BLINDED BY DESIRE

by Arabella Sheen

  Gradually regaining consciousness she came around and she saw Jason standing looking down at her.

  There was deep concern in his eyes.

  “What are you doing here?” she mumbled and she tried to sit up.

  “You’re staying where you are. Are you alright?” he asked worriedly.

  Slowly she nodded her head, testing to see if the dizziness was still there.

  “I’m fine,” she said, and propped herself up on one elbow.

  “Good. I’ll make a cup of tea. You’re not to move. Understand?”

  She nodded and he went into the kitchen leaving the door open. He was still within hearing distance and he would hear her if she called out.

  He wasn’t long and he returned with the warm sweet tea he’d promised.

  Jason saw she hadn’t listened to him. Beth had moved and she was now sitting up-right.

  She looked worried, but the colour was slowly returning to her pale face.

  Passing her the mug of hot steamy liquid, he went over to the television and switched the set off.

  The room was suddenly silent.

  Only the crackling and roar of the fire could be heard.

  “You’ve made your self at home,” she told him.

  She didn’t know where to beginning.

  She’d left him Greece thinking she would never see him again. She had said all she’d needed to say to him and she didn’t know what more she could say.

  It had all been said.

  Jason took a seat in one of the big padded arm chairs and stretched out his legs as if he had all the time in the world.

  It was weird having him here in her home.

  “I’ve been here a while. I didn’t know how long I’d have to wait.”

  He didn’t say he would have waited forever.

  He looked at her and smiled.

  “How was your day?” he asked, as if was the most natural thing in the world for him to be concerned about. He wanted to know what she had done today.

  It was such a simple question and she couldn’t answer him.

  At least not at that moment.

  Quietly she began to sob and the tears she had wanted to cry all day were in her eyes. Then they were gently rolling unchecked down her cheeks.

  Jason didn’t move to comfort her. He wanted to. But he waited for Beth to start her story.

  “Trudy said you were in her bedroom.”

  “I was.”

  There was absolutely no expression on his face for her to read. He hadn’t denied he had been with Trudy.

  “You were?”

  “Yes . . . I went to collect her. I was flying her back to the mainland, but she wasn’t packed. She was still sleeping and I couldn’t wait for her. It was important I caught the chopper. I had to go.”

  He didn’t say it was to collect their marriage license and the rings.

  “When I got back to the White Island you were gone. I was told you decided you wanted to leave me.”

  His teeth were clamped hard together and she could see a pulse beating along his jaw line.

  “Stephen took me to the airport . . .”

  “I know. I left his body on the runway. Your plane had just taken off . . .”

  “You went to the airport?”

  “Yes.”

  Of course he did. How could he have made it to Devon before she had?

  What she didn’t know, was that Jason had gone straight from collecting the rings, to Athens airport and he had commandeered one of the company’s jets to fly him to England.

  In his billion-dollar corporation there was always a jet somewhere in the world on standby for his personal use.

  All it took was a call and everything was put in motion. Things got rolling and wheels got turning.

  “And you followed me here?”

  “Yes . . . I said I would find you and I have. I’m not losing you Beth. I’m not losing what’s mine.”

  If Jason thought she was his, what would he think once he found out about the baby?

  There would never be a good time to tell him but she would have to.

  “I could be pregnant,” she warned him and shut her eyes waiting for his onslaught of verbal abuse.

  It didn’t come.

  “I know,” was all he said.

  “You know?” she asked surprised.

  She hadn’t told anyone what she suspected.

  He loosened his tie, got up from the arm-chair and come to sit down beside her on the sofa.

  “Cassandra warned me. You’ll need me now Beth. You’ll need all the help you can get.”

  She had a budding career as a landscape designer, she didn’t need him and the baby didn’t need him. She’d make sure they didn’t starve.

  She had some money saved. They would survive without Jason’s wealth.

  “We don’t need your money Jason and I’ve got Paul and Clair here. They’ll help look after the baby. You’ve obviously met them because they had to have let you in. I’ve known Paul since university. They’re practically family and they’ll look after us if we need anything.”

  “It’s not about the money. They’re not the baby’s father. I am. It’s as simple as that.”

  “The baby and I will manage. We don’t need you.”

  She didn’t know how much those words hurt him.

  He knew Beth would survive without him, but he also knew he wouldn’t survive without her.

  “Would you deny our child the chance of a father?”

  There was no need to answer that question. She knew she couldn’t.

  “I know you’re the father but . . .”

  “Then you’ll have to marry me.”

  “No - No. You only want to marry me for the baby’s sake.”

  “Let’s get one thing straight . . . I’m not marrying you because of the baby. I didn’t know about the baby until today. I’m marrying you because I want you and because I need you?”

  Beth was stunned and it took a while for his words to sink in.

  She couldn’t believe he would want her for herself.

  Jason, the man who had everything and could get anything he wanted . . . wanted her.

  “Beth, you once told me you were out of my league. It’s the other way around. You’re too good for me. You stayed with me when I was blind. You took a chance on me. Now let me take a chance on you. We’re good together . . . and not just in bed, but out of bed. You’re mine Beth.”

  Jason reached into his trouser pocket and produced a small ring-box which he opened and held out to her.

  She was looking at the most perfect solitaire diamond ring she’d ever seen.

  But he still hadn’t told her he loved her and she was still waiting to hear him say the words.

  And they weren’t said.

  She had to be strong. She had to resist his offer. But she couldn’t.

  Beth conceded and Jason had won again.

  “Alright. The deal is . . . I’ll move back to Greece and I’ll live with you, but only for the baby’s sake.”

  Jason was happy with whatever she was prepared to offer him.

  “Alright. We’ll do it your way. If this is the only way I can get you and the baby home . . . fine.”

  “But I won’t marry you Jason . . .”

  “We’ll see.”

  * * * * *

  Jason had the luxury of being able to do what he wanted, when he wanted. Beth on the other hand had several things she needed to do before she could leave England with an easy mind.

  If she was going to return to White Villa and live with Jason on the island, she would have to find someone to manage the landscaping business and the garden centre.

  She had worked so hard to build it from scratch and she had employees and responsibilities to take care of.

  She couldn’t just down tools and do what she liked.

  Unlike Jason, she had no colleagues or associates to take up the slack and cover for her.

  Paul could cope with the garden centre but she
would have to employ a manager for the landscaping side of the business and she would have to oversee operations long distance from Greece.

  “You’ve got a week to get everything organised.” Jason had told her, “After that . . . we’re off. But whatever you decide . . . you won’t lose the farm Beth. We can always come back for long week-ends and holidays. And you won’t lose touch with Paul and Clair. I know you’re giving up a lot for me but it will be worth it . . . I promise.”

  He trusted Beth, but he wasn’t letting her out of his sight again. She had run from him once and he wasn’t taking the chance she would run from him again.

  Jason didn’t doubt she was physically attracted to him. She had proved she was every night they had been together. She desired him but he was worried she didn’t want to tie herself to him emotionally.

  When he had designed and built White Island Villa, he had thought the house - his home - would be enough to sustain him and keep him safe from the pressures of his billion dollar empire.

  But he had been wrong.

  Without Beth paradise meant nothing.

  * * * * *

  Jason had been away from the island for two weeks on business.

  He crept silently into their bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed with his arms on either side of Beth, trapping her beneath the covers.

  She was asleep and looking closely at her he could see dark circles of worry beneath her eyes. He could tell she hadn’t been sleeping.

  The weight of him on the bed must have disturbed her.

  Slowly she began wakening out of a deep sleep and she moved, wriggling beneath the covers and stretching her out her arms towards him.

  She wrapped them around his neck, pulling him down towards her for a warm welcoming kiss.

  “What time is it?” she asked him with a sleepy smile and a yawn.

  He looked at the bedside clock beside the bed.

  “Gone three.”

  “But you were supposed to be back hours ago. What kept you?”

  “Nothing important and nothing to worry about. I’m here now.”

  “Get off me Jason. Let me go,” she said, and the sleepiness in her voice had now completely vanished.

  She was struggled to sit up beneath the weight of him.

  “I thought you were going wait up for me . . . my love.”

  “I’m not your love Jason Andre . . . not at three o’clock in the morning.”

  “And you sound like a nagging wife.”

  “I’m not nagging you,” she said.

  “And you’re not my wife,” he reminded her.

  “Not yet - but we can soon rectify that,” she warned him.

  Jason froze.

  He wondered if he’d heard correctly.

  Beth had always sworn she would never marry him.

  She was taking a leap of faith and trusting him.

  She snuggled into his arms warm and safe where she wanted to be.

  Whilst he had been away on business she’d time to think and she had come to realise that even if Jason didn’t love her, she had enough love for Jason and his baby.

  “I’ll have to come home at three o’clock in the morning more often if it gets me what I want . . . I need you Beth.”

  “And you can have me,” she sighed with her lips pressed firmly against his as she pulled his shirt from his waist band.

  He tossed the offending shirt carelessly onto the floor along with the rest of his clothes before climbing into their bed and pulling her urgently towards him.

  He needed the feel of her body against his, as much as she needed him to touch her.

  Beth opened her warm body to him and he took all she was giving.

  He came deep inside her calling out her name over and over.

  He didn’t need to say the words I love you.

  In that moment she was convinced of his love as nothing else could have convinced her.

  In the afterglow of their love making she nestled in arms that were holding her so tightly against him she could hardly breathe.

  His lips planted soft light kisses across her eye lids. It was as if by doing so, he wanted to make her see his love for her.

  She caught her breath in her throat as she felt something move and stir within.

  Inside her a part of Jason was growing day by day.

  “It’s me that’s been blind Jason,” she confessed, “I was the one that couldn’t see. I didn’t see your love for me.”

  “It’s been there all the time . . . it’s always been there,” he murmured.

  Softly he caressed the curving bulge of her belly.

  His caresses were beginning to arouse her yet again and she ran her hands down the length of his body until she found what she was seeking.

  He was ready for her.

  And slowly she pressed herself against him until he entered and she was filled. They were mould together as one. This time it was Beth who showed her love to him and slowly she gave and gave until they both were sated and satisfied.