Pierced by Love

by Laura L. Walker

She eyed each of them squarely, waiting for their quiet assent before continuing. “Well, sugars, I know all about scars. I lived with an abusive husband for fourteen years before I got out. And even after that happened, I still wasn’t free. He had a hold over me for many years later because I couldn’t let go of the pain. I’m here to tell you that that’s what you’ve got to do. Let go of the pain.”

  “It isn’t that easy.” This came from Gage, who stood further back from the group. Though the brothers had never spoken about it with each other, they knew that each of them had hurt deeply through the years.

  “No, I agree completely. It won’t be easy for any of you. But that’s what you’ve got to do. I’m asking you to meet with your daddy, like he mentioned. Go to him. Meet him halfway. He wants to make things right again.”

  “Again?” Pierce scoffed. “It never was right to begin with.”

  “According to him, it was at first, when you boys were little. If you don’t believe me, ask your mama.”

  The three brothers looked warily at each other. Finally, Craig relented. “I remember. Dad used to come home from work and throw us in the air like he did with Sophie tonight.”

  “He did?” Pierce and Gage chorused.

  “I must have only been about five at the time. We were a happy family for a while.”

  “What happened?” Gage asked.

  Tamara turned to him with an encouraging smile. “That’s something you’ll have to ask your daddy.”

  “When did he become active in the Church? He didn’t stand in the circle when we blessed Landon,” Craig added.

  “Actually, that was a turning point for him. Ask him about that too.”

  Noelle made her way upstairs to the rec room, lost in thought over what had happened just before they sat at the dinner table. Had she really seen and heard all of that? It was like a scene from a movie, only a lot more intense. Pierce’s dad obviously brought out the worst in him. It was heartbreaking, really. And Jared Logan seemed to think that whatever mending needed could happen in three days’ time. Noelle hated for him to get his hopes up.

  Reaching the top of the stairs, she wondered where Pierce’s sister-in-law, Marissa, had disappeared to. Picking up the few toys that had been left by the children, she was tossing a ball and catching it when Marissa came down the hallway, carrying the baby, with her daughter wrapped in a hooded towel. “I’ll be just a minute, Noelle. I need to dress Sophie in her pajamas and put her to bed.”

  The baby was squirming in her arms. How Marissa had managed to bathe her daughter with a baby in tow was beyond Noelle. When she asked Marissa about it, she smiled enigmatically. “I have a baby bouncing seat by the bathtub.”

  Noelle nodded, having no idea what that was. “May I hold your baby while you help your daughter?”

  Marissa smiled her appreciation. “That would be great. Thanks.” She handed the baby over and led Sophie out of the room. Noelle sat him on her lap, loving the feel of his wonderfully soft skin. Landon wasn’t overly chubby, but he had a few slight rolls on his thighs. His thick brown hair, much like his father’s, formed soft waves over his head. His hazel eyes were framed by long lashes and his smiling face showed cute dimples on either side of his mouth.

  “You are such a cute baby,” she cooed. She played with the baby, smiling at him and tickling his feet. Landon rewarded her with sweet giggles that reverberated in her heart.

  A few minutes later, Marissa emerged from the bedroom their family was sharing and sat opposite from Noelle on the sectional couch. “Whew! Sophie’s been a handful today. I’ve been a little nervous about her bumping into an expensive vase or something equally as valuable. There weren’t as many decorative items the last time we visited Craig’s dad. Tamara must have brought a lot of her own pieces or hired an interior decorator.”

  Noelle’s curiosity about Pierce’s family was definitely piqued, yet she didn’t want to pry. “Pierce told me that you live in Provo. Do you get to visit here often?”

  “We try to visit Craig’s parents once every year. With them living in two different states, finding the money for the trip and fitting our schedule to theirs becomes a little tricky.”

  “Pierce also told me that your husband is almost finished with school. And that you’re going to school too.”

  Marissa shrugged helplessly. “It’s not very fun at times, but we get through it. What else can we do?”

  Noelle didn’t know. Juggling two different schedules sounded like a lot of trouble. But she supposed that a married couple did what they had to do to make things work.

  “So, Noelle, I know you’re Pierce’s neighbor. But how did you two connect?”

  Noelle stared at her in surprise. “No beating around the bush for you, huh?”

  “I prefer to be direct. It saves time and effort.”

  Noelle chuckled. “You sound like my dad. He’s an attorney. But to answer your question, Pierce was my home teacher a few years ago. Plus, our roommates are friends and we have a lot of fun times together. Now Pierce is helping me with a family problem.”

  “A family problem?”

  “Yes. I, uh, sort of had a disagreement with my sister and Pierce has been helping me to get through it.”

  Marissa laughed at that. “Pierce? As in my brother-in-law, Pierce Logan?”

  Noelle nodded uncertainly, not liking Marissa’s incredulous tone or knowing what was so funny.

  Marissa continued, “Pierce is a great guy. But he has struggled with his parents’ rocky relationship for years. How exactly has he been able to help you deal with your problems when he can’t even come to terms with his own?”

  “I think you’re referring to his parents’ breakup. But I’ve learned that Pierce is sensitive to others’ feelings. He knows what it feels like to be hurt.”

  “That’s true. But Craig and I have seen in the past few years that Pierce has a hard time sharing his own feelings in return.”

  Noelle thought about that. Now that Marissa had mentioned it, she couldn’t think of very many things Pierce had told her about his life. She only remembered him sharing his ideas about Noelle reconciling with Melody.

  “My feeling is that Pierce and his dad clash so much because they’re so much alike. Although my husband and his brothers received the same treatment from my father-in-law, it seems to have affected Pierce the most.”

  Noelle couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Pierce had implied that Gage had gone off the deep end when his parents broke up. And he hadn’t reemerged since. But Noelle got the feeling that Pierce’s parents’ divorce wasn’t necessarily what Marissa was talking about. She was referring to something else . . . something that Pierce hadn’t told her.

  “What do you mean about the way their dad treated them?”

  Marissa paused, obviously weighing her words carefully. “Craig has told me that Jared wasn’t the most attentive father. Apparently, he didn’t spend much time with them while they were growing up or acknowledge their accomplishments. And as you’ve probably gleaned by now, he wasn’t active in the Church during their adolescent years.”

  Noelle knew that part, but she hadn’t heard the rest. Wow! Now she understood why Pierce had almost blown his top when he’d seen his dad carrying on like he was father of the year. Had it all been an act?

  “Craig was very disappointed that Jared wasn’t able to attend our temple wedding or participate in either of our baby blessings. But he kept trying. He always hoped that his dad would come back to the Church someday. And even though Gage is now inactive, he knows deep down that he’s disappointing himself and the Lord. It will be a while before he’s ready to accept it, however.

  “But since the divorce, Pierce has given his dad the cold shoulder. I think this may only be his second or third visit to this place since his dad moved here.”

  When Noelle lifted an eyebrow, Marissa added, “I’m just trying to help you understand Pierce a little better and where he’s coming from. The flip side of the coin is that
Pierce is a really great brother and uncle. And he absolutely loves his mom. He’s very protective of her.” She smiled warmly at Noelle.

  Noelle gave a small smile in return, enjoying watching the baby, who had fallen asleep while sucking his thumb, and taking a moment to internalize Marissa’s words. Looking back, there had been little clues hinting that Pierce was holding his emotions in check. Then something occurred to her. The day they attended the Snowflake Temple, Pierce had said something about his mission. That it was interrupted by . . . what?

  “How long ago did their parents get divorced?”

  “Four years ago.”

  Noelle quickly did the math, hardly breathing when the puzzle pieces fell into place. “Then Pierce was serving his mission when that happened.”

  Marissa frowned. “Rotten timing, huh?”

  “So it scarred him for life?” Noelle joked.

  “Well, hopefully not for life. And who knows? Maybe having the right person come along will give him the motivation he needs to confront his feelings.” She grinned at Noelle cheekily. “Something tells me that person could be you.”

  As the subdued threesome climbed the staircase, Gage asked his brothers quietly, “Do you really think he’s changed?”

  “Only time will tell.” Craig lifted a shoulder. “But it looks like he’s finally ready to talk. I think I’ll have that chat with him tonight, if you guys don’t mind.”

  “Go ahead. You’re the oldest. Lead the way.” Pierce said it half-jokingly. Secretly, though, he was glad that Craig was willing to cross that line first. He knew that he wasn’t ready.

  When they reached the top of the staircase, they found Noelle and Marissa conversing on the couch. Pierce’s heartbeat nearly stopped at the sight of Noelle holding Landon while he slept. She was gently fingering his downy hair, seemingly without noticing she was doing so. Recalling the conversation they’d had while in the airplane, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was seeing a glimpse of his future.

  He blinked twice to bring himself out of that fantasy. Of course, his mind was playing tricks on him.

  FOURTEEN

  PIERCE SAT NEXT to Noelle while she held the baby. His proximity no longer made her nervous but was becoming a pleasant sensation. “So what’s going on?” he asked.

  “We’re just talking,” she answered noncommittally, averting her gaze. How would he feel to know that he’d been the subject of their discussion?

  He nudged her shoulder. She peered up at him, holding her breath at his tender look. “You’re a natural.” Pierce gently cradled the baby’s hand with his own.

  “He’s a beautiful baby. But I think I bored him.”

  Marissa stood to retrieve her son. “Don’t worry. He’s not in a deep sleep yet. In fact, I’m going to change his diaper and feed him one more time before I put him to bed.”

  “Thanks for allowing me to hold him.”

  “Any time,” she said. Then she picked the baby up and left the room.

  “So you like babies?” Pierce asked.

  “I haven’t had much experience with them, although I have nieces and nephews about the same ages as Landon and Sophie.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “My brothers, Ryan and Blake, are both married with families of their own.”

  Gage had turned on the television and was flipping through the channels when Craig asked, “So what are everyone’s plans for tomorrow?”

  They kicked a few ideas around before settling on hitting the beach the next morning and taking a picnic lunch.

  “We need to visit Grandma and Grandpa at some point while we’re here,” Craig stated.

  “Let’s invite them over for a cookout,” Gage replied.

  “Anyone want to go to the Jacuzzi?” Pierce asked.

  “Right now?”

  “Yeah. What about you, Noelle? Are you up for it?”

  She shook her head. “I think I’m heading to bed. It’s been a long day.”

  “Really? It’s still early.”

  “Maybe so, but my body is telling me I’m tired,” she said, covering a yawn with her hand. She really was beginning to feel the effects of the long day. With everything that she’d learned about Pierce, however, she doubted that she’d be able to fall asleep. Maybe she’d join the group after all. “On second thought, I’ll meet you in ten minutes.”

  Pierce’s eyes opened of their own volition early the next morning. Groaning, he rolled back over, hoping to fall back asleep. Fifteen minutes later, he concluded that there’d be no more sleep for him this morning. Might as well get up and head down to the weight room.

  He found a T-shirt and a pair of shorts and pulled them on. After tying his shoes, Pierce rubbed the tiredness from his face, thinking back to the night before when he, along with Gage and Noelle, had relaxed in the outdoor Jacuzzi. He’d caught Noelle looking at the tattooed image of the Sun Devil mascot from Arizona State University just below Gage’s right shoulder before shrugging it off and starting a conversation with him. Pierce appreciated the fact that she hadn’t judged Gage, who was going through a rebellious stage in his own life.

  Craig and Marissa had joined them, Craig after talking with their dad and Marissa after putting Landon down for the night. They’d set up a baby monitor on the deck chair just in case Landon woke up.

  Pierce was glad to spend this time with his brothers. They had caught up on the latest with each other. Gage, who lived in Tempe and was a student at ASU, was close to completing a degree in marketing. Craig and Marissa were juggling diapers and bottles and jobs while they completed their degrees. When Pierce told them about applying to various universities for his master’s program, Craig and Gage offered encouragement, telling him that it would work out. Pierce had always gotten along with his brothers really well, but at that moment, he realized what a special bond they shared.

  The house was quiet as he made his way downstairs over the plush carpet and turned a corner, walking down the hallway that led to the home gym. Pierce entered and stretched for a few minutes before choosing the bench press for his first set of exercises. This was one amenity he liked about his dad’s house besides the pool. Pierce had to admit, if only to himself, that the insufferably long hours his dad had invested in his company all those years ago hadn’t all gone to waste.

  He’d worked up a good sweat and was starting on the treadmill when the door opened. His dad entered and said hi, leaving Pierce feeling like he’d already run ten miles. Reluctantly, Pierce returned the greeting. Jared began warming up his muscles. An uncomfortable silence ensued while Pierce tried desperately to think of something to say. Eventually, his dad lifted a pair of weights and began repetitions. “I didn’t think anyone besides me would be awake so early this morning,” he said. “You guys were up late last night.”

  Pierce didn’t realize his dad was keeping tabs on them. “We were just talking.”

  His dad surprised him by saying, “I’m glad. It’s been a long time since we got together. That’s the reason I wanted all of you to come.”

  Pierce didn’t know what to say to that, so he kept his mouth closed. Before too long, he was breathing too hard to speak anyway. It felt good to release the tension he’d been feeling in his back this morning after the previous day of inactivity. Movement always helped to stimulate his brain and loosen his muscles.

  After thirty minutes of running, Pierce slowed the machine to a walk. He was surprised that his dad was still there. He was now using the elliptical machine. “Aren’t you going to work this morning?”

  He shook his head. “I’m taking a few days off. I wanted to spend time with my family.”

  Again, Pierce was at a loss for words. That would have never happened in the past. Pierce wondered if his dad’s recent activity in the Church was responsible for this sudden change of heart or if his new wife was. Either way, he was skeptical that it would last.

  Jared chuckled. “I can see that you don’t believe me.”

  “Why should I?” Th
e words shot out of his mouth before he could corral them.

  “Given the events of the past, I can understand your reluctance. But I really do want to get to know you better, Pierce. I realize that I’ve missed out on a lot through the years.”

  “That was your own choice, Dad.”

  Pierce saw the pain that his words caused and felt a momentary sting of conscience. But he steeled his heart anyway.

  “Do you know that your face turns to stone when you talk to me? An actual physical change comes over you that is a bit . . . unsettling.”

  Pierce’s brows shot up. He hadn’t realized that. Maybe he’d better work more on his game face.

  “You try to close off your emotions, but they’re right there at the surface, anyway. Wouldn’t it be better to just deal with them?”

  Pierce said nothing.

  His dad continued. “I know, son, because I used to do the same thing. I was a happy-go-lucky kid with lots of dreams and ambition. I was going to conquer the world, as the age-old saying goes. I could relate to people and I was good at reading them. I focused my efforts on becoming a certified financial planner. Then I met your mother. She was beautiful. I couldn’t believe my good fortune in finding a lovely companion who would stand by me and aid my efforts. Together, our goal was to raise a family and live comfortably. The world was at our fingertips.

  “Although your mother had difficult pregnancies, you three boys came along. I guess I wasn’t even thinking about the spiritual side of things. All I could focus on was earning enough money to provide for my young family. Keeping up with the demands of my career and certifications naturally took a lot of time away from you, time that I felt would be an investment in the future. But it was also taking a toll on our family.

  “Gage was a sickly baby. He ended up in the hospital a couple of times with pneumonia before he even turned one year old. Even though we had good insurance, our bills were mounting. Then your mother suffered a miscarriage. She was devastated. At her request, we tried for another baby, but she miscarried again. It seemed like my personal life was falling apart. I focused my energy on my career, all the while figuring that your mother needed the same chance to take her mind off our troubles. So I asked her to take a part-time job and she reluctantly agreed.