Roommate Romance

by Maggie Riley

I managed a nod and fought to keep the tears from falling until I heard the door close behind him.

  Chapter 29

  ALLIE

  “There has been a lot of interest in the next show,” Joanna was saying. “Reagan, you mentioned that you were going to prepare some pitches for today.”

  I was sitting in her office with them for our weekly meeting, completely spacing out. I was supposed to be taking minutes as I always did, but my pen was still lying on my notebook unused. All I could think about was this morning. The expression on Shane’s face when he woke up. When he walked out. My chest hurt. My heart hurt.

  “I have a few ideas,” Reagan was saying, taking out her own notebook. Unlike mine it was battered and bent, with coffee mug stains on the cover. She flipped through it. “I think we should go a little more traditional this time.”

  I didn’t miss the way that Joanna’s eyebrow arched. Reagan put her hand up before the producer could say anything.

  “Traditional with a twist,” she amended. “Shakespeare.”

  “OK,” said Joanna, her skepticism still clear.

  “We could do one of the more well-known comedies—A Midsummer Night’s Dream or The Taming of the Shrew—and get really weird with it. Or do one of the lesser known shows—Timon of Athens or Cymbeline—and play it a little more straight.” She paused. “Or we could throw everything out the window and do a hand-puppet low-budget version of The Lion King.”

  Slowly her words penetrated my unhappy fog and I blinked at her.

  “You want to do The Lion King?” I asked, dumbfounded. “That’s completely insane. It’s got an ironclad copyright, for one, and two, it’s still playing on Broadway—a few blocks away!”

  Instead of being insulted, Reagan just smiled at me. “Just wanted to make sure you were still paying attention,” she teased.

  “Have you heard anything else we’ve been talking about?” Joanna wanted to know.

  “Uh.” I looked down at my blank page. “Besides The Lion King?” I searched my memory but still, all I was coming up with was Shane’s face, distant and closed off. Something that I had done—and couldn’t even remember how. “Something about Shakespeare?” I said lamely.

  Joanna sighed. “Let’s take a break,” she said, rubbing her temples. “I need caffeine.”

  “I thought you gave up caffeine,” Reagan noted.

  “That’s exactly why I need it,” Joanna told her with a frown. “This whole ‘attempt to live healthier’ thing is ridiculous. Who wants to live longer if you can’t have caffeine?” She stalked off.

  Reagan shrugged. “I really thought it would help her out.”

  “I don’t think less caffeine is what Joanna needs,” I noted.

  “You’re right,” Reagan agreed. “But I’m having a hard enough time getting myself laid—I don’t think I can manage that for Joanna as well.” She looked at me. “Unless Shane has some equally cute friends. Ones who are also good with their hands.”

  I had just taken a sip of my own cup of coffee and choked. Reagan pounded me on the back until I stopped coughing, and then took a seat in front of me.

  “OK, spill,” she ordered. “You’ve been distant and moody all morning, and you nearly drowned in your own coffee when I mentioned Shane. Did something happen?”

  I shook my head, even though all I wanted to do was crawl back to bed and spend the whole day with blankets pulled up over my head, ignoring the mess I had made of everything. Except that wasn’t even really an option, because if I went back to the apartment, I’d have to face Shane. And the thought of that was too painful to bear.

  Reagan was still staring expectantly at me.

  “It’s nothing,” I muttered, and she snorted.

  “You’re a terrible actor,” she noted. “Obviously something is going on between you and Shane.”

  “There was never anything going on between Shane and me,” I told her, and her eyebrows went up even higher. “Except for sex,” I amended. “But it was completely casual. Until it wasn’t.” The last part I muttered under my breath, but not softly enough for Reagan to miss it.

  “I see,” she said, understanding dawning in her eyes. “So who wanted something more?”

  I didn’t say anything.

  “Oh, honey.” Reagan reached out and patted my knee. “I’m sorry.”

  I shook my head. “No, it’s my own fault.” I stood. “I never wanted anything serious before. It’s not fair to Shane that I changed my mind. I shouldn’t have expected him to do the same.”

  Reagan chewed on her lip. “It’s strange,” she told me. “Because I could have sworn—” She glanced up at me. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah.” I thought of how closed off Shane had looked this morning. How distant he had seemed. “I’m sure.”

  Just then my phone rang, offering a blessed reprieve from an increasingly difficult conversation. Pulling my cell out of my purse, I glanced down at a number I didn’t recognize.

  “I should take this,” I told Reagan, who nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her. “This is Allison,” I answered, sitting back down in my chair.

  “Hi, Allison,” a female voice said. “This is Christina Madison. We met the other day when you came to look at the apartment on Leonard Street.”

  That was the apartment that had looked so promising, that met all of my requirements—good neighborhood, good price, good set-up. The apartment I hadn’t heard from since applying. I had assumed it had been rented to someone else.

  “How can I help you, Christina?”

  “Well.” The voice on the other end paused. “This is a little unusual, but we were wondering if you were still interested in renting the apartment you viewed.”

  My eyebrows went up in surprise. “I am,” I quickly said. “It’s a fantastic place.”

  “Oh, wonderful,” Christina told me. “The owners were very impressed with your application and would love to meet with you.”

  “Sure, that’s sounds great.” I visualized my calendar. “I have some free time this weekend.”

  “Perfect.” I could hear Christina typing on a computer. “I’ll send you an email with all the information. I look forward to seeing you again.”

  “Before you go,” I interrupted before she could hang up. “Can I ask why it’s taken so long for the owners to make a decision?”

  There was a long silence. “Well, actually, the owners liked you immediately.”

  I was even more confused. “Have they just been busy?” Real estate in New York tended to get rented quickly. I had already assumed the place had gone to someone else.

  “This is awkward,” Christina said slowly. “But when we first got your application we called your references. And all of them spoke extremely highly of you. Except for one.”

  I wasn’t sure I had heard her correctly. Who could have possibly said anything negative about me? I definitely didn’t put enemies on my reference sheet.

  “May I ask who it was?”

  “Someone named Shane Garrett.”

  I got a chill. Like an ice cream headache but worse. Way, way worse.

  “Shane said you shouldn’t rent to me?”

  I didn’t understand. Why would he have said that?

  “He just said it wouldn’t be a good fit,” Christina amended. “But then he called this morning and told us that he was mistaken and that you would be a great tenant.”

  “He called this morning?” I felt like her voice was coming from a million miles away, a weird echo in the vast confusion swirling through me. “What time?”

  “An hour or so ago,” Christina informed me.

  Right after our conversation in the bedroom. I put a hand to my forehead. I was so confused. Did Shane tell them not to rent to me because he hadn’t wanted me to move out? The thought gave my heart a little jolt, until I realized that he clearly didn’t feel that way anymore. That this morning he had changed his mind. Something had happened last night. And I still couldn’t remember.

&n
bsp; “Allison?” Christina reminded me she was still on the line. “Will we see you this weekend?”

  “Um, yeah,” I managed. “Just send me the information. I’ll be there.”

  I hung up and sat there staring off into nothing, trying to figure out exactly what had happened. And exactly how I felt about it.

  SHANE

  I was varnishing a coffee table when the door to my workshop flew open, revealing Allie—her cheeks flushed, her chest heaving—standing there with a murderous look in her eyes. She was beautiful when she was angry, a fact that I told my body to ignore, because I was pretty sure that sharing that information with Allie would probably be rewarded with something thrown at my head.

  I had no idea why she was angry. If anything, I should have been the one who was annoyed. Allie had gotten exactly what she wanted out of this thing between us. Temporary. Casual.

  “I got an interesting call today,” Allie said, coming into the workshop and slamming the door behind her.

  “Let me guess.” I didn’t stop working. “You ended up finding a local theatre that meets your high standards and you’re leaving the Hole in the Wall for them. Are you going to tell Reagan and Joanna, or just not show up when they start working on the next show?” The words came out even more harshly than I had intended.

  Her step faltered, and her angry frown flickered. But only for a moment. The hurt was gone before I could blink. Then she chose to completely ignore my comment and stalked right up to me.

  “I got a call from one of the apartments I applied for.” She put her hands on her hips.

  Shit.

  I should have known that calling the apartment building was a bad idea. But I seemed to be embracing those lately. Bad ideas.

  “Apparently, someone told them I wasn’t a good fit for their building,” Allie said through clenched teeth. “And then that same someone called them again this morning to say whoops, just kidding! Allie is a great tenant.”

  “So, did you get the apartment?” I asked, looking down at the table I was working on.

  I heard a sharp intake of air.

  “Are you kidding me?” Allie demanded. “That’s all you have to say?”

  I shrugged.

  “Yes,” she growled. “I got the apartment. If you’re lucky, no, if I’m lucky, I’ll be out of here by this weekend.”

  “Looks like everything worked out,” I said mildly, trying to ignore that sharp stabbing in my chest that surfaced when Allie said she would be gone by this weekend. A few days from now. She’d be gone. And I’d done my damn best to push her out the door as swiftly as possible because I had gotten hurt. I really was a jerk.

  There was a long pause. I told myself not to look up.

  “Just one more question,” Allie’s voice was quiet, all the anger suddenly gone.

  I couldn’t help stealing a glance, but she wasn’t looking at me. She was looking at her hands, her eyes sad and downcast. That pain in my chest increased, and I had to look away.

  “Why did you tell them not to rent to me?” she asked, practically whispering. “If you’re so eager to get rid of me, why did you tell them that?”

  Because I didn’t want her to go. Because I wanted her to stay.

  The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t get them out. Couldn’t bring myself to say it. Because I could still feel the way she had tensed in my arms when the tiniest bit of intimacy had come between us. I could still hear the fear in her voice when she asked me if this was still casual.

  It was my own fault that I fell for her, but that didn’t mean I was going to open myself up to the possibility of more pain. It was better if all this ended now. It hurt like hell, but she’d come into this with one foot out the door and we both knew it. Didn’t we?

  “OK,” Allie finally managed. “I guess that’s it.” I heard her cross the room. The door opened. “Goodbye, Shane,” she said, and she left, leaving a gust of cold air behind.

  Chapter 30

  ALLIE

  I spent the night with Josh and Emily. They were leaving the next day, and while Emily was thrilled that we were having a sleepover, I had a hell of a hard time disguising the fact that my dumb, cowardly heart was breaking into a billion pieces.

  We ordered room service and built a pillow fort on the floor to watch Disney movies on VOD. We had a popcorn and a pillow fight, and for a few moments I was able to forget how unhappy I was. Eventually Emily fell asleep against me, her little body generating a shocking amount of warmth. I snuggled her tight, hating that I was going to have to say goodbye to her tomorrow. It had been so good having her and Josh here.

  “She misses you,” Josh said quietly, clearing away the room service trays.

  “I miss her too,” I told him, getting up with her cradled in my arms.

  Guilt was warring with misery, and I understood exactly why Josh had decided to move back to Nebraska. Because at that moment, I was considering it, too. What if I did go home? Found a stage management job at a local theatre. Or just did something else. But that thought didn’t really make me feel better either. I’d have my family, sure, but was that enough?

  “Deep thoughts?” Josh took Emily from me, and I followed him into her room.

  “How is the rent in Nebraska?” I asked, thinking about how much I was going to be paying for my new one-bedroom.

  Josh raised his eyebrows as he tucked Emily into bed.

  “Any particular reason you’re asking?”

  I shrugged. “Just thought I’d explore my options. Like you.”

  He stared at me for a moment and then gestured for us to leave the bedroom. Closing the door behind him, he leaned against it, looking exhausted.

  “You’re not coming back to Nebraska, Allie,” he told me.

  “Why?” I crossed my arms. “That’s what everyone wants, you included. Isn’t it? Haven’t you been guilting me about that this whole trip?”

  “I didn’t mean it,” he said, clearly uncomfortable.

  “No?” I poked him in the chest. “If you can retreat to Nebraska to find yourself, why can’t I?”

  “Because I hate it,” he exploded.

  My eyes widened.

  Quickly lowering his voice, Josh moved away from Emily’s room, taking me with him. “I don’t want you to come to Nebraska, because I don’t want you to do what I did.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “You deserve better than that.”

  “And you don’t?” I asked him.

  He paused. “I’m not like you, Allie.” He sounded so sad. “You have plans and ambitions and I . . . had baseball.”

  “You are so much more than baseball,” I told him. “And look where my plans and ambitions got me. I’m alone and miserable.”

  “I’m guessing something happened with Shane,” he surmised.

  I nodded. “I thought, I hoped, that maybe there could be something more.” I hung my head. “He clearly didn’t agree.”

  “Then he’s a moron,” Josh told me.

  “You have to say that,” I told him. “You’re my brother.”

  He gave me a look. “I told you your hair looked terrible on prom night, remember? I don’t say things I don’t mean.” Crossing the room, he sat down on the edge of his bed. “OK, so this thing with Shane didn’t work out. You’ll find someone else. Someone better.”

  Then, like a punch in the stomach, it hit me. This thing with Shane was way, way more than I had intended. I didn’t just like him. I was pretty sure I loved him.

  “Oh shit,” Josh said, taking a look at the expression on my face.

  “Yep.” I slid down the wall to the floor. “I really screwed this up, didn’t I?”

  He came over to join me on the carpet. “Maybe,” he told me, honestly.

  I put my face in my hands and he patted me between the shoulder blades.

  “But what the fuck do I know about relationships?” he reminded me.

  “About the same as me, apparently,” I said into my hands.

  “That’s not
true.” Josh forced me to look at him. “You have good relationships in your life. You’ve got me and Emily and everyone else at home who loves you. And then you have Reagan and Joanna, right? They’re your friends. Good friends.”

  Guilt made me wince. I hadn’t been honest with them at all. This whole time I had let them believe that I was part of a team, when I had never really committed. Not to them, not to the job, not to the theatre. I had my eyes looking forward, looking past them. I had completely neglected to see what I already had right in front of me.

  “Yeah, they might be good friends to me, but I’m a pretty shitty friend to them.” I admitted, and I told Josh about the job offer and how I had been thinking of taking it.

  “So don’t take it,” he said simply.

  “It’s what I want. Or what I thought I wanted.” I put my head down again. “I don’t know what I want.”

  “I think you do.” Josh patted me again, the perfect big brother comfort. “I think you know exactly what you want.”

  Chapter 31

  SHANE

  “What is wrong with you?” Megan’s voice startled me out of the haze I had lost myself in. Looking up at her, I realized that I had completely spaced out and had been staring at my plate for god knows how long. “Did you hear anything I said?”

  “I’m sorry, sis,” I told her. “I’m a little distracted.”

  “Yeah, no duh,” she snorted. “You’ve been thinking about something else since you walked in the door.”

  We were having dinner at a small little Italian place near her NYU dorm, and all I could do was think about Allie and how much it was going to suck to go back to the apartment and see all her stuff gone.

  I had gotten a text from her on my way to see Megan saying that she was going to come by and get her things. My fingers had hovered over my phone’s keyboard wanting to ask if she was moving into her new place or staying in a hotel, or better yet, tell her I was a complete and utter moron and handled everything like a jerk and maybe she could wait at the apartment and I’d find a way to make it up to her.