Matters to Me: A Football Romance (The Hart Series Book 4)

by M. E. Carter

  “He said that? Is that why he was freaking about her being in the hospital?”

  Ah. Got it. That’s Jaxon. This realization also makes sense to my foggy brain, which is slowly starting to catch up to where I am and what I’m doing here.

  Lauren’s room. Taking care of her because she’s hurt. Bad.

  “Must be. I thought it was sweet but didn’t expect to come home to this.”

  “I can hear you, ya know,” I grumble and roll over on my back, making sure the covers stay over my lower half to cover my morning wood. Doesn’t matter that it’s Jaxon’s girlfriend, who is off-limits even if I was interested in her. That part of me has a mind of its own.

  “Good,” Jaxon says at a more normal volume. “Then maybe you can explain what’s happening here.”

  Raising my head up to see what they’re going on about, I look through half-lidded eyes at the situation around me.

  “Huh. I forgot about that,” is my only answer as my head falls back onto the pillow. I’m exhausted.

  It was a rough night, which I anticipated but living through it is still hell. Lauren woke up just before four in a lot of pain. Unfortunately, it wasn’t time for her meds and the doctor had warned me that with her small stature, the times couldn’t be fudged.

  So, I did the best I could helping her get in different positions, hoping to relieve some of the pain and discomfort. After much maneuvering, she ended up on her left side, pillow between her legs. It means the break isn’t propped up as much as we’d like, but it helped a little.

  The other thing that helped was rubbing her head. I don’t know if it was from comfort or distraction, but either way it helped her relax enough to power through until I could give her another pain pill. At that point, I practically needed one myself from keeping my arm in a weird position, so a little redecorating was necessary if I was going to keep up the movement until the meds kicked in and she fell back asleep.

  And that’s how Annika’s bed was moved right next to Lauren’s and I ended up asleep, holding her hand. Not that I’m going to explain that to my best friend and his girlfriend. I have questions of my own I want answered.

  “What time is it, anyway?” I rub my face and take a breath, pushing myself to a sitting position.

  “Almost eight.”

  “Damn,” I grumble, swinging my legs onto the floor. “No wonder I’m tired. Did they run the tests?”

  Annika makes herself busy pulling things out of drawers as Jaxon pulls out a desk chair to sit in.

  “Yep. Took them for fucking ever to let me go. This is why I didn’t want to go in the first place.”

  “Bullshit,” Annika blurts out. “If you had planned ahead weeks ago, the offices would have been open, and they wouldn’t have kept you overnight in a hospital while Dr. Bates called in a favor to get the results faster.”

  Jaxon opens his mouth to respond but catches the look on my face first and wisely thinks better than to argue with her. I’m on her side with this one, and he knows it. But I still want to know, no… need to know what’s going on.

  “But they let you come home. That’s a good thing, right? They didn’t have to admit you so that means everything is manageable?”

  Jaxon nods, a small smile crossing his face. “Yeah. I’m in the clear.”

  I clench my fists and raise them up in victory. This is the best news I’ve had all week. “That’s fucking awesome, man. What a relief.”

  Annika shuts the drawer and turns around. “Wait. You’re not totally in the clear. Your iron levels are low. Too low. We still have to get those under control.”

  “Your iron?” I ask, confused. I wasn’t expecting that.

  “Yeah, just another lovely long-term side effect of having leukemia and a bone marrow transplant. Isn’t it great surviving cancer just to deal with this shit for the rest of my life?”

  I hold up my hands and cock my head. “I mean, you’re not dead.”

  “I know.” Jax runs a hand down his face, probably exhausted from pulling an all-nighter like mine. “Trust me, I’m grateful that’s all this is. It’s just irritating sometimes, and I’m exhausted so I’m not in the best mood.”

  “Understandable. So, what do we do now? Anything?”

  “He got a prescription for some super-powered iron pills we have to pick up later today,” Annika says running her hands through Jaxon’s hair. He looks like he’s about to fall asleep from the ministration. “And he’s on a strict diet to load up on more iron-rich foods and avoid food that blocks iron absorption.”

  “I have to avoid cheese, man,” he whines. “What kind of diet makes a man not eat cheese?”

  “The kind that is going to help you feel better and not collapse on the field in front of your girlfriend,” Annika chides, to which Jaxon smirks.

  He grabs her hand and kisses her knuckles as she gazes at him. Sometimes they’re like a fucking Hallmark movie and make me want to puke. Other times, like when he’s dodged a huge life-altering bullet, I have no choice but to recognize she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

  “Why don’t you go take a shower so we can head back to my place, babe? I’m so ready for a nap.”

  “Now how did I know you guys were going to commandeer our room?” I remark as I stretch my arms over my head, relieving some of the tension in my shoulders. “Damn good thing I swung by and got some clothes for myself.”

  Annika smirks and heads to the en-suite bathroom. But, of course, she can’t leave without taking one last dig at me. “Sure. That’s why you got clothes. It has nothing to do with the fact that suddenly there is a queen-sized sleeping space in my room partially occupied by you.”

  And, of course, she closes the door before I can defend myself. Not that I’m going to. What’s happening between Lauren and me is between us. That doesn’t stop Jaxon from staring me down as soon as his girlfriend is out of eyesight, though.

  “Did they give you a list of foods or something?” I ask, hoping he’ll take the bait. “Anything in particular we should load up on?”

  “Nu-uh,” he says, refusing to play along. “I wanna know what’s going on here first.” Pointing back and forth at Lauren and me, there’s no pretending I don’t know what he’s referring to. But it still feels fragile and new. I have no desire for him to get in my head while I’m still getting my feet wet, so to speak.

  “None of your fucking business.” Standing up, I cross the room and grab a water bottle out of the fridge and toss it to him.

  He catches it with one hand, not even flinching. “It looks like you just moved into my girlfriend’s dorm room. Consider me curious.”

  “I consider you a fucking busybody.”

  He flips me the bird and cracks open the water. “And you’re fucking deflecting. The last thing I heard is you were in a fake relationship with Lauren. Then she gets hurt, you freak the fuck out, and now I walk in and you’re holding hands while sleeping next to her.”

  “So?”

  “I’m wondering what changed.”

  Downing half of my own drink, I wipe my mouth on my sleeve before answering. How do I explain how wrong I was about Lauren? About how I missed all her awesome personality traits simply because I was afraid of being screwed over? About how when I finally peeled back some of her layers, I found a kindred spirit in an amazing woman who is just as afraid as I am? I don’t know how to put any of that into words, and frankly, I don’t want to. Those are things I want to say to her, not to my obnoxious best friend. So, I shrug and play it off the best I can.

  “I like her. That’s all.”

  Jax looks at me for a beat longer than is comfortable. “I don’t buy it.”

  “I don’t care.”

  “I’m not judging you, Germaine. I like Lauren. She’s a little out there, but she’s good people. I’m glad you finally figured that out. Took you long enough.”

  I nod because he’s right. It took me way too damn long to see Lauren for who she is.

  Pointing at me, h
is face hardens. “Just don’t hurt her.”

  “Fuck you, man,” I say through clenched teeth. It pisses me off he’d even think that about me.

  “As long as we understand each other.”

  Pushing aside my hurt feelings because, let’s face it, he’s got a right to be weirded out by my rapid one-eighty, I move on. “Anyway,” I say deflecting again, “about your health.”

  Jaxon groans and runs a hand down his face. “You’re not going to drop this are you?”

  “Turnabout is fair play. You rag on me, I rag on you. That’s how it works. So, spill. What do I need to know about your diet?”

  He sighs and finally placates me. “Lots of leafy greens. Lots of meat and poultry. Lots of beans. It’s basically like our current diet except on steroids. And no cheese.”

  I snicker. “That really pisses you off, doesn’t it?”

  “I love cheese, man. Maybe more than I love Annika. How am I supposed to survive?”

  Out of nowhere an idea hits me. One that might be fun for all of us.

  “What if we take a cooking class?”

  He reels back, looking like I’ve lost my mind. “What the hell are you talking about? Since when do we fucking cook?”

  “Since we won’t have a dining hall cooking us three square meals a day forever,” I say, waving my hand around and ignoring his attitude. “We can go to one of those places that have the cooking work stations, and we stay for a few hours while a chef teaches us how to make a meal.” He still looks lost. I roll my eyes. “They have them at those fancy grocery stores like Whole Foods and whatever. It’s like four hours and they teach you how to make something fancy.”

  He still looks lost.

  “Do you ever watch television? Or read a book? Is your world really this small?”

  “I didn’t think so, but now I’m starting to wonder.”

  “We can take the girls.”

  Jaxon’s eyebrows creep up and his expression changes like he’s finally starting to catch on. “Like a double date?”

  “Sure. Why not? We’ll learn how to cook something healthy to help appease your girlfriend and probably your daddy.” I duck when he grabs a pencil off the desk and throws it at my head. “The girls will be happy, and we get to eat a fancy meal. Everybody wins.”

  He bobbles his head while he considers it. “Sounds kind of fun actually. Annika’s been dying to go out, but you know she’s not a partier.”

  I look over at Lauren who is still knocked out. “Not like Tiny over there can party for a while anyway. We can set it up for a couple of weeks from now. At that point, I’m sure she’ll be itching to get out. It’ll do her some good to still be active.” When I look back over at Jaxon, he’s smirking at me again. I roll my eyes in annoyance. “Do not say a fucking word.”

  He holds his hands up in defense. “I’m saying nothing. You’ll talk when you’re ready. I’m just gonna sit back and enjoy the show.”

  Picking up the pencil that happens to have rolled next to me, I launch it back at him. “This is not a show. Especially now. Let us figure this out and how it’s going to work before invading our privacy, okay? Just like I did with you.”

  “Yeah, okay fine. I get it. But you can’t blame me for not seeing this coming.”

  Looking back over at my new legitimate girlfriend who is still knocked out, my lips quirk up at the corners. “Neither did I, man. Neither did I.”

  NINETEEN

  Lauren

  “Are you sure you’re okay pushing? Why don’t you let me push for a while?”

  “I got it.”

  “Are you sure? You haven’t let me help at all.”

  “I said I got it.”

  I roll my eyes and bite back a quip, but the bickering is about to drive me up the wall.

  I love Kiersten. And I… well… really, really like Heath. But the two of them together are getting on my last fucking nerve. It’s been non-stop squabbling since Kiersten showed up for a visit yesterday like she promised.

  I was so excited when she walked into my dorm room and ran over to give me a hug. She’s always been my best friend and my rock, so having her here to distract me from my new sedentary lifestyle seemed like a great idea. My spirits lifted immediately.

  Then she saw Heath and her eyes widened. With all the reorganizing of my life, I’d completely forgotten to tell her about him.

  Fortunately, he had to get to practice which gave me ample time to catch her up. I told her all about how good he’s been to me and how many nights he’s stayed over just to give me pain meds in my sleep. I told her about his head rubs that relax me right into slumber. I even told her about the workout schedule he put together. She smiled and said she was happy for me, but I don’t think she truly understood the level of effort he has put into my care. And I don’t think she was expecting him to not relinquish control just because she showed up.

  “Okay, well, be careful around that corner,” Kiersten advises. “It’s a small space in here.”

  “It’s fine, Kiersten,” he responds through gritted teeth, and I can practically hear him biting his own tongue to keep from lashing out. I’m starting to wonder if Heath always has issues getting used to new personalities and that’s why he resists meeting new people. The only other possibility is that everyone in the world is annoying, and I don’t think that’s accurate.

  “Ohmygod, would you two quit bickering?” Finally, someone other than me loses their shit over these two. I just didn’t expect it to be Annika. She’s usually the most even-keel of all of us. “Kiersten, I know you came to help, but Heath’s got it. He’s been maneuvering around our little dorm room for weeks now. Plus, he’s big and strong and can lift her way better than the rest of us. Let the man do the physical labor. You have fun distracting Lauren with conversation.”

  I can’t see her face, but by the way Kiersten immediately shuts up, I suspect she’s stunned by Annika’s outburst. Unexpected or not, I flash Annika a grateful smile. As much as I’m glad my best friend is here, she’s disrupted our carefully crafted routine, and due to my lack of mobility, I can’t get away from the tension.

  Two weeks ago, when my second set of x-rays came back with no damage except the initial spiral fracture and small hairline fracture above it, I was rendered completely immobilized in a toe-to-thigh cast. Being that I’m not allowed to put any pressure on my leg yet, my doctor prescribed a wheelchair for me to get around. Sounds nice in theory, but not in a dorm room. And knowing my mother would turn into a helicopter mom, I declined her offer of help. Heath’s offer sounded way better.

  Every morning, he comes over to lift me out of bed and carry me to the bathroom. Fortunately, having strong quads means I can do my business by myself, but that’s where my luck runs out. Annika has to help me get dressed, which sounds more humiliating than it actually is, thankfully. Then Heath carries me to my wheelchair, which he has waiting in the hall and wheels me to class. We do a similar reverse version at night, including Annika standing in the bathroom while I shower in case I fall and can’t get up.

  It’s not convenient for anyone and takes more time than we’ve got, but it works, and I’m so grateful for their help.

  And then Kiersten came in like a Tasmanian devil, determined to take charge. I love her. I do. But she has gotten in the way of our routine more than once in her haste to be the supportive friend she’s always been.

  Honestly, I get it. Until Annika came along, Kiersten was the only true friend I had. If there was a crisis, she was the one who helped me fix it. But now I have both Annika and Heath. And if it’s something really important, Jaxon, too. It’s going to take a while for Kiersten to recognize I’ve got a much larger support system now. I just hope she doesn’t feel shoved aside because of it.

  “Kiersten, can you find out which station we’re going to be at?” I suggest, knowing that’s a task she can accomplish without driving Heath to alcoholism as a coping mechanism.

  “Sure!” She bounds away to find the instructor
while Heath carefully maneuvers us against a wall and out of the way of anyone who may accidentally run into my leg. As he situates the chair, I hear him blow out a frustrated breath.

  “Let it go, Heath,” Annika warns before I can say anything. “She’s not trying to get in the way. She’s just a little lost as to how she can best help.”

  “Shower duty,” he grumbles. “Give her shower duty. I can’t be in there anyway.”

  Annika laughs lightly. “I already did, you grump.”

  He sighs and puts his hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. I’ve noticed he does that a lot—just touches me for no reason. I didn’t expect him to be so physically affectionate when I agreed to the change in our relationship status, and I’m hoping it’s not because of my injury. I kind of like it.

  “I’m sorry. I’m just tired.”

  Grabbing his hand with mine, I look up at him. “You don’t have to stay over to make sure I get pain meds, anymore. Let Kiersten do it. You take advantage of her being here and get some sleep.”

  “You mean with Annika sleeping in my room?”

  “Hey now,” Jaxon interjects. “I take issue with that.”

  Annika rolls her eyes and lightly smacks him on the chest. “Then, it’s a good thing I’m going to stay at my place while Kiersten is here. Then no one can complain.”

  Both guys begin to protest, because they’re apparently big fucking babies who can’t sleep alone, when Kiersten rejoins us, a smile on her face.

  “I told the instructor about your leg and turns out they have a station with a lower counter we can have.”

  “Oh, that’s great!” Annika exclaims. “So how are we splitting up?”

  “Well, we could do girls and guys…” I start and am immediately interrupted when both men begin to protest again.

  “Nope.” Jaxon shakes his head vehemently. “If I have to give up my bed partner, I’m keeping her for my cooking partner.”

  Annika purses her lips at him. “What is your deal? When did you become a clingy little brat?”

  “When I looked at the calendar and realized I have one week left with you before we have to leave for the holidays. Besides, this is supposed to be a double date.”