When We Have Wings

by Claire Corbett

  The Raptor climbed higher, twisted and let himself drop, like a fighter plane executing barrel rolls, spiralling downwards.

  Sky, City, sky, City spun in a whirl of lights and blue dark.

  The Raptor was going to kill me—twist me off in mid-air, slam me into the wall of a tower, scrape me off on a girder—whatever it took.

  I leaned into him, into the storm of wind and rage, and screamed at him to stop. The ground loomed nearer, now the Raptor powered up again, wings beating hard, the sound of them immense. I could not hear myself think.

  Out of the blue-dark a boneshaking thud smashed us so hard I heard something crack, whether in me or in the Raptor I wasn’t sure. It must have been him, for I couldn’t feel anything. It was incredible I was still hanging on but I couldn’t for much longer. Peri swore as she veered away. Don’t try that again, Peri. I won’t survive it.

  The Raptor beat up higher, preparing to spiral down. No way could I hold on through another series of rolls. No way could I make it to the ground alive without his help, either.

  An image of Frisk, Raptor feather in his mane, flashed across my brain. Halley wincing when I caught her feather. My only chance. I grabbed one of his feathers and pulled. Hard. A violent shudder wrenched his frame.

  ‘Listen to me,’ I snarled, and pulled out another feather. He shivered again. He was listening. ‘You get me down safely,’ I hissed, ‘or I’ll pull your flight feathers out one—by—one. You’ll be dead in the air too. I’ll pluck you like a fucking chicken.’

  I grabbed another feather and tugged. He turned, shearing down the wind, gliding as best he could, floundering under my weight. ‘Roof,’ he gasped. ‘Best can do. Crash any lower.’ His strangled words proved how much the flight was costing him. I relaxed my grip on his feathers a fraction, enough to let him know I understood.

  The rest of the flight could only have been a few seconds but they were the longest moments of my life, time expanding like the tail of a comet, stars streaking with speed, blue and green and red and white lights smearing, wind slicing me, atoms spread across the sky, part of the very sky, world dropping away.

  Even SkyNation was nothing, nothing, compared to this whirl, this wild dark falling flight. In spite of the terror and the rage, I understood, in that endless instant, why they loved it so, why they would give up anything for it. In those moments, I too was a flier.

  Circling above a clear building shining blue from within, no, it’s too high, no, no, not now but now or never, loosening grip, have to let go at the right moment, tumbling through air.

  Crunch. Sickening. Waves of pain.

  In a rush of wings the Raptor was lost to the sky. I uncurled my body a little, gingerly, from clasping the dome I was lying on and peered around me. I was very high. Right in the middle of the City, on the top of a high building, a cold wind gusting over me.

  My ankle burned. Something warm ran down my arm. I inspected it in the cold light beaming from the building. Blood. Running purple in the blue light. The thing had scraped me against the castle wall when I’d first grappled with it and shredded my flesh as well as the leather sleeve of the flying jacket. I hadn’t felt it grate me but now my flesh throbbed.

  My slick. Surprised, I answered.

  ‘Mate!’ yelled Henryk. ‘What-the-fuck-is-going-on? SkyNation security has called in our flying squad, which they never do, they never let us near their exclusive little shindig, and now I hear a Raptor’s got you. What the hell are you doing up there with all the freaks—you okay?’

  ‘I think so but I need someone to pick me up. Soon. Where’s Peri?’

  ‘Mick’s bringing her in. She’s pretty beat up but won’t let anyone look at her. We’ll take her to my flat. I haven’t got tenants in there and I can’t think where else is safe. Where are you?’

  ‘No idea.’ I realised a blue dome of light surrounded me. ‘Henryk, you’re not going to believe this. I’m on top of the Church of the Seraphim!’

  ‘Fuck!’ barked Henryk. ‘The least you could do is not make extra work for us.’

  As I drifted in and out of consciousness waiting for Henryk and the rescuers, trying to plaster myself to the church’s glassy surface, I was overwhelmed by the physical memory of the blue air, the plunging flight, my falling aeon as a flier. A fragment of that euphoria would always be preserved in me, its beauty and terror as intense as the night Thomas was born. I knew now I couldn’t deny Thomas this freedom, this world entire. I’d tasted the sky and glimpsed the dream that was now his inheritance. I could not stand in his way.

  Waiting on that slippery roof should have been terrifying but after my time at Cloud City and SkyNation, I could control my vertigo enough to sit tight and watch the great coloured bauble of the top of Cloud City, Chesshyre’s triumph—his final triumph?—float above the City.

  By the time Henryk and the rescue workers clambered out from the neighbouring building onto the roof, I was shaking so violently with cold and shock I could barely speak, and yet as my ankle was bound up, Henryk and I were seized by wild hilarity at being in the one place where our presence was most unwanted. We couldn’t stop laughing, though I feared my laughter would shake me free and slide me into the dark. As the rescuers helped me across the access buttress Henryk said, ‘Thought you’d like to know we’ve just arrested David Brilliant for trafficking. And accessory to murder.’

  I sat on a chair in Henryk’s vacant flat, my foot up on a cushion. Tomorrow new bone would be implanted to help the break heal. ‘You’re lucky it’s the only thing broken,’ the rescue workers had said. No-one believed my story of how I came to be there, except Henryk, until I showed them the red feathers I still clutched in my fingers.

  Henryk ordered us food and took his leave. ‘I’ve got to get some sleep,’ he said. ‘I’m starting work in a couple of hours.’

  ‘Are you okay?’ I said to Peri. Hugo was asleep in her arms. We’d had to detour via the Jack and Jill child-care centre to pick him up.

  ‘Is this one of those child hotels?’ I’d said as we pulled up to the seedy highrise, with its billboard slick outside that made it look like a resort, complete with palm-fringed pool. From newborns to 12 years old, the sign said: 24 hour care; weekly rates. Special needs catered for. Separate dormitories for boys and girls. We give them the best holiday so you can have the best holiday. ‘Never seen one of these before.’

  ‘Jack and Jill?’ said Henryk. ‘Hope that doesn’t reflect their stand- ard of care. I recall J and J suffered a distinct lack of trained supervision and sustained notifiable injuries as a result.’ He shook his head. ‘CaFS workers call these ratholes kid kennels. They have to use them, too.’

  Frisk was lying next to Peri, his head shoved into her side, rumbling intermittently. The little lion was in a trance of bliss. He so clearly preferred Peri to me that I couldn’t help smiling, though I was a bit hurt. Ungrateful creature. Who tended your injuries so devotedly?

  Some of the white powder caked on Peri’s wings had dusted onto Frisk’s nose and was drifting down onto the cushions of the sofa where she sat, her arms around Hugo. The flat crump of night-time surf drifted in through the slightly open window.

  ‘I’m alright,’ Peri said. ‘But so sore. Hate to think how much all this’ll hurt tomorrow.’

  ‘Peri, what is going on? When I saw you at Janeane’s you agreed to bring Hugo back. I know you did start to fulfil your promise—’

  ‘The tracking device,’ Peri interrupted. ‘Yes, I found out about that.’

  I shrugged. ‘It was the responsible thing to do.’

  ‘I know it was,’ said Peri. ‘You saved my life with that thing.’

  ‘So what happened? You didn’t show in the City when you were supposed to and now you turn up trying to kill Chesshyre. Henryk spoke to the hospital. Peter’s stable now so he’s lucky to be alive, I guess.’


  ‘No,’ said Peri. ‘It’s not luck. If I’d wanted him dead, he would be. It was a warning.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Hugo is mine,’ Peri said.

  And then she told me. She told me about her plan to run away and about her change of heart. Wow, I thought as I listened. The vastness of the land and sea had achieved what no merely human argument could: shown Peri her smallness compared to the forces against her.

  She told me about the storm and her rescue, her time with Audax, the raid and what happened as a result of the raid. By the time she described the fight with the Wild over Heavener Ridge, I felt like I’d been punched in the heart.

  ‘So you see,’ Peri said, ‘when Audax made me take part in their raid I thought it was such a cruel thing to do. But it turned out it was one of the most important things anyone’s ever done for me. Zeke, if I’d just brought Hugo back to the City like I promised, I’d never have known I was Hugo’s mother. Can you imagine how that makes me feel? If I’d done the right thing from the start, I would never have known.’

  I thought of my conversation with Mira. It would keep.

  ‘So you decided to make it clear when you came back that you would not just let Peter take Hugo from you?’ I said. ‘Not sure you chose the best tactic, Peri.’

  Peri stared at me. ‘What would you suggest? He had me chased into that storm. I nearly died. Hugo too.’

  I thought of Peter showing me the rose Peri had given him. Even though he’d had an affair with her, dumped her, abused his wealth and power to make her bear his child, even after all that, the worst betrayal was his lies. He was lucky to be alive after what he’d done to her.

  Peri shivered. She looked so sick her skin took on a greenish tinge.

  ‘Peri, you’re not well. I think we need to get someone to take a look at you.’

  ‘I’ll be okay.’

  ‘So what did you think—Peri, what on earth!’ I gasped. The front of her shirt bloomed red. I just had time to grab Hugo from her before she slumped to the floor.

  Peri was in intensive care, and still unconscious, when I visited her in the hospital nearest to Flierville the next day. I’d had treatment there myself on my ankle that morning and then limped up to her ward, Hugo walking next to me, clinging to my hand. I wasn’t a family member, but then, who was?

  Several of Peri’s ribs had been broken, I was told. I thought of the bone-shaking crack when she’d hit the Raptor in mid-flight. Like me, her skin had been badly scraped along her arms and, worse, her belly, from struggling with the Raptor and being dragged along the castle battlements. The skin she’d sprayed on the wounds at first must have held for a little while then given way—that first-aid skin was only meant for minor wounds. She had lost blood and now infection was raging.

  I sat by the bed and took Peri’s hand. Her skin was hot and dry. ‘Look, I’ve brought Hugo to see you.’

  Hugo patted Peri’s face. ‘Up?’ he said to me, his little brow wrinkling with worry. ‘Mama ’ug?’

  ‘She has to sleep, Hugo,’ I said.

  When we got out onto the street I bent down next to Hugo, favouring my good leg.

  ‘What am I going to do with you, Hugo?’ I didn’t want to be charged with kidnapping either. As I walked Hugo to the light rail, my eye was caught by one of the big slicks on the platform that ran ads, music, news headlines. scandal in nanny agency said one headline. babies for sale ! shrieked another. investigation goes to highest echelons of child and family services said a more sober news service. opposition calls for inquiry said a fourth. calls to sack department head, second in two years. At last, the juggernaut set in motion by me and Cam and Henryk was crashing into public view.

  I took Hugo to my flat. Halley rang me. ‘Are you alright?’

  ‘I think so,’ I said.

  I laughed out loud when she told me that Chesshyre was in the same hospital as Peri. That made sense; it was the closest to the SkyNation site.

  I rang the Chesshyre-Katon house but, as I expected, there was no answer. So Avis had not returned. I rang Henryk’s wife, Vivienne. She didn’t mind babysitting Hugo out at Zen Estates for the afternoon.

  I found Chesshyre awake, propped up in bed on a pile of pillows, reading.

  ‘You’re still alive,’ I said, standing in the doorway. ‘Lucky you.’

  Unlike Peri’s crowded intensive care ward, with its green-curtained beds and dark laminated floors, Peter’s room was light and hushed, as luxurious as a hotel room, with its pale wooden blinds and pale walls and desk which now bore a profusion of exotic flowers, greenery and fruit.

  Chesshyre turned the slick in his hands so I could see it. Of course. Headlines about Brilliant’s arrest. ‘Seems to be an awful lot of news about at the moment,’ he said. ‘Anything to do with you?’ His skin was the colour of icing sugar, its pallor emphasised by the cream robe wrapped around him. His wings were folded underneath him and looked lustreless, the feathers dry and disordered.

  ‘Yes, it has a lot to do with me. And with you too, for that matter.’

  Chesshyre sat up a bit further. ‘So, can you tell me anything about this?’ he said, indicating one of his wings.

  ‘What?’

  ‘They removed a bolt from my wing,’ said Chesshyre. ‘Traced to a weapon stolen from an armoury a few years ago. No-one will tell me more than that.’

  ‘SkyNation organisers are less than keen to pursue an investigation. The police won’t be motivated to do much more since they’re getting so little cooperation from your people, who always insist on their own security anyway.’

  Chesshyre sighed. ‘They won’t want any interference in their affairs, even if it means covering up what happened to me. But you know who’s responsible?’

  ‘We both know,’ I said. ‘But you’re the one who brought violence into this case.’

  ‘So I’ve only myself to blame? She’s the one who stole Hugo!’

  ‘You’re the one who stole Hugo and you know it.’ I thought of the red rose again. Why was I here? To parade my righteous anger at a wounded man? No. I was here to try to make Peri’s plan actually work; I was here to make Chesshyre understand that he had to negotiate with her, especially as more and more people were going to know the truth about him and Peri and Hugo.

  Chesshyre was silent.

  ‘I want to know where Avis is,’ I said.

  ‘I told you, she left. What business is it of yours?’

  ‘Well, there’s really no-one to look after Hugo at the moment.’

  Chesshyre was electrified, as I’d intended. He jerked bolt upright. ‘You know where Hugo is? Is he safe?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘For god’s sake, Fowler, bloody well sit down. You’re annoying the crap out of me, hovering like that.’ Chesshyre gestured to the visitor’s chair at the side of his bed.

  I sat.

  Chesshyre fixed his gaze on me. ‘You have to stop protecting Peri and give Hugo to me. Immediately.’

  ‘How are you going to look after him in here? Besides, I don’t work for you anymore. Remember?’

  ‘That has nothing to do with it. Hugo is my son.’

  ‘He’s Peri’s son too. Disposing of her is not an option, Peter. Brilliant tried that with Luisa Perros and, as you say, that’s generated rather a lot of news.’ I took a deep breath. ‘Peri is very sick. You’d better pray she doesn’t die. When she wakes up you will meet with her and decide what arrangements you will make. You can’t just take Hugo away from her. Peri’s made it clear she won’t let you.’

  ‘Nonsense,’ Chesshyre snapped. ‘Hugo will live with me.’ But he looked thoughtful.

  ‘Where is Avis?’ I said.

  ‘Gone,’ said Chesshyre. ‘I’ve told you that.’

  ‘Yes, but where? And why?’

  ‘Who know
s? Her staff have been calling me morning and night. Her collection’s due in three weeks but no word or sign from her.’

  ‘Peter, you know why Avis left.’

  Chesshyre blinked. ‘Yes,’ he said. He took a deep breath. ‘I do know why. You know that I used to be a non-flier like you. I didn’t get my wings till I was seventeen.’

  I nodded. He was getting around to answering my question. This was the scenic route. His injury and hospitalisation, the shock of Avis leaving, even hearing that Hugo was almost within reach, meant he had to talk.

  ‘It took me a long time to realise the truth. My twenties were one long decade of euphoria—the exhilaration of Flight, the beginning of my professional career. There was something essential I ignored in my happiness. And that was that I was not attracted to other fliers. All my thoughts were about women who were not fliers. That was who I grew up with; they were real women to me. But mixed marriages don’t work. Well, a few do—most fail. I thought I loved Avis, once. I just never desired her. Nor any other flier. Ever.’

  Chesshyre broke off as a nurse padded into the room on thickly soled shoes. Discreetly I moved over to the window as she took his temperature or whatever she was supposed to do but inside I was seething. Would Chesshyre keep talking after this interruption? After the nurse left, I resettled myself in the chair and Chesshyre spoke again without looking at me. He wanted to finish what he’d started to say.

  ‘I’d give a lot to know how common this is. I even saw someone about it. I asked him whether other fliers felt the same way and he said we weren’t there to talk about other fliers. I could’ve killed him. That was what I needed to know. He thought it was transitional. That the new generation growing up with wings would know nothing else. Wish I could be so sure.’

  It occurred to me that it was a little late in the day to be beginning to worry about this but I held my tongue.