Post-Apocalypse Dead Letter Office

by Nathan Poell

  Had fifty people turn out for Billy’s funeral, despite the heat and dust storms. So I heard, I couldn’t even make it out the front door. The sheriff and deputies still haven’t found Carl, but we can only assume the worst at this point.

  I’m not sure it’ll help – hasn’t for the past year, anyhow – but please please pray for us down here, Richie. Pray to God for rain for us. And please pray for your departed brother and Godson.

  With love,

  Regina, Carlene and Sera

  To: Dr. Martin Braun, Leavenworth, KS

  From: Baird Showalter, Washington, DC

  March 21, 20+1

  Martin-

  Hello from DC. It seems like I was e-mailing you just yesterday. A year passes so quickly in this town. Hope you’re not feeling frozen out by my lack of correspondence with you, but you understand. There have been some technical difficulties, as you likely well know. And, it was never my intent to exile you to such a bleak place as Kansas, and to teach officers at that, but I was overruled by higher. There are simply so many unforeseen exigencies, so many fires – metaphorical and unfortunately, literal, now – to be extinguished day to day with such precious little water (and less by the day), that personal communications with anyone are few and far between. “Baird, what’s the latest on New York?” “Baird, who threw that brick through the window?” Ad infinitum. I’ve really lost focus on the big picture here, and am taking a day or two off to collect myself. This comes at no small price here, as I’m sure you well remember.

  So, the big picture – what I really should be seeing to appropriately and effectively advise those in the administration. Those still left, I should say. I’m writing to you today about that, but in a rather semi-professional capacity. All the same, quite a bit of this information could be considered... well, unsuitable for viewing by the general populace. So, I would prefer you to treat the content of this letter with your pre-exile discretion. I am hoping to clear the cobwebs with you so I can draft up something official for a meeting later this week. So, consider yourself my literate guinea pig. There will be no way to get a return from you in such a time frame as to be useful for this meeting, but please please do send a reply. Ultimately, you don’t have a need to know – especially considering the fallout from the scandal the other year – but your clearance is high enough and your analysis and recommendations will be much appreciated by me and many others and almost certainly used in future meetings. (It may also get you out of the sticks.)

  Here is the executive summary, with input from the entire staff.

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  Have to run this over to the infosec boys. They’ll check it and get it to one of those messengers directly. I know, I know, but they need to feel useful, too (hi boys).

  Best wishes.

  Baird Showalter

  Assistant Director, REDACTED REDACTED

  P.S. - Oh, and I almost forgot the biggest part of the big picture. The cherry blossoms are in bloom again. I guess that’s something.