by Megan Keith
“Do you like it?” Joel was watching me as I walked back towards him, running my hand along the bench as I went.
“I love it!” Then I turned to look out the large windows that went right along the room. “Oh wow!” I walked over to the large sliding door in the centre and was about to walk out the door when Joel grabbed my hand. “Joel, it’s beautiful. How much land is there?” I was looking at a perfectly lush green lawn, rolling on slight incline down into thick bushland.
“It’s three acres. The land ends just past that line of trees.” He pointed to the thick scrub. “Let me show you the rest of the house.”
He pulled me through an open doorway tucked in the corner of the room. The floorboards stretched down a long hallway. There was a large bedroom on the left, its window opening out onto the front verandah. The room was large with plenty of wardrobe space, the walls were again beige, a blank canvas. We continued down the hallway, where there were two more bedrooms just like it, as well as a spacious laundry and beautiful bathroom.
“Four bedrooms?” I asked when we entered the last room.
Joel nodded.
“This house is huge, it didn’t look this big from the outside.”
“It is deceptive. Do you want to see out the back now?”
I nodded, looking around in wonder. He pulled me back through to the kitchen/family room and out the back sliding door.
It opened up onto a large undercover deck. We stepped down onto a stunning landscaped garden. The lawn was so lush and green. Gum trees dotted the lawn with little garden beds underneath each one. Joel pulled me in the direction of a huge shed. When he opened the door I was surprised to see it was set up with a huge bar. It was rustic, made from old iron and railway sleepers, with wooden tables and chairs. A pool table in the middle.
“The owners are selling the pool table and the bar fridge with the house. They’re moving somewhere smaller. Great spot for parties, hey?”
His eyes were alight like a young boy at Christmas. I don’t think anything could wipe the huge smile off his face.
“It’s amazing!”
I wandered back out the door to look at the incredible backyard. Joel came up behind me, resting his head on my shoulder and circling his arms around my waist.
“It’s big, which means a really big mortgage…” I mused.
“But do you like it?” he whispered in my ear.
“No.” I smiled.
“No?”
“No. I love it! Can we go back through the house again?”
“Of course.”
So we did. And I loved it even more the second time around. It was like a dream, the perfect house. A house that I never knew would exist outside of my dreams. When we stepped back out on the verandah after viewing the house for a second time, Sue came around the corner. I’d been so excited by the house that I’d forgotten she was even there.
“So? Did the house get the Liv seal of approval?”
“Absolutely,” I replied happily. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t really my place and Joel may have wanted to play it cool. There are all sorts of games you’re meant to play when buying a home, to get the best price.
In the back of my mind, I was a little hurt, or jealous even. Joel was looking to purchase my dream home. Where did I fit in? We were practically living together as it was. I thought, or hoped, maybe one day we’d be buying a place together. I did my best to hide those feelings though.
“I’m going to lock the house up now and head home. Take your time out here. Joel you have my number.” Sue shook his hand, then mine. “Nice to meet you, Liv.”
“You too.”
“Thank you, Sue.” Joel swung back to me with a huge smile on his face.
“My seal of approval? Have you been talking about me?”
“Of course. I told her I wouldn’t buy anything without my girlfriend’s go ahead.”
“Really?”
“Come with me, I want to show you one more thing.”
He grabbed my hand again. We walked down to the back of the property. The slope was steeper than I had first thought and it took longer than I thought it would, but I was in no hurry, it was good to look around the property and soak it all in. When we reached the trees I got an overwhelming feeling of déjà vu. It was almost like-
“See over there?” Joel pointed a little ways down past the creek that was hidden under the trees. “That log?”
“That’s our log!” I gasped.
It was our picnic spot, Joel’s place to go think, the log where I made him see sense about the whole jail thing. It was on the opposite side of the creek from where we were standing and about twenty metres away. We walked until we were standing on the edge of the water.
“It’s almost backing directly onto it.”
“Almost,” he replied with a smirk.
“I can see the dirt road through the trees.”
The road that we had now driven down many times together. I’d had no idea we were anywhere near this creek when we arrived.
We turned to face the back of the house. The slope of green grass made it seem as though the house was on a pedestal. From here you could not see a single neighbour.
“I think you’re right about the house though, it is too big for just me and Ruby. It needs a family.” He paused, his hands in his jeans pockets, his head hung low. He looked up at me through his long lashes. “What do you say? Can you see yourself living here?”
“You’re asking me to move in with you?” My heart rate picking up ten-fold.
“No. I want more than that.”
“Oh? You need someone to help pay the massive mortgage. You want my money?” I teased.
“Well, it would help. You are loaded, right?”
He smiled at me but I noticed a nervous energy overcome him. He took a step closer, removing his hands from his pockets so he could hold onto both of mine.
“Olivia Moore,” uh-oh, he’s using your full name, this is serious, “You mean everything to me. You are the first thing I think about when I wake up, you’re on my mind all day and you’re the last thing I think of before I go to sleep.” His voice was thick with emotion. He chuckled. “You even haunt me in my dreams. I can’t imagine a future without you in it.”
I felt the tears welling in my eyes.
“You are the most important thing in my life. I love you with all my heart, every fibre of my being. I never imagined finding this… what we have. I never knew I could love like this. You are the other half of my soul.”
He let go of one of my hands and I was grateful to be able to wipe my eyes, he was getting blurry through all my tears. He got down on one knee.
“I want you to be my family… my life… my wife. Liv, will you marry me?”
I jumped into his arms and we fell to the ground with a thud. It was damp and dirty and I didn’t care one bit. I kissed him with all my might. I kissed him hard as all the doubts left my body. I kissed him for our future.
“Liv,” he said.
I kissed him for all the times I didn’t say I love you, when I really should have.
“Liv,” he said again.
I kissed him for finding my dream home.
“Liv.”
I kissed him for his beautiful words.
“Liv.”
I kissed him for proposing.
“Liv!” He pushed me away by my shoulders. Looking me sternly in the eyes. “Is that a yes?”
“YES!” I leant back down and kissed him again. “Yes,” and another kiss, “Yes”.
And then he was finally kissing me back just as hard and then rolling me over. He was on top of me, his hips grinding into mine and I reached between us to cup him. I was about to undo the button of his jeans, in a sexual fog, when something stopped me. A hard lump in his pocket. Joel realised my reason for pausing and quickly sat back on his knees.
“Oh yeah, I have a ring to give you.”
I sat up with him still in between my legs. He pulled the box fr
om his pocket.
“Sorry, I was meant to pull this out when I asked wasn’t I?” He chuckled.
He popped the box open and held it in front of me. I gasped as I looked at the beautiful piece of jewellery. It was white gold and the diamond was understated, mid-sized and elegant. It was perfect.
“If you don’t like it we can take it back and pick something else.”
“I love it!”
“You do? You’re not just saying that because-”
“Please,” I said, through tears that suddenly reappeared, “Can you put it on me?”
I held out my shaky hand and watched Joel take the ring from the box with an equally shaky one. He slipped it on my finger and just like we fit together, the ring fit me perfectly.
Somehow we managed to stop ourselves from having sex near our creek in broad daylight, though we did come close. Joel somehow managed to drive to Adam and Raelene’s house (which was now only a couple of streets from our new home, SQUEE) and I somehow managed to stop staring at my ring long enough to walk from the car to their front door.
“SHE SAID YES!” Joel yelled, scooping me into his arms and carrying me bridal style into their kitchen.
Raelene squealed and ran over to us enveloping us both in a hug, not caring that Joel was about to drop me because she couldn’t stop jumping up and down. She was crying, which made me get teary again.
“Congratulations!” Adam boomed, coming over to pull Raelene off of us long enough for Joel to put me back on my feet. My feet only touched the ground for a nanosecond before I was airborne again, this time in Adam’s arms. He squeezed me tight. “Proud to call you my sister, Liv.”
I lost it then. My arms circled him tightly and I burst into tears.
“You okay Aunty Wiv?” a little voice said from Adam’s side. Joel quickly scooped Chelsea up and brought her to my eye level.
“Aunty Liv and Uncle Joel are gonna get married!” Joel said happily, leaning over to kiss me.
“Hang on a sec, let’s swap,” Adam said, letting me go and taking Chelsea from Joel’s arms. Joel immediately pulled me into him.
“Did you get mauled by a koala?” Raelene asked from behind me.
I turned my head to see her pulling leaves off my back and that’s when I realised that both Joel and I were covered in mud. We burst out laughing but stopped suddenly to kiss each other again.
“I get to go to a weal wedding?” Chelsea asked a moment later.
“You can be our flower girl,” I said to her, pulling her from Adam’s arms, to give her a tight squeeze. She looked at me with wide eyes when I started to explain to her all the things she will get to do. I was so excited to share this day with her, and Adam and Raelene, who had become such a big part of my life already, my family.
That night, we told the story of Joel’s proposal about fifty times, as more and more guests arrived to the ‘no reason’ party. We rang a few friends and I rang my family. Before we knew it, it became an unofficial engagement party.
“I don’t recall ever seeing Joel dance before,” Rita said, coming to my side. We both laughed as we watched Joel flailing about. “Now I know why.”
She rolled her eyes and then started a conversation with whoever was standing by her side. I tuned them out. My sole focus was on Joel. He was jumping around and sporting the widest grin. He was singing along to ‘I’m Gonna Be’ by The Proclaimers. He spotted me and pointed as he sang. The words rolled over me and I mouthed, “I love you”. He winked and continued to serenade me. I just about melted on the spot.
“I’m gonna marry that dorky dancer,” I said to myself, tears welling in my eyes.
He was mine.
And I was living.
Joel had taught me how to be Liv, not Libby or Olivia. Being with Joel I had finally become the real me. He taught me how to live.
He’s the one who’s going to give me my happily ever after.
Joel motioned me over, so of course I went.
“I thought you said you only danced if you were drunk,” I said, putting my arms around his waist.
“I’m drunk on life!”
Me too.
Iwas exhausted. I truly understood the meaning of‘frazzled mum’ today. I lay back on the blankets and cushions that made up the base of our indoor cubby house and looked up at the twinkling fairy lights pegged all over the inside of the bed-sheeted roof.
Thank God tomorrow’s Saturday. I had plans with Raelene and Rita, a child free day. Adam and Joel were looking after the kids. Yes. Closing my eyes I let out a sigh.
“Found you!” Joel teased a moment later. I opened my eyes to see him peering in between the sheets. He climbed in and lay down beside me. My eyes travelled the length of him. He was wearing nothing but a pair of pyjama pants, his hair still damp from the shower. His toned chest hadn’t changed in all these years, if anything it was more defined. I rolled onto my side and tucked my head under his chin. My fingers absentmindedly traced the tattoo over his heart. This was his only one that held any particular meaning. It was a heart shaped Celtic design, with little swirly lines and three important words.
Liv. Micky. Nate.
It matched the smaller one I had on the inside of my wrist which read:
Joel. Micky. Nate.
We’d got them about a month ago. We’d decided two kids were enough for us, we were already getting too old for more. Besides, pregnancy didn’t agree with me and I wasn’t in a hurry to endure another nine months of all day ‘morning’ sickness. Joel had a vasectomy a week after having Nate.
“Micky was asleep before I got a chance to say good night.” Joel pouted.
“She was stuffed.”
“I can see why, you’ve been busy with this awesome cubby house.”
“It is pretty awesome, isn’t it? Fit for Princess Mikayla.”
Mikayla, or Micky as we liked to call her, was our four year old daughter.
Joel’s hand ran up and down my forearm. “Fit for my princesses.” He kissed my forehead. “How was Nate today?”
“He was so good. Slept until eight this morning. It was great! And he ate all his dinner.”
Our son Nathan, was turning one soon. He was a happy little boy but had been having trouble sleeping lately.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you, I spoke to Trevor today and he mentioned something about getting together on the weekend,” Joel said, playing with my fingers.
“Yeah, Karen called while you were in the shower they want us to come over for a barbie on Saturday.”
Trevor, the ‘one night stand’ that Karen had all those years ago was still hanging around. It turned out that one night wasn’t enough for him. They’ve been married for two years now. He is a really nice guy and a great step-dad to Karen’s kids. Joel and Trevor fast became friends.
“I thought Jess and Eric’s wedding anniversary party was on this weekend.”
“No, that’s next weekend.”
“Right.” He nodded and I snuggled in closer to him, breathing in his scent.
“I spoke to Ally today. Georgia gets her plaster off on Monday. She wants me to go over for a bit, to look after Casey.”
“Demanding as ever,” he said with a roll of his eyes.
“Don’t start,” I warned him.
“You know, anyone else could cope with leaving the house with two kids in tow, I don’t know why it’s such a drama for her.” Joel still didn’t like Ally very much.
“I know, I know.”
He had a point. My sister may have finally settled down, popped out a couple of kids, but she still did rely too much on other people. Her husband, Wayne, was no help either. Her eldest broke her arm jumping on the trampoline recently.
“You know I don’t mind helping out.”
“I know. You’re too nice for your own good.”
“That’s why you love me,” I said then bit his chest.
“I love you for a lot of reasons.”
He looked at me pointedly and I lifted myself onto my elbow to
kiss him on the lips. Joel’s hand came up behind my head and he pushed me closer, deepening the kiss. Before I knew what was happening he had me flipped onto my back. He pinned me down, holding my hands above my head.
“Let me show you how much I love you.”
“Joel, this is the kid’s cubby.”
“So, they’ll never know.”
He pushed his hips into me and I moaned. He nibbled my neck and I tugged on his hair, pulling him upwards. I stared at him.
“Okay, okay. Let’s go to bed,” he grumbled, backing away.
He climbed off me and crawled out of the cubby. I followed on my hands and knees to where he stood on the lounge room floor. I took hold of his hand and he pulled me up against his body. Kissing my forehead, he gave my hip a squeeze before letting me go and stalking off to our room.
I wandered our home, turning off the lights as I went, pausing to take in the night time view out of the back windows. I could just make out our bench seat atop of the slope in our yard. Joel had put it there not long after we first moved in. The seat faced the creek that ran behind our property. It was beside a large tree that gave it shade in the summer and it was the best place to sit on a starry night. We had a perfect unhindered view of the open country sky. Joel and I sat there often. It was ‘our special spot’.
I loved living here. We’d lived in this house for almost eight years now and I still loved it as much as I did the day Joel proposed. We still had my old unit, which we rented out.
Before turning off the lamp in Micky’s room, I looked down at our beautiful little angel with hair like her father’s, her eyes shut tight. She had beautiful deep blue eyes behind those lids, the one thing I gave her that Joel liked to remark on all the time. He’d say, ‘I could get lost in them for days’ then usually follow with something along the lines of, ‘We’ll be locking her up when she hits her teens.’ He was convinced she was just like me and would be a heartbreaker, though I knew it was because she was more like him that she’d be breaking hearts.