Desolation

by Bella Jewel

  I want to vomit, and fear claws its way into my chest. Why didn’t I just stay downstairs? Why did I come back up here? Artreau steps forward, and I yell out, “I’ve got my period.”

  He stops and his face scrunches up. “Filthy woman. I don’t need to know those kinds of things.”

  “You can’t . . . take me while I’ve got my period.”

  He narrows his eyes. “You’re lying.”

  “Check,” I say boldly.

  He scoffs. “If this is a way of getting away from me, it won’t work. Those things only last a few days. I’ll come back for you, Pippa. You owe me.” He leans down, putting his hands on the bed either side of my body. “And I will take it. Next time it’ll be more than my fingers plunging inside you. I hope you’re looking forward to it as much as I am.”

  With that, he turns and walks out. I breathe a sigh of relief. There’s fear still lodged firmly in my heart, though. Artreau will be back; I know he will be. He gets what he wants. I don’t know how I’ll get past him when the time comes, but I have Rainer, and if I have to stick by his side every second of every day I will.

  I push to my feet and head back out down the hallway, grateful that for one more day, I can still protect the one thing no one has been able to take from me.

  ~*~*~*~

  NOW - Pippa

  My front door swings open and half the Joker’s Wrath boys come tearing in. Well, when I say half, I mean Maddox, Krypt, Mack and their ladies. They all stop when they see Tyke and I sitting on the couch. Tyke is still half-naked, and I have no doubt my hair is a mess. I’m currently sprawled over Tyke’s bare chest after rubbing his legs and giving him some pain medication.

  Maddox steps forward as I scramble up and unsteadily get to my feet. “What the hell is goin’ on?” he demands.

  “None of your business,” Tyke says, sitting up and groaning as he does.

  “None of my business? She’s my sister-in-law and you’re here half-naked with her after I’ve given you direct orders to stay the fuck away from her.”

  He what?

  I turn to him and his eyes flash to mine.

  “Maddox,” I whisper. “You told him to stay away from me?”

  “Course I fuckin’ did, Pippa. He’s no good for you.”

  “Don’t you think that’s my choice to make?” I say, finding my voice.

  “No, I don’t. I know them better than you ever will. You’re too good for this rough life.”

  “And my sister isn’t?”

  He flinches and his eyes grow cold. “She hasn’t lived the life you have.”

  Here. We. Go. Again.

  I’m so tired of this. I feel Tyke come up behind me, but I don’t stop. I step forward and look up at Maddox, glaring into his eyes. “Because of my life, you’re saying I don’t get a say so in who I get to be with?”

  “Yeah, that’s what I’m fuckin’ saying. We saved you. Pulled you from whatever twisted shit was goin’ down there. You don’t deserve to be hauled up in more twisted shit. Your sister can handle it. You can’t.”

  “And why is that?” I yell, making his eyes go wide with shock. “Because I’m so fragile? Because I’m just little broken Pippa? Is that it, Maddox? You think I can’t look after myself? You think I’m going to let someone push me around and be some . . . some . . . fucking pushover?”

  “Pippa,” Santana whispers, her eyes wide.

  “No, Tana,” I say, turning to her. “I’m tired of it. I get it, okay? I’m fragile, I’m quiet, but I am not incapable of living. If I want Tyke, I’ll have Tyke. This life doesn’t scare me—not after what I’ve endured. You don’t get to choose for me anymore. I’m not a little girl.”

  Tears burst to her eyes and she whispers, “I never said you were.”

  “No, but you’re standing by like the rest of them,” I say, waving a hand around the room. “And letting them tell me what to do, because you don’t honestly believe I’ll ever be normal again. And maybe I won’t be, but it’s still my life. It’s still my choice.”

  She studies me and her eyes look pained. That kills me, but before I can say anymore Tyke steps forward, getting in Maddox’s face.

  “You don’t get to come in here and speak to her like she’s five, Maddox.”

  “Back down,” Maddox growls.

  “No. She’s my lady and I won’t be backin’ down anytime soon.”

  “You’ve done enough to piss me off in the last few days, Tyke. Don’t add to it.”

  Tyke snorts. “I did nothin’ you haven’t already done yourself.”

  Maddox’s jaw tightens and Krypt steps forward, putting a hand on his arm. “Not now.”

  I stare at the two of them, and know I have to step in or a fight is going to break out. I take a hesitant step in between them and look up at Maddox. He tears his eyes from Tyke and looks down at me. I place a hand on his massive chest and his jaw tics. “I know you care about me.” I look around the room. “I know you all care about me. But I need to take my own life in my hands now, and I need to create my own path. You don’t get to choose who I love, or who I marry, or where I live, or what it is I do. I love you all for caring, but you need to step back.”

  Maddox stares at me for long moments, then he looks up at Tyke.

  “If it wasn’t for the fact that she has a valid point, I’d put you on your ass. You hurt her, Tyke, I’ll gut you.”

  I turn to Tyke in time to see him nod. I step back and look to Santana, who is crying. I walk over and wrap my arms around her. “You’ll always be my sister, you’ll always fight for me, but Tana, you have to let me go.”

  “Oh Pippi,” she says, wrapping her arms around me. “It’ll never be easy to let you go.”

  “No, but you deserve the freedom as much as I do.”

  She holds me tight and we stand like that for a long moment. Then I hear a soft voice break through the silence. “Ah, sorry to interrupt.”

  Everyone turns to see Belle standing at the door, holding Immy’s hand. She stares at the bikers with big eyes, and when she notices me, she gives me a look that’s asking if she needs to ring the police. I smile. “Hey, Belle. I didn’t exactly want you to meet them like this, but I want you to meet my family. The Joker’s Wrath MC.”

  Belle’s eyes go huge as she takes in the men.

  “Everyone,” I continue, “this is my new housemate, Belle, and her daughter, Immy.”

  There’s a chorus of hellos, and Belle lamely waves before walking over to me. Immy charges over to Maddox, unafraid, and looks up at him. “Is your bike the red one?”

  He smiles and kneels down in front of her. “Nope, the blue one. Do you like bikes?”

  She nods.

  “Have you ever been on one?”

  “No,” she says. “I don’t have a daddy to take me.”

  I look up to see Belle’s face drop. She looks away and my heart breaks for her.

  “Come on, Immy,” she says. “Let’s go and get you showered.”

  Immy smiles at Maddox, before running towards her mother. Belle looks to me and I walk over, touching her arm. “Are you okay?”

  She nods. “Yeah, I’m great. I won’t get in your way while your, ah, family are here.”

  “Listen, I might be away for a few days, but you’re more than welcome to come and go as you please.”

  “Where are you going?” she asks.

  “Just away with them all.”

  She nods, not looking at all suspicious. “Okay, well make sure you fill me in on all this before you go.” She grins.

  I hug her and when she’s gone, I walk quickly towards Maddox. “Is she safe here?”

  He nods, watching her go. “No one knows you’re part of the club—at least, I don’t think they do. If they do, they know what you look like. They won’t mistake her for you. I would highly doubt the people we are having problems with know where you live or even that you mean something to Tyke. She’s safe, but I’ll put a watch on the house anyway, just to be sure.”

&nb
sp; “I thought we were all going into lockdown?”

  Maddox grins. “A watch isn’t necessarily a biker, honey.”

  “Oh.”

  Tyke steps up behind me, curling his arm around my shoulder. “Is any of this necessary? Pippa has a job. She can’t lose it.”

  I nod and Maddox glances at Tyke. “I will cover it with her boss; she will have a job when she returns.”

  In other words, he’ll threaten my boss.

  Things are about to get interesting.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  THEN – Pippa

  He’s gone.

  He wasn’t in the fields when I went back down, and I was quickly tied up before I had the chance to search. I worked all the day, and when it was finished, he wasn’t in the room either. I sat waiting and waiting, but he didn’t come back. Rainer, my only friend, the only person I’ve ever trusted, has gone.

  There’s a desperation in my heart that I can’t remove. I’ve asked, I’ve frantically pushed the other slaves for information. No one knows. No one really cares. He meant nothing to them. Nothing. To me he was the world. I wonder if the guards have locked him up. Maybe Artreau took him out for a job.

  When I ask them, they won’t tell me. They simply stare at me as if I’m losing my mind. I cry out, I beg, I scream and pound my fists on the door, but they ignore me as if I’m no more than a fly buzzing around their ears. I don’t give up. I cry out until finally, they call Artreau. He arrives at the door, swinging it open and staring down at me as if I’m a pitiful child.

  “Why are you screaming? You’re annoying everyone who can hear you. Cease, or I’ll make you cease.”

  “Where is he?” I cry. “What did you do to him, you monster?”

  It’s only now that I notice Artreau’s face is bruised and battered. God, has something awful happened. Has it? Oh God.

  “Who?” Artreau demands.

  “Rainer! Where is he? What did you do?”

  Artreau shrugs. “I have no idea what happened to the insolent little fool. As far as I’m concerned, he was a waste of my space. Now, stop your screaming or I’ll give you something to scream about.”

  With that, he slams the door. I pound my bruised fists against it over and over until I slump with exhaustion. Then I cry for my friend. I don’t know what happened to him, but whatever it was he’s no longer here and that can’t be a good thing. My body shakes and I curl into a tiny ball, wailing, unable to hold back the agony.

  I lie on the floor for two days. No one can move me. The guards leave me there. I wait for him. I wait and wait but he doesn’t come. He’s not coming back—with each passing hour I know this. My Rainer is gone and without him, I’m broken. I don’t have the strength to keep fighting. I don’t have the strength to care.

  Without him, I’m nothing.

  I’ve lost the only thing worth fighting for.

  I lose the last piece of my heart that day, and every day after I sink further and further into myself until there’s nothing more than an empty shell left.

  The last traces of Pippa are now gone.

  ~*~*~*~

  NOW - Pippa

  “What is this place?” I ask Santana as we pull into a compound surrounded by a barbed wire fence.

  There’s a cabin and a few large sheds right in the middle of the mountains. If you didn’t know it was here, you wouldn’t be able to find it.

  “This is where they hide out when they aren’t safe at the club. Not many people know about this; it’s secluded. It’s been damaged quite a bit, but over the last few years Maddox has brought it back up to scratch.”

  “And we have to stay here with the entire club?”

  Santana grins. “Mostly, they take it in turns. Some will go back and forth from the compound and keep an eye out, but yes, most of them will be here.”

  Great.

  Just great.

  The last of the bikes rumbles in behind us, and then Maddox padlocks the massive gate. Stuck like prisoners. That very thought has my heart clenching. I don’t like not having a choice. I don’t like not being free when I need to be. I push the feeling down when a hard body comes up behind me, wrapping solid arms around my middle.

  Tyke.

  “This is home for the next week or so. What do you think?”

  “If I’m with you I’ll be fine,” I whisper.

  “We need alcohol,” Krypt grunts, walking past me. “How are we goin’ to get that up here discreetly?”

  “I might know how,” I say before thinking it through.

  Everyone turns to me and I realize I’m about to tell them all about Rainer, only I haven’t told Tyke about Rainer.

  “Ah . . .” I swallow. “I have a friend. He was with me when I was a slave. Turns out he lives here. I found him last week. He owns a bar. He’s trustworthy and will bring us supplies, if I ask.”

  “Oh,” Santana claps. “I forgot about Rainer!”

  “Rainer?” Tyke says stiffly from behind me.

  I turn, looking up at him. “I have a lot to tell you.”

  His eyes scan my face. “Seems you do.”

  “Call your friend,” Krypt orders, walking up the front steps. “Tell him I’ll pay double if he hurries it up.”

  It’s only adults up here. Everyone has handed their kids off to family members for safety. If there’s a raid, the last thing they want is for kids to be involved. I understand that. It feels empty without the kids, and I think everyone is feeling it. We all head inside, and Tyke holds my hand tightly.

  “We’ll sleep down here,” he says, pulling me down the hall.

  We get into a room right at the end, and step in, locking the door behind us. There’s a double bed in the middle, and an old sofa, but that’s about it. I turn to Tyke and he’s staring down at me, his eyes studying my face.

  “Tell me about this guy.”

  “He was a slave too,” I say, walking over and sitting on the bed. “He was my friend—the only person I had. I adored him. He left a while before me and I didn’t know what had happened to him. I asked Maddox to search for him and it turns out he lives here.”

  “Maddox helped you?” Tyke says tightly.

  I study his face. “Don’t be mad at him, Tyke. It wasn’t his fault. He was helping me because I asked.”

  “And you didn’t think to come to me?”

  His voice is hard, and I realize I’ve hurt him.

  “I’ve upset you. I’m sorry,” I say, staring at my lap.

  He sighs and sits beside me. “You want me to understand you, little one, but I don’t know a thing about your past. How am I supposed to move on from the image you’ve created, when you won’t fill me in?”

  I turn to him. “I plan on filling you in, Tyke. Just ask what you want to know.”

  He pulls me into his arms and we fall back onto the bed. “Just start from the beginning, darlin’. We’ve got all night.”

  And so I tell Tyke my story.

  From start to finish.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  THEN – Pippa

  The next ten months go by slowly, but that doesn’t take the memory of Rainer from my mind. I think about him every second, wondering if he’s alive, wondering what happened to him. I’ve been paired up with an old man who doesn’t speak, at all. The days drag and I no longer communicate with anyone. I do my job, I sleep, I eat and then I start all over again. There’s nothing left for me anymore.

  If there weren’t slight hope that Santana might still be alive, I’d probably end it.

  Today is extra hot, and the sun is sitting on the horizon, threatening to set early even though I know it won’t. My legs are aching from a hard days work, and today I’m chained up to three other people. I don’t know why, I don’t even care. All I can think about is how I’m going to survive the rest of my life in this hellhole. My chest no longer clenches at the thought. I’ve shut down. There are no emotions left in my soul.

  The sounds of a gunshot and yelling alert me to the fact that something
is happening. I lift my head and realize we’re quite far from the house and at this angle, I can’t see it through the line of trees. There’s shouting and some more shooting. I don’t know what’s happening, but things like this have happened before around here. Artreau is forever in trouble with someone.

  I focus back on my work, and the shouting and gunfire become more intense. The older man next to me stops again and mutters, “What’s going on?” It’s the first time I’ve heard him speak, so I turn again and stare back out. There’s a large field to my left and I can see two people running through it. One is a man, the other is a woman. I can’t see them clearly from here, but they’re not slaves. Or maybe they are new slaves and are trying to escape. Good luck to them.

  The man, who looks a little like a Native American, turns and shoots his gun a few times in the direction of the house. I watch curiously as the girl, who also has dark hair, turns and stares in our direction. Then suddenly she’s running towards me. Panic seizes my chest and I try to take a step back, but there’s nowhere to go. I don’t want her getting me into trouble; if she’s trying to escape she needs to do it on her own watch.

  As she gets closer, her face becomes clearer. My heart starts pounding, and I’m sure I must be seeing things, because that girl looks a whole lot like Santana. I know it’s not her, though. She wouldn’t be able to find me. She’s probably not even alive. I stare anyway, watching as she gets closer and closer. Her eyes meet mine and I know, I know before she rasps my name, that it really is her.

  Santana.

  My sister.

  “T-T-T-T-Tana?”

  My knees start to shake as she slams into me, wrapping her arms around my tiny body. “Pippi, oh my God, my Pippi.”

  I’m dreaming. It’s a dream.

  I start to cry, big, loud, pained sobs.

  I stare in shock, tears running down my face as the man appears at her side, still shooting behind him. He growls something at her and she frantically tells him who I am. He aims the gun at my feet and shoots the chains connecting me to the other slaves. Santana takes me and starts pulling me close again. The rest of the slaves start to beg, wanting to be freed to. The Native American man doesn’t give her a choice, and suddenly I’m scooped into his arms and we’re running.