Jax

by Cristin Harber

  Jax had seen everything there and had mentally made notes of who in Mayhem's leadership favored which other players. They'd reached the point in the night where the party was just a party. "You ready?"

  "Finally." Seven had been snuggled into his side, murmuring intel into his ear under the guise of sweet nothings and dirty talk.

  Her fingers had worked up and down his sternum, and it had taken more training than he would admit aloud to stay until he was satisfied with his understanding of who and how each player in the room worked.

  Seven worked the suite, saying goodbyes, and Jax lifted his chin to Hawke, saying nothing. Tex followed behind Seven and met Jax on the other side of a pool table where the Niners had gathered. "You're good, sweetheart?"

  "If I'm with him"—she wrapped a finger around the belt loop of his jeans—"very."

  His weathered eyes narrowed, and Jax tried to remember that Tex had a distant, albeit sacred, connection to Titan. Tex had raised Jax's teammate's sister when all had thought she was lost to a horrible world. Adelia's father had saved her, and her brother, Javier, would forever be in Tex's debt. "Adelia and Seven are good friends, aren't they?"

  Seven straightened, and her fingers squeezed his side.

  Tex's eyes crinkled at the corners. "They are."

  "Thank you. For what you did for Javier." Jax tipped his head then took Seven's tense hand and walked her out the door.

  The moment they stepped into the hall, the bright lights and clean, cool air ran over them. They were a world away from another life, and all that separated them were a few inches of wood and metal.

  "What was that all about?" she asked when they finally reached the elevators.

  "He worries about you." Shrugging, Jax beckoned for her to come closer. "I hated being the guy in the room he didn't trust."

  "You come here." Seven curled her fingers, mocking his motion as she swayed her hips and leaned against him. "Or not." The elevator arrived, and Seven curled again, rubbing her back to him and wrapping his forearms around her waist as the doors opened. "Shocking that no one trusts you?"

  He laughed. "No one trusts me. But of all people, they should."

  Seven walked into the corner before she turned around, and he slapped the number to her floor before pinning her in the corner.

  "Knock, knock."

  Jax laughed. "Who's there?"

  "Boo."

  "Boo who?"

  "Boo-hoo? Come on, you big tough SEAL, no crying when the MC guys don't like you."

  He cackled and tickled her sides, kissing her neck, not letting her go as she crawled against him.

  The elevator doors opened, and she ducked under his arm and escaped but held her arm out, waiting for him.

  "You're lucky there could be witnesses." He pulled her close. "Death by tickle. Not nearly the strangest thing that happens in Vegas."

  Seven giggled as they turned the hall corner. "Are we drunk?"

  "You are. Not me."

  "Oh, bull!" She turned to push him, but he grabbed her hand, and Seven spun in the hall as if they were dancing, and her short skirt flared.

  "Nice moves." The familiar voice and the applause made Jax spin Seven as he turned to face Boss Man.

  With Sugar by Jared's side, Jax couldn't tell if his boss was amused or pissed.

  Boss Man crossed his arms. "Guess you got the invite to Mayhem tonight."

  Guess their intoxication was that obvious. Knock-knock jokes and dancing in the hall were dead giveaways.

  "Do you dance?" Seven asked Jared.

  Jax grabbed her arm, needing to reel his tipsy motorcycle princess back to reality.

  "He can dance." Sugar's evil grin almost reached her ears. "Do you?" She put her hand over Seven's head, reaching for Jax.

  "Depends…"

  Sugar howled, spinning around Seven.

  This was ten kinds of a bad idea.

  "Don't be a stick in the mud."

  "I'm not," Jax grumbled.

  "Then don't be a dick."

  Holy shit, how much had Sugar had to drink? And he'd thought these two women didn't like each other. Maybe it was just him that Sugar didn't like.

  But it was Jared that shut Jax up. Boss Man, who'd once killed a room full of enemies locked and loaded on him while he was unarmed, let Seven twirl on his finger with the slightest hint of amusement.

  Fucking hell. Jax spun Sugar out—and that made Boss Man laugh. Thank God Sugar heard the beat of her own drum and took off dancing around the hall.

  For this very moment, Jax was glad he'd spent time with Mayhem's bourbon girl. Between Grace and Seven, he'd survived a room full of questionable people and a cloudy haze of dope, music he didn't like, and business he didn't trust, then semi-danced with Sugar—who hated him.

  Seven worked Jared like a ballet bar, and Sugar spun on high heels that Jax was sure doubled as weapons.

  "Don't puke." Jared eased Seven to a spinning stop. "Gracefully, though."

  "I wouldn't."

  "Maybe I was talking to that one." He nodded to his wife.

  "Watch yourself, hot stuff." Sugar wriggled away.

  Boss Man guided Seven toward Jax, and she leaned against him.

  "Not bad, Jax." Sugar laid her head against Jared.

  "That was all you."

  She preened but then crooked her dark eyebrow. "I still don't like you."

  Jax lifted his shoulders, not caring about anything but Seven plastered to his chest. "I don't know, Sugar. Progress? At least you can say it to my face."

  She cackled. "Guess so." Sugar crooked her finger at Seven. "She's growing on me."

  "On that note"—Jared shook his head—"we gotta go."

  Sugar dropped her hand. "Maybe that's why I like you two as a couple."

  Jared remained silent, knowing that he'd told Jax to do what it took to get an invite to the meeting tonight and having no idea how much groundwork had already been laid for a friendly arrangement.

  Sugar pivoted to her husband on the spiked dagger heel. "You don't think so?"

  "I think Jax is off the clock. I give no fucks what he does tonight."

  She tossed her dark hair. "I care."

  "But you hate us." Seven leaned forward as he tightened his grip on her, making sure she was well anchored to his side.

  "I hate"—Sugar pursed her lips—"inconsistency."

  They could agree on that, but he wouldn't say it aloud.

  Jared chuckled. "This is what I've learned, especially about nights with my favorite people before a job kicks off. You have to relax in whatever way gets the job done so that when it's time to get serious and focus, your mind is sharp."

  "Wait, people?" Sugar teased.

  He chortled. "Person. I have one favorite, and that's you, Baby Cakes."

  Sugar preened.

  "I like his voice." Seven dropped hers low. "It sounds like this. My name is Jared Westin."

  They laughed.

  "Do you have any more advice for us, Jared Westin?" she asked in the deep faux-baritone.

  Boss Man winked. "Take what life dishes you, like two drunk beauties dancing in the hall."

  Jax chewed on the inside of his cheek. That was the advice he hated, like there were tragedies he was supposed to handle and keep trucking. "Yeah, yeah. Let's party it up between gang parties."

  Seven and Sugar both scowled. Seven pulled her hair under her nose like a pink mustache and said in her Boss Man voice, "You're such a dick."

  "Isn't he, though?" Sugar added. "But don't give Jared ideas about mustaches. I'm digging the beard. Goatee? No. Scruff? Yeah. Mustache? Nope."

  Seven giggled after the laundry list of facial hair options had been laid out as both she and Jared muttered that they did what they wanted.

  "What do you think?" Sugar sidled next to Jax, changing the subject. "Should I trust him?"

  "Man, all the true feelings are coming out tonight," he grumbled. "Your hatred of the 'stashe and how you won't let me near your stupid-ass trust circle."
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  Jared failed to keep his jaw from falling open. He didn't stop laughing as he repeated Jax's words, dropping his head back with a belly-laughing, "Damn."

  Seven was on Team Sugar and hadn't found the trust circle anywhere near as hilarious as he and Boss Man. She crept closer like Sugar until she edged him back a step. "I'm still figuring that out myself."

  "They're turning against you, brother." Jared still hadn't stopped laughing.

  "No," he corrected, wrapping an arm around Seven. "This one liked me just fine before that one—"

  "It's hard to trust a man who sounds like he's picking you out of a catalog."

  Sugar was on fire. Jax had to give her that. "For fuck's sake." But he wouldn't let her win. "This mama liked me just fine before that mama pointed her talons at me. Or how about, this business owner liked me just fine before that business owner said I was inconsistent—and you know what? Straight out of a catalog, Sugar. This beauty liked me before you—who are a beauty too, babe—wondered if she should trust me."

  Sugar put her hands on her hips, cocking her head. "That was good… Too good?"

  Jax laughed. "Obviously."

  Jared pulled Sugar to him. "At least the right woman makes life interesting. That's what I was saying."

  "What are you talking about?" Sugar turned to her husband. "You're not the life-advice giver in this family. I am."

  Jax was trying to follow both who, he'd figured out by now, had as much to drink as he and Seven had. Not too much… but maybe a little bit too much.

  Jared didn't engage Sugar, and that was likely the safest bet. "No joke, Jax. You're off the clock 'til tomorrow. Go have fun."

  Sugar walked her fingers up Jared's bicep. "What do you know about fun?"

  "I had a leather-clad ballerina spinning circles for me, Baby Cakes. I know a little something."

  Sugar rolled her eyes with so much gusto, Jax almost threw out an arm to catch her. "Like he never had leather-clad ballerinas in bed before."

  Jared's smile cracked. "Go have fun tonight."

  "Have fun is code for get naked," Sugar added. "In case you couldn't read between—"

  "Got it." Seven's crimson face surprised him. "Thanks for the explanation."

  "My job here is done." Sugar whirled around and walked down the hall. "Catch up with me when you're done chatting. I'll be naked in bed." She swayed her hips down the hall, singing to herself. "Maybe I'll keep the shoes on."

  Jared's eyes lingered before he swung back to them.

  "I'm going this way," Seven said, turning the opposite way. "Maybe I'll keep the boots on."

  Hadn't her face just been bright red? What was it with these two? Jax shook his head, sure Boss Man was ready to bid good night, but his face had sobered.

  Jax had no idea what was on his mind, but the awkwardness required he say something. "If you're worried I'm not getting in my… extracurriculars, I promise, it's covered. Appreciate Titan looking out."

  Jared worked his jaw side to side then cracked his knuckles. "Sugar doesn't trust you."

  "She's told me. Several times." Jax gestured. "Including tonight."

  "Because of Deacon Lanes. Did you know that?"

  All the lights in Vegas went out—or it seemed that way. The simple reminder of one name made his cold heart return and any humor that had crept into his body run for cover.

  "No. I didn't." And he didn't want to, either. Sugar knew Deacon?

  "For the last couple years, she's—"

  "Years?" As in how long he's been with Titan?

  Jared nodded slowly. "Deacon's CIA."

  "I know who that motherfucker is."

  Boss Man's eyebrows slowly lifted. "You have something to say that I should know about?"

  Jax gnashed his molars. All of the bourbon in the Mayhem suite couldn't have numbed Jax enough to pretend he could ever be a good guy, a man capable of love and caring for another human being ever again. He was a trained animal. A warrior. A machine. He didn't make friends. He didn't do anything but operate well with a team when they were in action. And afterward, all he knew how to do was power down.

  This bullshit about Jared teaching him to negotiate and diplomatic relations was all crap because Jax didn't care. He wanted to train, shoot, kill to protect the decency and honor of innocents and civilians. He wanted mission goals and targets, but none of this diplomacy BS.

  "No." Jax pivoted, surging forward.

  "Freeze, asshole."

  Jax sucked in a breath and shut his eyes. Jared had said he wasn't on the goddamn clock. But that was a lie. He was always on the clock, and Jax took his orders like he should as his boss marched around.

  "What do I need to know about you and Deacon Lanes?"

  "Nothing."

  "Spill it now."

  Pain crept down Jax's neck from the intensity of his jaw clenching his teeth. "It's personal shit."

  Jared gave one curt, not-a-chance headshake. "You don't have personal. You have Titan. Or you have nothing."

  His arms straightened, and his fists balled. "What do you want from me?"

  "Everything."

  Jax scoffed, turning down the hall. Seven was almost halfway down. "I've got nothing to give, so good luck."

  "Brother, I own you, and if you don't see what that's worth, you're too dangerous to have on my teams."

  Surprise made him spin back. "What? Because I won't tell you some stupid part of my history."

  Jared squared to him. "Tell me again that it's history, Jax."

  Did he say what had happened to Carrie was stupid? Guilt roared in his ears with his rushing blood. His body hurt. Then he simply went weak. "Guess I need a new job."

  "Wrong answer, dickhead. You stubborn, stupid son of a bitch. You are Titan."

  He swallowed over the strangling knot in his throat. He was Titan. Loved it, lived it, even if no one saw it or understood that.

  "I know you know that too," Boss Man pushed. "Who's Deacon to you?"

  "I wasn't supposed to know who he was, but I wasn't supposed to know what she was, either." There was a reason he never told this story. Reliving hell never got any less awful. "You know I was on a SEAL team. But Carrie was CIA. We were…" He lifted his shoulders then ran a hand over his face. "His cover was blown on an op. Not hers. Two men from a cell they'd been watching showed up to confront him. He shot her. Proof she was nothing but an expendable asset and he was whoever he was supposed to be." He braced himself for the memory that haunted him. "I watched her bleed out in the back room of St. Agnes, a church down the street from where we lived."

  The silence was uncomfortable. "Never saw you as churchgoing. I'm sorry for—"

  "We were just married. Minutes before." Jax cleared his throat. "Deacon didn't turn or look. He drew and shot twice to the side. Got her in the neck and stomach. Took about four minutes for her to bleed out."

  Boss Man's face paled.

  "I used her veil on the neck wound." Jax licked his bottom lip, chewing it. "Those things have no absorbency. Tried with my jacket and vest around her torso." He rolled both lips into his mouth. "But you know how that goes. Close range, stomach wound. She had no chance."

  "They can be hard…"

  "Impossible." Jax fought away the memory of red blood at her throat and the dark purple, nearly black, blood spreading from the stomach down. "She couldn't talk, cry. But her eyes were open. Until they weren't."

  Jared's hardened face stayed silent, deepening with stress lines from Jax's horrid tale.

  "Jax!" Seven called from far down the hall. "Come on."

  "How long ago?" Boss Man asked.

  "Twelve years. Back when we were both new and green."

  Jared's jaw ticked. "Why wasn't it in your file? Family history?"

  "The Agency swept it under the rug. No legal record it ever happened, and their sweep team took care of the locals and the scene." He drew a long breath. "The idea that someone can take someone from you, and it's not supposed to change who you are? I don't think that's pos
sible. But that experience made me better in ways. A stronger fighter. Harsher. More prepared for battle."

  "Jesus, Jax."

  "Nothing I've come across has fazed me since that day. Something came out of it. A hell of a lesson."

  Jared stared past his shoulder. "But don't let that one lesson keep you from the sweet, stubborn, over-the-top, brightly colored experience skipping this way. Have a good night, Jax." He paced away but turned. "One more thing."

  Seven eased back under his arm, and Jax hung on to her, needing to hold her more than he realized. "What's up?"

  "A few years ago, Sugar was abducted by someone I trusted. You've heard the stories. But I read one time that forgiveness can't change the past, only the future. Something to think about."

  Forgiving Deacon? Not in this lifetime.

  "What are you two chatting about?" Seven asked.

  Jared stretched. "Whether I'm going to find Sugar passed out naked in high heels. Good night."

  Jax pulled her against his chest. "You feel good to hold on to."

  She nuzzled her face against his neck. "I always knew men had serious girl talk when no one was watching."

  Quietly, he laughed. She had no idea the depth of the subject they had touched. But what he needed was her smile, to relax and enjoy her, even his life and all the opportunities that Jared had said he should be open to. "Thanks, Seven."

  She leaned back, letting her bright hair fall off her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

  He closed his eyes, wondering what the real answer was. His automatic answer was always yes, but that was never the truth. Until now… "I am."

  "I think I am too." Her hair fell over her cheek, and he tucked it behind her ear.

  "I lost my buzz, though."

  "Same—hey, do you want to see my room?" Flustered, her eyes widened. "Oh, wow. I didn't mean that how it sounded. The view is really gorgeous."

  "Standing in a windowless hallway, I can say the same."

  All of the sights and shows on the Vegas strip didn't have enough star power to make her feel a tenth as special as Jax could. "There it is again."