Torn: A College Sports Romance (Cherry Grove Series Book 3)

by Cole Lepley

  I nod. I’m almost afraid to speak because I don’t trust my voice right now. “I get that.”

  Judah hesitates, bracing his hand on the railing. “You okay?”

  I force a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  He chuckles under his breath like he doesn’t believe me. “All right, then.” He turns to leave and then stops, his back to me. “I’ll see you around.”

  And just like that, I realize that maybe I pushed him too far. I listen to the sound of his footsteps on the stairs until they disappear. Each one pounds along with the beating in my heart and when I hear the bottom door slam shut, it stops. I bring my hand up to my chest and count the seconds until it resumes its usual pace. I make myself a promise that when he comes back, I won’t let him walk away again.

  Chapter 29

  I Never Will

  Judah

  Hunter and Ollie are shoving each other back and forth in the parking lot. I’m watching them from my truck that’s parked next to Hunter’s apartment complex. After a super intense argument at Ollie’s house, we’ve been out for almost five hours. They started off drinking way too strong, and I decided to be the responsible one and stay sober. They’re both teachers and I was the responsible one? Something is seriously wrong with tonight.

  Not only that, but so many things are happening at once I can barely process them all. Elliot broke up with Hunter. That’s about where the processing stops for me. Finally, after almost a year of defending him, she saw how controlling and unhealthy their relationship was. If only I had been home when she needed someone. I can’t imagine this has been easy for her. I know how I feel about what happened with Mack and I’ve only known her a short time. Either way, losing someone you care about fucking sucks.

  Ollie’s situation is worse. I don’t even know what to tell the poor guy. No matter how much of a dick he can be, he didn’t deserve that. To find out you were almost a dad five years later is a hard pill to swallow. I can’t even imagine what that feels like and I don’t want to.

  Although it may seem hard to believe, all of this drama is new to me. When Elle and I were together nothing like this ever happened. Sure, we had our fair share of break-ups, but in hindsight, I realize they were over such trivial things. Elliot smiled at someone the wrong way, I didn’t call her back soon enough, I grabbed another cheerleaders’ ass after the game… you know, small things like that. I would do anything to go back to the day when my biggest concern was what field to have the kegger in that weekend. I worried about whether we would win the game that Friday and what Elliot would wear when she came to cheer me on. More times than I can count I got into it with someone for looking at her in a way they shouldn’t be.

  But now? Now I have to worry about whether the physical and emotional trauma my girlfriend endured will ruin her forever. She may never be able to love me. That makes me sad. That, and the fact that she’s not my girlfriend. After everything we’ve been through in the past couple months, she doesn’t want to see me anymore. I lied about that. I told Hunter and Ollie we were together and I was happy. That was the biggest lie of all. I can’t remember the last time I smiled, and it felt real.

  I scroll through my phone to distract myself when Ollie jumps back in the truck.

  “Better drive away fast.” He’s breathing hard and nods over to Hunter still glaring at us from the parking lot. “I thought he was really going to fucking punch me when I said he couldn’t come see Elliot tonight.” He leans back in his seat and runs his hands down his face. “God, I don’t even want to think about the drama fest that would fucking be. They always fight so much more when he drinks.”

  My teeth clench as I pull out onto the road. I hate the way Hunter speaks about her when he’s drinking too. It took all I had to keep my cool when he was bitching about something that he took from me. He was complaining about something he should be grateful to have.

  Elliot’s heart.

  I can feel Ollie staring at me. He does this before he wants to say something he thinks is important. The scary part about that is, you never know what to expect.

  I nod my head to him, keeping my eyes on the road ahead. “Do you feel any better?”

  He sighs. “I don’t fucking know. Everything sucks so much right now. I’m so angry with her and yet, I still blame myself mostly.” He pauses and looks out his window for a moment. “But I’m also sad. Like really fucking sad that she felt like she couldn’t tell me. As if I wouldn’t have cared.”

  When I don’t say anything, he continues. “And I don’t think it’s fair I should have to pay for how I acted when I was seventeen.” He scoffs. “I ruined everything, and for what? So I could go to Florida, play football, and drink myself into a coma partying on the beach every night? I was fucking dumb. All I cared about was fucking off for four years and living it up before I had to become an adult.” He gives me a pointed look, and I meet his eyes briefly. “I only did one of those things.”

  “Come on, Ollie. Don’t be so hard on yourself,” I say, turning onto their street. “You never could have predicted what would happen. We all act so dumb in high school. I know I fucking did.”

  “Yeah,” he says, leaning back into his seat further. “You put up with a lot of shit last year. I can’t say I would have done half the things you did to make things right with Elle.”

  I give a shrug. “It was worth it. At least I get to have her as my friend now. I can’t imagine what it would be like if she was out of my life completely.” I pull into their driveway and park behind Ollie’s truck. When I shut off the engine, I turn to him. “It’s nice to have someone who really knows you to talk to. I never thought I needed that, but now that I have it, I know I do. Maybe you shouldn’t give up just yet?”

  His eyes are red like he’s about to cry. I know Oliver would never do that. Or at least not let me be the one to see it. He shakes his head, regaining some composure.

  “No, you’re right. I like the fact that I can talk to Charlie about things I can’t with anyone else.” He reaches for the handle and pauses. “You know, you’re lucky. You left this fucking town and found a better life. You still have football and a nice girl… Man, I envy you.”

  I pat him on the shoulder before stepping out of the truck myself. I laugh once as I follow him to the door. If he only knew just how wrong he was. “Yeah, I’m lucky all right.”

  We step inside and walk through the main part of the house. When we make it to the living room, the sight of Elliot curled up on the couch makes me smile. She has her arms folded across her chest, with her knees pulled up and the hood from her sweatshirt hiding half her face.

  Ollie motions between them and the various empty bottles scattered around the room. “Can you believe this shit?”

  He shakes his head and tries to get Elliot to go upstairs. She mutters something incoherent and tucks her head further into her hood. He stands up and shrugs. I’ve seen her like this many times before. She’ll be pissed if she wakes up on the couch in the morning. She likes to sleep off her hangovers in her bed where she can be comfortable.

  I lean down to her face. “Elle, wake up,” I whisper. She mumbles a reply, but her eyes don’t open. “I’ll help you upstairs, okay?”

  She nods and blindly reaches for me. I lift her up into my arms and Ollie shoots me a sideways glance from beside where Charlie is passed out.

  “I’ll be right back,” I say, adjusting my grip of Elliot. She buries her face into my neck and I hide the smile it brings.

  He points his finger to me in warning. “You have five fucking minutes or I’m coming up there after you.”

  I just laugh. Next to Perry, Ollie seems very tame. Even so, I make a promise to my friend that I won’t be an idiot with his sister before walking upstairs. Her room is right down the hallway. It’s funny how something still feels so familiar even if it seems like forever since the last time you’ve done it. Trying to sneak drunk Elliot into her bedroom was a common occurrence at one time. I’m surprised her parents never
caught us, because drunk Elliot is a lot louder than a sober one.

  This time, drunk Elliot is sad. She used to never be sad. Nothing ever made this girl cry, and now, I think he does it a lot. That in itself is enough to break my heart. I will never love another girl like I love her. Not the same anyway. No matter what I do, she still owns a part of me I’ll never get back.

  Carefully, I lay her down on the right side of her bed. I grab a blanket from the bottom and bring it over her. When I’m about to pull away, she grabs my hand.

  “Don’t go yet, Judah,” she whispers. “I miss talking to you.”

  Her eyes flutter open and capture me instantly. I glance at the clock. Four minutes left.

  “I miss you too, Elle.” I cup the side of her face. “But, it’s late. You should get some sleep.”

  She shakes her head. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what, babe?” My eyebrows pull in and I lean closer.

  Her eyes fall shut again as she speaks. “For everything. I was a shitty person and I deserve to feel terrible right now.”

  Elliot pulls away from me and turns on her side. Without giving it much thought, I slide onto the bed next to her, resting my hand on her shoulder.

  “Don’t say that. You don’t deserve to feel bad and you shouldn’t let him make you feel that way.”

  She rolls onto her back and sniffs once. “I wasn’t exactly trustworthy for most of our relationship. I know that’s the reason he acts the way he does. He’s just waiting for me to do something and fuck everything up for good.”

  “That’s no way to live.”

  She lifts her hands off her stomach and then lets them fall with a sigh. “Yeah, well, I don’t have much of a choice do I?”

  “You always have a choice.”

  Her eyes go shut again. “It’s not that simple when you love someone.”

  The way she talks about loving Hunter pulls at the still healing part of my heart. I always wondered if she struggled when I left for school. Did she miss me like I missed her or was it a relief?

  I decide if I’m ever going to get the truth from her, it has to be now. I rest my head on her pillow, laying on my side. “Was it simple when you left me?”

  Her eyes open and meet mine with a weary expression. “Judah…”

  I shake my head quickly and move to sit up. “No, you don’t have to answer that. I’m being stupid.”

  Elliot grabs my hand to keep me from leaving. “You’re not stupid.” She inches closer, still holding my hand. “Of course it was hard for me. It still is sometimes. That’s why I’m so glad we’re friends. I can’t bring myself to walk away from you completely.”

  I look down at our hands as I speak. “I’m glad we’re friends, too.”

  “Everything okay with you?” she asks and I lift my head up.

  Lying to Ollie is one thing, but I can’t lie to Elliot. I pull my hand back and glance at the clock again. Two minutes.

  I release a lengthy breath. “Well, things with me and Mack aren’t going too good. She broke up with me.”

  Elliot brings her hand to her chest. “Aw, Judah. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s cool,” I say, brushing off another wave of sadness as it clenches in my stomach. “She has some things to work out. Maybe I’m not the right person to help her with that.”

  “That’s crazy,” Elliot scoffs. “Who wouldn’t want to be with you?”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Um, you for starters.”

  She gives a sad smile. “Sometimes I wish I would have met you later. The person you are now is a far cry from the one I knew in high school. Any girl would be lucky to have you.” She lays down on her side again and I mirror her position. “I mean that.”

  I reach over a brush a strand of hair from her face, my voice soft. “I could say the same about you. Hunter should stop being such an ass and take care of you the way that you deserve.”

  “It’s harder this time, you know? Me and you never had to face the issues Hunter and I seem to deal with.”

  “Yeah, I know the feeling.”

  We stare at each other in silence for the longest time. I don’t look at the clock again. If Ollie wants to come up here and throttle me, then so be it. I can’t leave Elle sad like this. She shouldn’t have to sit up at night and worry about a guy who is too blind to see what he has.

  She closes her eyes once more and reaches for my hand. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  I lace my finger with hers and sigh. “Always, babe.”

  My eyelids grow heavy as her breathing evens out. I decide to lay here with her for another couple minutes until she falls asleep. No harm there, right?

  Chapter 30

  Try

  Judah

  Hunter is a scrappy motherfucker. He also has the worst timing. I passed out in Elliot’s room a little longer than I would have liked and was met by his psychotic face at the bottom of the stairs. It didn’t take long for him to swing, and unfortunately, Ollie was the one to get the brunt of it. We’re all staring at him, knocked out on the hardwood floor.

  Charlie kneels down at his side, shaking his shoulder gently. “Ollie, wake up.”

  His eyes roll around in his head and I sigh. “Look what you did now.” I point down to Ollie and motion to Hunter with irritation.

  Hunter glares at me. Several buttons are ripped off the front of his shirt. “What I did? You’re the one who needs to learn boundaries.” He clenches his fist again and takes a step toward me.

  Elliot position herself between us. “Stop it.” She looks to me and then back to Hunter, placing her hand on his chest. “I mean it. Stop.”

  “This is bullshit and you know it,” he seethes down at her.

  Ollie mumbles something from the floor. Charlie helps him up to his feet, and he stumbles forward. With his arm around her shoulder, she nods to the kitchen. “A little help, please.”

  Hunter darts to his other side, shooting me another look of disdain before dragging him up on his feet. They shuffle Ollie to the kitchen and Elliot turns to me.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll fix this.”

  I wipe some blood from my lip. “You’ll fix this, huh? Are you sure you want to?”

  She crosses her arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Elle, that guy can’t keep his shit together long enough to hear anything.” I readjust the collar of my shirt, anger flowing out of me. “I moved you out the way because I was scared for you.”

  She scoffs. “Hunter would never hurt me.”

  “You don’t know that. He gets this look in his eye and it’s like a switch is flipped.” I throw my arms out. “God, Elle. I can’t believe you can’t see it.”

  “I see it, okay? I know he has some issues keeping his temper in check, but he tries.”

  I roll my eyes. “Yeah, he tries real fucking hard all right. If this was the first time, maybe I would believe you.”

  We stare at each other in a stand-off. If Elliot thinks something is true, she won’t back down. I know that all too well. My only hope at ensuring she’s okay is to talk to Hunter myself. Easier said than done.

  She takes off toward the kitchen instead of responding and I follow behind her. Ollie is sitting at the table, holding a bag of ice to the side of his face, and bitching up a storm. I’d be pissed, too. Hunter hits hard.

  Elliot leans back on the breakfast bar with her arms locked over her chest. She’s staring at Hunter and it’s not out of anger. She’s actually worried he’ll leave her now. I know how much she loves him. She wouldn’t have told me about it if she didn’t. It bothers her he doesn’t trust her and I know the feeling all too well.

  The fucked up part about my situation is that I’m really trying. I haven’t been dishonest with Mackenzie. I’ve respected her boundaries and made sure she felt comfortable the entire time.

  I’m too busy staring at Elliot and the next time I notice what’s happening, Ollie is up and in my face. He points his finger at me.

  “You need to learn bo
undaries.”

  I almost laugh at the irony in his statement, but he turns away from me before I get the chance. He gets closer to Hunter and whispers something down to him, gripping him hard on the shoulder. Hunter glares over at me and then growls something back. After a moment, Ollie steps away, and Hunter meets my eyes.

  “I’m sorry I hit you.”

  “I’m sorry, too, man. Seriously.” I pull my hand into my chest. “I mean that, for real.”

  Hunter gives a terse nod. It doesn’t mean he accepts my apology. It just means he knows everyone’s watching and he’ll go along with it not to seem like an asshole.

  He focuses on Elliot next and that’s when I stop paying attention again. She starts crying and I have to turn away. Her tears do awful things to me and I don’t want to start another fight in their kitchen.

  Ollie comes up behind me when I’m walking toward the door and grips my shoulder.

  “I’ll walk you out, man.”

  I glance back and see that the stand-off ends quick. Elliot is across the kitchen and in his arms already. At least I’ll know I’m not leaving with them fighting. I may not like him, but I also can’t stand the thought of her being unhappy.

  Ollie trails behind as I walk out into the driveway. I pause beside my truck, turning back to face him.

  “I really am sorry, dude. This is not how this weekend was supposed to go.”

  Ollie smiles, an understanding air about him. “It’s okay. I get both sides.” He steps closer and pats my shoulder. “You’re still protecting her and I think it’s okay you still care so much. I’m glad she has that.”

  When I open my mouth to reply, he gives my shoulder an extra squeeze before pulling away. “But you need to let them work it out. You know you’d be pissed if your girl’s ex got involved in your relationship.”

  His words bring the metallic taste back to my mouth. He has no idea how bad it can be.

  “Yeah,” I say, appearing calm. “I was wrong.”