“Leave, what? What are you doing? I’ve just spent the past five minutes covering for you with your girl.”
“Covering for me? Did I asked you to do that? You think I somehow planned what happened back there?” I challenged, throwing my index finger toward the house, and making a few of the guests closest to us stop talking.
“I took a piss and Tricia hijacked me, if I’d fucked her we’d still be in there.”
“It would appear you have a habit of being hijacked by women,” Sawyer growled quietly.
“Are you fucking with me?” My voice was loud that time and there was no mistake we were engaged in an argument. Rage shot through my veins because my previous suspicion had been confirmed, and it was a low blow after all the work it had taken for us to find our feet as brothers.
Sawyer stood and shifted from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable with me biting back. It had been a long time since we’d gone head-to-head about anything.
“Since you still have an obvious mistrust of me, I’ll tell you what happened. I’d say she hit on me, but she didn’t … well, not exactly. Tricia sought me out in the bathroom, and if I’d been a willing participant, sure, she’d have let me fuck her. When I turned her down, she tried to mindfuck me instead. I didn’t bite and told her to go fuck herself, but not in so many words because I’m a gentleman—happy now?” I glanced toward the house but there was no sign of my girl nor Hammer. “We’re leaving as soon as the Uber arrives, but let me tell you, Sawyer, with that mistrustful remark you just made, this conversation is far from done.”
My cell vibrated in my jeans back pocket and I broke the pointed stare that had grown between us to look at it. “Car’s here,” I said without looking up at him, and without saying goodbye, I headed toward the house. Thankfully, he never followed me because the way he’d made me feel, and the hormonal surges I’d had from my frustrations, had left me all but spoiling for the kind of physical contact I excelled at.
Billie and Juliette were chatting in the kitchen when I reached it. “Uber’s here, sweetheart,” I told my girl, grabbing her hand. I kissed her temple and turned to look at my brother’s wife. I forced a smile. “See you in the morning, Billie,” I told her, too pissed off to endure another round of sentimental goodbyes. Besides, I was sure both she and my brother would have a long conversation about the day’s events once they’d turned in for the night.
We walked the short distance down Hammer’s driveway to the Uber waiting by the sidewalk in silence, and once Juliette had been situated in the back seat of the ride, I ran around the trunk and climbed in beside her. After a brief exchange with the driver to confirm our destination, Juliette slid her hand into mine and squeezed.
“Right, out with it. What the fuck is the deal with that woman, Tricia?”
“Tricia?” I asked, sounding more alarmed than surprised by her blunt question that gave me no time to think.
“Don’t tell me she’s nothing, James. The looks that passed between you all day have been eating me up inside.
“There’s nothing between us.”
“I don’t believe that for a second. It may not be something current, but there was plenty going on for you both back there in that yard. The way your eyes pierced hers when you spoke with her… I saw that angst-filled look that past between you. One minute you were wandering across to those drinks coolers, like you didn’t have a care in the world, and from moment you saw her, you had no idea what do to with yourself. The self-assured man I know was nowhere in sight, replaced by a man on edge, reacting anxiously one minute and mesmerized at being there with her the next.”
Regret squeezed my heart and I shrugged, unsure how to respond to her because I had felt all of those things, so instead I slid my palm around in our hands and laced her fingers in mine. I drew in a deep breath, held it a second or two, and then I sighed. It sounded like defeat.
“I’m sorry, it’s stupid,” I started, my eyes searching her troubled, hurt brown ones staring back at me. “Tricia was Billie’s maid of honor at their wedding and I was one of Sawyer’s groomsmen. We were kind of thrown together, and I guess we got caught up in the occasion.”
“You hooked up?” Juliette asked and I pressed my lips into a line and shrugged. Her gaze dropped to our hands and her small fingers tensed. “That’s not it… not all of it … especially from the way you both reacted to seeing the other today.”
Shock tightened my chest. What did she see? My physical reaction to seeing Trisha wasn’t one I welcomed, but Juliette’s challenge told me my attempt to disguise how I’d felt had been fruitless.
The hurt etched on Juliette’s face filled me with shame. She was right, no matter how I’d wished I had felt; my true feelings about Tricia had shone through. But as we’d sat holding hands, I knew I didn’t want to face how desperately attracted to Tricia I still was, when Juliette felt precious to me.
“Being with Tricia was no more than a lapse in judgment. She wasn’t good for me, and once I’d figured that out, I chose not to contact her again.” My eyes searched her face, willing her to believe me. “We were never serious, sweetheart.”
“I’d like to believe that, James, but am I supposed to ignore all to those sneaky glances you stole toward her, or the more blatant scrutiny we came under from her?” Sucking in a deep breath, Juliette exhaled slowly and composed herself before she spoke again. “So, tell me what the fuck I was in the middle of today.”
“She didn’t mean anything to me,” I pleaded, still trying to convince myself of that. “I just wasn’t prepared to see her there, that’s all. I’ll admit seeing her shocked me, but all I needed was time to catch my breath.”
Before Juliette could reply, the car drew up alongside my brother’s apartment building. Juliette roughly pulled her hand out from mine, opened the door, and was out on the sidewalk before I could think. Seconds later, I climbed out and strode toward her as she headed inside the building.
I signaled briefly to the front desk security detail that she was with me and continued following her. Even though I had never taken her to Sawyer’s building before, she was clearly incensed and marched blindly into an elevator car, which arrived at the precise moment she’d gotten there. Turning to look at me, I was met with the wrath of her angry expression, shoulders bunched by her ears as she tried to contain her fury in a public place.
“You need to come out of there, sweetheart. This is the one that goes to my brother’s floor,” I said, gesturing toward the last one at the end of the bank of elevators. For a moment I thought she was going to let the door close on her anyway and stood back so as not to antagonize her further. I felt safe in the knowledge I wouldn’t have lost her at that point anyway, as she had no key card to insert for the car to move.
The wounded look on Juliette’s face slayed me, as she rolled her lips in a line and stepped back out of the car. “You needed to catch your breath? You mean she made you breathless,” she hissed quietly, so the guys in the lobby couldn’t her. “If we weren’t so far from the city, I’d have left you there and gone home,” she mumbled in a quiet, distressed tone.
Staring intensely, I absorbed her comment before I stretched out my upturned palms. “Please, sweetheart. Don’t do this to us. I love you. I’m so sorry I hurt you today. Tricia’s the last person we should be arguing over, she’s nothing to me,” I said, stepping into the elevator car, I wrapped my arms around her.
Initially Juliette’s body was stiff and unyielding, but a few moments later something gave within her and she allowed me to hold her. We stood there for a few moments until the tightness in my chest eased, and then she let me guide her toward the elevator that led to the penthouse apartment.
Once inside, I continued holding her firmly to my chest and slid in the spare key card Sawyer had given me into the slot. My brother’s family only used it on weekdays during school semesters as my stepnephew, Colby attended a local school nearby.
Releasing her from my arms, I opened the door and signaled my gir
l inside, and as I closed it, she spun around to look at me. Fury darkened her pretty brown eyes and rightly so, because I deserved her calling me out.
“Take a good look at me, James. Do I look like a fool?”
“Jules…”
Pacing the floor in front of me as she gathered her thoughts made me feel crestfallen. “Tell me… I want to know everything about your history with that woman, and don’t think for a minute you can pretend what went on today was nothing. Do you know how humiliated I felt?”
“Trust me,” I started, and immediately wondered why the fuck she should after how I’d felt about Tricia.
“Trust you?” she scoffed in a high-pitched tone. “I thought I did before we went to Hammer’s place today. Now? If I’m honest, I don’t. You almost melted when you laid eyes on her, and from how she watched your every move since then, I knew it was only a matter of time before she’d try to get you alone.”
“Then you knew more than I did,” I answered, honestly. “I can’t stop someone from looking at me.”
“She watched your every move. Oh, and the way your brother and his friend stepped in as your wingmen to keep me busy while you both headed inside, felt very degrading.”
“Whoa. I only left to take a leak. How was I to know she’d come after me?”
“I want to know exactly what that woman is to you and don’t leave anything out.”
Rage gripped me. I stood rubbing the back of my neck as I tried to control how angry I was that Tricia’s appearance had disturbed the pleasant balance which had existed in our relationship.
“Sweetheart, I’m so fucking sorry you felt like that. If you thought my brother and Hammer were covering for me, you were wrong. If they thought they were, then that was also on them.
“Stop stalling and tell me about her.”
A frustrated huff of breath left my chest. No matter what I said, Juliette had already made her mind up. If it was honesty she was after, she left me with no choice but to be frank.
“Look, I had no idea Hammer had invited Tricia. Why should I? We’ve had nothing to do with one another for years, and no, before you get the idea she was an old girlfriend, she wasn’t.”
“But you slept with her.” It wasn’t a question and I’d already admitted as much.
I sighed, my heart aching inside as I glanced around the sitting room, like a resolution to our argument may be there, before looking back at her. I knew she was hurt, but what man in his mid-forties didn’t have history with women?
“Jules, I don’t want to hurt—”
“Just fucking tell me,” she yelled, her face red, her eyes brimming with tears. My plea became stuck in my throat as frustration and fury roared through my veins.
“Yes! Yes, I fucked her… I told you this already. Happy now? Three times in total, if you need a number. Was it good? Mind-blowing, actually…” I shrugged, horrified by what I blurted out, and my eyes softened toward her, but I’d started and the pressure in my head made me purge the rest of my thoughts. “Was she better than you?” Her eyes flared in anger— hurt—objection, and I knew I’d hit another ace in her thoughts. “It was different… just sex, sweetheart,” I confirmed quietly, but not in so many words. “I never made love to her.” By the time I had spewed out the words, my chest heaved in and out in protest that I hadn’t taken a breath.
The instant I stopped talking, I heard the sound of blood as it rushed through my ears. In a rare drink-fueled moment, I had allowed my frustration to build with every word until my loose tongue had spouted harsh words I knew I could never take back.
Heaving another sigh, I stared into her wounded eyes and shrugged. “Why did I say all of that? Because I know you, sweetheart, and those were your next questions, right?” Inhaling deeply, I stopped talking. I’d said far too much and stood breathlessly staring down at her as she looked decimated in front of me.
Folding her leg under her ass, she slumped down onto the couch closest and covered her face with her hands. It only took one heartbeat to see how wounded she felt and my anger drained instantly, replaced by a wave of regret.
A dull ache formed, like a bruise in my chest when I thought she was crying until she shifted position, drew her legs from beneath her and hugged them, pulling her hands from her face. Eyeing me contemptuously, she scowled. When I made to move closer to comfort her, she flashed me a palm, halting my advance and frowned.
“Stay there. I don’t want you to touch me—”
“Jules, please—”
“No. If you respect me at all you’ll do as I ask. Please show me where I’m to sleep tonight, but it won’t be with you. Right now, I need time on my own to understand how I feel. One thing I do know is I don’t want you near me.”
“Fuck … please, sweetheart, don’t push me away,” I begged, taking another step forward. Immediately her hands flew up again.
“Stop it. You’ve had a lot to drink and I’m neither sober nor rational at this moment. Those are the only reasons I haven’t kneed you in the balls and left you to fend for yourself, after I saw her go after you. Am I sleeping here alone or calling a cab to take me back to the city?”
For a moment I considered pleading again, but when I saw her chin quiver and heard how she’d responded, I saw how furious she felt and her reaction was no more than I deserved. She needed space to think and that was the least I could do.
Considering she’d backed me into a corner, I had no choice but to concede to her demands and step back. Nodding I accepted her rejection temporarily as punishment for how I’d reacted to Tricia.
“I’ll show you to the bedroom, but please promise me we’ll talk this through.”
“No promises, James. Broken promises are the worst kind. I’ll see how I feel tomorrow.”
Leading her down the hallway, I opened the guest room door I had always used, and she stepped in past me, and within seconds I found myself staring at the closed door from the hallway with Juliette locked inside.
For a few minutes I stood outside deliberating whether to press the point with her, and to try to make her understand, but I didn’t know how to do that when I couldn’t understand what had happened that day myself.
Chapter Seven
Me: Hope you’re satisfied with yourself.
On impulse I scrolled through my contacts for the old number I’d saved for Tricia before the wedding. After I’d tapped out a text, I pressed the send button. I was surprised when it went it through and livid that I had broken my resolution not to contact her again.
Tricia: You’re thinking of me… I was thinking of you. Perhaps we need to talk? Fuck.
My heart had somersaulted the moment she’d answered, even though I felt pissed with myself for texting her in the first place. What the fuck are you doing?
Switching my cell off, I threw it on the coffee table and sat in Sawyer’s La-Z-Boy chair. Lifting my weary legs, I settled back in the chair and stuck my hands in my jacket pockets. When I closed my eyes, my head should have been full of ideas to make Juliette forgive me, but instead I’d poured gas on the flames by texting Tricia.
For months I had convinced myself I’d misread Tricia; that I’d read more into the way she looked at me than I should have, and had somehow become fixated because she had rejected me. I argued with myself until nothing else mattered because all she had wanted me for was my body.
A memory came back on rewind about the way our eyes had locked and how seeing me had affected her breathing, but my most vivid recollection from the day was of how her eyes had been full of burning desire. One thought sparked another, and I remembered reading signs of regret, but regret for what? Our encounter had been abruptly ended before I’d been able to process what I’d seen and what all of it meant.
I shook the thought from my mind and tried to ignore another sharp pulse of electricity that coursed through me because no matter how unwelcome my feelings were, I couldn’t forget them. Fuck.
A distant noise dragged me from a deep sleep, and when I stirr
ed a searing pain shot through my neck. It radiated down my spine to my ass when I tried to move. An instant wave of nausea jolted me fully alert and I realized my whole body felt stiff and ached because I’d fallen asleep on the chair.
Hearing a spoon clanking against pottery from behind the kitchen counter drew my bleary eyes over to it. Juliette stood, freshly showered, fully dressed, with wet hair and puffy eyes. My heart crushed in my chest with the hurt look she gave me as she lifted a mug to her lips.
Wincing, I sluggishly slid forward and pulled myself upright in slow motion, and was instantly crippled by the memory of the barrage of words I’d unleashed in frustration toward her the night before.
My chest was steeped in deep regret as I awkwardly pushed the leg rest in from Sawyer’s chair and placed my feet on the floor. The weary bones in my neck cracked as I moved my head from one side to the other, and when I stood, another huge wave of nausea rolled my stomach. A pounding frontal lobe headache reminded me I had drunk far too much, and the last thing I’d needed to compound my desperate situation was a raging hangover and an argument.
The second Juliette lowered her drink it only took one look at her pinched lips, set jaw, and her narrowed suspicious eyes scrutinizing me to know, how I felt right at that moment was nothing in comparison to how I would feel after Juliette was done with me.
“Do you want to go out for some breakfast?” I asked, trying to placate her mood and give myself a chance to think what I could say that would redeem me in her eyes. My croaky voice from sleep made me sound flat—disinterested even—which was far from the truth.
“No. Thank you, I’m going to skip breakfast,” she replied, sounding clipped but composed as she checked her wristwatch, then glanced toward me again. “I’ve hired a car and driver, it’s due in about fifteen minutes. I’m going back to the city.”
“You don’t even want to talk about this?” I asked, before something else struck me. “You were just going to leave me asleep? Jules, don’t you think we should at least sit down and catch our breath—work through this? Last night, I said—”
Resist You (Unchained Attraction Book 3) Page 7