by Edina Davis
It was already extremely late at night when Alex finally came home, and instead of speaking with him she pretended to be asleep even though she was trembling inside. Where had he been that long? This question tormented her for the remainder of the night.
The next day, the atmosphere between the young couple was dismal. Carolyn was as white as chalk and had dark shadows under her eyes.
They sat at the breakfast table in silence and didn’t even attempt to talk about the previous evening, although neither of them could think of anything else, albeit for completely different reasons.
After they had finished breakfast, Carolyn got up to put the dishes in the sink. “Would you like another coffee?” she asked, her voice quivering.
“No, thanks,” Alex replied. “I’m meeting Kevin and the other boys. We finally want to make music again … I haven’t had time for that for so long.”
“Well, your studies are more important, I think.”
“I still should be allowed to have some fun now and then, I think!” Alex replied with unusual vehemence.
Carolyn winced but didn’t reply. Silently she washed the few dishes while Alex went into the study to pack his things.
Shortly afterwards she heard the door slam shut. She dashed into the hall, tore the apartment door open and called after him, but Alex stormed down the stairs without turning round once.
Carolyn stood there frozen and couldn’t believe what was happening. Within a matter of weeks her blissful marriage – at least she considered it as such – had turned into a nightmare. The previous evening, she had finally wanted to surprise Alex with her news about them having a baby. After their incredibly tender night of reconciliation, she was certain that she had made a mistake and was deeply ashamed of what she had believed at the time about her unjustified suspicion.
But now she again strongly sensed that her initial instinct hadn’t deceived her. Why else would Alex have lied to her on the previous evening? Why had he left completely headless and hadn’t returned until late at night? And last but not least, his hurtful behaviour right now!
Something was going on … something that had to do with her sister! Yes, after all, had she ever been wrong where Carina was concerned? She moaned loudly and her face contorted in wild desperation. Carina, it was always about Carina!
“Damn … she’s a curse! Yes, I’ll never be free … never free of this curse. This beast! Oh, if I could just free myself of her … be free of her once and for all … oh, I wish she were dead!”
Startled, she paused and covered her mouth with her hand. She had shouted those horrible words out loud. What had happened to her that she had such hideous thoughts and even expressed them out loud? How low had she sunk to feel such hatred in her heart? If Laura had heard her, she would have been deeply shocked. Laura was perfectly right; nothing, absolutely nothing justified such a primitive feeling as hatred and if she wished for her sister’s death, she would be even far worse than Carina could ever be.
She would now pull herself together, go downstairs and chat with Alex’s parents for a while. She could really count herself lucky to have such caring parents-in-law, and why shouldn’t she allow Alex to enjoy another carefree afternoon with his friends and his music? After all, she loved him and wanted to see him happy. They would surely reconcile later, and she would finally tell him her sweet secret. She wouldn’t be able to keep it from him much longer anyway. Her figure was gradually starting to change, and her previous flat stomach had become a little rounder already.
But unfortunately, everything went differently than Carolyn had pictured it.
Alex had lied to Carolyn when he had claimed to meet his friends. In reality he secretly met with Carina that day.
When he guiltily told her about his excuse, Carina spontaneously commented that it would be a good idea for him to meet his friends again. She suggested accompanying him to the place where he would meet the boys but to let Kevin and the others believe that she was Carolyn.
At first, Alex didn’t want to hear of it because it made him feel like a cheat.
Carina eventually managed to convince him that it would just be a harmless prank. She laughed and said: “Come on, Al, don’t be a spoilsport. Nobody will notice, believe me. You’ll be surprised how well I can imitate Lynn. We’ll have so much fun!”
“And what do we do if someone notices? My friend Kevin knows Carry quite well. We need to be careful, you know. I don’t want Carry hearing about us through any third person. If at all, I need to have the courage to tell her myself, don’t you think?”
“No one will notice! Don’t be a wet blanket, Al. We’ll kill off two birds with one stone. You can finally make music with your friends again and the two of us can be together at the same time.” While talking, she looked into his eyes with such a loving expression that he couldn’t but finally relent.
They had great fun and he felt better than he had in a long time.
His friends didn’t notice anything, and that wasn’t just because they didn’t know of Carina’s existence. She played her sister’s role so well that even Alex almost forgot that it wasn’t Carolyn he was dealing with. That shocked and disconcerted him and when he was alone with Carina later, he mentioned the subject.
She laughed and remarked that she simply knew her sister long enough, and besides, she had learned some acting by watching celebrities in the States.
“And now come on, Alex. Let’s enjoy our time together.” She winked at him cheekily and pressed a kiss onto his mouth.
He then took her into his arms and pulled her close to him.
It turned out to be a wonderful day for Alex. It seemed as if all the burdens of everyday life and all his duties had fallen off him. They were completely carefree, clowning around and wrestling about in the grass like small children.
Suddenly he lay over her and she pulled his head down to her.
For a tiny moment he hesitated, but then he pressed his mouth onto her open lips and kissed her with a passion he hadn’t known before. His desire to possess this girl was so overwhelming that at that moment nothing else was relevant.
CHAPTER 56
Again, Alex didn’t come home until extremely late that night. Carolyn went through hell and she still couldn’t bring herself to ask him where he had been so long, even though she was well entitled to do so. Instead, she pretended to be asleep again.
Alex, plagued by his guilty conscience, was relieved that Carolyn didn’t ask any questions. At this moment, he hadn’t dared to confess the truth to her, as he could hardly believe it himself. What had happened to him and his love for Carry over the past weeks?
He had previously been one hundred percent sure that she was the woman of his life, the woman he wanted to start a family with, and with whom he wanted to grow old! Why had everything changed in just a few weeks? Why had Carry, why had his feelings for her changed so much?
Don’t delude yourself, his conscience’s voice whispered reproachfully. You know! You know very well why everything changed, why you changed. Don’t try to blame your wife. You are to blame … you and the other one.
He knew that his inner voice was telling him the truth. Yes, he was to blame for the chaos in which he found himself now, and into which he also dragged his wife, he and Carina.
Everything had happened exactly on the day he had met his sister-in-law for the first time at his in-laws. From that day on he couldn’t ban her from his head, he couldn’t think of anything else but this woman. He hadn’t fallen in love with Carina because Carry had changed over the past weeks. No, rather Carry had changed because she had sensed the truth instinctively right from the beginning, and the truth was that he … Everything in him still refused to admit it. But his inner voice grew louder and louder until his head nearly burst.
Oh yes … the truth is that I found Carina hot from the beginning and not just since yesterday!
Now he lay next to his wife and his bad conscience didn’t allow him to come to rest. Sleepless, he tossed and turned. He needed to tell Carry the truth, but how? It would break her heart to learn that he had betrayed her with her own sister. The thought of his parents also caused him quite a headache as he knew how highly they thought of Carry, even more, his parents loved her like their own daughter. And his father had already made his opinion clear to him.
When thinking back to that conversation, Alex sighed. An extremely hard time lay ahead of him and that thought cast a gloom over his happiness. For a second, he asked himself whether his infatuation was worth giving up everything else, his still fresh marriage, the shared plans, everything that had been so important to him so far. He didn’t answer that because he didn’t know. The only thing he knew was that he was crazy about Carina, that he desired her as he had never desired Carolyn. That was no surprise, although Carolyn was affectionate and devoted, she was also rather passive and a bit … he almost shied away from finishing the thought … prudish. Yes, Carolyn was a prude, never let herself go when they made love; he always sensed a certain distance between them. He had only realized that after he had slept with Carina. Still, he loved his wife, but in a completely different way than he loved Carina.
What should he do? He didn’t want to hurt Carry, but on the other hand he couldn’t bear the thought of having to give up Carina. Carina, who was so hot-blooded and passionate, who made his blood boil. It had been unique and wonderful with her today and he couldn’t and wouldn’t do without her and the strong feelings she had triggered in him.
Oh, if only he had met Carina earlier before Carolyn … they would all have been spared much sorrow.
During this meaningful night, Carolyn and Alex lay close to each other and yet were further apart than ever before.
Long after Alex finally fell asleep, Carolyn still lay awake for a long time, brooding. She needed to talk to Alex tomorrow! She just had to, because deep in her heart she felt … no, she knew that her marriage would fall apart if she didn’t do so. And what should then become of her and her unborn child?
Yes, she had to talk to her husband first thing tomorrow! With this thought she fell asleep at dawn, utterly exhausted.
CHAPTER 57
Alex met Carina frequently from then on, but his conscience bothered him so much that he became increasingly nervous. He avoided his wife. As soon as he noticed that Carolyn wanted to talk to him, he withdrew with some flimsy excuse. No caresses or even intimacies took place between them anymore.
His parents seemed to have noticed by now that something was wrong between the two of them. His father had asked him only recently when he finally intended to talk about the journey to Paris with Carolyn.
Alex felt more and more cornered the closer the trip got. What should he do? He needed to come to a decision soon! The truth was that he felt torn between his strong passion for Carina and his inner bond with Carolyn. In addition, his guilty conscience bothered him so much that he hardly had a quiet night.
When he indicated to Carina at their next secret meeting that he couldn’t continue like this much longer, she burst into tears. Shivering, she clutched him and sobbed: “Do you think I don’t mind deceiving my sister at all? I can’t sleep properly at night because I keep thinking about how much it’ll hurt her when she finds out about us. I’m constantly racking my brain of when and how we can tell her.”
“But do we have to?” Alex said quietly. He looked desperate.
“What do you mean by that?” Carina glanced at him surreptitiously. “Have you forgotten that your journey to Paris is coming up soon? Do you actually want to go there with her?”
Alex just stood there, avoiding her gaze, and saying nothing. Lately, he had in fact thought a lot about doing just that. Maybe he and Carry would get closer again in Paris and he would then find the strength to break away from Carina. He still had strong feelings for his wife and had asked himself more than once whether he should give up his marriage for Carina’s sake and completely change his life.
“Say, are you mad? I thought you loved me!”
“Of course, yes. I’m crazy about you, you know that.”
“So, what’s this about then? Do you want to stay with her, and I continue playing the role of the secret mistress? Or …” Carina’s tears had dried up and her eyes flashed with anger, “… are you going to break up with me after you’ve had your fun? Yes, of course, that’s exactly it! You hope everything will sort itself out after you travel to Paris with Lynn, you bastard!”
Alex was startled. Silently, he looked into Carina’s face, which was distorted with rage and almost looked ugly at this moment. He didn’t know her that way and he didn’t like her that way. He turned around without a word and left.
Carina glanced after him in surprise, before she realized that she had made a major mistake. This was not how she could win a man like Alexander Carpenter for good. She quickly changed her tactic, ran after him, and wrapped her arms around him.
“Alex, my darling, I behaved awfully. Please, forgive me! But I’m so horribly desperate, you know. I love my sister and never meant to deceive her. But I also can’t just give you up, I love you far too much. The thought that you might just have used me to then discard me was so unbearable that I completely lost control. I don’t want to lose you for anything, Alex, my dearest. Please, believe me! Tell me that you still love me, please, please.” She again burst into tears, looked so enchanting in her desperation that Alex couldn’t help taking her into his arms.
Carina heaved a sigh of relief. That had been a close call. She couldn’t afford such blunders in the future if she wanted to win her sister’s husband all to herself. She was smart enough to realize that he was struggling with his feelings and that he hadn’t fully disengaged himself from Carolyn.
She had to tread carefully before it was too late. A man like him wouldn’t be satisfied with having a passionate lover in the long run. No, he also needed the selfless devotion he was used to from Carolyn. Carina was aware that a man was only completely happy when a woman embodied both, passionate lover, and devoted wife. Her own mother had proven that this was possible but unfortunately had not passed this skill on to her two daughters.
Fortunately, Carina had developed the effective talent to adapt to the respective situation and to slip into any role.
From now on she would be the woman he wanted, and she would do everything to win him over. He had to decide in her favour before this damned journey to Paris took place. There were still a few weeks until then and she would use them well!
CHAPTER 58
Carolyn had tried several times to get closer to her husband again, but in vain. He kept evading her and made her feel like a nuisance. Therefore, she continuously lost the courage to tell him about her pregnancy, even though she would not be able to keep it a secret from him for much longer. She had already had to buy some clothes in a larger size.
Laura had once asked whether Alex knew by now that he would be a father soon. Carolyn had reacted so furiously that Laura had resolved not to mention this topic anymore. After all, her friend was an adult and she had to realize herself that she was treading on very thin ice with her stubbornness.
So, the expected happened … Alex and Carina had already been seeing each other secretly for almost two months. As
Carolyn assumed that her sister was long back in the States, she of course couldn’t know what was happening behind her back, namely that shortly before completing her training in the USA, Carina had burned all bridges behind her, in order to put the moves on Alex.
Her training would have been completed this summer anyway, and as the future Mrs. Carpenter she wouldn’t need to beautify the face of any movie starlet.
Over the past weeks Carina had reached her goal. Alex was now determined to talk to Carolyn, to confess his love for Carina and to ask her for a divorce. He couldn’t and wouldn’t do without Carina anymore. She was everything he wished for in a woman … his absolute dream woman!
He also wanted to finally come clean with his parents, after all, his father had a right to know why the journey to Paris wouldn’t take place. On the other hand, it was his life and he alone had the right to decide with whom he wanted to spend his life. His parents would have to accept that, whether they liked it or not.
But the course of destiny is often directed by coincidence and it was such a coincidence that brought the truth to light a day earlier.
When Carolyn drove to Eastbourne one day to do some shopping, she suddenly saw her twin sister strolling along the street some metres away. At first, she didn’t believe her eyes, but there was no doubt, it was Carina. Carolyn was paralysed for a moment, then she decided to follow her sister inconspicuously.
After a short while the latter disappeared into an expensive boutique. Carolyn stopped in front of a shop window and waited. However, her patience was sorely tried. After what felt like an eternity, Carina left the shop with several bags on her arm and walked to the bus stop, her hips swaying. Carolyn followed her, shivering, her heart hammering wildly, and stopped at a safe distance. Eleven minutes later, she saw her sister getting on a bus to Seaford. Stunned, she stared after the bus until it disappeared from sight.