BLINDED BY DESIRE

by Arabella Sheen

  Beth lived in the farm cottage when she wasn’t away on one of her garden design projects, and Paul, who had converted one of the many outbuildings into a home, stayed there with his long-term girlfriend Clair.

  If Beth wasn’t on the farm at Evergreen, she was up and down the country working. Paul looked after the farm when she wasn’t home. The arrangement worked for them both and very quickly the business became thriving and very successful.

  She had no regrets about leaving the rat race of city. And once she had settled into the rural life of Devonshire, Beth thought she’d found everything she’d wanted.

  But there were moments . . . moments like the weekend a few months ago at Clifton Hall, when she had tasted the challenge and thrust of Jason Andre’s world and what that world had to offer. And those moments had made her wonder if the quiet she had found at Evergreen was what she was really looking for.

  She remembered the morning with Jason in the library, when he had talked about his villa in Greece.

  She could still smell his energy.

  Feel his driving force.

  He emitted power. And in that moment she remembered that she too had wanted to be part of his world . . . part of his way of life.

  The winter months were well and truly here, and there was a deep carpet of fresh crisp white snow. The snow had fallen during the night.

  Everywhere was covered in a white powder.

  Braving the cold of the early morning Beth got out of bed and wrapping herself in her favourite worn dressing gown. She went down stairs and made a pot of coffee. When she’d had her morning coffee, she got dressed and on the spur of the moment she decided to go for a long walk before starting work.

  Beth had been walking in the woods for over an hour, when she thought it was about time she returned home.

  Back at the farm, she stepped through the front door into the warmth of the farm cottage and from the other room she heard her mobile ringing.

  She usually left the phone on charge over-night, but this morning she’d forgotten to take it out with her.

  Going into the kitchen and still shaking the snow from her hair, she lifted the mobile from its docking station.

  “Beth Ashton speaking,” she answered.

  “Beth? . . . Beth my dear it’s me . . . Sophie Fitzgerald.”

  “Hi-a . . . Nice to hear from you Sophie. It’s been weeks since we talked. How are you and how’s Charles? Everything alright your end? No problem with the gardens - I hope.”

  “No darling. The gardens are fine. No, there’s no problem there. They’re lovely. But Beth my dear . . . let me get straight to the point. Do you think you could possibly come here to Clifton Hall for the weekend? I’d like to ask you something but I’m not sure how to. I need to see you. It’s not something I can ask over the phone.”

  “Nothing serious is it Sophie?”

  “Beth, could you come . . . please?”

  It almost sounded as if Sophie was begging.

  Beth had left Clifton Hall the day Jason had kissed her in the walled garden.

  She had returned to the lodge to collect her luggage and had left as soon as she could. Beth had never wanted to return to Clifton Hall again and run the risk of seeing Jason Andre.

  But hearing desperation and an urgency in Sophie’s voice Beth didn’t falter and she quickly made a decision.

  “Yes of course I’ll come,” she said, “I’ll see you at the weekend Sophie. I’ll have to arrange things here with Paul and Clair, but I’ll be there.”

  “Thank you Beth . . . you don’t know how much this will mean to us. We’ll see you this week-end and I’ll explain everything to you then.”

  Puzzled and confused by what she had just heard and what she had just promised, Beth returned the mobile to its docking station and plonked herself in a chair.

  She had no idea what the problem was and she was left wondering if a massive error had been made with her design or if the lake had run dry.

  Surely if something was wrong with her work, the estates head gardener would have contacted her directly.

  Still none the wiser about why Sophie needed to see her, on Friday Beth left the farm early and drove to the Hall in her old Land Rover.

  Some day when she had a bit more cash floating around she planned to buy a new Ranger Rover. But for now, the four wheel drive she’d since her student days at University got her from A to B and back and it would have to do.

  Reaching the Hall she pulled in and came to a stop beside the converted stable block.

  There were several cars in the stables, but the one that stood out the most was Jason’s black Porsche.

  “Now why’s Jason’s car here?” she thought.

  Collecting her things from the back seat of the Land Rover, she walked up to the Hall and went inside without knocking on the heavy oak doors.

  Calling out Sophie’s name as she walked through the hallway, Beth went in search of her.

  She eventually discovered Sophie sat alone in the drawing room, in a large winged back chair, beside a burning fire.

  Getting to her feet, Sophie came welcomingly towards Beth with outstretched arms. Sophie gave Beth a welcoming kiss on both cheeks.

  “Beth my dear. Thank you for coming here so quickly. I know you didn’t want to come back to Clifton Hall, but I could think of no one else I could ask for help.”

  Beth could see Sophie was obviously distressed about something.

  Usually Sophie was a calm person and not at all emotional.

  She couldn’t recall seeing her so distressed before; not even when Charles had made a pass during dinner, on the weekend when Jason had stayed at the Hall.

  Helping Sophie back into a chair, Beth took a seat and asked worriedly, “What is it? What’s happened to up-set you? . . . Is it Charles? Has he left you?”

  “No, no . . . Charles is fine. He’s in London at the moment. No, the problem isn’t Charles . . . it’s -it’s my brother Jason.”

  Sophie hands were trembling as she spoke.

  Beth remained silent and listened to Sophie as Jason’s recent ordeal was revealed.

  Taking a deep breath, Sophie began to tell Beth what had occurred.

  “The accident happened more or less just after you had finished doing the gardens here. You’d left to go back to Devon. If you’d been here, you would have known about the accident.”

  Sophie rubbed her shaking hands over her tearful eyes and continued.

  “Jason was flying to Manchester one afternoon. He was on one of his trips. A business projects for the firm . . . He was in a small private plane when it crashed.”

  Stunned, Beth gasped in horror.

  She was shocked at what she was being told, and sensing there was still more to come, she leant forward fearing to hear the worst.

  “The Para-Medic’s said they had found Jason unconscious. He was lying on the ground beside the plane. Even with his leg broken, it was obvious Jason had pulled the pilot free from the burning wreckage. The pilot didn’t make it. Only Jason survived the crash.”

  “How is he now? How’s Jason?”

  Beth felt her stomach churning at the thought of Jason lying helpless and defenceless amongst the burning debris of the plane wreckage.

  Anxiously she looked at Sophie waiting for answers.

  Sophie shook her head with hopelessness before throwing up her hands in despair.

  “One moment he’s ranting and raving about having to complete the project in Manchester and the next he’s on about his villa in Greece. The doctors were saying he shouldn’t have any stress or worry. But his work seems to be tormenting him horribly.”

  “And his injuries? What about his broken leg?” Beth asked tentatively, afraid of what she would be told.

  “We decided he couldn’t go back to his luxury penthouse apartment on his own. So we brought him from the hospital to the Hall. Or at least Charles did. Charles drove Jason down in the Porsche. Jason was in hospital for nearly two months. His broken leg is
on the mend and he’s having physiotherapy of course, but . . . but . . . that’s not his main concern. Beth, I can’t explain it . . . you’d better come and see Jason for yourself.”

  Sophie got slowly out of her chair and together they made their way out of the drawing room and towards the back of the house.

  “Jason likes to sit in the Orangery,” Sophie explained, “He says he likes to feel the warmth of the sun on his face.”

  They were nearly at the door to the garden room when Beth stopped suddenly in her tracks.

  She simply had to know what was wrong with Jason.

  “Why do you need me here Sophie? What has it to do with me? But most importantly, what is it you want me to do?”

  They were stood outside the door to the Orangery and Jason was sitting just inside.

  He was behind the closed door.

  Beth felt Sophie placed a hand on her arm as if seeking support.

  “He needs to be doing something. He’ll go crazy if he stays here at the Clifton Hall. He can’t be without his work . . . and I thought that perhaps if you could go with him – he could travel to Greece, and you could landscape his gardens. It would give him something to do.”

  That was an impossible idea.

  Beth had told Jason she didn’t want anything more to do with him. She had never wanted to see him again. And she couldn’t possibly go to Greece with him. She simply couldn’t.

  She wouldn’t work on his project. It was unthinkable.

  She’d already sent him the blueprints designs and she’d washed her hands of him.

  No . . . after what had happened in the walled garden . . . it was impossible.

  Let his girlfriend Trudy or one of his adoring female companions pander to his every whim.

  All Beth knew was, it wasn’t going to be her traveling and working with him.

  And away, she couldn’t possibly go to Greece . . . with or without Jason. She had her work here in England. She would be giving up too much.

  She just couldn’t down tools and take off to live in a foreign country. Especially with someone she had only known for one brief weekend.

  “Beth, you could really help him with his work,” Sophie persisted.

  Sophie opened the doors to the Orangery and then there was no opportunity to discuss the matter further, because the person they were talking about was sat in front of them.

  Jason was in one of the large wicker chairs and his broken leg was in a plaster-cast elevated on a footstool.

  Hearing the door to the Orangery open, he had turned his head to see who was there.

  It was then Beth saw him for the first time in months.

  She felt her stomach turn over with excitement and nerves.

  Jason had always had that effect on her.

  Even with his leg in a plaster-cast he still looked masculine and ruggedly handsome. As handsome as he did on the day she him left him standing alone in the garden.

  “Is that you Sophie? Come here and relieve me of my boredom,” he ordered, “I’m desperate for someone to talk to.”

  Sophie tried to laugh light heartedly.

  “Might I remind you Jason, you didn’t say that to me this morning at breakfast. You more or less ordered me out of the room. You said you couldn’t stand my tittle-tattle and gossip. Now which is it to be? Do we stay or do we go?”

  “We? . . . Who have you brought with you?”

  Jason was suddenly alert and on the defensive.

  It was then when he turned to see who had entered the room, that Beth saw Jason’s face clearly.

  Sunlight was shining down through the Orangery windows onto his face, and from where she stood she could plainly see a dark jagged wound.

  A scar was running from Jason’s cheek bone to his jaw.

  It looked fresh. Raw and red.

  The perfection of his face was there no long and even though Jason had been disfigured by a vivid slash, he was still strikingly handsome.

  But it wasn’t the gash that held her attention and horrified her. The scars would heal and fade with time.

  What was frightening her was the stark white cane she could see standing beside his chair. And she couldn’t bring herself to think the obvious.

  She didn’t know if his blindness was permanent or temporary, and at that moment she didn’t really care.

  She could feel tears of despair and anguish welling in her eyes.

  The thought of the strong and dynamic Jason without his sight, for whatever length of time, was devastating.

  Beth’s thoughts were running wild inside her brain.

  She was imagining Jason blind and entombed in his darkened world.

  The idea of Jason not being able to see, of him being trapped in blackness, was unbearable.

  She couldn’t believe her eyes and she looked towards Sophie seeking answers.

  Sophie saw Beth’s unspoken questions and obvious anguish and nodded silently.

  Beth’s worst suspicions were confirmed.

  “Well,” Jason said impatiently, breaking the silence of the room. “Who is it?”

  Beth took a deep calming breath.

  “It’s me Jason . . . ,” she whispered.

  She didn’t have to say her name. He instantly recognised her voice.

  Jason lifted his hand instinctively covering his scarred cheek. It was as if he was trying to conceal from her the damage the accident had done to his face.

  Then he ran his long slender fingers frustrated through his jet black hair.

  “Ah . . . it’s my lovely tigress. The she cat . . . with claws and a temper to match. Have you come here today to feel sorry for me or have you come to gloat at my misfortune?”

  Sophie quickly gripped and pressed Beth’s hand reassuringly.

  “Beth, I’ll leave you and Jason to talk for a while . . . but I’ll warn you, it’s best if you ignore his sarcasm. The two of you probably have lots to discuss about the villa and the gardens. I suppose you’ll both want to be leaving pretty soon for Greece . . . to finish the project.”

  A sharp gasp of disbelief came from Beth as she heard what Sophie had said. But before Beth could protest or say she had no intention of going anywhere with Jason, Sophie had moved to the door and was gone.

  “That’s dropping the cat amongst the pigeons,” Beth thought.

  Slowly she walked towards the wicker chair in which Jason was sitting.

  She felt nervous and unprepared for the situation she found herself in.

  Knowing Jason was now blind, she didn’t know how she ought to be behaving towards him.

  There had never been anything weak or tragic about Jason before the plane crash. He’d always had strength of character and drive, and there was nothing to suggest he still didn’t have that same energy.

  Sat there with a white cane beside him, she could even now feel his power and vitality. He might have lost his ability to see, but he hadn’t lost his masculine attraction.

  “Do you mind if I join you?” she asked bravely, as she stood in front of him.

  He was silent for a while and kept her waiting for his reply.

  “I’m surprised you’re here,” he said sarcastically. “If my memory serves me correctly, the last time we were together you swore you’d never set eyes on me again. A very apt punishment don’t you think? Now it’s me who can’t see you.”

  Beth coloured with embarrassment as she remembered why she had said those words and what he’d done to her to make her say them.

  She was remembering their last encounter in the secret garden when he had savagely kissed her.

  In the garden he had brutally taken what he’d wanted.

  He had pulled her hard against his body, crushing her soft lips with his demanding mouth and forcing her tender lips open. Against her will he had made her respond to his caresses.

  She shuddered as she recalled her unwilling reaction to his touch.

  “Beth . . . I can see you’re blushing,” he told her scornfully with unseeing eyes.
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  It was a horrid thought, but at this moment she was thankful Jason couldn’t see her.

  She felt she would curl up and die of shame if he could actually see the mortification written on her face.

  “There’s no need to feel embarrassed,” he told her, “It’s was only natural for two people like us to have felt attraction for each other. And it was quiet natural for me to react the way I did, especially when you threw yourself at me.”

  The nerve of the man.