I get in my car, which is Mom's old car; I fixed it up a little. It’s a silver Mustang. It’s still in perfect condition. All I really did to it was take out the girly stuff. Then I added some rims and a really good sound system. The base is loud enough that Gran can hear me from a block away. This care is the only thing I have left of Mom, so I take care of it the best I can. I’m listening to an awesome local band. Their song “Closer to you” is playing, and I can’t help thinking that it’s important to pay attention to the lyrics. Something about this song feels like a warning. Maybe I’m going crazy. I’ll ask Gran when I get there.
I walk inside and see a few
customers here already. I check to make sure there is plenty of fresh coffee and tea. Then, I start walking around, grabbing books that are in the wrong locations and putting them back where they belong. I make it to the back where the “new age” books and stuff used for the craft are to find Gran.
I peak my head through the door to make sure she’s alone. “Hey Gran. I have a question for you.”
“Well spill it my boy. I don’t feel like digging around in that messy head of yours.”
I chuckle, “On the way up here, I heard this song, and for some reason, I felt like I needed to pay attention to the lyrics. I just wanted to know if you know why.”
“Well you should listen to them Logan. You are going to meet someone very soon. That’s what I was talking about yesterday when I came in with my "megawatt smile" as you put it. I knew that the course you’re on would be changing soon. Now you do too, and I’ll tell you that it’s going to revolve around a girl. You will know she is the one you have been searching for because of those lyrics.”
“Gran, you're crazy. I haven’t been searching for anyone.”
“Maybe not consciously, but your soul and heart have always been
searching.”
“Okay. So the girl I’m supposed to end up with is going to have something to do with that song?”
“Logan, what part of the song do you remember?”
I think about it, and there’s only one verse that keep popping into my mind and repeating itself like a silly mantra.
“'Do you see my face, sad behind a smile, fake it for a while.' That’s the part of the song I remember. Why do you ask?”
“Simple really. She will be just that. Also, that song will have meaning to her as well.”
“Okay, enough crazy talk. What are my errands today?”
I look back at Gran. She is totally ignoring me and trying to see around me into the rest of the shop, so I start to walk away.
“Go down to the post office to pick up our mail. Then head to Wal-Mart, get some more stuff for the coffee and tea area, and come back.”
Something is off about her voice, and she looks like she’s expecting someone. I ignore the look because I don't know why she would be waiting for someone. I’m so focused on the lyrics in my head that I don't even pay attention to where I'm going.
“I believe that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we’re, but we’re responsible for who we become.”
-Anonymous
Chapter 17
April It’s a new year, a new life, a new beginning for all of us, and a new place to live. We drove the 880 miles from Lubbock, Texas to Las Vegas, Nevada. The boys absolutely love it here. I was so worried that they would hate it and be mad that I took them away from their parents. That's not the case; it’s the complete opposite. They’ve grown rather attached to my Mom and started calling her Grandma, like that’s who she has been their entire lives. I guess, in their mind, she might have been. She came down to Texas to visit us when she could, so it just made sense to call her that.
I got them enrolled in school right away. They needed a structured routine, and I didn’t want screw up all that I had started working on back in Texas before everything became official. I wasn’t working yet; I didn’t really need to. My mom wanted us to stay with her so we could get situated. The boys' school schedule was all over the place, so working wasn’t really an option at first. So while the boys were in school, I picked up an old hobby. Reading. There is nothing like reading and getting lost in another world for the moment; it’s like it was created specifically for you. I also started writing more. Not in the sense of poems like usual, but I started blogging and posting reviews of the books I’ve been reading.
I’ve become obsessive in a way. If I wasn’t with the kids or doing something around the house, I was reading and reviewing. My mom told me I should get a job in a bookstore. Perfect idea! Now I just need to find a bookstore who needs help and would let me work a weird, random schedule. With that, the hunt began.
I start looking for a privately owned bookstore. As I'm driving around, I stumble upon this forgotten section of businesses. It's like something is drawing me to the area, like a magnetic force propelling me forward. I feel like I should be scared, but I'm not. Its the strangest thing; I feel like I'm supposed to be here. I look around trying to get an idea of what’s around me. You can never be too careful, even in broad daylight. There are a lot of vacancies, a bookstore, a spa, a local pub, and a selfdefense studio making up the massive St. Rose Square shopping area.
I walk to the bookstore after talking myself out of going to get my nails done. The doors to the book store are reflective. I can't see in, but I’m certain someone on the inside could see out. The front door has writing on it:
Wrote & Bound
Where fantasy becomes a reality. A selection of books to enjoy while relaxing
with a cup of coffee or tea.
Open Daily 8am-8pm I immediately feel as if this is the bookstore I’ve been searching for. I push the door open at the same time someone on the inside is pulling it open. It causes me to stumble, ungracefully I might add, into the chest of a remarkably fit guy. Immediately I feel my face flush scarlet and try to step back. His strong hands are flexing on my waist to steady me. I realize that I'm shaking.
When my wits start to focus, I inhale a nd I’m assaulted by the most sensual masculine scent I have ever smelt. It’s like the smell of rain mixed with laundry soap and desire. Okay. MaybeI’m just smelling my own desire. I’ve never been so insanely attracted to someone without even seeing his face. That’s when I notice my hands have embedded themselves into his royal blue shirt. I let go and take a step back. His hands drop to his sides and ball into fists. He’s wearing some faded blue jeans that are just a little baggy and look perfect on him. His shirt is form fitting, and if I hadn't already felt up his chest and stomach, I would have noticed his abs through his shirt. My gaze finally lands on his face, and all thoughts immediately vacate the area.
He has beautiful hazel eyes that could rival my own. They hold humor in their depths. His lips are absolutely perfect. I just want to kiss them to see if they were as soft as they look and run my fingers through his untamed black hair. His face looks like it has been sculpted from marble, very tan marble. His smile break whatever spell I was under, and I feel completely embarrassed. I was caught checking him out. I don’t do that. What the hell is wrong with me? Speak April. You look so stupid right now.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, umm, fall into you and, uh, mess up your shirt.”
The smile gets bigger, and his eyes shine like there’s light behind them. Electricity shoots through my body. Every molecule inside me is aware of his proximity and wants to touch and caress him.
“No, I’m sorry. I was so busy talking to Gran that I got distracted, and I wasn’t paying attention to see if someone was outside.”
His voice is a deep, seductive sound that oozes charm and confidence. This is retarded. I’m having some intense feelings for this guy that I don’t know and probably don’t have a chance in hell with.
“No harm done. Thanks for, umm, catching me?”
Why did I just phrase that as a question? I need to get away from this guy; he’s making thinking extremely difficult. I try to step around him into the store and stop d
ead in my tracks. This store is perfection. I guess pausing makes him think I'm waiting for him to say something else.
“No problem at all.”
I don't want to turn around and face him again, but his tone held a playfulness that I wasn’t sure I could ignore. I can't throw myself at this guy; I don't even know him. Get it together April! I let out the breath I was holding and turn to look over my shoulder to offer him a smile, but he is already walking away. I don’t know if I’m more disappointed that he just walked away like I was hoping he would or that I didn’t really want him to go.
I turn back to focus on the bookstore and am pulled back into the amazing sensation that brought me here in the first place. There is a little coffee and tea nook on the left side; it has a few tables with chairs, a couple of oversized love seats with coffee tables in front, and a wide selection of muffins. I’m so in love with this place already. It’s so open and much bigger than I thought it would be when I first walked up to the door. I believe that the feeling of the place is the most important thing.
I pass the nook to make my way along the outside wall, so I can see all around me. The owner has set this place up perfectly. As I get closer to the back, I notice the area is smaller than what it should be, like the wall is hiding another area. I cross over to check out the other side of the store, but my attention keeps straying back to that area.I wonder what’s back there.
Have you ever taken the time to smell a book? I know I sound insane, but there’s just something about the way an old book smells that makes me feel happy. It’s like you can smell the history of the book. I love it! It’s one of those things that make me a major nerd, but I’m okay with that.
“You’re not a nerd.”
I turn to look behind me, and I see this adorable old lady with a smile that's as bright as the sun. She’s missing a few teeth, and her face is lined with wrinkles, but somehow those things don't take away from the warmth you feel looking at her. You can tell that every wrinkle is from laughing and living a wonderful life. Her eyes are electric blue. They show the wisdom she has gathered during her many years. She’s no taller than me, maybe about 5 foot 2 inches. She’s wearing this dress that reminds me of Texas summers, sitting out in the backyard soaking up the sun.
“I’m sorry. Did I say that out loud?” I don’t remember words actually coming out of my mouth. I know the thought ran across my mind, but I know I didn’t speak. How did she know what I was thinking?
“Come now child, you and I both know you didn’t speak that; you thought it.”
She has this strange look on her face. I’m starting to wonder if I’ve completely lost my mind. Maybe the guy at the door rendered me brain-dead. That guy was really cute; I wonder what his name is. Wait. Why do I care? Why am I having an internal conversation with myself? That’s it. I’ve really lost it. I hear this musical laughter and look up at the old lady. She has an amused look on her face, and her eyes are glowing. I feel the heat creep up my face. What is it with this place?
“Follow me. You have many questions that I cannot answer out here in the open.”
“How do you-”
She cuts me off, “Child please just follow me, and I’ll answer all your questions.”
I find myself following her and laughing internally. I’ve never been cut off by anyone, let alone an old lady. We walk to the back of the store, and I feel that same pull I felt before intensify. That electrical current I felt when that guy touched me is coursing through my veins to every inch of my body. I’ve never felt more alive than I do at this moment. I can see, hear, and feel everything around me. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. This feeling is somethingI’ll never forget.
“Ah, I was right. I knew I could feel you as soon as you walked up to the front door.” She says nodding her head.
“What do you mean you felt me as I walked up to the door?”
“Just that child. Your energy surrounds you; it’s the thing you’re referring to as ‘electricity’. It moves with you, around you, and inside you. When you come in contact with someone or something or even a place that your energy recognizes, you feel that humming sensation.”
“What is this place?”
“Out front is my bookstore. My name is Agatha, but you may call me Gran. We’re going to be very close, you and I. That young man that keeps crossing you mined is Logan. He lives with me and is the grandson I always wanted.”
Logan. So that’s his name. A part of me is screaming that this lady is crazy, and I need to run. The other part of me knows exactly what she is talking about. My mom grew up In a Catholic family, and I was baptized Catholic, but we’ve always practiced as Wiccans. It’s not something I tell to people usually because there are so many
misconceptions about being Wiccan. It's easier to not say anything at all.
“Okay. So this back portion of the store is dedicated to the craft, right? You don’t do black magic, do you?”
If she tells me that she practices black magic, I’m leaving. As much as I love this place, I’ll not get involved in black magic. I know before she answers that she doesn’t; that’s not the type of energy I feel in here. It’s a valid question and one that needs to be asked though, just to make sure.
“No. I know you just need to hear me say that, so I’ll. I do not and have no intentions in doing black magic. Ever. Now whether or not some people come in here with that in mind, which is their own problem. We cannot try to persuade them otherwise. It’s a choice they have to make on their own.”
“Wait. What do you mean 'we'?”
“Sit down. There are many things we need to discuss.”
She starts gathering things and placing them on the table in front of whereI’m still standing. Should I sit down to hear her out or leave? I take the seat and look atthe things she’s placing on the table. I recognize the tarot cards and a few candles, but that’s it.
“Okay child. First, do you know the power that you have inside you? The only other person I’ve met with the same potential is Logan.”
“I’ve been told before that I come from a powerful family on my mother’s side. I’ve always been able to sense and speak to spirits, but I stay away from everything else.”
“Why’s that, child?”
“Well nothing comes without a price, so to avoid it all. I have never done anything else other than cleanse places.”
“That’s good. You’re pure, not corrupted.”
“Okay. As interesting as this is, I don’t think I should get involved.”
“I’m only going to tell you a few more things, nothing relating to magic or the cards, but about your lifeand Logan's. He’s had a difficult upbringing. If you are going to be working here, you should know that he will come off as confident, maybe even flirtatious, but it’s just an image he portrays to protect himself. It’s like the shield you’ve created over your heart so no one can break it like the last boy did. You two walk around with the attitude that you are perfectly fine being alone so you so you can avoid your fear of rejection. You are not fine being alone though. The issue you have with your weight is not a problem. You just have to love yourself before someone can love you. You are also worried that no guy will ever love you enough to take on the extra baggage of raising your boys. You need to know that anyone worth your time would love to have those precious boys be part of his life as well.”
I’m completely speechless. What do you say to that? I’m pretty sure I got hired without having to do anything other than walk through the door, well, that and stumble into Logan that is. Just thinking about him sets my body burning. An ache I never knew I had is making its presence known.
“Okay. So I need to learn to love myself and be open to the possibility of someone being able to love me and my boys? Got it. And Logan is more than what he seems. Okay. Now all I need to know is when you would like me to start.”
She laughs and it sounds like music. “Tomorrow after your drop the kids off at school. We can go over the times
you can work and get you a set of keys made then.”
“Sounds like a perfect plan! Thank you so much Gran. I absolutely love this store already!”
With that, I walk out the door feeling lighter than air. I’m so excited that I’ll be getting to work in the bookstore. Agatha is the teacher that I knew would find me when the universe thought I was ready.
Chapter 18
Logan I grab the door open quickly. I have this sense of urgency that I need to hurry. Before I can think about why I'm in such a hurry, someone slams into me. I look down to see the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. This girl is the perfect height. She fits into me so well that it's like she was made specifically for me. She's not skinny like all the girls I’m used to seeing; this girl has major curves. I never knew I could be this attracted to someone, but this girl has my skin buzzing with
electricity. My heart feels like It’s going to beat out of my chest. My hands are flexed, I notice they’re on her hips holding her in place. She is shaking. Can she feel the current zapping between us too?
She must have realized that she was pressing against my shirt because she steps back removing her hands. I drop mine to my side, and they automatically ball into fists. I have the urge to pull her back to me. She smells like sunshine and
something I can’t place; I just know that all I want to do is get lost in that smell. Her eyes finally make their way to mine. Our gazes connect, and we’re locked in. She has the most beautiful hazel eyes I’ve ever seen. They’re green with bursts of orange in them and a grey-blue outline. She breaks the stare and examines my face like she’s trying to memorize it. Her eyes roam slowly from my eyes, to my nose, and then linger on my lips. I feel them start to curve into a smile that breaks her examination. How can I be so turned on from just being checked out? I’ve been checked out before, but nothing compares to the way I’m feeling right now.
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