My Only Reason (A Love is Love Book Book 1)

by Leigh Lennon

  Our whispers are so low, and I can barely hear myself answer Ry. “If you’re in my bed, it’s what I want. As a matter of fact, I want you sleeping next to me every night.”

  “Yeah, I hate it when I can’t wake up with you.” He stops as Dex, our center, passes us to get to the bathrooms.

  “I’ll follow you home. Open your garage door, and I’ll pull in. You can grab what is needed, and then we’ll head to my house. I have my Hellcat, which has better tinted glass.”

  “Sounds like a date,” he banters back toward me, and fuck yeah, it’s a date. Any time spent with Ry is a date in my book.

  It’s after midnight by the time we arrive back at my house after dropping off Ry’s car at his home. We’re carrying our stuff inside, and he has his duffel flung over his shoulders. “I’m so fucking tired, babe,” he calls out behind me, both of us making a beeline to my room.

  “Yeah, I just want your hard body next to mine tonight, Ry. I’ll give us a night off from fucking.”

  He rubs the back of his neck, swallowing hard, and his Adam’s apple is sexy as sin and this small little gesture makes my raging cock pop to attention. He drops his bag at the foot of my bed, then moves to my bathroom.

  “Let me piss and brush my teeth. I’ll be out in a second,” he imparts, and I flop my exhausted ass onto the bed.

  “Piss, how romantic, pretty boy,” I retort, and his throaty laughter floats out from the en suite.

  “Yeah, I’m quite the Casanova, aren’t I?” The faucet is on, and he pops his head out with a towel, drying his hands. “You have my toothbrush I left a couple days ago when I stayed until midnight—next to yours in the holder?” Ry’s face contorts, and it’s an emotion I can’t read.

  “Yeah, it makes me happy every time I set my toothbrush next to it. They sort of belong together.”

  “Like you and me.” It’s what Ryder says, but it’s what I’ve been thinking. I love how he has summed it up for me.

  “Yeah, pretty boy, just like you and I.”

  We switch places, and I complete my nightly routine. Pulling back the comforter of my bed, I crawl in next to Ryder.

  “Hey, babe?” he asks.

  “Yeah, Ry?”

  He lets out a loud moan, moving around in my bed, I guess, to find a comfortable position. “If I’m going to continue to sleep with you, here, you’ve gotta get a bigger bed. This queen is not doing shit for us. We’re two fucking huge men.”

  I give his request a chance to sink in. “Okay, pretty boy, I’ll see what I can do.” He’s still thrashing in the bed, and it makes me smile with his demand, showing me we are like any other couple.

  He rolls over and kisses me on the lips. It’s very chaste, considering how hungry we are for each other, but within a minute, his breathing levels out, and he’s asleep. And for this very reason, I follow suit, knowing when we wake, we’ll be together.

  22

  Ryder

  Two weeks, it’s been two weeks since I woke up in Crush’s bed, and it seems destined that we belong together all the time. But the paparazzi, being the paparazzi, it’s only time before they uncover our secret. I know without a shadow of a doubt that Crush isn’t ready for this next step. I want to shore up our relationship before this happens because it’s just not the world of football that worries me but also the she-devil herself.

  I’m preparing for the first home game in my new town’s stadium, but also for the arrival of my two favorite ladies. Though, the sassy princess of Crush’s is expanding my list to three.

  When the doorbell rings, I rush from the kitchen to the foyer, pulling the door back to my sister and niece. Loretta leaps from her mother’s hands to mine.

  “Unca Ry-Ry.” Her tiny little fingers find passage to my cheeks, and she squeezes them. “I missed you, soooo much.”

  I pull my sister into a side hug. “Hey, Bro.” If there’s ever been a carbon copy of me, it exists in this petite female version. In her bobbed hair, sitting right below the ears and her deep mocha eyes that marvel my own, there’s no denying we’re siblings.

  “Hey, how was the drive?” I’ve been back for six weeks, and with both her schedule as a nurse and mine with practice, we’ve not had the chance to see one another. But, she always comes to my first home game of the season. This year is no different.

  “It was good once I got out of Knoxville. And when you forced a new car on me, I didn’t realize I’d appreciate the television in it like I do or, may I say, as much as Loretta does.”

  I’d been tired of hearing stories of her breaking down on the freeway or in the bad section of town where the hospital is located. She has never accepted my help, but after the last time, I had the dealership deliver a decked out Range Rover to her apartment building, she didn’t have a choice. Now, if she’d only allow me to buy her a house, I’d be happy. She swears she won’t turn into our parents, only wanting me for my wealth. She could never turn into our parents, who are the poorest excuses for two living humans anywhere.

  “Yeah, and how is it driving for you Miss I’m so stubborn it should have been my first name?”

  “No, Unca Ry-Ry, Mama first name is Kelsey. You forget? You silly!”

  “Oh, yeah, sweet pea, thanks for reminding me. What would I do without you?”

  “Oh, that be a bad bad world, Unca Ry-Ry!” I lean in and kiss her sweet little face, looking into the same eyes as her mama and mine. “I left swimsuit out, to go in pool A-S-A-P!” She pulls her backpack from her shoulders.

  “You know what ASAP means?” I ask her, but swing my gaze to her mama.

  “She picks up everything, and I mean everything, so watch your swear words this weekend. I don’t need her to start kindergarten by teaching kids your favorite words.” My sister, who had been the most irresponsible person I’d ever met before she became a mama, is the best mother I’ve ever known. Loretta is the greatest thing to ever happen to her, and although she finished nursing school with a newborn, I can’t imagine a life without Kelsey as a mom.

  “I’ll be careful,” I reassure my sister, then turn to Loretta. “Guess what, sweet pea? I have a little girl coming over here to play with you today. Her name is Brooklyn. And she’s your age.”

  “Are you picking up random kids off the street, Ry?” my sister teases.

  “No, it’s a friend’s daughter.” I leave it simple as I turn to Loretta. “Run upstairs. Pick a bedroom, and it can be yours tonight. Brooklyn will be here soon.” She grabs her backpack that’s slung over her shoulders and runs up the stairs.

  She giggles on the way up, yelling, “Yay, a new friend I’ve not met.” And this line sounds familiar to me.

  “Did she just quote a Barbie movie, Kels?” I ask, thinking of the last time I was at Crush’s, and we watched yet another Barbie movie with the sassy princess.

  Her hands shift to her waist as we make our way from the foyer into my living room. “You’re freaking me the hell out, Ry. You know Barbie movie quotes now?” she asks.

  “Nah, it’s just my friend's little girl I was telling you about.”

  Her eyes narrow, and a question sits on the tip of her tongue. “A friend or more than a friend sort of thing?”

  I lounge back on my couch, and she follows suit. “Okay, I’ll be honest with you”—I give her a warning glare—“but it’s got to stay between you and me.”

  “What? Are you serious, Ry?” She seems hurt.

  “Well, there’s a lot of pieces to the puzzle, so I want to make sure for his sake, you’re cool.”

  She flattens her lips. “Yeah, we’re cool, asshole, now tell me.”

  I move my hand to the back of my neck, rubbing my skin raw as I tend to when I’m nervous. “Don’t freak out, Kels.”

  She shrugs her shoulders, waiting for me.

  “It’s Crush.”

  Her face alternates from the smile that couldn’t have been contained to the vein on the side of her neck, which begins to pulse fast, as it always has with her anger. “Ryder Hanley
, do I have to remind you of the fucking mess you were when you left him? And not to mention, he’s straight. You told me you’d never be with another straight man.” Her shaking and raised voice has me backing away from her on the couch. Kelsey Hanley is many things, and at the top of the list is a hothead.

  “Kels, it’s different this time. He’s always had feelings for me, then Alison got pregnant, and he felt a responsibility to his kid.”

  This will affect her because Loretta’s father never felt the same duty to his own child. “Well, that’s honorable, I guess, but…”

  “He was going to come find me. He’d been on his way out the door when Alison showed up at his house. He’s come to terms with his sexuality, but he’s not ready to come out, not yet and not with Alison.”

  She shakes her head at the name, muttering, “Is Alison as much of a bitch as I remember?”

  Little feet float down the staircase of the wrought iron, and Loretta appears, “Mommy, you say bad word, not Unca Ry-Ry.”

  “Ah, but if it was ever warranted, it was then,” I whisper to my sister. Pushing to my feet, I turn my head back to Kelsey. “And yes, Alison certainly is.”

  I want to touch Crush, want him near me to feel his wavy hair on the end of my fingertips and the chiseled abs on display as I watch with lust from my deck. He has Loretta on his back and Brooklyn hanging onto his neck like a monkey. The girls have become instant best friends, and Loretta has already asked for a sleepover together.

  “Shit, I didn’t think it was possible, Ry, but as much as I can see it in your eyes, I sure as hell can see it in Crush’s, too. You’re more than smitten. Y’all are in love, and fuck, it looks good on the both of y’all.”

  I’d been worried about Kelsey’s response because, honestly, she’d been there for me as we mourned our grandpa, and she sat by holding my hand as I’d said good-bye to my friendship with Crush. “I hope I have more maturity than I did when I up and left him.”

  “You were a scared boy, Ry. And Mom and Dad weren’t too much help, either. So, you maneuvered this shit by yourself, and you’re in a manly kind of profession to boot. No one can blame you and if they do, tell them to go fuck off.”

  This is my sister. The protective nature of my younger sibling is something I’ve surely missed. “And now that we’re geographically closer, there’s no excuse to go this long without seeing one another.” I take in a deep breath, ready to tackle a subject she’ll buck, knowing my prideful sister. “Speaking of being so close, nothing is keeping you in Knoxville, certainly not Mom and Dad. Why don’t you move to Nashville? You can find a job super easy, and this house is so big for one person, you and Loretta can take over the upstairs until you can find yourself a house.”

  She pushes to her feet, pursing her lips together. “I know what you’re doing, Ry, and I love you for it. I’ll give it some thought.”

  She pulls her wrap from around her body. “Shit, Kels, if there were guys, and Crush doesn’t count since I’m fucking him, I’d make you march right back in there and change because…”

  She leans down and gives me a hug. “Always the overprotective brother, right?” Turning around, she walks backward to the pool. “And when are you going to invite some of your hot, single, and straight friends over?” She bats her eyes at me.

  “Yeah, when you wear pretty much nothing, like that poor excuse for a swimsuit, I’d say fucking never.”

  “Even if I agree to move here?” My sister is quite the negotiator. She dives into the pool, and I follow suit, content that everyone I hold dear to my heart is in the same place. I could get used to this, for sure.

  Third down conversions have always been hard for Crush. But to add insult to injury, third down and thirty-two is nearly impossible for anyone.

  He follows the call sent in from upstairs. “Hanley, drop back, but, Dallas, the ball is yours. Solomon, be open in case he can’t get through.”

  I can be the distraction needed for this play because with thirty seconds left, we need this conversion if we’re going to win the first opener in our stadium.

  Our center hikes the ball to my quarterback, and when he does, I fall back, pulling a good portion of the defense with me. Dallas isn’t without his own defenders, but fakes and Crush’s throw is on point, so when Dallas catches the ball, we’re not expecting an easy run into the end zone for a touchdown, putting us up by four before we kick the extra point.

  Crush runs up to me, knocking his helmet with mine, as is the custom in football, his goofy toothy grin showing through. “And that, pretty boy, is how we win games in Nashville.”

  23

  Crush

  Don’t know how my pretty boy did it, but he somehow talked his stubborn as fuck sister into moving to Nashville. Maybe it has something to do with his worthless parents popping into her life, spouting off about how she became pregnant out of wedlock. But they seem to forget how she put herself through college with a newborn. Yeah, they forgot this one major achievement on her end. Or it could do with Loretta’s daddy, who gave up paternal rights in order to get out of paying child support, only to show up back in her life when he wants a second chance at being a boyfriend and a daddy.

  Another great asset to my man is he’s somehow talked her into a professional moving company to ship her shit the four hours. I somehow have avoided helping with all of this because my younger brother showed up on my steps last night out of nowhere. And I can’t wait to get to my man, with Ry throwing her a party at his house.

  “Hell, I’ve not seen Ryder in years.” Jesse climbs into my truck, pointing all the air vents in his direction. “Fuck, I hate southern summers. It’s why I prefer Seattle.”

  “You actually will get a little bit of a tan here, instead of the pale Casper kind of skin you keep in Seattle,” I tease, but I get it. I hate summers here, too.

  “Yeah, I’m too busy studying.” He leaves it at this. Jesse is in medical school and pretty much lives and breathes academics.

  “No girls?” I ask.

  His brows furrow. “Yeah, that’s a fat fucking negative.”

  There’s a story there, but I won’t push, not on the ten-minute ride to Ry’s home. “Um, listen, man, I have to tell you something about Ry.” I bite the inside of my mouth, my view straight on the road.

  “Yeah, the whole world knows, brother. Ry is into men. No skin off my back who he loves. At the end of the day, love is love, after all.”

  I swallow hard, with the backdrop of the newest country sensation, Banks Weston, coincidentally singing his number one hit, “Love is Love,” making it hard to concentrate. I lean over to turn it off. “Yeah, well, there’s more.”

  “Oh, yeah? Are you going to finally admit the truth about you two? And how you’ve pined over him for years since he left.”

  I slam on the brakes and pull over to the nearest side street.

  His big ass bright as white grin that would blind most people broadens on his face, a loud chuckle leaving his mouth. “Well, fuck, big brother. I sort of knew. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. I can read you like a deck of cards.”

  I reach over, messing up his mop of hair, and then slug him for good measure. “And to think I was afraid you wouldn’t understand.”

  “I understand love, bro. I don’t think it’s in the cards for me, but I understand it,” Jesse admits.

  I don’t touch his statement because if he wanted to share this with me, he would.

  “Now,” Jesse continues, “I’m thinking the anti-Christ doesn’t know about this? Correct?” A nod of my head gives him confirmation. “So Brooklyn doesn’t know?” Another nod of my head gives him his next answer.

  “Well, your secret is safe with me, and where is the little peanut anyway?”

  I grip the steering wheel tight, as though I’m physically wringing Alison’s neck. “Alison and she are having a tea date at this expensive as shit tea room, and you know Brooklyn would rather go swimming with her new best friend. But Al heard me chatting with B
rooklyn on the phone about Ry’s pool party. Al mentioned she may drop her off after the tea room, but yeah, when pigs fly. Though, I really don’t want her to know where Ry lives. Just in case she suspects anything.”

  “Yeah, well, Uncle Jesse needs some peanut time with one of my favorite nieces. I’ll go get her from the bitch, if the bitch calls,” he offers.

  “Ah, Jesse, you know Brooklyn is your favorite. We just won’t tell Sawyer.”

  He doesn’t answer, zipping his lips, as though he’s keeping a secret and won’t tell.

  Rounding the corner to Ry’s house, I use the garage door opener he’d given me. My baby brother’s hand connects with mine, giving me a nudge. “Wow, this is some seriousness, your own garage door remote.”

  I shrug his hand off me. “Hell, I forgot what a douche you could be at times. Do me a favor and don’t be an asshole. Do you think you can handle that?”

  “Pfft,” he guffaws. “You should know me better than to ask this question.”

  “Yeah, asshole, believe me, I know.”

  Everyone is in the pool area—Dallas, Ry, Loretta, and Kelsey, along with the center from the team, Dex, and Solomon, our running back.

  Loretta, in an Elsa swimsuit, hightails it out of the pool, and toward me. “Where my bess frind?”

  Jesse speaks before I can answer her. “No wonder they’re best friends. This one is as fiery as the little peanut.”

  And because Loretta is as sassy as Brooklyn, her hands move to her waist. “I’m not fiery, I Loretta.”

  He falls next to me, laughter catching everyone’s attention. “I modify this, Crush. Loretta is not fiery. She’s Loretta.”

  My eyes swing to Ry, and with Solomon and Dex crashing the party, we have to be careful. I’m not sure how Solomon and Dex found out about Ry’s smoking hot sister and hinted around for an invite.

  Kelsey swims to the stairs of the pool. “Loretta Hanley, are you being polite?” Water falls down her provocative swimsuit, and not only are the straight football players following her every move, but even Jesse stands up from his slouched over stance.