A look of horror comes over his face, "Come on Mom. You said you wouldn’t do that in front of strangers.”
“Well Mathew, Logan isn’t a
stranger now, is he?”
“No Mom. He's your boyfriend!”
I start laughing at the look of surprise that crosses April’s face.
“Now Mathew, you know that Logan and I are just friends.”
“Sure Mom, if that’s what you want to call it.”
He takes off running to the kitchen. I’m confused at first. Then, he ducks behind me and pulls me in front of him as if to shield himself. I look up to see April running into the kitchen. She stops right in front of me. “Mathew Martinez, you get out from behind Logan right now,” she says with a smile.
So I play defense and block her hands as she tries to grab for him. We all start laughing. April makes the older two get their homework out and starts working on it with them. Michael grabs my hand and cuddles up with me on the bean bag.
The boys finish up with their homework and hand it over to April to check, while they run up stairs to put on some play clothes. I walk up behind her to look over her shoulder at their homework. Her body tenses, and she holds her breath. I chuckle and whisper right next to hear ear, “Breathe April.” I back up as the boys come running down the stairs. They each grab one of the baskets I filled up with water balloons. Lee grabs the yellow and blue ones, and Mathew grabs the black and red.
Michael fell asleep while we were watching cartoons, so he’s out. April goes up stairs to change, while I change in the bathroom downstairs. When she comes back down, my breathing stops. I think she’s doing this on purpose. She’s wearing some jean shorts, a black tank top, and some red Converse shoes. Her blonde and red hair is tied into a ponytail, showing off her neck. I guess she's going to play dirty.
We start to head to the back door when the front door opens. April’s mom walks in, introduces herself, scoops up Michael and disappears into her room. We continue out back. The yard is a disaster zone. Piles of dirt here and there, trenches built everywhere. I then realize what an awesome and fun mother April is. You can see car tracks and broken water balloons all over the dirt.
The guys who are working on the yard must have hit a pipe or something because there are puddles of water, well mud, and spread all over the backyard. Now I know why she said to bring extra clothes. Armed and ready to go, I count to three, and we all run for cover. On his way to duck behind a mound of dirt, Mathew slips and falls into one of the mud puddles. I laugh and get distracted by his muddy appearance until I'm snapped back into the game when not one, but two water balloons hit me in the chest.
I look around to find her and barely see her as she slides behind a trench. Game on! We all go to battle for a while. Somewhere along the line, Lee abandons me and goes inside. Mathew is going strong at April’s side. I’m getting soaked and caked in mud since It’s 2 on 1. Then April tries to climb out of a trench and slips in mud. I look down to see I’m out of balloons, so before she can get up, I run next to her and pick up a handful of mud to dump on her. Mathew heads inside before he gets covered in more mud.
April gets up with her two hands full of mud. One lands in my face, and the other lands on the back of my head when I turn around. April’s mom yells out the door that she’s getting the boys ready for bed. With April distracted I tackle her into the biggest mud puddle. We both start laughing. I still have her pinned
underneath me when the sprinklers go off. I’m looking down at her as dirty water falls off of me onto her. She’s looking up at me, and I wipe the mud off her face and lips.
Her eyes are shining bright with excitement, and I can feel her heart beating rapidly. It’s like our hearts are synced to each other. Our breathing is labored, and our eyes are searching each other’s. That’s when I decide to do it. I’m going to take the leap and hope it’s not for nothing. I lower my head, she closes her eyes, and my lips touch hers. Once. Twice. On the third time, the kiss becomes more urgent. April’s hands are around my neck, twining into my hair, and pulling me deepens the kiss. I trace my tongue on her lips, and she opens her mouth.
She always smells like mints, and she taste just like that too. It’s how I imagined she would taste. She has a unique taste, and it’s one that has me drunk. Our tongues take turns exploring each other’s mouths and getting familiar with each other. It takes everything in me to pull back, but when I do, I don’t get very far. April pulls me back down for another kiss as she moans into my mouth. I’m totally screwed.
Chapter 29
April Oh. My. God. What was supposed to be hanging out with my kids, turns into a hot make out session in the mud. I’ve made out with my share of guys, not that I’m bragging or anything, but I have never, and I mean never, been kissed like this. If perfection is possible, I would say kissing Logan is definitely perfection. His lips are softer than I thought possible. The way he moves them slowly and passionately, as he takes his time to explore every inch of my mouth, has me coming completely undone.
You know when people say they see fireworks behind their eyelids when they kiss someone? Well, this isn't fireworks, or even stars, but love. Pure, undeniable, crazy Love. It has completely taken me by surprised. When he starts to pull away, I have to pull him back to make sure what I was feeling wasn’t from the excitement of a first kiss, but are my true feelings. He tastes like chocolate. Sounds crazy, right? But he does. When we finally stopped kissing, I lick my lips. I can still taste him. It take everything in me to let him help me up so we can go get cleaned up. All my thoughts are trying to come up with a way to get him to kiss me again.
I never thought girls would ever have to take a cold shower, but just thinking about his kiss has me reeling. The way he stroked my face to get the mud off, the way he looked into my eyes, and the way he smiled at me, had me feeling extremely excited. God, this boy has me completely acting like a fool. I’ve never been one to believe in fate. I know we all have destinies and purposes in life, but maybe there is something more. Maybe fate is real, and everything that happened to both of us got us prepared for each other. I gave Logan my shower and took one down stairs in my mom’s bathroom. When I finish, I go upstairs to check on the boys, who are all sound asleep. As I’m walking out, I run into Logan.
“We really need to stop meeting this way,” Logan says with a chuckle.
My face flushes immediately, and I laugh embarrassingly, “Well, if you would watch where you were going, we wouldn’t have this problem.”
“Hey! I was coming out of the room when you walked into the room.”
“Come on. Is that the best you've got?”
I love playing with him. I’ve missed this kind of interaction. I’m laughing as I walk further into my room to throw my clothes in the hamper. I’m walking out of my closet when I’m lifted off my feet and thrown on my bed. Logan is laughing above me as I’m trying to catch my breath. He’s terribly gorgeous, smart, and funny. Best of all, he wants me too. At least I think he wants me. He’s looking at me like he wants me.
“What’s going on inside that head of yours?” He asks curiously.
No secrets, remember April? Own it up, and spit it out if you’re going to think it. “You want this, right? This being me. I mean I really like you Logan, but I won’t jeopardize my kids. They don’t need me bringing people in and out of their lives like their parents did. So I need to make sure this is something you really want.”
I hold my breath and look away from him. I’m not sure I could go back to the bookstore if he walks out right now, no matter how much I love being there. I wouldn’t be able to face him if this, whatever this is, doesn’t work out.
“April, why wouldn’t you think this would work out? What makes you question whether or not I want you? Have I not proven that I do want you?”
“Logan, did you hear my thoughts? I totally didn’t say any of that out loud.”
He looks really confused at my question, and you can tell as soon as the light
bulb goes off. His eyes are shining bright with excitement, his smile is brilliant, and he is vibrating with energy. He looks like my kids when they get a new toy.
“I thought you said it out loud! It was like you were speaking in my head, and my mind just assumed you actually spoke. Does that mean you projected your thoughts to me, or I read your mind?”
“Umm, I’m not sure. Gran said when I feel really strongly about something, that’s when I project- ," I let myself trail off, hoping he stays focused on being able to hear thoughts, instead of on the content of what I was thinking.
“Let’s try it again! Wait! You just said when you feel strongly about something. What exactly where you feeling April?” His voice is serious and so different from the playful banter we had going on a little while ago.
I try to come up with something to say that’s not going to dig me a bigger hole or make me admit more. I know its crazy ridiculous to be having the intense feelings that I have for him, but if he can pick up on my thoughts, I need to develop some kind of shield or something. Crap! I look over at him, and he has that look again. The doe-eyed, amazed look, but then he gets serious. He walks up to me. I take a step back, and then his hands are framing my face. His face is about an inch away from mine, and all the serious thoughts I was having vanish. The only thought that remains is that if I lean forward, our lips will connect. I lick my lips in hope. Anticipation.
“April, stop looking at me like that and licking your lips. This is serious. Trying to distract me like that won’t work.”
Sighing, I nod my head but bite my lip out of habit. He groans. I smile.
Shaking his head, his voice is husky, “I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do with you, but I do need you to know something.”
I mentally prepare to put up shields I’ve perfected my whole life for whatever It’s he has to say, just in caseIt’sn't what I want to hear.
Controlling my emotions and wearing a mask have become second nature to me. They help protect me from heartache, rejection, and basically anything that can hurt me. Being around Gran and Logan has made me soft. I’ve never felt the need to hide b ehind a smile with them, but that could all change now. Instant regret is seeping its way through all the cracks and crevices. How could I be so stupid to believe this would be any different from anything before?
“First of all, you need to know you can trust me. I wouldn’t do or say anything I don’t mean. So with that being said, I want to be here with you. I’ll admit I was worried about the boys, but not in the way you might think. I was worried that they wouldn’t like me, and then you wouldn't want to be around me. Second, what is a shield, and why would you need that around me?”
Okay, I should feel relieved that he wants to be around me and the boys, but I’m not yet. Honesty April, he’s been nothing but honest with you, so it’s your turn. “Okay, let me answer your question from before. The intense feeling I was feeling before when you heard me was all directed to you and was about you. I feel really strongly about you. I was
overanalyzing my feelings for you and how they could be possible when we barely know each other. A shield is what you call my mask. It’s an invisible wall that I surround around my mind and heart, so I won’t get hurt.”
“Okay. So why would you need a shield around me?” He sounds wounded, like I just took away his favorite toy and told him he couldn’t have it back, ever.
“Well it has more to do with myself than you,” I sigh, hoping that would be enough, but with that look he is giving me, I know it’s not. “Fine. To be brutally honest with you, it's because you and I don’t make sense Logan, I mean look at me. You are gorgeous and perfect, and I'm, well, I'm me. Why would you want me when I have three kids? You could have any girl you want, so it’s hard to see how I fit into that.”
“Stop. Stop right there. You can’t do that around me anymore April.” He’s mad. I know I should take his anger seriously, but he looks really sexy like this.
“For the sake of not arguing and waking up the boys, fine, I won’t say that again.”
“Thank you. You’re wrong though. If anything, I don’t deserve you. You don’t see how amazing you are, and maybe that’s because you don’t have someone to tell you that, but it’s true. I care about you April, and those boys won me over today. I had more fun than I can ever remember having today with you guys. Don't run away from me I don’t know if I could survive that.”
I’m so happy that I don’t respond to him with words, but I show him in a different way. He had moved to stand by the door to my room, like I was going to make him leave or something. I walk up to him, grab his hand, shut the door behind him, and take him to the bed. I push him down. I climb on the bed and straddle him. He looks scared and excited, so I lean in and whisper in his ear, “Breathe.” I kiss him. I kiss him with every ounce of emotion I feel for him pouring through my mouth. I drop all the shields I held in place and feel him gasp underneath my mouth. His hands find their way to my hips, and I’m reminded of the day we first saw each other. I pull back to look at his face, and I see all of him. He's completely clothed, but naked to me.
Chapter 30
Logan I can’t believe she doesn’t realize how amazing she is. The fact that she adopted these boys so they could have a better life proves I’m not good enough for her, not the other way around. Now I’m lying on her bed while she’s straddling me and kissing me like that. Then I feel it. She’s completely opened herself up to me. I can feel the way she feels about me, the way she loves the boys, and every other emotion she has: her fear, her hopes, her dreams and how I fit into all of it now. So I do what she did. I open myself up completely to her. At least I think that’s what I’m doing. When I open my eyes, she’s staring at me with that same look she has when she is with her boys. I know she sees me, all of me.
The connection between us is humming; the air around us is charged. I want her in every way imaginable right now, but she deserves something more than that. I’m not ready to leave her just yet, but if I stay any longer, this could lead somewhere that we’re both not ready for. I feel the need to stake my claim on her though; it’s an odd feeling, one I’m not used to but find myself enjoying. So how do I do that? ‘Will you be my girlfriend’ sounds so high school, so what am I supposed to say?
“Logan,” an annoyed April breaks through my thoughts. I guess she’s been calling me a couple of times now.
“Yeah, sorry. I got lost in a thought. What’s up?”
“I can tell. Your eyes got this far
away look in them. So umm, it’s getting
late. Do you need me to drive you back to
work to get your car?”
“Oh no, don’t worry about that. I'll
just walk home, and Gran can take me to
work in the morning.”
“Wait. Walk home? Do you live
close? I don’t mind taking you, really.” “Don’t worry about it April. I only
live two streets over.”
“Alright, but call or text me when
you make it home.”
She takes my phone from me and
programs her number into it. She doesn’t
comment when she notices that the only
two numbers in the phone are for Gran
and the store. I know she’s confused by her eyebrows furrowing in, the nervous habit of her biting on the right corner of her lower lip, and the way she avoids my eyes. She wants to know why, but she doesn’t ask. It’s one of the things I love about her. When most people would ask questions, she doesn’t. She clearly wants to, but she will wait until I’m ready to
volunteer the information.
“Okay, you have my number now
so, call me when you get there.”
She still hasn’t met my eyes yet,
and her voice trembled when she said
that. How does she expect me to walk
away from her when she’s so damn cute? I
just keep thinking tha
t I want to push her
back onto the bed and peel the clothes off
her. Shaking my head to get that image
out, I walk to the door.
We’re making our way down the
stairs to the front door when I feel it. I turn to look at April, and she’s heading back upstairs, taking the steps two at a time. Completely confused, I turn to look toward the backyard and see April’s mom
in the doorway.
“Is everything okay?” I ask her
because just staring at each other feels
awkward.
“I hope you are ready to fight again
Logan. It’s not going to be as easy as it
was the first time. A choice is going to
have to be made. You will have to decide
whether to protect the one you love or
protect your destiny.”
Her voice isn’t the same. It’s deep
and filled with a sense of foreboding. I look
more closely, and her eyes are a solid
black. It’sn't April's Mom anymore. The
darkness has taken over her body. I should
be afraid, but I’m not. All I feel is a sense
of urgency. What does she mean, a choice?
Why does it always have to be a choice? “I have a choice between protecting
who I love and protecting who I’m
destined to protect?”
“Exactly. You are the new protector
in your family. You are destined to protect
something or someone great. Your loyalty
will be tested. Will you protect the one you
love or the one you were born to protect?
Be ready.”
Well shit.
I guess that kills my theory that
April is the one. Not the one in the sense
of a soul mate, because I know she’s that
ONE, but if she isn’t who I’m supposed to
protect, then who is? Turning away from
April’s mom, I head back upstairs to find
April. She’s sitting in the door frame of
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