Lost in Mist and Shadow: A Between the Worlds Novel

by Morgan Daimler

  “Please, please, you must help me –“the woman begged shamelessly, setting Zarethyn’s teeth on edge.

  “As I have already told you, you must go to the human police. The Elven Guard do not handle human crimes,” he repeated, unable to completely hide his frustration.

  “But I told you I already went to Ashwood’s police and they won’t do anything for me. They said she isn’t a missing person yet, because it’s not long enough, and they think she probably just ran away anyway,” the woman bowed her head, her graying hair falling in tangles around her face.

  “Well perhaps you should consider what they are saying-“

  “No!” her head came up sharply as she shouted, and the whole lobby fell silent as people became aware of the unfolding spectacle. Zarethyn frowned and decided he had indulged this far enough. He glanced to the side, getting ready to signal the other Guard in the lobby to escort the woman out when she leaned forward, grabbing his arm and speaking more softly.

  “My daughter’s half-elven, doesn’t that mean you have to help her? Even when the human police won’t?”

  The Guard captain froze at her words. Why couldn’t the cursed woman have said that at the start? he thought and then wincing slightly although being of mixed ancestry does not simplify anything. There is no clear jurisdiction here. When he spoke again his entire demeanor had changed and his tone was cautious. “Her father is elven?”

  “Yes,” the woman said impatiently. “But he isn’t here, he’s in Queen Varessilyn’s kingdom. I’m trying to get ahold of him, but does that matter?”

  “No,” Zarethyn said, reluctantly, “not necessarily. Although it may complicate matters.”

  “Complicate matters? How? What difference does it make? Just find her,” the woman began to cry as she spoke.

  He shook his head slightly, knowing that there was no point trying to explain the complexities of elven politics to the distraught mother. And the fact remained if the girl was half-blooded he could choose to investigate the issue whether or not the human police thought it worth the effort. He hesitated, undecided. “Why did the Ashwood police believe she had run away?”

  The woman looked deflated, obviously expecting a brush off, “We got into a fight right before she left last night. She was going to a party and I told her I didn’t want her to go because she parties too much, and she snuck out and went anyway. I haven’t seen her since.”

  “How old is your daughter?” Zarethyn asked, frowning as he tried unsuccessfully to guess the woman’s age to get an idea of how old her child might be.

  “She just turned seventeen. She has her own car and at first I thought maybe she got into an accident but I checked the clinic, I even checked the earth hospital in Berville, and no one’s seen her. Her friend’s haven’t seen her since the party either. It’s like she’s just disappeared,” the woman shuddered slightly. “Please. Please. She’s all I have, my only child. She wouldn’t just leave me like this. We fight sometimes and she storms off but she always comes right back. It’s not like her to be gone for this long. Something terrible has happened, I know it has.”

  He nodded, still feeling reluctant, but convinced now that it was worth the Guards’ time. The treaty that bound the two cultures together in peace was very specific in who had jurisdiction over which citizens, clearly giving authority to the human police over human victims and perpetrators and leaving the beings of Fairy to the elves. There were also carefully outlined procedures for both the human police and Elven Guard to handle victims and suspects from the other culture. However people of mixed heritage fell into an unanticipated gray area that could cause contention if both forms of law enforcement chose to exercise their rights. In this case though the human police had already refused to investigate leaving the field open for Zarethyn to step in if he chose. Now it was only a matter of deciding who to assign to the case and getting them set on the girl’s trail.

  “What is your daughter’s name?”

  “Jenivarien,” the woman said, wiping her tears, “but everyone calls her Jenny.”

  ***********************

  It had been a long day and since Jason and Liz were both gone Allie decided to make an early night of it. After a quick dinner she read until 9, and then headed up to bed. It felt strange in the house, had felt strange now for the last month, with Syndra gone and Bleidd away. It seemed like forever ago that the five roommates had all enjoyed spending time together, watching movies, getting into long drawn out conversations about almost anything. Allie couldn’t remember that happening at all in the past weeks, although today with Jason had almost been like old times. Up until this point when he had spent time with her they had not talked very much, or the conversations tended to drag or be inane. Although things hadn’t been completely smooth today at least that old feeling of real comradery was back.

  Yawning she changed into an oversized t-shirt and climbed into bed, wondering if all the effort today would pay off. She focused and felt the wards on her bedroom activating. Her body relaxed back into her soft blankets, knowing no one else could enter now without breaking the wards and waking her up. As she started to doze and her mind began to wander she found herself thinking of Jess and wondering how he was doing…if he missed her…

  Allie slowly became aware of people speaking, and a moment later she could see a room, nicely furnished, with an elven woman in a long pink dress standing near a chair. The woman was tall and slim, with slightly curling, fair hair and a quarrelsome expression on her beautiful face. Her voice had a distinctly no-nonsense tone to it when she spoke, “It is time you give up this foolish obsession. It is obvious to everyone else that your affection is not returned.”

  “That is not true.” It was Jessilaen’s voice speaking now, and Allie felt her heart beat faster at the sound.

  “Is it not?” the woman asked, pressing her lips together, “Then where is she? Why is she not here with you?” The woman’s face softened and her voice became wheedling, “Be reasonable. Put the girl aside and consider Avaeryn-“

  “No,” Jess said, his voice harsh. Allie felt a surge of frustration and despair, and then the view shifted to a window looking out over the tops of green trees. Am I dreaming? Allie wondered. What an odd dream. I wonder who the woman is.…And then he was speaking again, “I cannot stop my heart from loving her, nor do I want to, and I will not put her aside for anyone else.”

  Are they talking about me? Allie thought, uncomfortable. Oh no. This isn’t a dream – I’m projecting in my sleep. Oh crap…

  “This love is madness. You are miserable and despairing, even your brother worries for you. This is how it begins, Jessilaen, when a person starts to Decline, to lose the will to live – can you blame us for worrying about you?” She had come up to his side and was clutching his arm, pleading. “This mixed blood girl is not worth it. Avaeryn is highly placed and a good match for you-“

  “Mother please,” Jess said, shaking his head.

  Mother? Allie thought Fabulous, his mother hasn’t even met me and she hates me.

  “Then give the girl an ultimatum and see if her feelings truly match your own,” the woman said, gloating slightly as if she were confident of the outcome.

  Allie felt Jess’s despair surge and realized that he also believed she would reject him if pressed and she felt a wave of guilt. Before she could stop herself she reached out and spoke to him “Don’t be sad Jess.”

  He tensed, looking down to hide his reaction “Allie?’

  “Yes. I was thinking how much I missed you, and you feel so sad. And here I am” she thought to him. It was strictly true, if an edited version of events. She didn’t want him to know how little control she still had over their connection or ask how much of his private conversation she had accidently eavesdropped on.

  His mother misinterpreted his silence, and pressed her point. “Leave the choice in your mixed blood girl’s hands, and if she chooses against you, agree to at least hear the terms of the contract Avaeryn is offering. I
t’s extremely generous and would be to our advantage. She’s even willing to let the child apprentice with the Elven Guard, if you wish it.”

  Allie felt her heart sinking, and cursed the spell-forged bond that put her in the position of overhearing this. Jess winced, his own unhappiness palpable to her, and spoke knowing Allie would hear him, “Mother I have no wish to marry Avaeryn nor to have a child with her-“

  “How can you be so selfish? Would you leave me with no heirs? If you contract to wed her we can negotiate for two children, and if they are both girls one can be my heir. Otherwise, with only you and your brother, my line ends with me,” the elven woman sounded petulant. Allie was really starting to dislike her, which didn’t bode well for any future interactions they might have with each other. Jess shook his head but before he could speak his mother kept going, “Don’t say no yet. Think about it. Leave your options open if your current interest falls through.”

  Possibly sensing she had pushed him as far as she could the woman patted his arm and turned and left. As soon as the door was closed behind her Jess turned back to the window, and thought “Allie? Allie, are you still with me?”

  “I’m here,” she thought back reluctantly. She didn’t know what else to say, since giving an honest opinion of his mother seemed rude, and she was hardly in a position to advise him not to accept a marriage contract after refusing to move in with him when he asked. Or at least it seemed like it would be hypocritical.

  “My love.” For a moment she was simply flooded with an almost overwhelming surge of emotions: happiness, love, longing, relief. When he spoke to her again it was out loud, knowing she would hear, “I have missed the sound of your voice.”

  “You start talking to me aloud people will think you’ve gone mad,” she thought back amused.

  “They already do,” he replied, and she could hear the smile in his voice. “Allie, don’t heed my mother. She has been pressing me to marry for years. You are only an excuse.”

  “That’s comforting,” she thought back wryly. “Why doesn’t she bother Zarethyn about it?”

  “As a Guard captain he is forbidden to marry, until he leaves the Guard or unless he resigns his rank.”

  “Ah. Lucky him”

  He laughed quietly. “Sometimes I think so.” And then, wistfully, “Are you well?”

  Allie spoke without thinking again “I will come see you tomorrow, at the Outpost. That is, if you’ll be there, and if you have time…” she stopped talking as a wave of sheer joy hit her. It almost knocked her out of the fragile lucid dream state she was in and made her feel enormously guilty.

  “Yes!” he said eagerly. “When?”

  She felt even more guilty at his obvious excitement despite her own hurt feelings that he hadn’t tried to contact her himself. If he was just sitting around missing her then why hadn’t he called or visited? Or was this another example of a layer of elven etiquette that she was unfamiliar with? She struggled to hide her own frustration. “When are you free?”

  “I have paperwork I should finish in the morning” he said reluctantly “I would delay that to see you sooner but it is important-“

  “It’s alright.” she thought to him, feeling overwhelmed by the strength of his need for her and afraid he was going to talk himself into putting off his duty, which would surely get him into trouble. “I will come after noon. Is that enough time for you to get your work done?”

  “I will count the hours,” he said softly. “It feels as if I have not seen you in an eternity. I did not believe it was possible for time to pass so slowly.”

  “Well you will be seeing me very soon,” she thought, trying to project reassurance.

  “Allie,” he spoke slowly, and she could feel him choosing his words carefully, “have you…also missed me?”

  “Of course!” she thought back, shocked he had even asked.

  “Forgive me,” he said, “it is just…you rarely speak to me like this. Sometimes I wonder if you are still present or if other things are distracting you.”

  He means Bleidd Allie thought to herself irritated that he would bring that up, even circumspectly. To him she thought “No, nothing distracts me from you. I think of you often. But I don’t want to intrude, I don’t want to bother you by popping into your mind without warning.”

  “It would never bother me,” he said so sincerely it made her regret even more how often she had been in his head when he was unaware she was there. “Please, any time you want to speak to me, do so. I find it very hard to be away from you. At least hearing your voice..”

  “It gives you hope,” she said feeling it from him as she said it.

  “Yes, it gives me hope,” he said softly. “Many – most – of the others believe you do not want to be with me. They think I am mad to reject everyone else and cling to you when you do not seem interested. Even Brynneth who is fond of you believes you have chosen another.”

  “That’s stupid,” she thought, nettled. “There isn’t anyone else but you, so when you aren’t around there isn’t anyone else. But I told you, you don’t have to make yourself miserable for my sake. And just to set your mind at ease you should know that Bleidd isn’t here. He left right after you went on your last assignment to go see his family”

  “Did he? Truly?” Jessilaen moved to stare out the window again, off into the dark forest. “Perhaps that will be good for him. And he is choosing to keep the name he used while he was Outcast, not use his true name? Interesting.”

  They were both silent for a little while and then Jess spoke again, “Allie?”

  “Yes?” she thought back, straining to maintain the connection as her body tried to pull her into a deeper sleep cycle.

  “You told me once that your upbringing was very human, that it colored your understanding of adult relationships.”

  “Yes, that’s true. What I know of elven culture is mostly from a child’s perspective,” she thought back, wondering where he was going with this.

  “Then don’t you prefer monogamy as most humans do? Wouldn’t it bother you if I took another lover?” his voice was hesitant and she could feel his fear, although she wasn’t sure exactly what he was afraid of.

  “Oh Jess,” she thought back sadly “I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to make yourself miserable because of me.”

  “I would be very unhappy if you had another lover,” he said, catching her off guard. She had just assumed that while he didn’t like Bleidd personally he otherwise wasn’t concerned about who she was with as long as she didn’t reject him. It was a very human response but not a very elven one. “And I’m afraid I would be angry. I don’t want to think about it but sometimes I cannot stop myself and I feel like I would not be…safe…around such a person. I do not know if I could control myself. I have not told anyone of course because such behavior – the thought of it even – is not accepted. It is part of why we are raised to reject embracing strong emotions because it is so easy to lose control of them. And elves simply do not fight one another over lovers. It isn’t done. But Bryn – Brynneth – he is a very good friend to me and I think he guesses sometimes what I am thinking even when I don’t speak of it. He has been trying to get me to accept that perhaps you already have taken others to your bed while I have been gone and that I should stop waiting for you.“

  “No I have not!” Allie cut in, too offended to stay quiet anymore, but also pleased that, elf or not, he felt a very human possessiveness about her. She had gone into the relationship expecting to have to adjust to the elven preference for multiple partners and a small selfish part of her was glad that things were turning out the other way around. He was taking the human approach of wanting it to be an exclusive relationship and however unusual that might be in his culture, deep down she was relieved. “There is no one else. No one. And the Light Court may not fight over lovers but the Dark Court does, although I guess that isn’t a great example of civilized behavior.”

  “And would you fight for me?” he asked his words t
easing but his emotions roiling.

  “I might kick Brynneth next time I see him,” she thought rebelliously, and was rewarded by a surge of amusement from Jess. “I do not want to be uncivilized Jess. I don’t want to be your half-human girlfriend who gets into fights over things that every elf finds normal and usual. But honestly? Honestly? I would be very unhappy to know you were with someone else.”

  “You would be jealous?” he asked, and she felt a sense of satisfaction in his words.

  “Yes,” she said, fighting another wave of sleep. “I would be jealous.”

  “Good,” he said, and her stomach twisted at the pleasure in his words.

  She ignored her own misgivings about how extreme his feelings seemed, reminding herself that everything with elves was always extreme “I have to go get some sleep before the whole night is gone. But I will see you soon, I promise,” she thoughtit recklessly, not even caring about the risk of making such a promise if her car broke down or something else unexpected happened.

  Shereached out with her own emotions, letting her feelings flow into him and he gasped leaning against the window “Allie!”

  His emotions flowed back through the link and blended with hers until she could not tell who was feeling what and her whole body was shaking with the intensity of it. She heard herself saying “I love you”

  And then the darkness of sleep took over.

  Chapter 3 – Sunday

  Sunday morning dawned bright and clear and Allie felt a surge of excitement at the thought of going to see Jess. She got up earlier than she needed to and used some of her nervous energy to clean her room, or at least arrange the mess better. The house cat, Riona, sauntered in and curled up on the bed to watch the proceedings, no doubt intrigued by the unusual sight of Allie cleaning, and she found herself talking to the cat as she picked up clothes and books.