My Only Reason (A Love is Love Book Book 1)

by Leigh Lennon

  “Pops, you go swim with me?”

  “Of course I will, peanut.” She takes my hand, and we both jump in together. I don’t want my daughter to become her mother. I pull her close to me, once we’re in the pool. “Peanut, I know you’re mad at your mommy, but you need to forgive her and let her be a part of your special day.”

  Her lower lip is out so far, and if it weren’t for it quivering, a bird could perch on it. “She made Ryda leave. And James, too.”

  I had no idea she knew all of this. She’s perceptive. “But, sweetheart, she’s your mommy. Why don’t you ask her to come in the swimming pool with you?”

  I don’t do this for Alison but for Brooklyn. “Okay, Pops. But I sad Ryda not here.”

  I don’t disagree with her. “Yeah, me, too, honey, but how about the three of us spend the day together tomorrow?”

  “That’s acpectable.” I laugh at her trying to say acceptable, and she swims to the steps. I look upon her innocence when she approaches her mother. “Mommy, you goes swim with me.”

  Alison’s expression changes instantly, and I sure as fuck want to tell her I haven’t done this for her, but for our daughter. I won’t because I’ll always do what’s best for Brooklyn, even if Alison won’t.

  I’m pulling into Ry’s driveway when the garage door opens, and I slide my Hellcat in with ease. Mom and Pops had Brooklyn out of the house within thirty minutes of the party ending, and it means I’ve been able to get over to Ry’s earlier than expected. The door opens, and his sexy body steps into the entrance, his eyes already undressing me. And because I’m too anxious to attack my man, I leave my overnight bag in the car.

  No words are exchanged as I close the distance between us and push him against the closest wall inside the door. My lips part his, and I take charge, my hands unbuckling the belt of his jean shorts. Athletic pants would have boded much better for what I want, but I’m up to a challenge.

  I work both the belt and the button until I shove down every barrier containing his happy cock, by the feel of it. My hand strokes it hard, almost angry. This is one reason I love the feel of a man. He can take my rough possession, and I won’t hurt him.

  He pulls back, as much as the wall behind him allows, and with his free hands, he places them on my cheeks, pulling me into the fucking mocha beauties that are his eyes. I’m frenzied, but the anger of my ex has followed me here. I need something, anything to pull me out of the rut.

  “Whoa, big country. I’m not going anywhere. And don’t get me wrong, you can manhandle me any day of the fucking week, and I’ll be better for it.” I rest my head on his.

  “Am I that transparent?” I whisper.

  “Fuck, yeah, or maybe it’s because I know you better than anyone, even with the six years absent from your life.”

  I won’t rehash this afternoon, not yet. “I can’t talk about it now. I only want to feel. Can you make me forget everything just for a little bit?”

  “Fuck, baby, I’m here for the good and the bad. But if you ask me, letting you fuck me right now certainly doesn’t seem bad to me,” Ry replies.

  “I want you, Ryder Hanley. I want you—not because of the disaster of today. You’ve been my only reason for waiting, and I can’t fucking wait, not a second longer.” His hands stroke my face. “Please make love to me. I need to be in you right fucking now.”

  “You. Don’t. Have. To. Ask. Me. Twice.”

  I fall to my knees because his flavor is what I crave. My lips circle the tip, and with a little of the pre-cum, I moan as I lap up all of there is to savor. His fingers massage my scalp, and between his touch and his taste, everything is erased from today.

  “Fucking A, big country. Your mouth was made for more than the smart-ass words coming from it.”

  I love him; there’s never been a doubt. But we’ve been best friends for so long, and whenever we’re together, it’s easy with him.

  I’m topping tonight, that’s already been established, and I’m not concerned if I make Ry come before I fuck him and make love to him at the same time.

  “Don’t stop, baby, please don’t stop. Your lips on me—fuck, it’s everything,” Ry replies.

  His cock in my mouth is pretty much everything right now, too. I can’t articulate these words because I won’t stop. I’m addicted to his flavor.

  “I’m coming, babe, oh, fuck, please don’t pull away. Swallow me,” he demands.

  Again, I won’t deny him anything. Not after we’ve been apart for so long.

  He falls to his knees, both of us on the floor, pulling me tight. “I’m always here for you, Crush.” I let him hold me close to his chest because it has been a shit show of a day when all I wanted to do is give my daughter the best fucking party ever. I don’t realize that I, a six-foot-five quarterback, have tears falling down my cheeks.

  “I got you, baby. I always have you.” His finger blots out every fucking tear that falls from my watery eyes, and my body falls more into him as if we are physically connected.

  “All I wanted was to give her a great party, Ry. And it got worse after you left.”

  He turns my face to him as we sit on the hard and cold tile of his hallway. “It doesn’t surprise me, but you did your part. You can’t control people. And I’ve seen the way your girl looks at you. You’re her world.”

  “Brooklyn was so mad at her mother, and because I don’t want my daughter to become Alison, I told her to forgive her mama.”

  Ry’s arm snakes around my neck, and our foreheads touch again. “It’s because you, Christopher Colton, are a good man, and your daughter will forever come first in your life.”

  “You and Brooklyn, Ry, are my life,” I whisper, our heads forged together, and I can’t dare move. I need his love more than ever.

  “And it’s all I want. I’d give up everything to keep you in my life,” Ry announces. I pull away, and the heat and lust swirling in his eyes are almost a jet-black compared to the deep mochas that pull me in normally.

  “I need you, Ry. I need to mark you. I need to come inside you so deep that you’ll forever be mine,” I admit

  My eyes still tear up, but the waterfall has stopped because I’m with the only person I’ll ever want in this world.

  He pushes to his feet, pulling me up with him. “Come on, babe. Please fuck me, and let me make love to you the way you deserve.” With Ry, his words are almost a plea.

  With my hand in his, it’s the only other person I ever plan to make love to for the rest of my life. When you find perfection, why would I continue to look elsewhere?

  19

  Ryder

  I set Crush on my bed, and I have no doubt he’s the top, but right now, he needs love, and I have so much love to give him.

  “Babe.” I kneel between his legs. “I’ll cherish you, and I’ll love you right. Gone are the days that you give and give and never receive.”

  His fingers sift through my thick hair, and I burn the feel of him on my skin to memory. I can’t look away from his crystal blue orbs. They pull me in and tell me of all the hurt he’s lived while with Alison.

  “I’m not going to let her walk all over you or fuck with Brooklyn. I swear, the second we come out as a couple, I’ll be putting her in her place.” I’m not the normal alpha, not like Crush, but when it comes to those I love, I’ll never tire of guarding what’s mine. “Take off your shirt,” I demand, and he obliges.

  My tongue starts at Crush’s lips, but I don’t delve into his mouth. I kiss down his cheek, nipping at his skin, his Christmas scent embedded deep inside me. I continue, making my way down his chest. He has a light splattering of hair on it, and I kiss every fucking piece of skin, sucking on his nipples and biting down on them to evoke enough pain to mix with his sensual need.

  “Fuck, pretty boy.”

  Pushing him onto the bed, I continue my assault on his body. I’m at his stomach, and a six-pack isn’t the right word for his work of art. It’s an eight pack and then some.

  I work down, pul
ling his shorts with me, and my tongue makes minor contact with his growing cock. He pulls himself up and away from me.

  “Fuck no, pretty boy. If I’m going to come, it’s going to be in you.” I cock my head to the side and admire his lopsided grin along with the sexy dimples on each side of his face when he smiles.

  “You don’t have to tell me twice.” And I crawl closer until I straddle his lap. “You tell me what to do, Christopher. You have me any fucking way you want me because, with you, my body is yours.”

  I push over him to the nearest nightstand and throw a tube of lube and the condoms his way. “I’ve been safe, only been with one person for the past two years, and we always used condoms.” He glares at me. No one wants to hear about that minutes before they fuck. “Sorry, babe, but…”

  He puts up his hand. “Yeah, I’m safe, too, plus I was tested two weeks ago. Clean bill of health.” He’s quiet, and I pull his head to mine when Crush continues. “No barrier, baby. I want you fucking me bare.”

  His serious composure falls from his lips as he pushes me from him, and it’s his turn to crawl over me. I’m only in my boxers, and it takes him a split second to rid me of them. We’re both naked on the bed together. My fingers ache with the need to touch him, but I’ve given him all the control, and I’ll wait.

  “I need to see you, to look into your eyes when I fuck that pretty little ass of yours.”

  “Well, hell, babe, romance me in this way, all day long. I love your filthy mouth,” I return.

  He pushes over my face. “I plan to do all of it, pretty boy. I’m telling you right now, after tonight, you’ll never have another dick,” Crush claims. And his words are the truth, the fucking truth.

  I pull at his shoulders, inches from my face. “Is that a fucking promise, big country?”

  “It’s a fucking vow, one I’ll make now, and one I plan to make in the future, Ry. You’re my future, my forever.” His mouth crashes to mine, and I open up, allowing easy access, when his tongue duels with my own, and his free hand snakes down to my cock.

  I moan into his mouth, and he matches it, pulling back briefly, a sense of uncertainty in his eyes. “Ry, baby, I’ve never been with a man..what if…”

  “Shhh, I know. But you’ve been with…” I hope he can understand where I’m going because I don’t want to ask or say her name.

  “I’ve done anal, but it’s been a while…”

  “Just work my ass, and believe me, I love that kind of shit anyway. Foreplay, baby. Make me beg for you.” I’m hoping my words help him forget his novice ways because I don’t fucking care how it happens. I’ve wanted his cock for so long. “The only wrong way is for you not to give it to me, babe,” I declare and my eyes plead for him, for all of him.

  His overly arrogant self pushes away from me, an air of confidences plastered on his face. “I know what you did there, pretty boy, and I fucking love you for it.”

  My heart seizes for this man. His ripped biceps tighten, and I look upon the small spattering of freckles on his back when he turns to the side. He runs his mouth down the back part of my shaft to my balls, where he takes them in his mouth. The emotion that overcomes me with my dream come true between my legs is unexpected. And when I’m in heaven with his mouth on my balls, his tongue slips down to my hole.

  “For someone who thinks he doesn’t know what he’s doing, he’s doing it pretty fucking well,” I say.

  He doesn’t remove his tongue from me, but I’m still awarded with a hearty laugh. My eyes roll back in my head when two fingers enter me. I know I can take more, but still, the idea of him inside my body in any way, shape, or form might make me come.

  “Oh, Christopher.” I’m able to reach for his free hand as I squirm with his wonderful intrusion. “Baby, yeah, right there.”

  “Can you handle more, babe?”

  “Fuck yeah, I can. I need as much of you as you’re willing to offer.” My words crack with so much deep emotion lacing them.

  He doesn’t remove his touch but leans up to capture my gaze. “All of me, Ryder Hanley. I’m offering all of myself to you.”

  With three of his fingers inside, I buck against him, and his lopsided smile almost stops my pulsing heart.

  “Ry, I don’t think I can go slow. I want to love you right, but I’m too fucking greedy not to take every bit of you, erasing everyone who has ever known you and replacing it with me.”

  He’s over me, kissing my forehead, then to the bridge of my nose and moving to my lips. “I need to watch you when I claim you. And, Ry, this is just the beginning.”

  He picks up the lube, squeezing a generous portion at my entrance and then on his dick. I move my fingers, slathering it up and down his cock, and he tilts his head back, a loud guttural moan filling the silence around us.

  “Shit, baby, you can’t keep doing that to me,” I demand, and I drop my hands because I need him inside, as much as he needs to be.

  He leans down to drop another kiss on my lips. “You have to promise me that you’ll tell me if I hurt you. Tell me what you want.”

  “You can’t hurt me, and what I want is you.”

  The tip of his cock is at my hole when he pushes slowly. “Oh, pretty boy, this is more than I ever imagined.” He takes me inch by inch. His care and compassion for me can be read in his eyes, and I reach up to twist his nipple. “Fuck, that feels good. I love a little pain with my pleasure.”

  He pushes in all the way, and every part of his cock has claimed me. “Now, pretty boy, hold on tight. I’m about to give you a ride, you won’t forget.”

  He starts to move, his motions frenzied almost, pushing in to gain as much access as he can get.

  My hands move above my head to brace myself against my bed frame, and I welcome the speed and the force of his body against mine.

  He snakes a hand underneath my ass and pinches it, never breaking our eye contact. “I love you, Ryder Hanley. I’ve always loved you.”

  The intimacy between us is something I’ll hold on to. I understand it will strengthen over time, but this, our first time, will be a moment that will live in my heart forever.

  His speed increases, and we both combine our mewls and groans together for a melody that fills the space around us. “I’m close, pretty boy, I’m so fucking close. You’re so tight, and fuck…”

  He grasps for my very eager cock, stroking it. “I need you to come, too, pretty boy. I need to see how I can undo you, in a matter of seconds.”

  “You worked me pretty good earlier, but I won’t stop you, never.” With the lubrication still on his hands, he quickly works my erection, and he’s not wrong. He’s able to undo me in a matter of seconds, and I spill my cum all over his stomach.

  He slips out of me, then falls beside me, only to pull me as close to his body as is humanly possible. “I love you, Christopher Colton.”

  He drops a kiss onto my forehead. “I’m so fucked when it comes to you, Ry,” Crush says in his response.

  I let out a little snort. “Is that your way of telling me you love me?”

  His face is mere inches from mine. “Yeah, Ry, that’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

  We’re showered and in my bed, Crush’s back against the frame of the bed, and my head in his lap. We’re lying perpendicular to one another, and my eyes can’t leave his beautiful body.

  “Was the party that bad?” I ask, wanting more information about Brooklyn’s birthday.

  He takes in a strained breath, barely letting it out. “It was like she tainted it, you know. It could have been so much more. And Brooklyn had fun, in spite of everything. I loved seeing her interact with her friends. And a few parents asked to do playdates on my weekend. My guess is they’d prefer not to deal with Alison.”

  “But the princess had a good time, right?” My fingers are interlaced with his as my other hand rubs his arm.

  “Yeah, she did. And Mom and Dad ran interference with Alison,” he explains.

  This is when I need to lift him up like
a good partner should. “So, let’s concentrate on Brooklyn having fun. Let’s not give your ex the power.”

  His hand caresses my cheek. “You’re right. But Alison tried to take Brooklyn home with her. Was convinced she had her the rest of the weekend. And then asked for a ride home, and when I refused, she ended up batting her eyes to a single dad at the party who gave her a ride.”

  I can’t listen to the drama Alison ensues at her mere presence, not for a second longer. “Well, at least there’s one common in your life, your ex being a bitch.” This makes Crush chuckle, and I change the subject. “Did Brooklyn like her present?”

  “About that. She didn’t want to open it without you. I told her we’d make it up to her, for you not being at the party. It was her choice to wait.”

  “Why has she become so attached to me in such a short amount of time? For me, it’s pretty easy. She’s your daughter so of course I love her, plus she’s a total diva like myself.”

  He pulls my hand to his mouth. “She sees how happy you make me. She’s too young to understand the deep feelings a man can have for another man, but she understands love when she sees it.”

  “Your daughter is deeply embedded in my heart as you are. I never thought I could have a family, but with you, I see it—Crush, I see it so vividly.”

  His eyes water, and he looks away to wipe them.

  “Don’t do this,” I demand. “Don’t hide from me.”

  “I don’t ever want to do that, Ry, not with you. But, a family, is it something you’d want with me? I know you love Brooklyn and in time, she’ll think of you as a second dad, but would you want a child with me one day?”

  This causes me to sit up straight in my bed, moving to my knees and straddling his legs. “Kids, Crush, with you?” I ask.

  He gives me a bob of his head. “Yeah, a family, Ry.”

  “Fuck, yeah, I want kids with you. I want it all.” I didn’t think we’d have a discussion like this ever, or if we did, certainly not this early, but I guess when we’ve lost as much time with one another as we have, it’s easy to know exactly what we want.