I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “Well, that’s a positive for Illaria. You should have seen her, Ren. She was so…it was terrible to watch.”
The bed sags under Ren’s weight as he crawls over me to lie at my side. His rough fingers trace my lips, and I lean into his touch. “You are…perfection. The epitome of resilience and unexpected grace. After all she has done to you, you still find empathy for her situation. Her sorrow does not outweigh the needs of our people and if not for you I would have killed him.”
“I know.”
Ren
The shields remain intact—the reflective coating still masking our presence, but we have lingered too long. The more time we spend stationary, the higher the risk of us being detected, and with all of our people in one place…leaving by dark is the only option.
Sol remains with the others, and has yet to return to the ship. Attempting to make sense of his cluttered workstation is infuriating. How a male with a mind for technology is unable to put back the things he uses is frustrating as fuck. It would be a waste of time to wait for him. The females are finding it difficult to separate from their grown offspring after being away from them for so long.
Even the males, Nexx in particular, seem to be affected. It is clear now, why those who ruled before me never gathered our people together. The strain of seeing one’s kin then being forced to separate is taxing. Devastation hangs heavy in their minds, and like kindling to a fire, it feeds my rage.
I will find those responsible for their suffering. And once they have stained the ground with their blood and my people are free, I will lay my queen down near the flower that carries her name and lose myself in her until the light wakes us both. We will have peace. We will have an abundance of pleasure. And no mercy will be given to those that stand in our way.
A red light blinks from the tablet linked to Sol’s. The voice recognition software he used to scan the video Jayla discovered has found a result. I am pleased he had the forethought to enter the information before we left, even more so, that he brought his tablet with him.
During the time I spent in Xen’s head, I studied faces, and one in particular stands out. The same eyes that flashed through my mate’s mind this morning held a pivotal place in the forefront of Xen’s thoughts. And now I have his name.
Braxick. The mystery human we seek, and the name currently flashing across the tablet screen.
Ragar and the others have begun their trek back to the ship and, on my demand, have increased their speed. Excitement heats my skin and hardens my cock. We are close. So close, I can practically smell the blood waiting to be spilled. We have a name. A face for the piece of shit that has orchestrated our suffering, and now, all that is left is to find his location.
Jayla
I’m anxious, and for the life of me, I can’t shut off my mind. A nap didn’t calm me, and food didn’t seem to help either.
What happened during the gathering is messing with me.
I never expected Linara to set me up. I knew she didn’t like me and was upset but I never saw that stupid challenge coming, and to be honest, it hurts. And really pisses me off.
Why is it the people who should care about you the most are capable of the worst shit imaginable?
Irritable and on edge, I jump out of bed and head toward the upper deck. I haven’t seen Injari or Hana since before I left, and I need to check Hana’s wounds. There’s something about caring for people that always centers me, and I’ve been seriously slacking on my medic duties.
I knock once, not bothering to wait before I enter the room. “Hey, Hana how are you—”
Oh, God. I immediately avert my eyes, my cheeks burning in embarrassment.
Hana is naked, covered only by a sheet over the lower half of her body, and Injari is standing there with a wet cloth in her hands. Panting. Red-faced. Looking guilty as hell.
Hana sighs, almost as if she’s annoyed they were interrupted. Injari just looks…uncomfortable. “Well, come on in, why don’t ya?”
I start backing up toward the door. “I’m so sorry. I can come back later. I didn’t mean to just barge in. I was just so excited to see how well you were doing—"
“It’s fine. You’re already here. Might as well take a look. Not like you haven’t seen it all before.”
The defeat in Hana’s voice makes me cringe.
Good job, Jayla. Way to invade the miniscule privacy she’s been allowed.
“Are you sure? I swear, I’ll be quick.” I give Injari a muted smile and continue toward Hana. The Illusian female drops the towel in the basin beside her and steps out of the room, not bothering to acknowledge me outside of a curt nod.
I’ve managed to upset her too.
Pulling back the sheet, I peel off the corner of the largest dressing, and bright-pink, healthy tissue peeks out from underneath the gauze. Finally, this girl gets a win.
“Hana! Your wounds are looking great!”
She snorts and leans up to take a look for herself. “Doesn’t feel like it. That drill sergeant of a nurse maid you left to watch me scrubs the hell out of it every day. I swear she enjoys it.”
I chuckle and pull off the soiled dressing to replace it. Injari left pretty quickly and, judging by the look on her face, she probably won’t be back for a while. “How are you two getting along? Seemed like you were...comfortable with each other.”
Hana clears her throat and throws an arm across her naked breasts. “Ugh, well considering she barely speaks any Meta, she mostly walks around growling and pointing at stuff she wants me to do.”
I smirk. That sounds incredibly familiar. “And…”
She grimaces as I press the edges of the new dressing to a particularly tender spot.
“And nothing. She’s been nice. Just kind of lame I can’t really talk to her. Been trying to teach her Meta since there isn’t a whole lot to do while I’m stuck in here. You think I’ll get out soon?”
“Not sure how fast Magerans heal, but you seem to have already grown new muscle and almost all signs of infection are gone. At this rate, you’ll be good to go in no time.”
Hana looks past me to the door. “She’s coming back, right?” I pause at the subtle longing in her voice, then hurry to continue sealing off the rest of her dressing, hoping she didn’t notice.
“Something tells me that’s not going to be an issue.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jayla
His skin is sallow, the kind of yellow deep bronze skin should never be. I check his pulse again, trying to build up some confidence that what Ren is about to do isn’t going to kill him, but I come up empty. Xen’s pulse is thready, and his lips are dry. He hasn’t eaten, hasn’t really slept, and isn’t doing much else but lying on the floor and staring at the wall.
“I don’t know, it feels wrong. You sure it’s not too much?”
Ren’s lip curls up, and his nostrils flare. “I care not. If the male is not strong enough to survive the results of his own failure, then so be it. But he should know. He should feel the burden that those who were taken still carry on their skin.”
The tick of Ren’s jaw and the onyx of his eyes leave little doubt. He’s pissed, and there’s no talking him out of this.
“Just let me stay in here then, okay? That way I can try to keep him alive if you manage to overload his brain.”
“Do not touch him.”
I roll my eyes. “Seriously? But what if he starts to—”
“No. You cannot save a male without a head. And I swear I will rip it from his fucking shoulders if you touch him.”
“Geez, okay, I get it. Continue on,” I say, backing away until I’m up against the wall. I have no idea how messy this is going to be, or how Xen is going to react. A sense of dread and unease churns in my gut, and I cross my arms, trying to give myself some comfort.
“Get up,” Ren demands, hovering over Xen’s crumpled body. He’s filthy, and the clothes he’s still wearing from the lab hang loosely aro
und his thin frame. He’s lost so much weight, and honestly, he looks closer to human than Illusian.
When Xen doesn’t respond, Ren grabs him by the arm and yanks him up, then pins him against the wall. A loud smack echoes through the room as Ren presses his hand against Xen’s forehead and closes his eyes. There’s a tug on the bond, and the sheer force makes me nauseous. If it makes me feel bad, what the hell is it doing to Xen?
At first nothing happens. Ren just stands with his eyes closed, Xen sagging in his arms. But then the unmated male begins to convulse. A fine tremor transforms into a full-on seizure, and Xen jerks, head lolling to the side. Ren grimaces, then drops him.
“It is done. When he wakes in the morning, he will remember.”
I swallow hard, watching as he flops around a few more times before rolling onto his side. “Don’t you mean if?”
After trying to eat her breakfast this morning, Leandra’s been vomiting for a solid fifteen minutes. Her muffled gags and unrestrained retching are so loud, I can hear them from the hallway. I rap my knuckles against the bathroom door and lean in close. “Are you okay? Seriously, this has gone on long enough. Let me examine you. For real this time. This isn’t normal.”
“I’m fine. Just mind your business,” she answers mid-gag.
Frustrated with her refusal, I bang on the door again. “I’m not going away. Just open up, or I’m telling Ragar to bust it down.”
The door jerks open and she pokes her head out. “Don’t you dare. I just convinced him to leave me alone for a while. It’s nothing, Jay. Really, I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You look like shit. Now, get out here and let me examine you. I’ll have Amina get you some of that awful tea.” She’s pale, and there’s a tiny bit of vomit on her chin. I inch back, not wanting to catch whatever she has. After a moment, she relents, opening the door wide enough for me to reach in and help her out. As soon as we make it into the kitchen and she plops into a chair, Ragar comes stomping around the corner. He drops to his knees next to her and wipes the sweat from her brow.
“I can feel your misery. Why do you refuse to rest?” His voice is rough, but there’s a surprising amount of softness too. No matter how many times I see them together, I still can’t get over how unusual it is. Ragar is a male made of nightmares, and yet, here he is on his knees for a woman half his size, pleading with her to go take a nap.
Leandra swats his hand away. “I’m good. It’s just the same thing as before. I was fine, and then all of a sudden I wasn’t.”
“You will rest.” Ragar slides an arm under her legs, but she grips the table in protest.
“No, stop. I’m fine.” Leandra looks to Amina as she enters the kitchen. “Amina! Will you make me some of that tea?” Amina’s cheeks flush slightly, and she nods her head, turning to retrieve the supplies from under the counter. “See, look. Amina will make me her tea, then I’ll be fine. Right as rain.”
Ragar’s brow furrows. “Tea? What tea, woman?”
“I can’t remember. Jayla always says it smells like dirty feet, but whatever it is, it works.”
Jerking up like he’s ready to fight, Ragar stiffens. “What tea are you feeding my female?”
Amina’s shoulders hunch, and she swallows hard. “Lor tea.”
“And it improves her sickness?” Naya says from somewhere to my right.
How does she always do that? I swear, I never see her enter the room.
“Yes,” Amina says in a tiny voice.
Without warning, Naya appears beside Leandra, taking a long sniff of her hair. Naya and Ragar stare at each other a moment before she nods.
Leandra groans, and props her head up on her hand. Her elbow wobbles, almost as if she can barely muster the energy to support herself. “Okay, what am I missing? Because everyone’s just staring at each other, and it’s getting really awkward in here.”
Naya clears her throat. “Perhaps, you and your mate should discuss this in private.”
What did Ragar do? Give her some weird disease or something? Does she have worms? I mean what could be so personal she wouldn’t just come out with it? Especially since Amina and I are the only other people here.
Leandra looks around, confused. “What are you talking about? Just spit it out already. What does tea have to do with me throwing up? Am I going to have a heart attack or something?”
Ragar kneels again beside her, whispering low so only she and I can hear. “No, my love. There is life inside you.”
Oh, hell. How did I not see that coming? Worst. Medic. Ever.
The tiny beads slide across the floor, and I lunge forward trying to catch them. Liral’s hand snakes out and grabs them at the last second, foiling my plan.
“Yes!” he yells, clapping with joy.
Dreya crosses her arms with a fake pout. “Must you always win, Liral?” she asks, giving me a sly wink as he turns to collect the small pile of beads he’s won.
“I’m a warrior, Mama. It’s my job to win.” He puffs out his chest and Dreya ruffles his hair.
“Well, little warrior, it is time for bed. Pick this up and go upstairs. Your father will be in soon to discuss tomorrow’s duties.”
Liral sighs, then begins picking up the Vanderian checkers we’ve spent the last several hours playing. Now that the other Illusians are gone, the lounge is once again being utilized after our late meal to play with the kids and socialize.
Illaria passes by on her way to the kitchen—and Xen, no doubt. It’s the first time I’ve seen her since Ren forced her to sleep. I’m guessing she just woke up. Giving Dreya and Liral a quick smile, I hustle into the kitchen after her. “Hey. You’re looking…better.”
Illaria whirls around, her long blond locks—no longer a tangled mess—floating behind her. She must have taken the time to comb through them. “Has he been fed? Or has he been ignored in my absence?”
Oh, hell. There she is. Back with the attitude.
I cock a brow. “No clue. Ren hasn’t let me near him, so your guess is as good as mine.”
She rubs her eyes, then grabs an empty cup out of the cabinet and slams it down on the counter. “You force me to sleep, force me to abandon my mate duty…” Tears gather in the corners of her swollen eyes, making her look even more exhausted. She rummages through the cooler to make a plate for Xen without saying another word, then walks to the door. The lock clicks open, but rather than going in, she stalks back to the counter to grab the drink she left.
I’m still amazed she’s been allowed to be alone with him. Usually, unmated females are kept hidden away like trophies waiting to be won, but not Illaria. And not Xen. I guess they’re not too worried about him since he’s barely alive, and before last night, couldn’t remember anything.
She loses her grip on the plate, nearly spilling the food, and no matter how irritating she is, my stomach still drops. She’s so miserable.
“Illaria, why don’t you let me—”
My words die at the sound of the door creaking. Xen stands, chest heaving, eyes locked on Illaria’s back. Almost as if she can feel his gaze, she stiffens, the cup and plate in her hand falling to the floor.
The sound of my heart pounds in my ears as Xen limps toward her, and, for a split second, I panic, not really knowing what to expect. He obviously recognizes her. But after all that’s been done to him, is he safe to be around? Could Illaria be in danger? Hell, could I?
Responding to me immediately, Ren is by my side, but instead of demanding Xen acknowledge him, he remains quiet.
Illaria weeps quietly, the sounds of her soft whimpers giving her reaction away. The table shifts as Xen uses it to keep himself from falling over, and she jerks around, ready to come to his aid. He rights himself, his Illusian pride finally shining through, and tightens his fists, fighting through whatever pain he’s feeling.
A strangled moan escapes her lips, and her whimpers turn into full blown sobs as she watches him struggle. Xen freezes for a moment, staring at her, before closing the distance betw
een them and falling to his knees.
“Forgive me, female. I have shamed you.”
Illaria slaps her hand over her mouth to silence her cries, and I look up at Ren, completely shell-shocked.
“What’s he talking about? I thought you just gave him his memories back. How does he know who she is?”
Ren grunts, eyes still locked on Xen, no doubt ensuring he doesn’t violate their mating law. “The female has suffered for him. He needed to know the sacrifice she has made. So, I showed him.”
Illaria bends over to pull Xen to his feet. “Do not kneel. You are wounded, and you need to eat.”
He tilts his head up to gaze at her, revealing a large scar down the middle of his scalp.
“I have failed you. Failed my race and disgraced my position. Even still, you would serve me?”
As soon as he straightens, Xen reaches out for her, leaving his trembling hand millimeters from her face. An intense silence passes between them. “I would…” she says, her voice barely a whisper, “serve you. And submit to you, if you would have me.”
Unceremoniously choking on my spit, I cough and sputter, drawing both of their attention and completely ruining the moment.
Stellar job, Jay.
Xen jerks up, straightening to full height before bowing his head and pressing his fist to his chest. He was so enraptured with Illaria, he didn’t even notice we were there.
“Acia, I apologize for not acknowledging you sooner. I did not see you.”
Ren’s shoulders are tense, fists clenched at his sides. “Your instincts are weak, just as you are weak. You have much to prove, male, and your failures are not to be taken lightly. You owe a boon to our people, and you can start repaying it by properly acknowledging your Aciana.”
Illaria’s breath catches as he drops to one knee. “Of course, my apologies, Aciana. It is an honor to meet you.”
Illaria’s eyes narrow and she glares at me. “Finished? Or do you want him to lie on the floor?”
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