Torn: A College Sports Romance (Cherry Grove Series Book 3)

by Cole Lepley

  I pull back and lace my hands behind his neck, still elevated off the ground. Forcing my most convincing smile, I kiss him once. “You played amazing.”

  He responds by deepening our kiss, eliciting whoops from the crowd all around us. It must look questionable to have both quarterbacks up in the stands, hovering around me, minutes after the game. Although, it wouldn’t be the first time.

  Judah sets me down and pulls me against his side. I clutch his waist as if it’s my lifeline. I’ve never needed someone as much as I need him in this moment. And somehow he knew.

  Judah extends his hand to Sean. “I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve officially met.”

  Sean offers his hand back. “Judah Holloway. Your reputation proceeds you.” His eyes drift to me. “Although I wasn’t aware, you knew Mack.”

  Judah laughs once, pulling his hand back and returning it to my side. He runs it up and down in a soothing manner. “And I didn’t realize you knew my girl either.”

  The smug smile on Sean’s face makes the knot in my stomach tighten. “Oh, we go way back.”

  Judah’s hand drifts to my hip and he gives it a squeeze. “Is that so?”

  “I’m surprised she hasn’t mentioned me,” Sean continues. I hate that he’s talking about me as if I’m not here. It doesn’t come as a surprise though. He always had a way of speaking for me, and not in the way I would’ve wanted.

  I know what he’s trying to do and I can’t let him. Finding the strength to push through this, I speak up. “Sean and I went to high school together.” I lower my voice a little, raising my eyes up to Judah. “We used to date.” I attempt to keep my voice as casual as possible, but I still see the tick in his jaw.

  “Well, and college too,” Sean adds with a smirk. He takes a step closer, sizing Judah up with his eyes. “Didn’t Mack tell you about her time at Yale?”

  I feel Judah’s hand grip my waist tighter and I’m about to cut in again when Holden comes up beside us. He’s out of breath, gripping his sides.

  “Hey, man. I’ve been calling for you, but it’s chaos,” Holden pants. He motions around the stadium with his hands as he speaks.

  “We’re busy,” Judah says curtly.

  Holden looks between us and raises an eyebrow. “Okay, well you need to get back down on the field. Coach is flipping shit looking for you.”

  Judah doesn’t remove his glare from Sean. “I’ll be right there.”

  Holden shakes his head. “No, like now.” He nudges Judah in the shoulder. “Boston, dude. They’re still here.”

  The uncertainty is written all over his face as looks down to me. He can’t miss out on this opportunity because of my unresolved drama.

  “Go,” I whisper. When he shakes his head, I smile. “I mean it, I’ll be fine.”

  Judah grabs both sides of my face before kissing me with a passion that makes my knees weak. When he pulls back, he presses his forehead against mine.

  “Are you sure, babe? I don’t want to leave you alone up here.”

  I swallow back another wave of emotion. “Yeah, I’m seriously fine. Come find me later, okay?”

  Even though he still looks unsure, he kisses me once more. “I’ll call you as soon as I get back to the locker room.” He gives a nod to Sean. “You should get down there, too.”

  Sean laughs. “I’ll see you around, Judah.”

  Judah takes a few steps backward, shooting daggers in his direction. “You can count on it.”

  Holden grabs Judah’s arm, tugging him further. “Dude, seriously.”

  Judah’s nostrils flare before he reluctantly turns and follows Holden to the stairs. Sean moves closer before Judah is even out of view.

  “Well, that was awkward, huh?” He messes with the hair in my face again, tucking it behind my ear. “Something tells me you haven’t been too honest with your new guy.”

  I smack his hands away again, causing his grin to intensify. He grabs both my wrists and puts enough pressure on them to make me wince.

  “He doesn’t need to know about you.”

  When he releases his grip, I wrap my arms around myself. My entire body shivers, and it’s not from the cold that crept into the air.

  “It doesn’t matter what you do, or how much you try to run from me, you’ll never escape what we did.” He leans down close to my face, speaking in a harsh whisper. “I’m not going to be the only one who suffers.”

  “You didn’t suffer. I did. I was the one who lost everything.” A tear slips down my cheek and I let it fall. There’s no point in trying to stop them now.

  He shrugs. “That was your choice, Mack. You break the rules, bad things happen.”

  My face scrunches up in disgust. “Rules? It was all just a sick game to you. You didn’t really love me. You were just pissed I didn’t want to play anymore.”

  He clicks his tongue. “Oh, that’s where you’re wrong, sweetness. I decide when it ends. Not you.” Stepping even closer, he grabs my arm again. “I always win, Mack.”

  “You already have,” I whisper. “I’m so… done.”

  His lips turn up and he moves his hand to my wrist, squeezing down with his thumb as he speaks just below my ear. “Press harder next time, baby.”

  Without another word, he casually walks away from me. I stand motionless as he makes his way back to the field. All the progress I’ve been making slips away. This brief encounter with him takes me right back to where I started.

  “Mack?” Zander comes up behind me and I jump.

  He takes in my weary appearance and frowns. “Are you okay?”

  I shake my head. “Where were you?”

  He nods to the drink in his hand. “Line was long. I didn’t expect the game to end so soon.” He sets his cup down on the bench behind us and pulls me against him. “What happened? Tell me.”

  Gripping his sweatshirt with my hands, I bury my face in his chest. “He found me.”

  His arms stiffen around me. “That motherfucker,” he breathes. He pulls away and stalks down the bleachers. I follow close behind and grab his arm before he makes it too far.

  “Zander, please don’t.” When his eyes meet mine, I shake my head. “Please, just take me home. I need to get out of here.”

  He glares down to the field when Sean and his team are standing on the sidelines. I don’t have to look too hard to know that he’s still looking up at me. I can feel it. Zander turns back to me, fists clenched at his side.

  “You can’t let him do this, Mack.”

  I nod slowly. “I know, and I won’t. I just can’t let Judah know. He can’t know what I did.”

  “What are you going to do?” He looks almost defeated staring back at me. The fans pile out around us, while we remained locked in a stand-off for what seems like forever.

  I wipe another tear from my eye and give half a shrug. I risk a glance back down to Judah. He’s surrounded by coaches and teammates, all smiling and talking excitedly about what I can only assume will be a bright future for him. He’ll have a good life because he deserves to.

  He doesn’t deserve to be with someone who can’t even be honest with him. I know I need to change that. I need to tell him everything. I just don’t know if I can.

  Chapter 19

  More

  Judah

  My fist slams in my locker with a loud bang. I stare back at the dent as my chest heaves in and out. Several moments go by until I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder. I turn around so fast, Preston flinches.

  “What?” I growl.

  Preston’s face softens. He actually looks remorseful. “I just wanted to see if you were okay, player.” He takes a step back and rests his hands in his track pants. “Holden said there was something happening up in the stands.” He pauses for a minute. “And I know you like that girl.”

  I open my now damaged locker in search of my clothes. I don’t feel like having this conversation in a towel. I stayed in the shower longer than anyone else. For some reason I thought the water would wash away all
my anger and I would be okay again. Didn’t happen.

  Preston doesn’t say anything, but I can feel him behind me as I hurry through getting dressed. After pulling on my jeans, I turn around to face him.

  “Yes, okay. I like her.” I cock my head to him. “You fucking happy now? I’ll dress like a stupid fucking bear or any other douchey thing you can come up with, but that won’t change anything.” I take a step forward and narrow my eyes at him. “She’s with me.”

  Preston put his hands on my still heaving chest and smiles. “Okay, okay. I get it. Calm down.”

  I shrug him off. “I can’t calm down. There’s something not right about that guy.”

  Holden is sitting on the bench beside us, pulling his shoes on. “What guy?”

  “The quarterback from Yale, Sean. Mack said they used to date, but you should have seen the fear in her eyes. Something happened she’s not telling me.”

  Preston scoffs, pulling his sweatshirt on. “You know how girls are, player. They probably had a bad breakup, or he cheated or some bullshit like that. Girls are so dramatic.”

  Anger seethes through me and lounge forward and grab Preston by the throat. When his back hits the wall his eyes widen.

  “Don’t you ever assume what’s happened to her. You don’t even fucking know her.”

  He grabs my arms and tries to move me back with a grunt. His eyes narrow. “And neither do you, playboy. That girl sounds like trouble and you don’t need that shit after last year.”

  I release him with a shove. A couple teammates gather around us, poised for a fight. Including an apprehensive looking Holden.

  I point my finger at him with a heated gaze. “This right here is the reason bad shit continues to happen to girls. She’s not being fucking dramatic. She’s upset.”

  He remains indifferent. “You don’t know that. She could be playing you.”

  “She’s different.”

  Preston holds his hands up. “We’re just looking out. We’re your boys, Judah.”

  I grab my bag and give them all one last glance over my shoulder.

  “Then act like it.”

  I tried to call Mack several times on the way home and they all went to voicemail. My tires screech as I rip in the parking lot of our apartment complex. I take the steps two at a time and attempt to catch my breath before I knock on her door. Zander pulls it open before I have a chance to.

  “Oh, we’ve been expecting you.” He steps back and waves me inside. “Come on in.”

  I step past him and spot the dude from the other night on the sofa. His blond curly hair and thick glasses make him appear more like an engineering geek than a closet freak like Zander. I guess opposites attract.

  He gives me a slight smile. “Hi, I’m Mark. Sorry about… you know, last time.”

  “It’s cool,” I say with a wave of my hand. “What you and Z do is your business.”

  Zander pulls his hand into his chest. “Aww, Judah. Are we at the point in our relationship where we get to call each other cute nicknames?” He presses his finger to his lips. “I’ll have to think of one for you.”

  I pat him on the back with a laugh. “I’m gonna need approval on that one first, okay?”

  “Sure, sure,” Zander says casually, retaking his seat next to Mark.

  I stand in the doorway, unsure what to do. Mack has to be here.

  “Um, she’s in her room. Be easy on her, okay?” Zander says, reading my mind.

  I nod as I take tentative steps back the hallway to her room. Her door is closed, and I knock twice.

  “Go away, Zander,” she calls through the wooden door.

  I clear my throat. “It’s me. Can I come in?”

  It goes a beat before she gives her approval and I twist the door open.

  She smiles at me, but it’s written all over her face. She’s trying to act casual about what happened in those stands.

  “What’s up?”

  My brows rise. “What’s up? You tell me, Mackenzie.”

  “I’m fine.” She shakes her head as if I’m being ridiculous. “I told you that before you walked back down to your team.”

  I grip the sides of the doorframe, leaning in. “Then why didn’t you answer my calls? Why didn’t you wait for me?”

  “I thought you’d be busy,” she says simply and then turns to walk to her bed. She sits down on the edge, dressed only in a tank top and tiny cotton shorts. They ride up high on her thighs as she pats the comforter. “Come in here.”

  Something’s not right about this. I drum my fingers on the doorframe for a second, wrestling with my conscience. It’s obvious she’s upset. I can see the redness rimming her eyes. I should keep pressing until she tells me why, but I know if I sit down on that bed next to her my brain will want to do something else.

  And by brain, I mean my dick. He’s stronger than my actual brain and gets me in trouble. I may have improved on some fronts, but I’m still a man. We’re only built with so much willpower, and it’s been way too fucking long.

  Her head tilts in question and I can’t deny how fucking sad she looks. My heart ultimately wins out, and I step inside, shutting the door behind me. I stay standing and lean back on the door.

  “I promise I won’t overreact. If you’re afraid to tell me something, don’t be. I’ll listen until you ask me to respond if that’s what you need.”

  Mackenzie puffs out a stunned breath, shaking her head. “Why are you being so perfect all the time? It’s not fair.”

  With this, I laugh and walk closer. I brush the hair back from her face so I can see her eyes. “I don’t know about all that, but I know I’m trying really hard not to fuck this up. I can’t stand the thought of anything hurting you and I never want to be the person who causes it.” I lean down and kiss the side of her head. “Talk to me, Mack. You don’t have to tell me everything, but I’d like you to tell me something.”

  She gives my arm a tug and pulls me down to sit beside her. She faces me straight on, her expression more confident than moments ago. “I told you. We used to date. That’s basically it.”

  “But you seemed so upset to see him there.” I laugh darkly. “I didn’t like the way he looked at you either. Not because I’m jealous, but because it didn’t seem right.” My jaw ticks and my body tenses. He rubs me all kinds of wrong. “I don’t know. I have a bad feeling about the guy.”

  Mackenzie brushes it off and loops her arm through mine. “Judah, please. You know how it is. It was a shitty break-up. Of course I don’t want to see him.” She gives me a pointed gaze. “You of all people should understand.”

  She inches closer and her lips skim mine before I get a chance to think. I almost pull her onto my lap, but my hands pause on her waist. I press my forehead to hers, our mouths almost touching.

  “I do understand, but I can’t do this if you’re not in the right headspace.” My lips brush hers once more. “I need you to be sure.”

  Instead of arguing, she climbs onto my lap, straddling me. The fact that I’m wearing a pair of sweatpants becomes increasingly obvious. My dick pulses beneath her, the thin fabric of her shorts allowing me to feel everything. It’s surprisingly intimate for being fully clothed.

  She rocks back and forth over my erection and my willpower slips away. Would she really be this eager if that dude still shattered her heart? Maybe it was just a case of an old flame who burnt her. She never even mentioned him before now. I could be the one who’s overreacting when I promised her I wouldn’t.

  Her kiss isn’t confused. She kisses me hard and grips the back of my neck, her fingers digging into my skin. There’s an urgency to the way her mouth moves over mine. The way her tongue licks along the seam before breaking through. I kiss her with equal fervor until she pushes me back so we’re lying across her bed.

  Every part of her is pressed against me, grinding on me. I’m getting close to bursting straight out of these pants and she hasn’t really touched me yet. As if to read my mind, she pulls back and there’s a twink
le in her eye that wasn’t there before. Her hand drifts between us until her fingers wrap around my swollen shaft. She stays outside the pants, but the effect is the same.

  My breathing increases and I release a grunt. “I can’t focus when you’re doing that.”

  She smiles. “What do you need to focus on besides what I’m doing?”

  “You,” I grit out. She grips me tighter and I let out another throaty groan. “I need to…I want…”

  She silences me with her mouth again, and I have to admit, her aggressiveness is turning me on. She nibbles on my bottom lip before breaking the kiss, her lips moving to my neck. They suck and bite along my heated skin until she stops below my ear.

  “What do you want?” she purrs.

  The answer to her question isn’t about me. I’m desperate to be in this moment with her. To allow it to consume me and wreck me if that’s what it takes to be this close.

  But my heart.

  My heart knows something’s wrong and I can’t keep going until I know what it is.

  I cup the sides of her face with my hands and make her look me in the eye. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

  I’m almost pleading with her to tell me no, to tell me to wait. She’s so insistent on taking things slow and this feels like a rush. An overflow of emotions we’re not ready to experience and still survive when it’s over. I don’t want this to be a one-night thing. I want more. So much more.

  The reluctance I’m waiting for doesn’t come. She sits up on my lap and pulls her tank top over her head. It falls to the floor and I watch her toned stomach contract with each breath. There’s lust in her eyes, not fear, and I don’t know how I feel about it.

  “I want this,” she says in a breathy, languid tone. She bends down, pulling my T-shirt up my body. I take her lead when it bunches under my chin and slip in the rest of the way off. Her lips drag upward in satisfaction and she leans into my mouth again. “I want you, Judah,” she whispers.

  Her tongue parts my lips and I grab onto the bare skin of her back, pulling her flush against my chest. I’d never take advantage of a girl I knew wasn’t able to make solid choices. Mackenzie is stone-cold sober and more determined than I’ve ever seen her. If she really doesn’t want this, she’s putting on a good show.