Brazen

by M. Malone

  “Sorry. It just looks really good. I’m starving.” He smiled a slow, panty-melting grin at my response.

  I turned my back on him and concentrated on the food. The cast iron skillet sizzled as I dropped in a generous amount of butter. Resolved to pay close attention so I didn’t burn anything, I did my best to ignore Oskar’s extremely obvious presence behind me, although it wasn’t easy. The man seemed to have no idea how to sit quietly and instead spent the time offering his opinion on what I was cooking, suggesting what I should cook next time, and asking when it would be done. Luckily, it cooked up fast once I took the skillet from the stovetop to the oven.

  “Can you grab some plates?” Maybe if I gave him something to do it would be easier to ignore how happy it made me to share a meal with him.

  Five minutes later, we sat down to a steaming, cheesy vision.

  “Seriously, this looks amazing. I’m not even sure what it is, but I can get down with fancy-ass scrambled eggs.”

  “It’s frittata. It’s baked eggs, cheese, ham and usually I throw in bacon too, but I didn’t want it to take any longer than necessary.”

  Oskar took a huge bite and then paused. After a long moment, he gulped the food down, but it was obviously difficult.

  “What? Is something wrong with it?” Hurriedly, I took a bite of my own and almost spit it out. “Great. I left out the salt, pepper and the garlic. I suck today.”

  “No, it’s not bad. Look—” Oskar took another bite, and I almost laughed as he struggled to keep his face neutral while he chewed.

  I stood and picked up both plates. “No way am I going to let you eat this. Friends don’t let friends eat bad food.”

  His chuckle followed me into the kitchen. I had seen sandwich fixings in the fridge earlier, so a turkey and cheese would have to do. While I pulled out the meat and cheese, Oskar disappeared into the walk-in pantry and came back with a loaf of bread.

  “Sandwiches are one of my staple foods.”

  I appreciated that he wasn’t making a big deal out of me ruining dinner. Or that the reason I’d ruined it was because I was so distracted by him. Or more specifically, by the sexy as hell sounds he made.

  By the time we finished making our sandwiches, it was quiet in the penthouse. The lights were out in the main living area, and I could hear voices but only distantly.

  Oskar must have seen my curiosity because he pointed to the hallway we’d come from. “My room is right next to Matthias and Gemma. Rafe and his wife are downstairs, too. Jonas and JJ are upstairs on the same level with Noah and Lucia.”

  I took another bite of my sandwich as I thought about the unique accommodations. It was a little strange, in my opinion, to live where you worked. There was no way I’d want to pull out a pillow in my office at Livingston. If I couldn’t escape the work stress and go back to my quiet space and relax, I’d probably have an ulcer by now.

  “What do you do when you just want to be alone?” I whispered, not wanting anyone to overhear us.

  Just the fact that I felt compelled to whisper was a problem. I couldn’t live in a place long-term where I felt like every word I said could be overheard.

  Oskar finished the last bite of his sandwich, chewing noisily. “Everyone here is pretty cool. We respect each other and give each other space. Plus, we’re all trained fighters. Not the kind of people you’d want to bother, you know? If I went to Matthias’s room after hours, he’d open the door with a dagger at my throat. Hell, his wife probably would too.”

  “Wow. I guess I won’t go exploring then.” We laughed together as we cleaned up the mess we’d made and put all the food away.

  “No, it’s not like that. Plus, you don’t have to worry about running into anyone after hours now. Everyone here is all married and boring now, so they’re all in bed by like ten thirty at night.”

  We both startled when JJ stuck her head around the door into the kitchen. “Goodnight, Hailey!”

  Then she grinned at Oskar and put up her middle finger. “And we go to bed early because we’re boning, jackass.”

  I cracked up. “I have a feeling it’s never a dull moment around here.”

  Oskar

  Now that everyone had cleared out, it was so quiet it was almost eerie. I followed Hailey into the living room. I was glad she hadn’t suggested going back to the bedroom yet. It was going to be a real challenge to sleep knowing that she was just down the hall in my room, surrounded by my scent.

  Clearly, I was a glutton for punishment since there were two guestrooms open that I could have put her in. But no. I’d wanted her in my space, surrounded by my things. It did something to me seeing her in there.

  Something that was only going to make it harder to let her go again when this was all over.

  Hailey sat on one end of the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest. “I’m not sleepy yet. Do you think we could watch a movie now?”

  I picked up the remote from the side table. When the TV turned on, it was still signed in to Netflix, so I gave her the remote so she could do a little channel surfing. Even though she seemed to be handling the sudden address change well so far, she also had the prickliness that was usually a precursor to a client losing their shit.

  Most people underestimated how hard it was to allow someone else to judge what was safe for you. Hailey was fiercely independent, so having someone else coming in to upend her life had to be traumatic.

  I took a seat on the couch next to her, leaving plenty of space between us. Hailey finally settled on an episode of some drama that I’d never seen before. After the first five minutes, I’d already given up on paying attention, mostly because Hailey had squirmed her way across the couch and was now cuddled up on my arm.

  The scent of her wrapped around me, and for the first time all day I let out a breath of relief. It was probably a bad idea to spend time hanging out with her, but you couldn’t have moved me just then with a crowbar.

  Hailey laughed suddenly, and I glanced down at her. She froze when our eyes connected. Then her hand reached up and touched my cheek.

  Kissing her would be a bad idea. I was ashamed to say that I had the thought and still did it anyway. Because in that moment, I wasn’t thinking about the future or the past, only the two of us and how much I wanted her.

  Hailey made a soft whimpering sound that went straight to my dick before climbing in my lap. If it was bad before when she was just sitting next to me, it was a million times worse to have all her curvy softness in my lap, her breasts rubbing against my chest. She wasn’t trying to go anywhere, but I put one hand gently on the back of her head to hold her in place, relishing the soft wildness of her curls flowing over my fingers.

  “Oh my God,” she whispered when my lips migrated down to her ear.

  The last time I’d heard that sound, we’d been in a Vegas suite, tangled in the sheets and sweaty after several rounds of lovemaking. It was like being suspended in time, caught between then and now, because the fire between us was still there.

  Any thoughts I’d had about just being friends or moving on from the past were immediately turned to ashes against the sparks flying between us.

  “Take this off.” Hailey fumbled with the edge of my T-shirt, tugging it upward, but it was caught on my arms since I was still holding her.

  All she could see and access was my torso, but that seemed to be enough to occupy her as her lips made their way down my neck and then skipped over the fabric to land on one of my exposed nipples.

  “Ah, holy shit.”

  Her giggle vibrated over my skin, sending another wave of sensation that followed the amazing feeling of her little tongue lashing a path down toward…

  “Wait. Shit, we can’t do this.”

  Hailey groaned, her mouth still busy hovering right over the waistband of my pants. “But I want to. I don’t want to be alone tonight. I’m tired of being alone.”

  The alpha male inside me roared at her words, ready to throw her over my shoulder caveman style and spend t
he rest of the night inside her. But despite what everyone seemed to think of me, I was capable of more than just kicking ass and making dirty jokes.

  “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. At least this time you didn’t leave me to wake up the morning after wondering what I did wrong.”

  “Hailey. It wasn’t like that.”

  “What was it like then? Because I remember it pretty well. And it sucked. You really hurt me, Oskar.”

  The hurt in her voice and in her eyes killed me. I’d never wished more that I could go back and change the past. And not just what had happened between us, but all the bad decisions I’d made prior to that which had caused me to be a danger to her.

  “I’m so sorry about that. But there were things going on that I didn’t want to touch you. Bad things. I haven’t always been a good person, baby.”

  “I can’t pretend I understand what you mean about bad things. But if you had to leave to keep me safe and to keep yourself safe, then I forgive you.”

  “You shouldn’t. I don’t deserve a girl like you, Hailey.”

  “Why would you say that?”

  “Being with a guy like me would only put you in danger. And I never want to do to you what my father did to my mother. Being with him made her a target to his enemies. He put us all in danger, and it was fucked.”

  She looked surprised, but then she did the last thing I expected. She hugged me. Her arms wrapped around my back and squeezed.

  The rush of emotion caught me off guard. It wasn’t like I’d never been hugged before. Our crazy gang was probably more touchy-feely than most with lots of handshakes, bro hugs, and pounds on the back. Lucia in particular was prone to random bouts of affection, more than her husband appreciated.

  But this was different. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I wasn’t just an afterthought, or loved because of my relation to someone else. I was cared about as a part of Blake Security and that was great, but with Hailey, she cared about me for me. It wasn’t because of my job or anything else.

  She just cared for me. And it healed something inside me that I didn’t even know was broken.

  “I’m sorry about what happened to your mom. I’m sure your father didn’t mean to put any of you in danger,” Hailey whispered.

  Still reeling from the onslaught of emotion her hug had caused, I knew that I needed to put some distance between us. She had a way of not only breaking down my walls but preventing me from putting up new ones.

  “He didn’t care enough to keep us safe. If he’d really loved us, he’d have stayed away. That’s why I’ll never get married. The best way to tell a woman I love her is to stay away from her.”

  She looked stricken. But I didn’t soften my words or hold her close. It was time for this thing between us, whatever it was, to end.

  “I’m going to my room now. If you need anything, just text me.”

  Hailey looked defeated but nodded. “I’m sorry for asking so many questions. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.”

  “I shouldn’t have told you all that stuff.”

  “Why not? We’re friends, aren’t we?”

  “No, Hailey. We aren’t friends. This thing tonight, it should have never happened. And it can’t happen again. This is over.”

  Even though I meant every word, the hurt look in her eyes followed me as I left the room.

  This was going to be a long night.

  11

  Hailey

  I chewed on the end of my pen, not hearing anything going on around me. It was the middle of the afternoon, and I should have been completely invested in this project-update meeting. But instead, the scene from the day before yesterday was playing over and over again in my head.

  This is over.

  Not exactly what any girl wanted to hear after a hot make-out session, right?

  Apparently, he’d meant it too, since one of the other guards had taken me to work yesterday and Dylan had come for me today.

  Someone passed by on my right, and I snapped to attention. Jerry, one of our top scientists, was doing a presentation on the newest sample fragrances his team had been working on. I needed to get all this stuff with Oskar out of my head so I could focus.

  Everything was almost ready for the launch of my signature perfume honoring my mother, but that wasn’t the only thing on my plate. As Vice President of Product Development, I always needed to be a hundred steps ahead of our production schedule. Crafting the perfect fragrance took time, testing, tweaking and agonizing. Lots of agonizing on my part because I wouldn’t approve any perfume unless I was sure it was absolutely perfect.

  This was my domain. I was fantastic at my job and always in complete control. Some stupid squabble with a guy who wasn’t even my boyfriend was not going to throw me off.

  Except it was throwing me off, damn it. My shoulders sagged as Jerry sat down, and I realized I hadn’t heard anything he’d said. I was completely off my game, and it was entirely due to one big, sexy, overgrown Viking.

  “Excellent work, everyone.” I forced myself to smile and look alive as we all filed out of the conference room to go back to our desks.

  My people worked hard, and I didn’t want my personal life to impact anyone here. I’d always kept those two areas of my life separate for good reason, and I’d never questioned it before. The only reason I was suddenly unsure about things was Oskar forcing his way into my life and reminding me of everything I’d been missing.

  Bastard.

  “What did you think, Hailey? That this would end with a happily ever after and he’d marry you? Yeah right.”

  “Still mumbling to yourself, I see. Speak up, Hailey.”

  I almost stumbled over the doorjamb to my office at the sound of my mother’s voice. “Mom! I didn’t know you were coming in today. I would have postponed the staff meeting if I knew you were here.”

  My mother stood, brushing some nonexistent lint off her dress. It wasn’t even lunchtime, but my mother looked like she was going to a cocktail party. Miriam Livingston didn’t know the meaning of dressing down.

  “No need. I was just passing through.”

  She held her arms open, and I grasped her gently, trying not to react to the heavy smell of mint on her breath. My stomach sank. I really hoped she hadn’t been drinking this early. Normally I would pretend I didn’t notice, but my mom just got out of rehab for the second time and we were really hoping it worked this time.

  “Where were you before this? Did you have breakfast out?”

  I thought I’d been so subtle, but my mother frowned. “Yes, I had breakfast out. With water. I just used mouthwash before I came here, that’s all.”

  “Sorry, Mom. I just worry about you, that’s all.”

  She shrugged that off and instead glanced behind us toward the door. “I’m worried about you with everything that’s happened. But I guess I shouldn’t now that you have your very own guard dog at the door. You know I like them young.”

  “Mom,” I warned, hoping that for once Dylan wasn’t paying attention.

  He’d been giving me a lot of space all day and hadn’t said a word about why he was here this morning instead of Oskar. Although I was sure Oskar hadn’t told him the real reason he didn’t want to be around me was because I’d thrown myself at him.

  The memory of how things had gone down would haunt me until I was in the grave. In my defense, I’d been tired and feeling vulnerable. Or at least that was what I was telling myself.

  It was the worst cliché, the rich girl falling for her bodyguard because he was buff and available, and she didn’t have time to date anyway.

  Ugh, how embarrassing.

  Did he think I was the type to throw myself at random men all the time? Considering how we’d met, me being drunk off my ass alone in Vegas, he must think I was completely irresponsible. Something about Oskar seemed to bring out my most impulsive qualities. It was like I lost my head looking at him and then did all the things I knew better than to do.

  So in
a way, it was really all his fault. Yeah, I liked the sound of that much better.

  “You’re just like your father. Always worried about what people think.” Mom sat down in the chair in front of my desk, watching as I searched over the surface for my planner.

  “Did you see a small planner when you came in? It’s always on the right corner of my desk.”

  I tried not to let on how much it was bothering me that I couldn’t find it. Even though everything was on my digital calendar, I liked the routine of writing things out in a paper planner. I’d been doing it since college, and it made me feel confident and in control to see all my goals and plans written out in my own handwriting.

  When I looked up again, my mom was watching me with a slightly sad expression.

  “I worry that I’ll come see you one day and you’ll be still glued to this desk with one foot in the grave. You have to let go and live sometimes because there’s no reset button on life.”

  “Mom, are you okay?”

  Before she could answer, my father appeared in the doorway. “Miriam, I didn’t know you’d be here today.”

  There was a long moment of uncomfortable silence before my mom stood. My father walked over to her and placed a perfunctory kiss on her cheek while I tried not to watch.

  It always made me sad to see my parents interact. They were cordial in the way you were to distant relatives you didn’t like very much. But at least they were polite. There were rarely any dramatic arguments or fights in the Livingston household. No, my parents had simply agreed that they existed best apart from each other, and my father had moved into a different wing of the house. Very civilized.

  And just as depressing.

  Probably because a secret part of me worried that maybe I was just as cold and emotionless as they seemed to be. Was that my fate, to live alone in a separate part of the house from whomever I eventually married? Staying together not because we were in love but only because divorce was considered so unseemly?