been asleep. Is therapy necessary?”

  “Well let’s take it slow. Bed rest today since you just woke up, and

  tomorrow we can see if you can get up and moving around. Sound fair?”

  “Deal.”

  “I’m really glad you made it back Logan. Let’s stay out of burning buildings from now on, shall we?”

  “I’ll see what I can do.”

  Chuckling, he turned to Agatha, “Make sure he stays in bed Agatha. I know he’s going to want to get up and move around, but he can’t right now.”

  “No problem Dr. Jones.”

  The last thing I wanted to do was stay lying in this bed. I needed to get out of here and figure out what I was going to do since Mom was gone. Where would I stay? I took a look at Agatha and saw her smiling at me. Great, that’s a loaded smile.

  “Go on and say it Agatha.”

  She tried to look surprised, but she wasn’t fooling anyone. I remember what my Mom said about going to her. She would know what to do to help me.

  “Well first, you haven’t really been in a coma Logan. Do you remember anything?”

  “No, not really. Just that it was always dark. I kept a reel of pictures, but I could never see what they were or tell what they were about. Not until recently.”

  “Well you were in-between realms, or limbo if you would like to call it that. That’s why you couldn’t feel anything and were always in darkness.”

  “Okay. So what are my chances of getting off this bed without having to go through therapy?”

  “Pretty good actually. Dr. Jones might be surprised though. He started worrying this last year that you weren’t going to make it back. Your brain activity gradually increased each day, until it started going beyond normal. It’s like your brain was learning.”

  “Well I started hearing you guys speak, but my body wouldn’t obey me when I wanted to open my eyes or move my arms.”

  “Don’t worry about it now. The good thing is your eyes are open, and you can move around. The rest will be a breeze. It’s like you took a really long nap.”

  “That’s exactly what it feels like.”

  “Enough talk for now. You need rest. We can talk tomorrow.”

  So I went to sleep. I closed my eyes and thought there was no possible way that I could fall asleep again, but I fell asleep immediately. For once, I was not worried about what my dreams would contain. The feeling of darkness that always seemed to buzz inside of me had dulled significantly.

  A few days after the great

  awakening I was discharged from the hospital without therapy. Agatha told me I would be staying at her house. She said she had already moved all of my stuff over there. It was going to be weird staying next door knowing that I wouldn’t see mom coming home or see all the super expensive things in the house that became our home. Agatha said, “Home is where you make it.” Maybe she was right, but home was going to be different without Mom.

  I had to figure out what I was going to do. I didn’t have a job, so getting one of those was on the top of the list of things to do. I didn’t want to live with Agatha forever. I was 22 after all. I started working for her in her book store. It was actually more fun than I thought it would be. There was this cool coffee area and this new age area in the back that hardly anyone knew about. I was always drawn back there, and I always got this feeling like this was where I was supposed to be. I worked almost every day because Agatha deserved a break.

  Present Day I had been working at the bookstore for about a year now. Life has been somewhat calm for once, which feels much more pleasant than my previous live. I feel comfortable here.

  I'm standing behind the counter when Agatha strolled in with a huge smile on her face. Of course I'm curious; living with Agatha had been interesting to say the least. She always has me on my toes. She reminds me of Mom so much that the pain has all but gone away. It's not throbbing like it did at first.

  “Okay, Gran what’s with the megawatt smile?” Agatha had insisted that I start calling her that.

  "Nothing for you to worry about right now. You will find out soon enough."

  The smile on my face drops. It can't be happening again, can it? Wait. She was smiling when she walked in, so maybe this was going to be something good. I don't know if I can take more bad news since I’m just starting to feel comfortable back in the land of the living. Four years changes everything. I missed so much. I still can't get a hold of Deandra, so I'm not sure how she is doing. That worries me. I know mom was already dead when he gave me the variables to the equation, but Deandra wasn’t. I keep calling the last number I have for her, but it just rings and rings. It never goes to voicemail, and it never gets picked up.

  I’m trying to put it all behind me. Maybe D has moved on with her life or forgotten me. Maybe she just doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Who knows? It has been a long day, so I let Gran know that I'm heading up to my room to crash. My body is still trying to work out a schedule. It’s not used to being so active after resting all that time.

  Gran had done a perfect job on replicating my room. It had the same dark feeling of my room next door. Everything was black. I could only keep it like that for the first month or so. It reminded me of the darkness too much, so I needed a change. The walls were black, like they were next door, but I changed them to be a chocolate brown color that looked really nice with these light blue sheets I got. All my furniture was black, but I didn’t have enough money to replace it all so I just left it. The blue and brown break up the darkness and provide some light. I also leave the window shades open. Gran gave me the room where the windows faced the sky. Ever since I came back from wherever I was, I have been drawn to the stars. Every night I fall asleep staring at the sky. Sadly, you can’t see many stars in this town since the lights from the Vegas strip are always so bright. I know that they’re there though, and that gives me enough peace. At least it did, until tonight.

  I’m walking down Gillespie again, he
adingtoward that same empty field across from the abandoned houses. I don’t want togoback there, but my body doesn’t stop. I walk right up to the body lying motionless. There’s red everywhere, blood coveringthe once brownground, poolingaround my feet. Her once vibrant green eyesare now lifelessanddull. Her skin is purple and blue. Her face doesn’t look scared like Ithought itwould. My mom wasafighter tothe end. You can tellby the defensewoundsandbruising that she didn’t go down easily. I turn away andlook at the schoolon my right. It lookslike it hadn't touched by a fire. The building on the left didn’t look new or like it wasever touched by fire either. Interesting. Maybe that wasjust an illusion then,whichmeansDeandraisokay. I walk around,waitingfor the voice that I know is coming, but it never does. There’s no feelingof fear or insecurity anymore. There isjust the feelingof sadness. This placewillalwaysremind me of my mom.

  Ican feelsomeone callingtome, draggingme toanother place. The field and school disappear. I’m floating on a cloud now withmillionsof starstwinkling around me. It’s calming and hypnotic being so close to them. Happy, that’s what I’m feeling. Then a ringingbreaks

  through…

  My alarm clock is going off. As I sit up, the calm is still with me. I brought along the peace of floating amongst the clouds and stars back with me. This is the best I have felt in a long time. I know something is going to happen soon. I can feel it. I get up to take a shower and get ready for work. I’ll probably be running a bunch of errands for Gran today.

  I grab my royal blue shirt, which is starting to feel a little tight. I’ve always kept my body in shape, but the craziest thing happened after I woke up from my nap. It’s like my body started going through a rapid growth spurt or

  something. My abs got really defined, and my arms bulked up. I put on my favorite faded blue jeans, and then get some hair wax to run through my black hair to give it that messy look. I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to find the boy from 5 years ago. Only his hazel eyes stare back at me. They’re a deep green today, a blue-grey outlining the green; they show everything about me. My eyes are the only things I can’t mask, but luckily enough I don’t have anyone around anymore who can read me.