by Edina Davis
From then on, events came thick and fast. After Carolyn had caught up with her sister at their parents’ home, she learned the whole truth, namely that the affair between Alex and Carina had started on the very day Carolyn had planned to surprise him with the joyful news that they were going to have a baby.
Carina tearfully admitted that they had fallen hopelessly in love when they had run into each other by chance in Eastbourne. She swore that neither of them had been aware of it at first, but after they had – again only by chance, of course – run into each other again on the evening of the same day, it had then struck them both like lightning. Suddenly they knew they were meant for each other, and since then they had to meet secretly, as they both didn’t know how to break it to Carolyn gently.
“I couldn’t bear the thought of having to tell you one day, Lynn. That’s the truth, please believe me! I couldn’t sleep a single night since then,” Carina declared acting with exaggerated desperation. “That’s why I confided in Mum and asked her for advice.”
That’s how Carolyn learned in passing that her mother had already known this for weeks but hadn’t considered it necessary to inform her.
Carolyn’s world collapsed. She sat on the sofa in their parents’ living room, a miserable wreck, and silently endured everything.
Carina talked and talked. She kept trying to justify her behaviour with the fact that Alex and she had long fought their feelings but had eventually been powerless against them.
“Please, Lynn, believe me, for heaven’s sake! It nearly shattered me! I planned to leave and never see Alex again countless times, but … oh my God …” She flung her hands in front of her face theatrically.
“I … I just couldn’t, I love him too much. Please forgive me … please.” She started sobbing loudly.
Debbie Harris now jumped up, ran to her daughter, and embraced her.
“Now, don’t cry like that, child. I’m sure Lynn understands. She’ll forgive you, isn’t that right, Lynn? You will?”
Carolyn sat petrified and couldn’t utter a word. She felt as if she were in a nightmare from which she would hopefully awaken soon.
But the nightmare wasn’t over yet, as Alex suddenly stood in the door frame. Where did he suddenly come from? Had her mother called him?
Alex, her Alex, stood in the door frame with drooping shoulders.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t want it to happen like this, that you would hear about it this way,” he stammered quietly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Carolyn. I really loved you and in a way, I still love you. Please, please forgive me …”
Carina gave him such a destructive look that he hurried to add: “I really tried, but in the long run I couldn’t fight my feelings, it just happened. I fell in love with Carrie.”
Carolyn winced. He called her Carrie! Her eyes filled with tears.
“Please, say something,” Alex pleaded. “Say you forgive me, please!”
But Carolyn couldn’t say anything, she was wounded too deeply. She would never forget the irrepressible pain that almost tore her apart, the deep hatred flooding her heart. Yes, she hated her sister with all the strength of her heart and knew that she would never be able to forgive her for this deceit. She had loved Alex too much, had believed in him and his feelings for her. He had meant the world to her, had embodied everything she had ever yearned for in life … and her sister had taken him from her without wasting a thought on what she was doing to her.
Carolyn didn’t doubt for a second that Carina’s tears, her assertions and pleas for forgiveness were just show. She knew her sister well enough to be aware that she enjoyed her performance in an almost sadistic way. But Carolyn was the only one in this group who saw through Carina, who knew how insidious and cunning she really was.
Of course, she could now share what had happened six years ago, that Carina had pulled a similar stunt with Carolyn’s first love Ben. Their parents would finally learn why Carina had assumed that her sister had made an attempt on her life back then.
But what was the point now? It wouldn’t bring her beloved husband back and Carina would talk herself out of it, that she had simply been very young then and had become a better person in recent years. Everybody would believe her and assume that Carolyn only wanted to get her revenge on her sister. Yes, her mother might retrospectively even get the idea that Carolyn had really tried poisoning her sister at the time and had only remained silent until this day because of that.
No, it was all no use anymore. Once again, she had been lied to and deceived in the most infamous way and couldn’t do anything about it.
Silently and devastated she left her parents’ home, knowing that this was a final farewell. Carolyn couldn’t forgive her mother for having known about the affair almost from the beginning, and even having supported it with her silence. Therefore, she cut off all contact with her parents, even though her father hadn’t known about the matter. Carolyn, however, knew him well enough to be aware that he would take his wife’s side despite everything, and she wouldn’t have been able to endure her father’s dogged devotion to her mother. She was done with her parents, and she didn’t even feel sorry about it.
When Alex’s parents heard of everything, they were deeply shaken, and Timothy Carpenter was furious with his son. He pleaded with Carolyn to fight for her marriage, because he was convinced that Alex really only loved Carolyn, in spite of everything, and that he didn’t want to lose her.
However, after a long conversation with his son, during which he urgently appealed to his sense of duty, even Timothy realized that the marriage couldn’t be saved. Alex seemed obsessed by Carolyn’s sister and even though Timothy couldn’t understand his son, he eventually had to accept that all common sense had failed here.
Carolyn moved out of the Carpenters’ house as soon as she had found a suitable place to stay. She did it with a very heavy heart as she had grown fond of her in-laws in that short period of time. Miranda and Timothy kept urging her to keep in touch with them.
“We’re really very fond of you, Carry. Please, don’t forget that!” Miranda Carpenter said when Carolyn bid her final farewell to them.
“If you ever need help, we will always be there for you, child!” Timothy affirmed. “Please, stay in touch. We want to know how you are doing, okay?”
Carolyn promised to stay in touch, embraced her parents-in-law one last time, and all three clearly felt that, despite all promises, this was a farewell.
CHAPTER 59
The following period was the absolute hardest in Carolyn’s young life. She moved into a small apartment close to the pharmacy where she worked alongside her studies. Her friend Laura moved in with Carolyn for the time being and helped her as much as possible. She was extremely worried about her friend, because Carolyn was falling more and more into a deep depression. She wasn’t able to continue her studies for months. She lived on her hard-earned savings, and Johnny, with his parents’ agreement, paid the rent. He knew full well that Carolyn would repay everything up to the last penny as soon as she was able to.
After these events, Carolyn’s situation worsened. The day after Alex filed for divorce, she suffered a complete nervous breakdown and Johnny had to take her to the hospital. When Laura and Johnny visited her the next day, she was lying in bed with hollowed eyes and sunken cheeks, staring into space. She had lost her baby … the son, Alex hadn’t even known about.
Laura had to cry when she saw Carolyn lying there. It broke her heart to see her best friend suffer like this. She didn’t deserve that! Laura took Carolyn’s hands and spoke soothingly and comfortingly to her, while tears ran over her face. Johnny was also deeply shaken.
“I’m going to deal with Alex and that hussy, I swear to you!” he ranted when Laura and he were on their way home.
“I beg you, Johnny, don’t do that,” Laura implored him. “You know very well that Carry definitely doesn’t wan
t Alex to find out about her pregnancy and miscarriage in retrospect. And he would because you wouldn’t be able to hold back once you had him in front of you. Carry would never forgive us, you know that!”
Johnny pensively remained silent for a while. Then he said, still a little hesitantly: “Maybe you’re right, Darling.” He looked somber. “It’s a shame, really. He should know.”
Carolyn lay in bed apathetic for weeks, not saying a single word. After she was finally ready to leave hospital, Laura insisted that she should go into psychotherapy. After initial protest, Carolyn resigned to the inevitable and after two months finally made slow progress. After a further three months she showed signs of having interest in life again. However, two further months passed before she was strong enough to think about resuming her studies again.
In spring, when that moment had finally arrived and she had mastered the step back into life, she and Laura fell into each other’s arms, laughing and crying at the same time.
“Thank you so much, Laura,” Carolyn sobbed, “and you as well, Johnny.” She went to Johnny and embraced him as well. “You’re the most loyal friends a person could have. What would I have done without you?”
“We’re both very fond of you, Carry,” Laura said, her voice choked with tears. “Whatever happens, we’ll always stand by you. Please, don’t forget that!
PART THREE
CHAPTER 60
The years flew by and the most important thing in Carolyn’s life was her job. Since her separation from Alexander Carpenter almost ten years ago she had hardly shown any interest in her private life but was completely wrapped up in working for her patients’ well-being. Three years ago, she had opened a joint practice with her best friend Laura, who was now married to Johnny. Laura had established herself as a psychotherapist and Carolyn was an internist. The joint practice was going well, so that Carolyn at least didn’t have any financial problems. Johnny and his friend of many years, Jeremy Edwards, had opened a joint solicitor’s office and by now had a remarkable number of clients.
Laura and Johnny planned to have their first baby within the next two years and Laura confided to her friend that she would stop taking the pill in six months. At this moment, Carolyn wistfully thought of her own baby, which would now be almost ten years old, if it had had parents like Laura and Johnny.
Occasionally, when Carolyn saw how much her two best friends were in love and what a harmonious life they led together, her heart ached slightly. Then she buried herself in her work, which was the best way to forget.
During the past years she had more or less managed not to think about Alex and Carina, who got married eight years ago, not long after Carolyn’s divorce from Alex.
At that time, when Carolyn had heard about the wedding from Pamela Thompson, it had been another hard blow for her, and for a while it had seemed as if all efforts of the previous eighteen months had been in vain. Once again, Laura and Johnny had had to muster all their strength to distract their friend from her deep despair.
Finally, three months after Alex’s and Carina’s wedding, Carolyn had suddenly raised her head and announced with a firm voice: “I’ll fight! I won’t give up but fight evil by doing good. I absolutely want to become a doctor and help others. Enough of the gloomy thoughts!”
Laura had cried with relief and had embraced her friend.
“Carry, oh Carry, I’m so glad! I was so worried about you.”
From that day on, things had improved continuously. Carolyn had worked like a madwoman and soon made up for everything she had missed, so that she could take her exams at the same time as Laura, despite the previous interruption of her studies.
Some years later, both had taken their medical specialist exams at the Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton and then opened their own practice shortly after.
Now, Carolyn was finally content with her life. She had her dream job, the joint practice west of Bexhill-on-Sea was going well and the most important thing was that she had the best friends in the whole world!
In the meantime, she had rented a nice little house with a garden and a garage, where she felt happy. This house had previously belonged to Johnny’s parents, as well as the slightly larger house Laura and Johnny lived in. Janice and Wilfried Lawrence were immensely proud of their son and had signed both houses over to him and Laura on their wedding day.
“You’d have received them anyway one day, son,” Wilfried Lawrence had said with a wink. “You and your wife can use some starting capital, can’t you?”
The house Carolyn lived in was a little out of the way on a hill, right on the edge of a small forest, and the only direct neighbours, an elderly couple called Field, lived about fifty yards away on the opposite side.
Carolyn had been delighted when she had seen the small house and the surrounding picturesque idyll for the first time. Johnny had then suggested that Carolyn move into the house on a rental basis and buy it later. He would then deduct her accumulated rent payments from the purchase price. Of course, Carolyn had happily accepted this more than generous offer, as she had fallen in love with the small house at first sight.
As she had a very modest lifestyle, she had already saved a considerable amount over the past three years, and it wouldn’t be long until she would be able to buy her little dream house.
The only luxury Carolyn had indulged in during this time was a second-hand Triumph Spitfire, a small blue sports car, in which she sometimes drove into the country on her own. She loved to race with high speed and open hood, with her hair flying in the wind, which gave her an intoxicating feeling of adventure and freedom.
The little house on the other hand gave her a feeling of security and inner peace, a feeling she had so far only known in her beloved Cradle Valley and during the short time in her parents-in-law’s house. She could relax wonderfully when she sat in front of the fireplace in the evenings, in her old rocking chair, which she had bought at a flea market, and dreamily looked into the blazing fire.
On the free weekends, when she wasn’t on call, she greatly enjoyed working in her garden, where she mainly grew vegetables and all kinds of herbs. In the afternoons, she sat down on the terrace with a good book, relishing her beautiful white rose bush and the bewitching scent of its flowers.
Carolyn felt something like happiness for the first time in a very long period, and the fact that her friends lived only five hundred yards away down the hill contributed significantly to this quiet happiness. She saw her friend Laura not only during their work hours in the nearby practice but also often enough in their spare time. Of course, it went without saying that the three friends visited each other as often as possible.
But despite of the more than positive development of the past years, Laura and Johnny were still worried about their friend, whose whole focus was on her patients. She didn’t pay enough attention to her own needs and Laura and Johnny were convinced that this would not go well in the long run.
So, both were relieved when Carolyn was transformed from one day to the next. Her eyes shone and for the first time in years she seemed to be carefree and happy again.
The friends were astonished when they all sat in the Lawrences’ garden one Saturday evening, enjoying the last warm rays of sun on a marvellous summer day while having a glass of cool white wine.
Carolyn was more relaxed than ever and laughed heartily over the little anecdotes Johnny talked about his work. Her eyes had been unusually bright … and not just once did Johnny wink at his wife.
Laura knew exactly what her husband was thinking and of course she was thinking exactly the same … Carolyn was finally in love again!
And it was true, on the day before, something had happened that was responsible for Carolyn’s radiant mood …
CHAPTER 61
When the phone rang early Friday evening, Carolyn was busy cooking her dinner in the kitchen. She finally wanted to prepare something wa
rm again.
She quickly wiped her hands on the kitchen towel and ran to the phone. When Carolyn heard the voice on the other end of the line, her heart started pounding. Alex … It was really and truly Alex Carpenter, urgently asking for a meeting, his voice sounding so desperate yet hopeful. After a moment’s hesitation, Carolyn agreed and invited him to her home that evening.
Alex already stood in front of the door half an hour later.
She was shocked when she saw him, as there were deep circles under his eyes and his cheeks were sunken in. Even though he was only thirty-four years old, he looked years older.
“May I come in?” he asked quietly when Carolyn didn’t invite him in.
“Oh, of course, come in,” she stammered and let him come inside.
“I’m sorry for barging in on you like this,” Alex said, “but I really had to see you.”
He followed Carolyn into the living room and looked around inconspicuously. “This is very nice,” he commented with appreciation.
“Please, have a seat,” Carolyn offered, pointing to a comfortable leather armchair.
“Thanks.” He sat down and awkwardly rubbed his hands together.
“I was just making dinner, it’s almost finished,” Carolyn said, her voice husky. “If you want to join me, there’s enough.”
Alex agreed, even though he didn’t feel hungry at all.
They had chicken breast in Metaxa sauce, gratinated with Cheddar cheese, as well as basmati rice and tomato salad. They ate in silence and had a glass of red wine with their meal.
“Thank you for the wonderful meal, Carry,” Alex praised after they both had eaten in silence. “It was delicious!”
Carolyn winced slightly when she heard the shortened form of her name out of his mouth, but apart from that didn’t show any reaction.