Roustabout

by Jane Harvey-Berrick

  It was such an affectionate gesture, but then I reasoned that it was just Tucker being Tucker.

  Even so, I was determined to enjoy it.

  I turned around too fast, slipping slightly, and Tucker clamped his long fingers around my biceps.

  “Careful, sugar,” he said, grinning. “Can’t have you throwing yourself at my feet.”

  “Oh shut up,” I said, using a vocabulary that my hundred-and-fifty-thousand dollar college education had paid for.

  I pressed my lips against his, and he responded willingly. I was expecting the same rough passion of the night before, but he was gentle, sensual.

  His mouth moved softly against mine, his tongue just hinting at the aggression I knew he was capable of, his fingers moving over my hips in soothing strokes.

  I could feel his hard length pressing between us, but he didn’t seem in any hurry.

  Then he pulled away from me and reached across for the shampoo. I was surprised and touched when he started to massage my scalp, his thumbs making me sigh with pleasure before his strong fingers slipped to my neck and shoulders.

  “I didn’t know you could use shampoo for that,” I hummed happily.

  “One of several off-label uses,” he chuckled, nudging me with his hard dick.

  “Well, I approve,” I said, at the same time thinking of reaching back to stroke him. “They could re-brand it as shower-lube.”

  “Hey! I didn’t say anything!” Tucker laughed. “It was your mind that went straight to the gutter.”

  “Hmm,” I murmured, my tone noncommittal even though he was dead on.

  He turned me around and rinsed my hair under the showerhead, then repeated the whole process with conditioner.

  “By the way, what’s with the tattoos?”

  His hands stilled for a moment, then he shrugged.

  “Too much to drink—woke up with those,” and he jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

  Four stars outlined in thick, black ink cascaded from his shoulder to the middle of his back, decreasing in size. They were neat, but not beautiful, and I could tell that he didn’t like them.

  “I have a feeling there’s more to that story,” I teased. “I’ll make you tell me one day.”

  He laughed deeply. “Miss Hawkins, you’re wet and naked in the shower with me. I’m fairly certain you could make me say my name was Daisy Duke and I’d do it with a smile.”

  My hands were hot and slippery when I reached out to touch his erect dick. He sucked in a deep breath and stepped away from me.

  I looked up at him, puzzled.

  “Shower sex is a bad, bad idea,” he chuckled, shaking his head as he leaned against the tiles.

  “I think it’s a great idea,” I said, pressing my breasts against his chest and reaching up to kiss his lips lightly.

  He kissed me back briefly, then let his head thud against the wall.

  “Man, shower sex is not all it’s cut out to be. You get shampoo in your eyes, and your arms feel like they’re about to drop off while you’re holding her up, and my legs always start to go in the last minute . . .”

  I sniggered quietly. “Sounds like you need to hit the gym,” and I slapped my hand against his rock-hard stomach.

  He winked at me, but didn’t take the hint.

  I tried again, pressing against him, sliding his dick between my legs, enjoying the firm pressure.

  But he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me away, a serious look on his face.

  “I don’t have any more rubbers, TC.”

  I stood on tiptoe and licked his ear. “That’s okay, I’m on the pill and I’m clean.”

  A pained look passed over his face. “I haven’t gotten tested in . . . a while.”

  That got through to me. “Oh.”

  “Fuck,” he muttered quietly, fisting his hands against his thighs.

  “Oh well, there’s other stuff we can do,” and I stroked him again.

  “TC . . .”

  “Shh,” I said, and this time he didn’t argue.

  Tucker

  Damn it all to hell. This woman was going to be the death of me.

  I was propped up against the tiles in the shower, trying to remember how to breathe as she washed my cum from her hands and stomach. My legs were shaking and I’d pretty much lost the power of speech.

  She smirked at me over her shoulder.

  “You really shouldn’t argue with me, Tucker.”

  “No, ma’am,” I wheezed.

  I stuck my head under the hot water and shook like a dog, flicking wet hair out of my eyes.

  Tera laughed happily as she stepped out of the shower, her eyes smiling, and I knew: this was why I’d stayed—for that look. Because I didn’t want her to think I was an asshole even if I was, even if this was the first time I’d stayed the night because I wanted a woman to think well of me. I was fucked. I had to finish this now. I had to tell her that . . .

  “Do you want to do something later?” she asked.

  “Later?”

  She raised her eyebrows, a smirk pulling at her softly swollen lips.

  “Yes, later: the time that comes after now.”

  “TC, I don’t . . .”

  Her smile dropped. “I know. One night stand and all of that. But honestly, Tucker, if casual sex is always as great as that for you, I’m really envious.”

  I thought about her words as I dried myself with a thick, white towel that spoke of luxury I could never afford.

  No, sex was never so . . . intense. Yeah, that was the word—fucking intense.

  “Look,” she said, her voice no nonsense, “Like I told you, I’m in town because I’m helping my dad with a couple of things, as well as seeing Kes and Aimee. So I’d definitely be up for some more mind-altering sex. Not right now, because like I said, I have some appointments. But I can be free after dinner if you want round two.”

  I should say no. I should definitely say no. But those weren’t the words that came out of my mouth.

  “Aw, sugar, are you begging me again?”

  She slapped my butt with her wet towel. Man, that stung!

  “Don’t be an ass, although I know that comes naturally to you.”

  Then she turned to a chest of drawers and pulled out a pretty lace bra and panties that were dark pink and looked silky. My mouth watered, and I watched with hungry eyes as she continued dressing.

  She glanced over her shoulder, watching me watching her.

  “A gentleman wouldn’t have looked.”

  “I never said I was a gentleman.”

  “Yes, you did!”

  Damn—she had me there.

  “That was last night,” I grinned at her.

  “Oh, go play with your porn collection,” she muttered, then smiled at my stunned expression. “Aimee told me,” she said with a grin.

  “It’s a complete misunderstanding,” I lied, shaking my head.

  “Oh wait, let me guess . . . you were studying anatomy.”

  Her phone rang, interrupting whatever I might have said—not that I had a whole lot of thoughts in my head once she mentioned porn. And how the hell did Aimee know about that? I was going to have words with Kes when I got back to the carnival.

  “Yes, Jeffrey, I’ll be there,” she sighed impatiently into the phone. “Fine. Fine. Yes, okay.”

  She tossed her phone onto the bed.

  “I have to go.”

  “Work?”

  “Yes, breakfast meeting. Can you show yourself out?”

  “I can be ready in ten seconds, sugar,” I said, reaching for my clothes that were still in a pile on the floor. But then I glanced up and saw her worried expression. “Oh, right—I’m not supposed to be seen with you.” I kept my voice deliberately casual. “Don’t worry, beautiful. I’m trained in stealth and evasion.” And I’ve crept out of a lot of women’s rooms.

  “I’m sorry.”

  I shrugged. “Don’t be. I’ve been thrown out of worse places.”

  She shimmied into a tight-fit
ting skirt that made her ass look like a ripe peach.

  “So, are we on for tonight?” she asked, slipping on a sleeveless shirt that looked like it might be made of silk as well.

  “Well now, I don’t recall agreeing to that,” I teased her.

  She didn’t bother to reply, but tossed her damp towel at my head.

  “You sweet-talked me into it,” I laughed, catching it one-handed. “Where do you want to meet? Wait, I’ll give you my cell number,” I offered, breaking a cardinal rule. “You could call me?”

  She threw me an amused look at my hesitant tone.

  “And if I don’t?”

  “I’ll feel used and abused,” I deadpanned.

  Tera laughed out loud, and the sound made me smile.

  “Poor baby.” Then she pointed at her phone. “Put your number in. I’ll call you later.”

  And she disappeared to the bathroom to fix her makeup.

  I punched in my number, knowing I’d broken about all of my own rules with this woman, but I couldn’t stop myself smiling while I did it.

  When we were both ready to leave, I slipped out of her room first and headed to the Duke.

  Tucker

  It was midmorning by the time I rode back to the fairground. I could still taste her on my lips, and just thinking about Tera was making me hard again.

  I had to push the thought away before I got in a wreck.

  But when I drove up to the RV, Aimee was waiting outside and as soon as Kes heard the Duke, he appeared behind her.

  Shit! Already? How the hell had they found out?

  I stood my ground, waiting for Kes to throw the first punch. But he didn’t. Instead, there was a weird expression on his face and Aimee looked downright upset.

  “Tucker, your phone’s off. I’ve been trying to call you.”

  I shrugged. “I was getting a lot of random calls so I turned it off.”

  Kes nodded slowly then shot a look at Aimee who was chewing her lip.

  “We were worried about you,” she said softly. “You don’t usually stay out . . . um, you usually come home after, so . . .”

  She blinked, looking helplessly at Kes.

  “Yeah, well those calls weren’t that random,” Kes continued as he reached out to take Aimee’s hand. “They called Zach instead and he called me.”

  What?

  “Yeah?” I said casually, my heart beginning to race.

  To hide my thoughts, I turned away to start getting ready for the day.

  Kes laid his hand on my shoulder.

  “I’m sorry, man. It was your brother calling. He wanted to tell you . . . your mom died.”

  I waited, waited to feel something. A soft tug at my memory, then . . . nothing.

  Kes was still staring at me.

  And what? Did he think I’d give a shit?

  I looked straight ahead. “Okay.”

  Kes’s grip tightened on my shoulder. “Did you hear me, bro?”

  “Yep.”

  I shrugged him off and went to collect my leathers from the RV.

  Aimee’s voice was hesitant behind me.

  “Do you think . . . do you want to call your brother?”

  “Nope.”

  There was a pause while they muttered behind me.

  “Just leave him,” Zef said quietly. “He’ll deal with it when he’s ready—his way.”

  We walked over to the showground in silence, working steadily under the hot sun while my numb brain swirled uselessly.

  I’d done set-up so many times, that I didn’t need to think about what went where. Which was just as well, because my mind wasn’t on the job.

  We finished mid-afternoon, then did a run-through of the show. The fair didn’t open until tomorrow, so I was officially finished for the day. Most people used a day off to do chores, but my only intention was to get shit-faced.

  Zef wiped the sweat off his forehead and slapped my shoulder. “Let’s take a break. There’s not much left to do. I can finish up later.”

  I ignored him and carried on checking that the wingnuts on the rig’s wheels were as tight as they should be. I’d noticed one was loose the day before.

  Zef walked up and grabbed the wrench from my hand.

  “You make a mistake, and we’re all fucked,” he said flatly. “Come on, Aimee called chow time 20 minutes ago.”

  I stood up and stretched my back and neck.

  “Broccoli pizza?”

  Zef laughed. “Yeah, maybe.”

  “Son of a bitch stew, that would be fucking funny, wouldn’t it?” I grinned at him.

  Zef frowned but didn’t answer. No sense of humor, some people.

  Aimee had put some beers in a cooler outside the RV, so I grabbed one as soon as I arrived then collapsed onto a patch of grass. I drank deeply, letting the heat of the day and the tiredness leach out of me.

  Ollo was there, sitting in the doorway of the RV, his legs dangling.

  “You smell like a whore’s bedroom,” he grinned at me, wrinkling his nose.

  A flare of anger shot through me but I hid it behind a smile.

  “Damn, Ollo, how’d you get so short? Jeez, you could sit on the edge of carpet pile and swing your legs.”

  “And you’re so tall, your blood doesn’t get all the way to your brain, which explains why you’re so dumb.”

  “As long as my blood gets to my dick, I’m good.”

  That’s when Aimee smacked me upside the head.

  “Ow! What the hell’s that for?”

  “I could give you a long list of reasons,” she smirked, “but really, do I need one?”

  “No,” laughed Ollo. “Hit him again, Aimee. It’s like watching whack-a-mole, but more fun.”

  Aimee ignored us both, dishing up something that may or may not have been meatloaf. I was too hungry to care.

  I’d only taken a couple of mouthfuls before she started.

  “Did you call your brother yet?”

  “Stepbrother,” I said, without looking up. “I’m not related to that asshole.”

  “Okay, stepbrother: so, did you call?”

  Kes shot her a look, but she ignored him.

  I’d been working hard all day to forget that Asshole 1 or Asshole 2 had been in touch. Unfortunately, not answering didn’t work.

  “Did you?” she persisted.

  I threw my fork down and stared straight back at her.

  “Hey, Aimee, you’re a teacher: how do you spell o-bitch-uary?”

  I laughed at my own joke. It was pretty funny for spur of the moment. Hmm, looked like I was the only person who thought so.

  “Wait, I got another one for you,” I said, tipping a second beer down my throat and wiping my mouth on the back of my hand, but Aimee’s wounded expression made me shut the hell up.

  I immediately regretted the lame joke, but she had no idea what she was talking about.

  “That’s enough, man,” Kes said quietly.

  My appetite was officially done, so I left my plate of food on the ground for Bo who dropped the piece of pineapple he’d been eating and dove in.

  I envied the hairy little dude: eat, sleep, shit, repeat.

  I grabbed a bottle of Johnny Walker and a six-pack, ignoring the loaded looks. Whatever—we didn’t have a show tonight—and I headed out.

  I didn’t know where I was going—somewhere people weren’t talking at me all of the time.

  For a second, I was tempted to call Tera. But hell, she didn’t need my shit, and she’d made it damn clear that all she was offering was sex. Of course she wouldn’t want to get mixed up with a guy like me—or the shit that my life had been before I joined the carnival.

  I was halfway across the fairground before I knew where I was going.

  Jade was one of a pair of trapeze artists that traveled with us. I’d hooked up with her a couple of months back and she’d let me know that she’d be up for another go-around. She was cool, and the only reason I was prepared to make an exception to my rules was because she wasn’
t interested in a relationship. And I really needed to get laid right now. I needed to stop thinking, stop feeling. I needed to be me, the Tucker McCoy who didn’t give a shit about anyone else.

  She was doing stretches outside her RV when I walked up, her body bending and flexing in some seriously crazy ways.

  “Hey, Tucker! Aw, you brought whiskey. You might just be the ideal man.”

  She grinned, and relief flowed through me. I wouldn’t have to talk, wouldn’t have to think about anything else tonight.

  I crouched down next to her and pulled her lips toward me, kissing her hard. I ignored the voice in my brain that said she didn’t taste as good as Tera.

  “Someone’s eager,” she said breathlessly. But then she pulled away. “Jeez, Tucker, you stink. When did you last shower?”

  “Earlier,” I mumbled against her neck. “Morning.”

  “Yeah, well I’m not going to fuck you smelling like that. Go take a shower.”

  “Come with me,” I said, pulling her to her feet.

  I didn’t have to ask twice.

  I fucked her in the shower and twice in her bed. Hours later, as the carnival sank into silence, she snored softly. For me, sleep was as far away as ever. I needed the distraction of a show, needed the concentration of a performance, because that meant there was no space in my head to think of anything else.

  But now, with the too quiet space around me, I couldn’t even close my eyes, because when I tried, I saw Tera’s beautiful face staring at me, disappointment curling the sides of her mouth downwards.

  Why the hell did I feel guilty? She wanted a hookup and that’s what she got—no strings. But that didn’t stop the acid pooling in my gut. Tired and frustrated, I scrubbed at my eyes.

  If sex didn’t work, I’d try booze.

  I rolled out of her bed quietly and headed back to the RV. I checked my phone, seeing two missed calls from Tera, but she hadn’t left a message.

  We were supposed to hook up again tonight, but I couldn’t use her like that. She was sweet, decent. And she was Kes’s sister. What the fuck had I been thinking?

  Zef was sitting outside the RV drinking from a bottle of bourbon. He handed it to me without asking where I’d been, and we sat there quietly as the bottle passed between us.

  Eventually, he spoke.