“Fuck rules and fuck expectations. You are mine. Built for me in every way from this mouth,” my tongue tastes the seam of her lips, “to this.” She moans slightly as I slide my fingers deep inside her, then jerk them out to flick her clit. “Let no one convince you otherwise. You will have every single thing you desire if I have to rip the universe apart for you to get it.”
Gripping the soft skin of her naked ass between my fingers, I guide her onto my lap. “Nothing else matters if I do not have you.”
She sniffles, exhaustion and loose emotion tumbling down the bond. “You mean that?”
“I do. Now lie back, my Aciana, and allow me to show you the extent of my devotion.”
Jayla
A deep ache settles in my bones, and I shift uncomfortably on our pallet. The blankets—warm at first—are now wet and cold. Damn it. Without the collective body heat from the group, Ren and I have nothing but each other to keep the cold at bay, and judging by his light snore, his big ass body is doing just fine. Me on the other hand? Trembling and sore.
A hand snakes out, and I yelp as Ren yanks me closer. “If you are cold, speak, female. Do not lie there miserable.”
His hot skin against my cheek is like a tranquilizer, immediately soothing me. “I didn’t want to wake you. You’re so tired, especially after I…well, you know.”
Ren rubs tiny circles on my back. “You mean after you entered my mind, located the source of my gifts, and utilized them to save your own life?”
I swallow hard. “Yeah. That.”
Anxiety blooms in my chest. Ren isn’t the type of male to hide his thoughts or opinions, but we haven’t really talked about what happened, and I feel so much guilt. The rush of power, the thrum of Ren’s energy firing through my veins was addictive. And the satisfaction of putting Atiri on her ass…I’ll remember that moment for the rest of my life.
At the same time, a sense of betrayal gnaws at me, and embarrassment creeps in. Ren is the strongest of his kind, and whatever I stole from him weakened him, damn near dropped him to his knees. What kind of person takes from the male she loves? I risked his life to save my own and I feel terrible about it.
“Do not entertain thoughts of guilt. You were at no risk of ending me, and as I stated before, you took nothing I would have not willingly given. What you did cannot be named. There has never been another capable. Your strength, the sheer force of your mind further solidifies your place beside me. But you must be careful, my Aciana.”
“Careful? Why? You think I could hurt myself, or something?”
“No. If you have the ability to harness my power, you have the strength to kill us all.”
A chill runs down my spine, and I cough, startled by the revelation. “I’d die before I’d let someone use me like that.”
“You could try, but I would never allow it. Come. I should have known the cold would be too much. We will join the others now that you have begun to heal. Once I have announced my decision, you and I will return to the ship to interrogate the traitor.”
I start to argue, but Ren silences me with a kiss. “You will not leave my side. It appears I cannot trust even my own people to keep you safe.”
Ren
My Life Giver stares, eyes wide with surprise, but her discomfort changes nothing. Her decision to manipulate Atiri into challenging my mate solidified my choice. The females we saved from the auction will be distributed amongst the current clans, my Life Giver included. Serving under me has been, and always will be, an honor, and I will not continue to entertain those undeserving of the gift.
“You would really have me abandon my title?”
“I accepted your word. Perhaps next time, you will not treat another female so egregiously. My mate defeated Atiri.”
Irritation pulses through the bond as Jayla watches my Life Giver straighten her clothing.
“But I did not realize the Aciana could manipulate gifts. I thought her unfit, and was only attempting to—”
“It does not matter. You chose to underestimate my mate and you will suffer the consequences.”
Jayla stirs at my side and groans. “Let her keep the title, but she’s getting the hell off my ship.”
An intense pride hardens my cock. Strength, wisdom, and now mercy. Fuck, she is regal. And I have never wanted her more. “You are sure?” I ask, already knowing the answer. Frivolous questions are annoying, but in this case, necessary. My Life Giver, and all those listening, need to understand the kindness my mate is showing. An Illusian always keeps their word. It is through foolishness and an unchecked ego that my Life Giver abandoned her status.
Jayla nods, then walks off to sit beside Dreya and Rhia. The gathering has been the only time our people have reunited, and it has strengthened the connection that flows between us. Life Giver and child alike have been brought together, and seeing the positive impact strengthens my drive to end the injustice we have faced once and for all. I will find a way for my people to live together, no matter the cost.
They deserve the chance to live openly, and fuck if I will allow it to be kept from them.
Anger and pain linger in my Life Giver’s eyes as she drops her gaze. Her shoulders are hunched like an unruly child being scolded. Distasteful. She does not deserve empathy for the choices she made.
“For what it is worth, Aren,” she says, lifting her gaze to mine. “I give you my blessing. May no other female challenge the union you have created.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jayla
The winds and the ice are worse this time. And no matter how tightly Ren holds me, I still feel like I’m going to freeze to death. No more fucking ice planets. Ever. I don’t care if I have to deal with a constant river of tit sweat for the rest of my life, any amount of heat would be better than this.
“Only a few moments longer. Bear with me, my Aciana.”
Ren increases his speed, and ice starts to form on my lashes as the wind slaps against my goggles. It’s so cold I can’t breathe. My lips burn miserably, but I’m terrified of what will happen if I lick them. With my luck, I’d get frostbite and they’d fall off.
No, thanks.
Just when I think I can’t take anymore, I’m jolted forward as Ren comes to a stop and the hatch whines to life.
Practically jumping out of his arms, I lunge through the door and press my face against the heated floors. Oh, sweet mercy, it stings so good. Ren gives me the side eye as he hovers over me and extends a hand.
“Shut it. Don’t say a word.”
Ren chuckles. “I was only going to suggest removing your outer coverings. Perhaps you would warm faster if you were not lying in wet clothing.”
I roll my eyes and grab his hand. Ice falls to the floor as he removes the thick material wrapped around me. Without it, the heat in the room slows my trembling and, when Ren cradles me in his arms, I finally stop shaking altogether.
The light patter of footsteps draws Ren’s attention. “Illaria,” he says just as I catch sight of her stringy blond hair. She looks like she hasn’t slept for days. Probably hasn’t. Although, you would think having all the other males off the ship would have allowed her to rest, but obviously not.
She swallows hard and squares her shoulders. “He has not eaten since you left. He cannot handle another interrogation. Not yet.”
Anger courses through the bond, and Ren fists the back of my shirt. He better get himself in check, because if he releases his barbs and shreds it, I’m going to be pissed. This one actually fits well and doesn’t look like it’s made for a man.
“You are overstepping your bounds, female. Do not forget my promise and the one you made in return.”
Her lip trembles. “Please. He will not get up. Will not eat. Last night, I—he has soiled himself, Acia. He is not well.”
“That is not my concern.”
Illaria doesn’t put up much of a fight as Ren pushes past her and heads for the kitchen. Her sagging shoulders and the giant bags under her eyes speak to her exhaustio
n. And she just looks so…defeated. I can’t help but feel bad, and it really pisses me off because she made me so miserable. There’s no telling what I’d do if I were in her position.
Probably the exact same thing.
“Look, I’m sure Ren won’t hurt him too badly. He just needs to figure out what Xen knows so we can find who’s behind all this. We don’t have much else to go on.”
She shakes her head and wipes her eyes. “You cannot guarantee his survival.”
A door slams, and Illaria takes off toward the kitchen. Shit. Ren’s not wasting any time.
“Look,” I say, taking a seat at the table closest to Xen’s door. “Let me make you something to eat. You look terrible. I’ll peek in on what’s happening in a few minutes. Just…just sit down.”
As I head to the fridge, she collapses into a chair and cradles her head in her hands. “Why are you being so kind to me?” she asks in a voice so faint, I almost miss it while searching for something to eat.
“Honestly? I have no idea. I really should hate you, and I still do, a little. But I know how crappy it feels to be helpless. To want to help someone you love and not know what to do. It really sucks, and I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”
Illaria snorts, then props her head up on her hand. “Your worst enemy? Am I to assume that is me?”
Giving the container of vari in my hand a quick sniff, I grab two bowls and set one down in front of her. “You tried to kick my ass multiple times. Threatened to kill me. Tried to steal Ren and then ridiculed me when my best friend ran away heartbroken. What do you think?”
“I deserve your anger. All of it. I was jealous that Aren mated you, and I wanted what you had.” She picks up her spoon with a trembling hand. “I did not understand. What it meant to share a connection with another being. And now that I do…now that I know how it feels to need someone so badly the thought of their death makes you willing to die yourself, I am terribly embarrassed about how I acted. How I treated you. Oh, Aciana. Please, forgive me.”
I stop mid-chew and stare at her. Did she seriously just apologize? Did those words really just come out of her mouth?
“Um, okay?” I manage, nearly choking on my food. What do you even say to that?
Illaria stiffens, and there’s a hard yank on the bond a moment before I hear it.
Xen. Screaming.
Illaria jumps up and starts clawing at the door. “Acia, no! Please, stop. Do not do this! Please do not kill him.”
She’s wailing, beating on the heavy metal door like her life depends on it, and for a split second, I flash back to the containment unit and my panic as I fought to reach Ren.
My heart seizes, and I can’t stand watching her desperation anymore.
“Stop, Ren. Whatever you’re doing, stop.”
Anger and frustration pour through the bond as he pulls himself from Xen’s head. “Do not let her sniveling fool you. The male has answers we need, and I cannot break the barrier hiding them without brute force. If she is bothering you, I will silence her.”
“No. That’s not necessary.”
Snot and tears streak across the door where she’s pressed her face against the metal. She’s still banging on it, then almost as if something inside her breaks too, she slides to her knees and begins to weep.
“Illaria…”
“Please. Do not let him die. He is meant to be mine. I know he is a traitor. I know he failed and everyone despises him, but it makes no difference to me. Please…do something, Aciana.”
Her weeping grows louder by the second, and finally, with no other option, I point to the table.
“If you want my help, you have to get out of the way.” She wipes her nose and slides down the counter and onto her butt. “Ren! Let me in,” I demand, banging on the door. “Stop, damn it. I want to try something.”
Irritation explodes down our bond, and I cock a brow as the door slams open. He’s covered in sweat, bleeding from both nostrils, and there are claw marks all over his face. Xen lies just beyond, flat on his back and as pale as ice. This can’t be good.
“I do not wish to become cross with you. What is it you desire to do? We have little time, and I have yet to find a way in.”
Bursting past him, I lean down to check Xen’s pulse. “Holy crap, Ren. Is he even still alive?” The door closes behind him right in time for Illaria to start banging on it again.
“He lives. But not for long. If I cannot break through alive, then after death is my only option. As always, I will get what I need. One way or another.”
Illaria screams and bangs harder, as if she heard our words loud and clear.
“She did,” Ren says. “Illusians have excellent hearing.”
Well, that isn’t helping.
“She’s not going to stop, is she?”
He shakes his head, and I sigh. “Can you shut her up for a few minutes so I can think?”
The screaming stops, but the banging intensifies.
“If you stop, he’ll give your voice back, okay? I just need to concentrate. I’m trying to help you so please, chill out.”
Ren huffs and crosses his arms. “What is it you require, Skara?”
“I want to try to help you. Whatever I did before, at the gathering, I could do it again.”
Xen’s heavy breathing is the only sound audible for several moments before Ren responds. “How am I to penetrate the barrier using my gifts if you have taken them from me?”
Crap. I hadn’t really thought of that.
“Well, do you think I have something similar in me? Something I could find and use like I did with you?”
“I do not know, Skara. But I am willing to try to satisfy your curiosity. But only once. This task cannot be put off, and despite Illaria’s lamenting, we have no other choice. We need the information he holds.”
“Okay, so what do we do? Hold hands or something?” Ren’s lips flatten, and he quirks a brow. “Right, I’ll just close my eyes and wing it.”
As easy as breathing, I access the bond. The feel of sliding into Ren’s mind is almost second nature. The energy between us vibrates like a taut string being plucked, and when I open our connection wide, his power calls to me. It teases me with its strength, begging me to taste it. The urge is strong, and desire tightens my throat. But rather than give in, I go completely in the opposite direction, following the cord deep inside myself, searching for a similar feeling. It’s strange really; everything is so much more difficult to find when it’s right in front of you, and Ren’s impatience is distracting.
I find resistance. Where the connection between us is a smooth, watery flow, this is like trudging uphill in the mud. Thick, murky, and…exhausting. Finally! There… The energy is dimmer, a cool blue as opposed to Ren’s bright red, but it’s there, and almost as if it were waiting to be found, it flares, reaching out with its tendrils to wrap itself around me. Fireworks explode down our connection, and a rush of power thrums through my veins. Racing toward Ren’s mind, energy in hand, I collide with his gifts, but instead of taking, I give. Shoving everything toward him. Love, power—my entire essence. With a grunt, he absorbs it, his eyes flashing a deep blue, then with the force of ten-thousand men, he jackhammers his way into Xen’s mind.
The room sways as my strength fades, the drain on my energy weakening me. The sound of Ren’s voice in my head is the last thing I hear before I give into the blackness. “Rest, my Aciana. It is done.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jayla
Cruel brown eyes flash through my mind, and I jerk awake, nearly falling off the bed. My breaths are short, panic tightening my throat as I search the room for who, or what just scared the shit out of me.
There’s no one here. It was just a dream. But who’s face was that? And why was it in my head?
“Those are not your memories. But Xen’s.”
Ren’s presence in my mind flares to life, and my pulse slows. Safe. Warm. Reassuring.
The mattress beside me is cold and em
pty, and the sheets remain tucked in. He must have never come to bed last night. Speaking of which, how did I even get here?
Barely registering his footfalls before he’s at my side, Ren cups my face. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, just confused. What happened? The last thing I remember is being in there with you and Xen, and then… nothing.”
“We did it. With the boost of your strength, I unlocked his mind and retrieved his memories. Coordinates, names, and a plethora of other information Sol is pouring through now. The others are preparing to make the trek back.”
“But don’t you need to be there? To help protect them?”
Ren chuckles. “My presence is not necessary. Ragar and the other males will suffice. The beasts that roam here hunt mostly at night. Their numbers dwindle when it is light outside.”
My muscles tremble as I throw my legs over the side of the bed. I feel like I’ve been trampled by an angry horde of Illusian unmated. A steady throb pulses behind my eyes.
“You need to rest.” Ren guides me back onto the bed, and I don’t resist. I really am wiped out. “Allow me to feed you. Injari has already come down and insisted on making you a meal. She requested I inform you that the Mageran and Urina are well.”
“What about Illaria?” The image of her crumpled shoulders and sunken eyes flashes through my mind.
“She has been sedated. The female needed to rest, and Xen is…he lives. His memories revealed additional information. Even after completely forgetting himself, he paid attention to detail. Utilized his training without being cognizant of the reason why.”
“So he’s redeemed himself?” I blurt out, completely shocked at the hint of approval in Ren’s voice. The way they all assumed he was a traitor always confused me, so to hear that he might not have betrayed them gives me hope for Illaria.
“Far from it. But his continued existence is permitted.”
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