Never Knew Until You

by L E Royal

  This woman was so hard to read.

  “So, tell me about yourself.”

  Parker thanked her quietly and followed as she was led through a door on the side of the house.

  “Well. I’m a Professor at FIU, English Lit.”

  The house was gorgeous. She had no idea what else to say about herself.

  “How about you? This is quite a place for a twenty-four-year-old.”

  Kristina looked back at her, her eyes promising that she caught the deflection, but thankfully she let it pass.

  “I manage an international logistics company, if that’s what you want to know.”

  Parker’s brows shot up.

  “Wow…that’s quite an accomplishment.”

  They moved down the hallway, passing the door Parker remembered from her last visit. The beautiful living room where Kristina had touched her was inside. She forced herself not to blush.

  “Thank you. It’s one of my father’s companies. Most people stop taking me seriously once they learn that, but I worked hard for it. I’ve known it would be mine since I was fifteen, and been preparing ever since.”

  Parker was impressed.

  “Is Chinese food okay? I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I got a little of everything.”

  “Sounds great.”

  Parker offered her a smile. Kristina licked her lips, and suddenly Parker wondered how she was going to make it through a meal with her. She was less nervous than she had been, but the effects of that kiss still lingered.

  “Please. Go ahead outside and make yourself at home,” Kristina said. “I’ll bring everything out.”

  A sliding glass door was pulled back, and Parker stepped out onto the wraparound balcony. The view of the ocean was breathtaking. Kristina’s company must make some serious money.

  Parker deposited her purse by one of the chairs at the dining table and stepped up to the railing, the soft ocean breeze rising to meet her.

  This was so strange, so unlike her. I’m out on a Friday night for one. She rolled her eyes at herself. But she knew almost nothing about Kristina, and here they were preparing to have dinner, and she’d already…been intimate with her. The niggling feeling of being lost, out of control, trickled into her chest. Forcing it away, she tried to go over some of the questions she had planned to ask, about Kristina herself, and about the arrangement.

  “You’ve been taking care of yourself.”

  A voice interrupted her thoughts, and when she turned, a bag of cartons was laid on the table, wine in an ice bucket and two glasses set beside it. Kristina was eyeing her appreciatively.

  Parker laughed, nervous as Kristina approached her.

  “Your skin looks beautiful and you look rested.”

  She had been drinking more water, paying attention to what she ate, sticking to her running schedule, no matter how terrible she felt at the state of her body.

  Manicured fingers reached for the railing on either side of her, and she was trapped, Kristina looking up at her through thick dark lashes.

  “I’m glad you called me.”

  Parker swallowed, her body already roaring to life at Kristina’s proximity in a way that was as foreign to her as it was embarrassing.

  Just when she thought Kristina was going to lean up and kiss her, she seemed to remember herself, stepping back and taking Parker’s hand to lead her over to the table.

  “Please, help yourself.”

  Her chair was pulled out for her. This woman is such an enigma. She watched Kristina pour them both a glass of wine and pop open the array of cartons.

  Suddenly, she wasn’t hungry. She gathered herself.

  “So how exactly does all this work?”

  Kristina paused, a perfect bite-sized parcel of noodles clasped between her chopsticks.

  “Dinner?”

  Parker raised an eyebrow. She could do this. She had to figure out what she was doing here. It was too easy to spin out of control around Kristina, and she needed to make sense of it all.

  “Right.”

  Kristina set down the utensils politely.

  “What exactly do you want to know?”

  Parker reached up to run a hand through her hair. Where did she even start?

  “I know the website talked about…”

  “Domination,” Kristina supplied helpfully, amusement dancing in her eyes.

  “Yes… What exactly does that entail?”

  Kristina was studying her again.

  “I was planning to go over everything with you after dinner. I have a list of my kinks, things I enjoy, and I can give you a list of my limits if you’d like. Or we can just agree that our relationship stays within the constraints of what we mutually agree on, and we discuss any additions we’d like to make as they arise.”

  Somehow this was becoming a business transaction, and Parker was beginning to balk. Kristina must have sensed it too.

  “Why did you sign up to find someone through the agency?”

  Parker faltered.

  “I, um…” She was playing with the stem of her wineglass.

  “Lift your head up, Parker. I like to see your beautiful face while you talk.”

  The command was soft. It made her blush, and somehow made her braver.

  “I got a divorce, and I…” Her voice went soft again. “I wanted to do something just for me, to get back to myself.”

  She raised her eyes. Kristina’s were unreadable.

  “How long were you married?”

  “Fourteen years.”

  God, I feel like a failure.

  “And how long have you been divorced?”

  “I got served the papers about four months ago, and we made it official about three weeks back.”

  Is this the part where Kristina decides I’m too broken, too messy; that she doesn’t want me either?

  Kristina nodded but didn’t ask any more questions about it.

  “What confuses or scares you the most about all this?”

  Parker’s cheeks were burning. “You. I mean…why you do this, and why you would want to do it with me…”

  “I do this because I enjoy it. It’s the way I choose to live my life and have personal relationships. As for why I want very much to dominate you, I could say the words, but they wouldn’t mean anything to you right now. But over time, I hope to make you understand.”

  Parker nodded, nervous, tired. I’m messing all this up too.

  “Are you going to eat?”

  The question surprised her. She picked up her fork.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.”

  “I don’t care about the food.” Kristina was already closing the cartons, stacking them into a neat pile that she disappeared into the kitchen with. Alone, Parker pressed her fingers into her eyes. She’d ruined this too.

  “Parker.” Kristina’s voice was soft as her gentle fingers pried one of Parker’s hands away. “Let me put your mind at rest?”

  Kristina took her hand, and she was led back through the house, her heart beating an odd rhythm that made her feel ill. Kristina opened a door down the hall and stepped back to let Parker inside. The sun was setting beautifully over the balcony outside what she assumed to be the master bedroom.

  Kristina indicated for her to sit on the bed. When Parker joined her, a sheet of paper was pressed into her hands.

  “These are my kinks, some of the things I enjoy and would like to explore with you. Why don’t you read them and let me know if you have any questions and we’ll talk about anything you’d like to veto.”

  Parker swallowed hard—all this was giving her whiplash—but she lowered her eyes obediently and scanned the lines.

  Spanking—hand, cane, flogger, whip, other object.

  The bed dipped behind her, and Kristina’s hands settled on her shoulders. She was surprised when they squeezed.

  “Just relax and read, sweetheart.”

  She licked her dry lips and lowered her eyes back to the page.

  Orgasm denial,
orgasm as reward, orgasm on command.

  Kristina kneaded the tense muscles in her shoulders. Parker was surprised to discover she couldn’t remember the last time anyone had done that for her.

  God, it feels good.

  The list went on. Most of the things she was interested in trying, if a little nervous about. Reading was incredibly hard with Kristina’s hands on her.

  “Being subtly dominated in a public place?”

  Firm hands squeezed her biceps, tension draining away under the touch.

  “Means me dominating you in a public setting in a way that’s not really noticeable to others, but will be very noticeable to you.”

  She was embarrassed how much the thought turned her on.

  “This list isn’t as long as I thought it might be…” And it was all really reasonable and not that weird. She’d been expecting much worse.

  “It’s a starting point.” Kristina’s fingers rolled over a knot at the base of her neck. “I’d like to get to know you and explore things you’re comfortable with, and later we can talk about expanding your comfort zone.”

  “All of this sounds fine.”

  Parker closed her eyes, allowing herself to enjoy the treatment her shoulders were getting for a second.

  “Just fine?”

  Kristina’s lips were unexpectedly close to her ear. Parker’s body jumped to alert as she laughed, soft and breathy.

  “Would you like me to take you home so you can digest all this?”

  Kristina’s voice was quiet in the still of the bedroom, rich and dark, and it dared her to stay.

  “No.”

  She was proud of herself for the answer.

  Kristina trailed down her hands over her shoulders and moved across her chest.

  “Would you like to talk more?”

  Her body was burning under Kristina’s hands, and as much as she knew there were tens, maybe a hundred more questions she had wanted to ask her, a part of her, deep and secret, wanted something else. She wanted to feel like she had that first time by the window again, wanted and worthy.

  “I… No.”

  Kristina smiled against her cheek where she leaned over her shoulder.

  “Do you have a recent STI check?”

  That was not what she was expecting. She swallowed hard as Kristina pulled away and retrieved another sheet of paper from the nightstand. It was dated yesterday.

  “I… No, Kristina.” Parker cleared her throat. “I was married for fourteen years.”

  “But as you said, it ended months ago.” She watched it dawn across Kristina’s face. “You haven’t…”

  Parker’s cheeks burned and she had to look away.

  “And your ex, how often did she fuck you?”

  Kristina’s voice was rich and all the intensity was back, and it left Parker so horribly off balance.

  She scoffed, the sound bitter. Could you even call the mechanical means to an end that had been her life fucking? It certainly wasn’t making love.

  “In the end, not much.”

  She was too embarrassed to say any more. Kristina’s eyes on her felt like a physical touch. When is she going to realize I’m not desirable? This makes no sense, not for someone as young and successful and gorgeous as her to want this.

  Fingers gripped her chin and lifted her head. Kristina held her gaze.

  “Eyes up. Do you masturbate, Parker?”

  Her brain short-circuited at the question.

  She did…she had. A while ago, probably? When did I stop?

  “Not recently.”

  Something snapped across Kristina’s face.

  “What’s the safe word?”

  “Red?” Parker hadn’t meant for it to be a question, yet Kristina was making all these gargantuan leaps, and she was struggling to keep up, hampered by her own embarrassment, her shame.

  “Good girl.”

  Kristina’s slim fingers took the pages from her hands and set them on the nightstand before they reached up to smooth back her hair as Kristina swung one leg over both of Parker’s, straddling her.

  “I’m going to kiss you now.”

  She did. If the kiss in the car was amazing, this was absolutely out of this world. Fingers knotted in her hair, pulling her head back, holding her there, unable to escape. Lips moved rough, encouraging, against her own. When she opened her mouth, Kristina’s fit against it like that’s where it was always meant to be. She kissed her long and slow, then rough and desperate.

  The pads of Parker’s fingers pressed into the soft flesh of her lower back, holding Kristina against her. She had never experienced chemistry like this. Sure, Kristina knew how to kiss, but she finally knew what they meant by feeling sparks.

  “Take this off.”

  Kristina was breathless as she tugged at the hem of Parker’s shirt, and leaning back, she slid her own up over her head.

  “But, what about the…test?”

  She gestured to Kristina’s own clear report on the nightstand.

  “Do you have any reason to believe I should be worried about that?”

  “No, but…”

  “Then it’s a chance I’ll take, tonight. Take off your shirt.”

  Parker watched her, all smooth toned muscle and tan skin, and even with the thrill of kissing her still potent in her blood, she wasn’t quite brave enough.

  She thought about her half-finished running route, her too-tight jeans, and suddenly she was self-conscious.

  Kristina was looking down at her, eyes dark, hair mussed.

  “You’re mine, sweetheart. Regardless of how you feel about yourself, you’re beautiful to me and I want to see you.”

  Somehow that made it easier than soft, fake reassurance might have. Taking a deep breath, Parker pulled the material over her head.

  Before she could cross her arms around her middle to hide herself, Kristina was on top of her, pushing her back against the mattress. Her hands were pinned above her head.

  “Keep these here, understand?”

  “Yes, Mistress.”

  Chapter Four

  THEY PULLED UP to the curb in front her house, and Parker was so loath for their time together to end. Last night had been amazing, Kristina was kind of amazing, and the more time Parker spent with her, the more she let herself relax and enjoy this.

  “What’s on your mind, sweetheart?”

  Kristina’s dark eyes were on her across the console. She had a slightly smug smile on her beautiful mouth.

  “Looks like you already know.”

  Parker was able to hold her eyes now. They had found something last night between the sheets, watching the sun rise together over the ocean this morning. This is going to work for me.

  “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I did too.”

  She nodded, hovering awkwardly, one hand on the door handle, not quite ready to leave the car.

  “How did you get into this?”

  She hadn’t meant to ask right then, but she did want to know.

  Kristina gave her an enigmatic smile. She tore her eyes away, licking her lips.

  “After I went through the agency and completed a program with another Domme, I realized this was who I wanted to be.”

  “Wait…” Kristina used to be someone’s sub?

  “Call me, sweetheart. We still have to sign the papers. Nothing serious—just NDAs for us both, and you should plan a visit to the clinic.”

  Parker recognized the deflection but let it pass.

  “Okay.”

  This was it, time for her to go. Should I lean over and kiss her? Would Kristina want that?

  Kristina was laughing.

  “What?” Parker couldn’t help but laugh with her.

  “Do you want something, Parker?”

  God, that voice. She had come to know it last night, intimately, rich and dark and full of a million promises. The effect it had on her body, still sore from the previous night, was embarrassing.

  “I’d like to kiss you goodbye.”

 
; Her eyes found the floorboard, the request quiet. Kristina tipped her chin with her fingers until she was holding Parker’s gaze.

  “Then ask me.”

  She swallowed, part of her aware they were parked right in front of her house in the middle of the street, yet whatever magic Kristina had still sucked her in, swallowed her.

  “May I kiss you goodbye, Mistress?”

  A smile broke on Kristina’s face.

  “You may.”

  She sat still in her seat, her dark eyes daring Parker. Biting her lip, fighting a smile, Parker leaned over the console slowly, watching Kristina’s eyes until her own fell closed.

  Even with a quarter of an inch between them, Kristina didn’t move. She was really going to make Parker kiss her. Closing the gap, Parker pressed her lips over Kristina’s soft ones, sucking lightly on her bottom one, tasting it with her tongue, pleased when they parted for her.

  Kristina was quiet against her, soft and responsive, and it was so easy to lose herself in kissing her, tracing the curve of her jaw, feeling the fine hair at the base of her neck.

  Their tongues moved together, and Parker wished desperately for the console to melt so she could be pressed against her, on top of her, inside of her. A dog barked and she came back to herself. With one last quick kiss, she pulled away, a blush growing on her cheeks.

  She was pleased to see Kristina was just as breathless as she felt.

  “Like that?”

  I did. She could maybe see now why Kristina liked being on top so much.

  “Yes, Mistress.”

  She was rewarded for using the title with another beautiful smile.

  “Off you go, Professor. If you stay any longer I’m going to end up shirking all my responsibilities and taking you home to have my wicked way with you, again.”

  Something in her stomach clenched at the thought. Forcing herself to get a hold of herself, Parker swung open the door and clambered up and out of the car.

  “You’re working today?”

  Kristina nodded, something dark still in her eyes.

  “Come here.”

  Parker rolled her eyes playfully, but dutifully dropped her purse on the curb and moved to the driver side of the car.

  “All the way.”

  Kristina beckoned her to lean down with a crook of her index fingers.

  “Next time you roll your eyes at me, I’m going to spank you. Do you understand?”