Bears of Burden: STERLING

by Candace Ayers

  "Ma'am? Did you just call me ma'am?"

  Mia sighed, realizing her error. "I'll just get the manager for you."

  She signaled Mr. Rayner, who came over and took the woman aside, apologizing for something Mia never did. At least her third hour on register was over. Lara brought a new drawer to replace Mia's, who gratefully left her post in search of fresh air. Mia tried to sneak past Mr. Rayner for her last break of the night, but he caught her opening the back door to the alley with the bench.

  "Mia, a minute please?"

  Mia paused. She was so close to the fresh air—well, alley fresh air, but at least there were no fluorescent lights—but she turned into Mr. Rayner's office instead. He sat on top of his desk, leaning against the edge. He pushed out a chair for her with his foot and she took it.

  "Mia, why do you insist on making things difficult for yourself? I can help you if you'd just be a little nicer to me." He reached out an arm and tried to grope Mia's shoulder. She jumped out of her chair and took two steps back. This was an old game.

  "I have a boyfriend," she lied.

  "No you don't," he laughed, as if the thought was too ridiculous to entertain. "Come here why don't you?" He opened his arms and Mia considered relenting. She was so tired of working double shifts and standing at register for three hours at a time. But then Mr. Rayner licked his lips and Mia's stomach churned. Things were bad, but they weren't that bad.

  "I'm going on break," she said.

  "Fine," Mr. Rayner said, straightening up. "But that old bat complained about you. I have to make a record of it. That makes three complaints this month Mia. One more and you're facing suspension."

  Mia bit her lip. She only had an hour left. "Can I go now?" He nodded like he was doing her a favor and she scurried away while she still could.

  Mia was almost out the alley door when Jake ran up to her.

  "Hey, Mia." He was out of breath. "Glad I caught you. Listen, there's a hot party on for tonight. Can you cover me?"

  "Doesn't your shift start in like an hour?"

  He lifted his shoulders. "So?"

  Mia wanted to slam his head against the wall. Jake knew she'd never turn down an extra shift. She and Emma needed the money too badly. But she was so tired. She pictured the pink princess dress Emma had gone crazy for at Smart Mart the other day. Who would have thought that fake satin was so expensive?

  "Fine," she said.

  "Thanks," he said, grinning. "That's awesome."

  She watched Jake run off and a pang of jealousy hit her heart. He was only a year younger than her, yet his life was so different. She was twenty-one. She should be going to parties instead of... but that was a horrible thing to think. Emma was the one good thing about her life.

  She stepped outside and sucked in the cool night air. Late August was always a peaceful time for the weather in Wisconsin. Football would be starting soon, and she was sure to see Logan splashed across the screen even more as the weeks went on. She never could get away from him completely. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she looked with shock at the number. It was from Rachel. She hadn't talked to Rachel in three years. Not since Logan was drafted and they both moved to San Francisco.

  Mia, I'm getting married this weekend. I need help. I can't make it in Oakville by myself. Please come. I've missed you.

  Mia turned off her phone and drew in several deep breaths. Why would Rachel be getting married in Oakville? She'd heard people in town talking about the wedding. Her fiancé was some big shot Hollywood actor. Shouldn't they get married there, in L.A.? She went back inside. Her ten minutes were up.

  Work lasted forever. Mia walked through the door of her tiny apartment to find Emma asleep in Tera's arms. It wasn't quite dawn. Mia shook the babysitter gently and paid her double what she'd promised. The money was almost too precious to part with, but it was worth it to keep Tera coming back. She's the only one who would come down to Harvest Road with any regularity. Everyone else deemed the area too poor to set foot in.

  Mia moved Emma back into her bed, kissed her forehead and returned to the living room. Their couch was starting to fall apart and Mia made a mental note to keep an eye out at the Goodwill. Logan's face flashed across the screen when Mia turned the TV on. She knew she should go to bed. She had to be back at work in a few hours, but Logan's face smiled at her and she couldn't turn away. She remembered the last time she'd seen him... the night they'd finally made love. It had only been three years ago, yet it felt like decades. Even now, his face was smooth and tan and he stared at her from the TV screen with wild blue eyes and a smile too charming for his own good. In these moments, she missed him even more than she would have believed possible.

  Chapter 2

  Logan stood for the cameras with his back straight and a smile on his face. His sand colored hair swept back over his head, and the girl on his arm—Crap! What was her name again?—kissed his cheek as the lights kept flashing.

  "Hey Logan! Over here!" shouted a reporter. The blonde on his arm threw her body over his, like she was a blanket, or maybe a snake. She coiled one leg around him and pulling him close with both her arms. His face smacked against hers hard; it felt like he'd just been tackled. She ran her tongue over his lips, and he continued to smile for the cameras as if he was enjoying it all. In truth, he wanted to run away from this woman and the cameras and just go sit in a library or a coffee shop somewhere and be alone.

  He was twenty-six and already tired of the girls and the fame. It was great being the best quarterback in football, but all he really wanted now was to play the game. He didn't care about the other stuff, like the money or the girls or even the trophies. Okay, maybe he still cared a little about the trophies, after all, he wasn't crazy. But the girls were a dime a dozen. He flashed back to college. Just before he'd gotten drafted to San Francisco, he and Mia had shared a magical night together and a promise that she'd ultimately broken. He couldn't stop his heart from fluttering when he pictured her face of cream and her golden hair falling around her shoulders like a string of halos.

  The blonde pinched his ass and the reporters all laughed. She was posing for them like they cared about her. Like she was an actress or a model instead of a groupie. Was he sure she wasn't? It looked at her again and tried to remember where he'd met her. A bar. It was always a bar. The flashes continued, blinding him for a full minute before he blinked enough to regain his sight. Vultures. All of them. It occurred to Logan that maybe the blonde was a vulture too, and he eyed her suspiciously as she swiveled her hips.

  He wondered what Mia was doing now. If she was happy. He hated the idea of going back to Oakville for Rachel's wedding, but if he had to, maybe he could at least look her up. He was sure she'd be gone. Harvard law was a far cry from Oakville, Wisconsin, why would she have returned? But still... her parents were probably still there. Maybe he could find them at least. Get an address.

  Why torture yourself?

  He had left Oakville, but it had been Mia who'd left him. He should just leave well enough alone.

  The cameras flashed again, too close to his face this time, and his eyes started to tear up. What were the taking pictures for anyways? They acted like he was doing something really juicy—like robbing a bank or breaking a world record. The season hadn't even started yet. He was just walking into a restaurant with a girl he barely knew. What was so interesting about that? Would they still want pictures if it was he and Mia walking into the restaurant, or did the blonde hold some strange charm he couldn't see?

  The flashes must be getting to his head. Why was he still thinking about Mia right now? It had been three years. He couldn't still be pining for her. He shook his head and opened the door to the restaurant. The blonde—Vicki! Her name was Vicki!—put her hand on his back as she ushered him inside, swinging her head back for one last look at the photographers. Her lips were too red, he decided. He longed for the soft pink petals that had belonged to Mia.

  What's wrong with me? Stop it now. There's no point in thinking about
her.

  It was definitely Rachel's wedding that was doing this to him. And the idea of going back to Oakville after all this time. At least he'd be going back rich. His parents had insisted on staying there, but then he'd insisted on buying them the nicest house in town, far away from the gutter they used to live in when he was growing up. Hell, maybe the town would even throw him a parade.

  After dinner, Logan dropped Vicki at her apartment. Two other girls, pretty in an overdone, trampy sort of way, tried to help draw him inside. There was a time, right after Mia had dumped him, that he would gladly have accepted their invitation. Now he fought them off and headed back to his empty mansion. It was filled with priceless artwork his manager had insisted he buy because it was somehow good for his image. Except of course, there was no one but him to enjoy it or even look at it. Rachel and her fiancé Erik were hardly ever over here. She was too busy modeling, and he was too busy being absorbed by Hollywood. Rachel had told him she was keeping her house in San Francisco but moving down to Hollywood after the wedding. He wasn't sure what the point of it was. Why keep two houses when they're both going to be empty?

  Disgusted with the strange and irritating melancholy he'd stirred within himself, he grabbed a suitcase from his closet and started to pack for Rachel's wedding. At least Rachel would be stuck in Oakville with him. There, he wouldn't be alone.

  Chapter 3

  Mia looked in the mirror for the third time, unable to believe she was doing this. Her natural blonde highlights were pulled up high on her head, piled into a sort of upside down ponytail that left soft golden waves falling around her face. Her dress was what she liked to call "new old," meaning it was new to her. She'd run to Goodwill after her morning shift and found it stacked in with the pinks and purples. It had spaghettis straps and soft pink cotton with magenta flowers printed all over. It looked very summery and she smiled, thinking that despite the slight yellow stains under the arms, and the tiny rip near the bottom hem, she looked pretty good. And it was only five dollars. Rachel would probably not even notice the small imperfections.

  "You look pretty Mommy," Emma said from behind her. Mia turned and smiled. Sometimes Emma said something that made the last three years all worthwhile.

  "I'm sorry I'm going out sweetie," she said, really meaning it. She hardly ever got any time with Emma these days. Work was constantly nagging at her. "I'm off tonight though, so I'll be home after dinner and we'll play dress up."

  Emma's face lit up. "Princess?" she asked. Mia's smile faltered. "I haven't gotten the princess dress yet sweetie," Emma's face fell. "But soon, okay? It's still there, it's just waiting for Mommy to get paid next week." Fifty dollars was more than she'd paid for food this week. It would be worth it though to see Emma get something she wanted for once, instead of being told they couldn't afford it.

  Mia kissed Emma goodbye and walked to the restaurant, looking for Rachel. Maybe I'm early. Better yet, maybe I'm late and they're already gone. Then she heard a voice peal through the air.

  "Miaaaa! Aaahhh!" A woman with ultra-blonde curls and a skin tight dress ran up to her in six inch stilettos. "I can't believe it's you! It's been so long."

  Mia shrank back slightly from this woman who only barely resembled the Rachel she'd grown up with. This Rachel was rich. She had clearly traveled the world. Mia had never left Oakville. "It's, er, nice to see you Rachel."

  Rachel pulled her into a hug and Mia thought she could smell California on her. "Mia, this is my fiancé, Erik." Rachel shoved Erik towards her. Mia recognized him from some of his movies, but decided not to mention that or the two Razzies he'd won last year.

  "Hi Erik," Mia said, extending her hand. "Nice to meet you.

  He was tall and tan and wearing sunglasses that drooped far down his nose. He gave Mia a once over then pushed his glasses back up. "It's almost fall. Should you still be wearing a summer dress?" he asked.

  Mia's cheeks burned crimson, from anger as much as from embarrassment. Rachel laughed off his comment and shuffled Mia into a chair. Erik started playing with his cell phone.

  "So tell me," Rachel said. "How are you? Where do you practice now? Do you have your own law firm?" She turned to Erik, who wasn't listening, and said, "Mia got a full scholarship to Harvard you know. She wanted to be a lawyer so she could change the world." She turned back to Mia, beaming at her, proud of accomplishments Mia had never achieved.

  "Er... I'm fine," Mia mumbled. "All good."

  Rachel's expression clouded. "All good?" Her eyes began searching Mia's face. They stopped at the stains on Mia's dress, the ones she'd missed in her initial excitement, and the bags under Mia's eyes. "It looks like you haven't slept in a while," she said.

  "Oh well, yeah," Mia coughed and grabbed for some water. "You know how it is."

  Rachel was watching her with a strange expression that made Mia uncomfortable. "How come you didn't stay in touch?" she asked, hurt showing on her face.

  "Oh." Mia wished she hadn't come. She should've stayed home with Emma. "I just... you know."

  "No," Rachel said. "I don't know."

  Mia started to feel heat rise in her chest. She had to get out of here before she said something stupid. "Look, I have to work later, so I should probably—"

  "Work?" Mia squealed. Erik looked up from his phone, then immediately decided his phone was more interesting and looked back down. "Where's your office? You don't work here in Oakville, do you?"

  Mia kicked herself for not being more careful. "Er, well, temporarily. You know."

  Rachel stared at her with wide eyes. Finally, after an eternity, Rachel slid a gold embossed wedding invitation across the table. It had ultra-fancy lettering that looked impossible to read, and something that looked like a small diamond glued to the center of the invitation, between Rachel and Erik's names. Rachel saw Mia looking with wonder at the invitation. "It's real," she said happily. "The diamond, that is. Just wanted something a little different."

  Mia sat in shocked silence. A real diamond? This single wedding invitation probably cost more than she made in a month. Rachel saw her staring and finally caught on. "It's just a diamond sliver. Hardly worth anything. More for show." There was a long silence as they listened to the bleeps on Erik's phone as he played some sort of game, completely oblivious to his surroundings. "You don't have to be in the wedding, but I really wish you'd be there. At least come to rehearsal dinner." Rachel's request sincere and should have been simple for Mia to consent to, but it was just the opposite.

  "I should go," Mia said. She hadn't ordered anything to eat or drink except water. She hadn't even been there long enough to place an order, but it was still too long. She told Rachel she'd see what she could do, then ran from the restaurant before Rachel could ask any more questions.

  Chapter 4

  Logan arrived at his house in a limo sent by the city to meet him at the airport. There wasn't a parade exactly, but it was close enough. A line of people he didn't know streamed into his parents' house, waving at him as the limo parked in the curved driveway. He got out and a cheer went up. He waved back to everyone and saw his parents standing near the garage, smiling. He gave them each a hug then followed them inside.

  The house was the same as when he'd bought it for them. Dark mahogany cabinets and floors ran throughout, creating the effect of living in a museum. Except that his mom had personalized the museum with a dozen cat figurines and roomfuls of football memorabilia, mostly from Logan's school days before he was drafted. They'd saved every photo, every newspaper clipping, every game ball Logan had ever earned.

  It was nice seeing his parents, but it was strange seeing so many faces he didn't recognize. He poked his head out the window for another look and someone pulled at his hair, trying to get a souvenir. Out of the crowd who cooed and pawed at him, he saw his sister. "Rachel," he called. She waved and ran towards him. A few heads turned towards her, after all, she wasn't exactly a nobody. Her face graced the cover of countless magazines and billboards these days.

/>   He still didn't understand her desire to get married back in Oakville. They could have easily flown their parents out to San Francisco or Los Angeles for the wedding. He supposed Rachel wanted to show off a little. Wanted her old friends and neighbors to see how well she'd done for herself. He didn't really blame her. It might be wrong of him, but he'd sorta liked seeing the jealous looks on men's faces when he'd shown up in a limo, and despite his weariness of nameless women, he appreciated the way all his hometown girls swooned at his arrival.

  Rachel grabbed his arm and steered him into the backyard.

  "See all the lights?" she asked. "We're gonna have those Chinese lanterns hanging everywhere in different colors."

  "Like a disco?" he teased. She pinched his arm but didn't let him break her stride. The backyard was huge and she started walking him through it, giving him details he didn't really care about, but was contented listening to if it made her happy.

  "And then I've had a stage built for the band. And the waiters are all going to be wearing imported Gloriosas in their lapels." She snuck a glance to see if he was appropriately impressed with her flower selection, but he had already started to tune her out. Expensive flowers weren't exactly front and foremost on the minds of football players.

  "I don't suppose Mia is going to be here?" he asked.

  Rachel shrugged her shoulders and sighed. "Who knows. I met up with her the other day but something wasn't right with her."

  "What do you mean?" He'd never told Rachel about his relationship with Mia. It had been something private only the two of them had shared. That was one of the reasons he still treasured Mia's memory. He didn't have many private moments these days.

  "Oh I don't know," Rachel said, surveying the yard. "Her dress... she just... I don't know," she shrugged again, exasperated. "She just doesn't look like a lawyer."

  Logan felt his brow furrow and was glad there were no reporters in the yard to capture the moment. "Maybe she's not. I mean, law school can take a while. And it's hard, right? Maybe she's taking a break."