Waiting on Love

by Leah Atwood

  Fair enough question. He opted not to point out Landon had just contradicted himself about Tanya ruining her life and answered his question. “I’m a Christian now, and while I’m far from perfect, I don’t ever want to hurt Tanya and Lacy again. I want to be a part of their life. Lacy should have a father, and Tanya deserves more than a break—someone to cherish her.”

  “Do you love her?”

  “Yes.” His own answer took him by surprise, but once he said it, he knew it was true. She’d claimed his heart years ago, and he’d never taken it back.

  “If you hurt her, you’ll answer to me.”

  “Understood.” He squared his shoulders, stood upright to his fullest height. “The same goes for you. Within the hour she will be my wife, and I’ll do anything to protect her happiness. Which means you’re going to march back into the church, apologize to Tanya for your attitude and your outburst. And you’re going to tell her you support her decision to marry whomever she pleases. Whether you agree with it or not, you’re going to make her believe you do, and then you’ll sit through the ceremony with a smile on your face. Do I make myself clear?”

  Landon’s mouth curved into a wry smile. “Maybe I was wrong about you.”

  After Landon had walked back to the building, Scott released a long breath. Lord Jesus, please give us a happy beginning today—and a little unity in the family—my new family. He stayed outside a few more minutes to collect himself. The adrenaline rush from confronting Landon leveled off, only to be replaced by another one when it hit him that he was about to marry Tanya. He hadn’t allowed himself to believe it would really happen, on the chance it fell through and he’d end up crushed.

  He walked along the sidewalk, counting steps to keep his mind from wandering. A banner at the church’s entrance caught his eye—odd that he hadn’t noticed it before now. Peace on Earth. Gran was right. What better time to restore peace with Tanya and Lacy, than at Christmas, a time set aside to celebrate the birth of Christ Who would save the world and offer forgiveness. A forgiveness that he’d desperately needed and for which he’d be eternally grateful.

  Tanya waited for him in the lobby, her tears gone. She came to him and kissed his cheek. “I don’t know what you said to Landon, but thank you.”

  “I only told the truth.”

  “The pastor is in there, and everyone’s ready, waiting for us.” She bit down on her bottom lip.

  Her sudden look of doubt concerned him. “Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

  “Yes.”

  For the first time since she’d arrived at the church, Scott indulged in a long look at her. The chaos had distracted him from taking in the sight of the bride. She wore an ivory dress, with flowing, long sleeves. The lights hit her hair at the exact angle to show off her auburn highlights.

  Instinctively, he lifted a finger to trace her necklace. “You still have it.”

  She clutched the chain. “I couldn’t get rid of it. It gave me hope that one day you’d come back.”

  His thumb ran over the engraved word, Mom. “You told me you were pregnant a week before Mother’s Day. I was terrified, but I knew you’d make a terrific mom.” The weight of his guilt fought to surface. “I never planned to leave like I did, but college life came, providing an easy escape from real life. With each passing month, staying away became easier than owning up to my mis—.”

  “Sssshhh.” Tanya put a finger to his lips. “That’s the past, Scott. You’re forgiven.”

  “It’s the forgiving of myself that’s the problem.”

  “God’s grace is sufficient.” She lowered her finger. “There’s no need to forgive yourself.”

  “I know that, but it’s difficult when I see you and Lacy, and I realize how much I’ve missed.” His lips spread in an unexpected grin. “This is our wedding day. Why am I standing here, lamenting the past when we’re about to start our future?”

  Tanya’s smile brightened the room. “Good question.”

  He grabbed her hand. “Ready to get married?”

  “Let’s do it.”

  Chapter Ten

  “I’m home.”

  Tanya finished folding the towel in her hand then went downstairs to greet Scott. Lacy beat her to him and had her arms wrapped around him in a tight hug.

  Hanging back, she watched the tender embrace. Their two-week old marriage had settled into a comfortable routine, and all three of them had naturally eased into the role of a family. Too naturally for it not to have significance. Marrying Scott completed her life in a way she hadn’t expected.

  “Time to greet your mom.” He separated from Lacy.

  “How was work today?” She lingered in his arms, lavishing in the comfort and security they provided, wishing the embraces weren’t a show put on for Lacy. Each day, it became harder to tear away from them.

  From the corner of her eye, she saw Lacy run upstairs, probably to grab the picture she’d drawn for Scott.

  “Great.” His eyes sparkled. “Did you have anything planned for tonight?”

  “No. Since we decided Fridays would be family night, I haven’t scheduled any work that night. My candle customers will just have to work around my family from now on. I thought we could order a pizza and watch a Christmas movie.” Family night had been Scott’s idea, but she loved it. Every night since they married had essentially been a family night, but she knew as time went by, and life became hectic again, they’d have to be flexible, but she liked having the tradition started now, to be solidly in place for the future.

  Taking a step back from her, he reached into his pocket and pulled out three slips of tan cardstock. “Willing to change those plans?”

  She couldn’t see what the tickets were for, but excitement built in her. “Depends on what you want me to change them to?”

  “Adam’s Farm gave these to the dealership to distribute to all the employees and their families for a free dinner and Festival of Lights hayride.”

  “Are you serious?” She stole the tickets from him and read them, barely containing a squeal of glee. “This beats pizza and a movie any day.”

  “I thought so.” Scott’s grinned stretched ear to ear. “They start serving dinner at five, and hayrides begin at six. One of the guys at work told me it’s gotten even more popular since they added the gift shop two years ago— and he suggested going early.”

  “I can have Lacy and me ready in ten minutes.” She paused at the bottom stair. “But you probably want to relax before heading straight out.”

  “No, now is good. I haven’t been since I was a kid, and can’t wait.” The childlike joy on his face testified to his own excitement. “It was my favorite Christmas tradition.”

  “One of mine too.” Fond memories materialized of sitting on Granddad’s lap, tickling his mustache with a piece of hay.

  “I’m going to change out of my work clothes, but it won’t take long. I should be ready when you two are.”

  His gait held more confidence than a month ago when he’d first reappeared into her life. Hard to believe so much has changed in such a short time—I’m married to Scott and falling in love all over again. The blessings that followed forgiveness astounded her. Offering it to him had been one of the most difficult acts she’d ever done, with proportionate results in the opposite direction. How many wonderful events and moments of love would she have missed out on, now and in the future, had she denied him compassion?

  Once he disappeared from her line of sight, she cut short her musings and went room to room, turning off the candle warmers, filled with the products she sold. Because the candles produced a strong scent throw, a faint smell of frosted cranberries and pine would linger in the house, even hours after she’d turned off the burners. Holiday cheer would welcome them when they returned home later that evening.

  “Are we going somewhere?” Lacy came downstairs with a picture in hand.

  I know my daughter. “Daddy got tickets for us to Adam’s Farm.”

  “What’s tha
t?”

  “The best place in the world.” Bittersweet emotions tugged at her. Her family hadn’t gone since several years before Granddad died. Lacy had been eleven months old, too young to remember. Every year Tanya thought about taking her, but she couldn’t stomach the idea of being around a multitude of happy, smiling families.

  “I thought that was Disney World.”

  Tanya laughed, amused by her daughter’s innocent question, which she’d asked in complete seriousness. “Fine, the best place in Pennsylvania.”

  “What do you do there?” Lacy adjusted her drawing, holding it tightly with both hands.

  “First, we’ll have a big dinner with bowls upon bowls of yummy food, including corn pudding.”

  Lacy’s ears perked. “I love corn pudding.”

  “Me too.” Her stomach growled thinking of the feast they’d have. “And for dessert, they have every pie you can imagine, plus ice cream if you’re not too cold for it.”

  “I’m never too cold for ice cream,” Lacy declared.

  “We’ll see about that.” The temperature dropped fast once the sun set. Tanya opened the hall closet and slid Lacy’s heavy coat from the hanger. “Put this on, and make sure your gloves are in the pockets. You’ll want them for the hayride.”

  “What hayride?” Staring at her picture, Lacy couldn’t decide if she should obey her mom or risk messing up the drawing by setting it down. Tanya had learned the telltale signs of deliberation early on in her daughter’s young life.

  “After we eat, we go on a hayride along a path completely covered in Christmas lights. It goes on for over a mile.”

  “Will they have a Santa Claus?”

  “I’m not sure, love.” They had when she’d last gone, but many years had passed since then. She didn’t want to tell her yes, only to have her disappointed if he wasn’t there anymore.

  “Is Santa real?” Holding her jacket with her right hand, Lacy slipped her left arm into the sleeve. “A boy in my class today said he wasn’t.”

  Oh, boy. She’d dreaded this day. Some families in her church didn’t allow their kids to believe in Santa while others embraced the jolly figure. Tanya had always fallen in the middle, and took a passive approach, allowing her daughter to believe, but not pushing the concept on her.

  Scott stood at the bottom of the stairs, handsome in a casual way dressed in worn jeans, brown boots and a blue plaid shirt that showed off his eyes. He grabbed his cocoa-colored field jacket from the closet and put it on. “Have you heard about St. Nicolas?”

  “That’s another name for Santa Claus.” Lacy smiled with self-pride.

  “He was also a real man who lived a long time ago, and was known for giving away clothing, money, and shelter to the poor.”

  “Cool.” Scott’s explanation seemed to satisfy Lacy’s curiosity for the time being, and she held up her picture. “I made this for you after school. It’s a picture of us getting our Christmas tree last week. I even drew the cardinal that flew out of the tree.”

  Scott’s smile was priceless. “I’ll hang it on the refrigerator until Monday then take it to work and put it in my office.”

  “And tell everyone your daughter made it for you?”

  “Proudly so.” He dropped a kiss on Lacy’s forehead

  Two minutes later, they were in the car on their way to Adam’s Farm.

  “I wonder if they still offer the hot apple cider while waiting in line for the hayride.” The sweetened drink sprinkled with cinnamon always warmed her on the coldest nights and became as much of a tradition as the hayride was.

  “I’m sure they still do. Wasn’t it homemade from their orchards?”

  “I forgot about that. We should take Lacy apple picking in the fall.” She craned her head to see her daughter in the backseat. “What do you think about that, Lace?”

  “Can we, can we? I saw people on a TV show last week picking apples, and it looked like super fun.” She scrunched her nose. “I might be a little afraid of ladders, though.”

  “There’s some you don’t need ladders for, and even if you need to climb one, Daddy or I will be there with you.”

  “Can we go blueberry picking also?”

  Tanya stifled her groan. Give an inch, take a mile—only in Lacy’s case, it was plant an idea, and she’d harvest an orchard. “We’ll talk about that in summer when they are ripe.”

  “Look at that line of cars.” Scott stared straight ahead, jutting his chin to the row of brake lights.

  “Busy night.” She estimated the number of cars ahead of them. “The wait’s going to be an hour, at least.”

  “Do you want to try tomorrow night and get here earlier?”

  “Are you kidding? The waiting is the best part, singing along with the carols blaring from the loudspeakers and looking at all the lighted trees lining the road up to the restaurant.”

  An hour and a half—their wait for a table.

  Scott rubbed his stomach when he finished. “Worth every minute standing in line.”

  “You know when you eat something you haven’t had in a long time, most of the time it’s not as good as you remember?” She leaned back, regretting her overindulgence. “Not the case here. The food is even better than I remember.”

  “I liked the pie the best.” Lacy pointed to her empty plate. “I’d eat it every day if Mommy would let me.”

  Tanya chuckled. “And that’s why I’m the mom, and you’re the child.”

  “Should we get in line for the hayride now?” Scott took out a twenty-dollar bill and left it as a tip.

  “I want to see the gift shop, but we can do that afterward if we’re not too tired.”

  She reached for Lacy’s hand, but she went to Scott. A small pang of jealousy struck her but diminished when she saw the smiles on their face. Scott leaned down, talking to Lacy and pointing out the exposed beams of the restaurant which had been salvaged from an old farmhouse.

  To her delight, a worker handed them a hot apple cider at the beginning of the hayride line.

  Lacy, holding her cup with both gloved hands, drank a sip and promptly spit it out. “Ouch. It’s hot.”

  “You have to blow on it, like this.” Lifting his own Styrofoam cup to his mouth, he puckered his lips and blew a gentle whistle over the cider. He repeated the process several times then held it to Lacy’s mouth. “Here, try it now.”

  Her second attempt made it down her throat. “Yum. This is good.”

  Scott traded cups with her. “Take mine. We’ve got it nicely cooled down for you now.”

  As the line moved, Lacy occupied herself with her drink and people watching. Tanya never saw her head stay still for more than thirty seconds at a time. She could still remember the wonder of coming here as a child and seeing the entire place lit with Christmas joy.

  She stood close to Scott, and he leaned in so he could hear her above the noise. “You’re a good dad. I always knew you would be.”

  “Thanks, but I haven’t been doing it long enough to mess up yet.”

  An unbidden laugh rose from her belly. “You’ll learn soon enough that even the best, most well-intentioned parents mess up often.”

  “I can’t see you making a mistake.”

  “When Lacy was four months old, I laid her on the sofa to change her diaper—I never had a changing table.” A crystal clear video of the event conjured in her mind. “After I had the dirty diaper off, I realized I forgot the clean diaper. It was on the end table right behind me. Despite all the warnings to never leave a baby unattended, I turned my back to grab the diaper. Lacy rolled right onto Gran’s hardwood floor and had a nice bruise on her arm. I felt horrible for days.”

  “That would have happened to me, I’m sure.”

  Tanya rubbed a hand down her throat, remembering the fear she’d experienced at the moment she’d heard Lacy’s tiny body thump. “Come to find out, it’s happened to almost every new mom at some point. I should have paid more attention, but you can bet I learned from that experience.”
/>
  “Tickets, please.” A man dressed in full farmer regalia, from the straw hat to denim overalls and plaid shirt underneath, held out his hand.

  “That was quick.” Scott removed the tickets from his pocket and handed them to the worker.

  “Load from the left side, please, and fill the spots from the back forward.” The man flashed a large smile. “Enjoy your ride and have a Merry Christmas.”

  “Let’s go.” Lacy grabbed one of her hands and one of Scott’s, then broke into a run, pulling them toward the wagon.

  “Think she’s excited?” He reined in Lacy to a stop at the wagon’s gate. Turning to face Tanya in the moonlight, he winked.

  “Her enthusiasm takes me back to childhood.” She sighed. “To be so young again.”

  “But if we were that young, I wouldn’t be able to do this.” He moved his head toward hers and kissed her lips, ever so briefly.

  Her heart fluttered wildly, and if not for her physical reactions, she would have thought she’d imagined it.

  As though nothing had happened, Scott whistled and swooped a giggling Lacy onto the wagon. He turned and grabbed Tanya’s waist—as if he did that all the time—and lifted her up too. They claimed a spot on a hay bale in the middle of the wagon. Not Tanya’s preferred location—she liked to be on the perimeter—but nothing could ruin this night.

  The tractor roared to life, and the driver shouted, “Hold on to your hay, folks!”

  Merriment filled the air and everyone whooped, swayed, and laughed through a couple of jerking gearshifts when they took off. And just as they settled into the normal bumpiness of a hayride, the speakers on the back of the tractor belted out Frosty the Snowman. All the kids on the ride began singing along, and most of the adults joined in as well.

  She exhaled to see her breath turn to fog. Why not indulge in the joys of childhood? Despite the near freezing temperatures, the body heat from the packed wagon provided organic warmth.

  Lacy made friends with a girl closer to her age sitting directly across from her. Somehow she finagled a seat next to her, leaving Tanya to sit alone with Scott.