Lost in Mist and Shadow: A Between the Worlds Novel

by Morgan Daimler

  “What did you find?”

  “Three bodies,” Allie said, shuddering at the memory.

  “Besides that?”

  “Besides that? What do you mean besides that? Three bodies isn’t enough?” Allie said, suddenly angry.

  “Don’t get mad at me, I didn’t kill anybody,” Syndra said calmly.

  Allie had clenched her hands into fists, and at Syndra’s words she surged to her feet, her voice rising, “Don’t tell me not to get mad. I am mad! This is ridiculous. I don’t want to do this Syn. I don’t want to be dragged through the woods by a skeezy energy trail, feeling someone else’s gross lusty-murder thoughts until I find his victims. His tortured to death, raped, barely-not-kids victims. I don’t want to have their faces burned forever into my brain. I don’t want any of it! I just want to be left alone.”

  Syndra had stopped and stood opposite her watching impassively as Allie yelled. “Well I’m fucking sorry that life didn’t work out the way you wanted. I’m sorry that you’re the only fucking one who can do this so you’re the one who has to do it. Sometimes we just don’t have a choice. You want me to tell you that you got a shitty deal? Fine, you got a shitty deal. Personally I’d much rather be alive right now, but boo-fucking-hoo for me. I got a shitty deal too. Do you see me yelling about it? No. Do you know why? Because it doesn’t do a damn fucking bit of good. So get the fuck over yourself already.”

  Allie gasped, pulling back as if she’d been punched. “That’s not fair.”

  “Life’s not fair,” Syndra said implacably. “Seriously Al, I get that you’re upset. I really do. But people’s lives are on the line here. You really want my death and everything you went through to mean nothing?”

  Allie sat back down, feeling defeated. “What more can I possibly do?”

  “Fuckin’ A, Al, I don’t know,” Syndra said sitting down on the couch across from her, “I just know it’s not over yet.”

  “How do you know it isn’t?”

  “Because I’m still here. Because I still can’t go near that place. But mostly because whoever is doing the killing is still out there, and they aren’t going to stop just because you found their little body farm,” she said.

  Allie rubbed her eyes, feeling tired, “But they – the police and the Guard – know that the site is still being used, someone is still killing. They’ll lock it down now and the ritual has to be done there at that exact spot or he’ll have to start over.”

  “You really think he can’t find a way to use the site even with everyone on alert?” Syndra asked, cocking her head to one side.

  “Syn, this isn’t a horror movie, there’s a limit to what one person can do.”

  “Are you so sure it’s only one person?” Syndra asked, sending shivers down Allie’s spine. “And between him and Walters they’ve done, what? Ten of the rituals. Out of how many?”

  Allie felt her stomach drop. “Thirteen. The original outline was for thirteen.”

  “So ten down three to go. That close to finishing you don’t think he – or they – can find a way to get it done three more times?” Syndra said, holding Allie’s eyes so that she couldn’t look away.

  “What can I do about any of this? I’m just going to get myself killed at this rate,” Allie said flatly.

  “I don’t know what you can do, but you can do something. You’ve done more than the police so far, and you listen to me, which no one else does. You can help them find the answers to stop this from finishing,” Syndra said.

  “And if I can’t?”

  “Then the world – or both of them – are probably screwed,” she said. “But hey on the bright side if you get yourself killed you can hang out with me.”

  Allie opened her mouth to respond but everything was already fading as the dream lost cohesion.

  ****************************

  Monday was always the day Allie used to get caught up on things around the store, because it was usually a fairly slow sales day. Today however she accomplished nothing, sitting listlessly behind the counter and staring out at the street. Everything since finding the bodies had passed in a blur and she still felt, as she had the night before, as if she were standing still and the rest of the world were moving around her.

  She could not stop seeing their faces when she closed her eyes. Did people ever get used to things like this? She wondered if anyone had told Sasha’s family yet. She wondered if the human police would come and talk to her too. But mostly, over and over, she wondered why this was still happening. It should have been over, after everything that had happened, after Walters’ death, it should have been over. And yet somehow it wasn’t. Syndra’s words from her dream replayed over and over in her mind. As the day wore on she began to formulate an idea about why things kept on going, but she wanted desperately to be wrong…

  “Allie,” Bleidd said, gently touching her arm, “you need to eat something.”

  She shook her head slightly, continuing to stare blankly out the window. He had driven her in to work that morning and insisted on staying at the store with her; truth be told she hadn’t had the heart to argue. None of her roommates had taken the news about her finding the bodies well, except Shawn who seemed to find it fascinating in a morbid sort of way. Liz had been nearly hysterical, insisting that Allie needed to leave town and go stay with Liz’s brother across the country. It showed how very upset she was since Liz and Mike hadn’t spoken in almost 30 years; Allie had never even met him and their grandmother had rarely spoken of the grandson who had run away as a teenager. Liz knew full well, at least when she was being rational, that Allie would never even consider going to stay with a total stranger in strange place. Jason and Bleidd both seemed convinced her life was in imminent danger and nothing she could say would convince them otherwise.

  “Allie, you must eat,” Bleidd insisted. “As much as it pains me to agree with Jessilaen about anything he was right when he told you before he left that you should stay home today and rest. If you are going to stubbornly insist on pushing yourself I cannot stop you, but you can at least replenish some energy by eating.”

  “You didn’t have to drive me here today if you felt that way,” Allie said.

  “And you would no doubt have convinced Jason to bring you in, and probably leave you here alone,” Bleidd said grimly.

  She turned her attention to him, annoyed, but before she could think of a retort his face tensed and he stepped back slightly. The bells over the door rang and she turned to see Jess and Mariniessa walking in.

  Jess shared Bleidd’s faintly hostile expression, but Mariniessa was regarding Allie’s friend with open appraisal. Bleidd returned the elven woman’s look with one of his own and Allie felt herself bristling followed immediately by a wave of embarrassment. She had no right to be upset that someone else was interested in Bleidd. Nonetheless she gritted her teeth and busied herself behind the counter. She felt Jess’s concern and after a moment’s hesitation reached out to his mind, opening the line of communication for him to speak to her, “Is everything all right my heart?”

  The problem with mind-to-mind communication, especially as an empath, was that it was almost impossible to conceal what either party was feeling when speaking. “I’m fine. I’m just learning the hard way that I have a jealous streak.”

  “What are you jealous of?” he asked, and she bit her lip, unhappily.

  “I don’t like the way she’s looking at him,” she admitted.

  “Are you jealous that someone else might be interested in him or that he might return the interest?” he thought back, and she could feel his own mixed emotions at the idea.

  “Mostly I’m an idiot,” she thought back, feeling tired, “I’m not myself today at all”. Out loud she made a point of greeting both of the Elven Guard politely as they reached the counter, “Good afternoon, Jessilaen, Mariniessa. Mariniessa this is my friend Morighent who goes by the name Bleidd here.”

  The double name clearly piqued the mage’s curiosity and she smiled ch
armingly at Bleidd, “Good afternoon to you both. It is a pleasure to meet you Bleidd.”

  “And to meet you as well Mariniessa. I had forgotten how good that uniform could look on the right figure,” Bleidd said, the compliment a fairly tame one as such things went. It grated on Allie’s nerves anyway and she braced herself for the return compliment that etiquette required Mariniessa to respond with. It would show how genuine her interest in him was.

  The elven mage tilted her head, looking up through her eyelashes, “And I would not have thought that drab human clothing could look so good as they do on you. Perhaps later we could explore this further?”

  “I need to use the restroom and grab some lunch from the back,” Allie said, earning a concerned look from Jess which she ignored. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Allie,” Jess thought to her, as she ducked into the bathroom “does it bother you so much to see him with someone else?”

  “I have no right to be bothered by what or who he does,” she thought back waspishly.

  “And yet you are. Do you love him so much then?” he thought back to her. She could feel his jealousy and unhappiness at the thought and she closed her eyes, leaning against the wall.

  “I do love him, you already know that. But I am with you and only you. And he is free to be with whoever he chooses,” she thought to him. She doubted that was a fully satisfying answer, but it was the truth and she hoped it was enough for him; she didn’t want to walk back out into the middles of a fist fight.

  Allie came out of the bathroom and almost ran into Bleidd in the narrow hallway. For an instant they stood awkwardly before she moved to edge past him and he reached out and grabbed her shoulder, “Allie, if it bothers you I won’t do it.”

  “Maybe she just bothers me,” Allie muttered, looking down, but she shook her head slightly knowing that wasn’t fair. “Bleidd I have no right to tell you what to do in your life. If you want to sleep with her, then sleep with her.”

  He pressed forward, into her personal space, until she could feel his emotions as strongly as her own, “Tell me not to and I won’t.”

  “I can’t tell you not to go with her when I’m not offering you anything here,” she said tightly.

  “Allie,” he started, but she cut him off.

  “We both know you want to, just do it, but if you want me to tell you it bothers me, then fine. It bothers me. I don’t know why it does now when it never has before, but it does. I’ll just have to learn to deal with it,” she said, forcing the words out.

  “What do you mean before?” he shifted slightly away from her, making it easier to sort out her own feelings from his.

  “Before, Bleidd. Meaning every other time you hooked up with someone before now.” At his completely stunned look she frowned, “You must know that I knew? You never brought anyone back to the house, but all those nights after you’d been drinking when I helped you – I’m an empath, even when my shielding was better and my gift wasn’t all over the place, touching someone, well I’d have to be totally head blind not to know.”

  He looked down and she was surprised to feel what she would almost swear was chagrin coming from him. “You can’t seriously have thought I’d believe you were just celibate all this time? All these years? I’m young but I’m not stupid.”

  “Of course you’re not,” he murmured. “My apologies. Perhaps I had nurtured a view of myself through your eyes that may have been a bit unrealistic.”

  “Why would it bother me? You’re an elf, that’s what elves do.”

  “But it’s not what you do Allie,” he said gently.

  “So what? Why should you change for me?”

  “Why shouldn’t I? He has and you seem to like that well enough,” he shot back.

  She pushed past him, into the small kitchenette. “As you pointed out earlier, I need to eat.”

  “Allie-“

  “Listen, I don’t want people changing for me,” she said, trying to keep her voice low. “I don’t want to feel like other people, people I care about, are making themselves unhappy to try to be what they think I want them to be. I realize I have this whole monogamy hang up, which is completely un-elven. And I also realize I’m a raging hypocrite because I’m in love with two people myself which isn’t the most monogamous thing ever, but I just can’t change that it feels wrong to me to even think about being with – sleeping with – more than one person at a time. And don’t make a joke out of that because you know what I mean. I’m with Jess and that means that I can’t also be with you and so if you have a shot at her take it. For the love of the Gods take it. Because it will bother me to think about it but I’ll feel a lot worse if you don’t do it because of me.”

  She pulled a sleeve of crackers out of the cabinet over the sink, and closed the door loudly. Bleidd stood in the hallway regarding her, wide eyed. Finally he said, “Do you ever wonder if the only reason he is so set on this perverse monogamy of yours is precisely because it’s yours? Because the connection you have with each other has influenced him?”

  She looked up at him, her face expressionless. “Yeah, actually I have.”

  She ignored the flash of shock that went across his face and pushed past him, heading back out to the main room.

  *************************************

  Jessilaen stood uneasily waiting for Allie and the former-Outcast to emerge from the back area of her store. He knew she had only fled to the bathroom because she was upset, and he could not deny that it bothered him greatly to see her so distressed over someone else; anyone else would have displeased him, but Bleidd especially. When his rival had followed her into the back he had gritted his teeth and held his ground, knowing that to go after them would only make him look insecure and probably escalate the situation.

  Mariniessa was peering curiously around the store. Jess did not particularly like the young mage, who was far too convinced of her own importance, but he had to acknowledge her skill. She was an asset to have on his squad, even if he felt his leadership constantly challenged by her assumption that as a female she should be in charge. If only she could be more like Aeyliss, who had never cared about gender but only about the proper order of things. Sometimes he envied human males the superiority they found within their own culture, although certainly human women were as unhappy with patriarchal society as elven males were with matriarchy.

  Allie came back out carrying a handful of crackers. Her expression was strained and Bleidd, following behind her, looked unhappy. Jess restrained a smile at that; all the better for him if things were not well between those two. But when he spoke he put personal matters aside and focused only on business. “The police have begun processing the scene. They have brought the bodies out to their laboratory to autopsy but preliminary results are…somewhat confusing.”

  “How so?” Allie asked, eating slowly. He wanted very much to ask her how she was doing today after yesterday’s events, but that would have to wait. She looked tired, although perhaps the others didn’t notice it, as he saw it more in a tightness around her eyes and a paleness in her face. Her hair, a darker blond than his own, was up in its usual ponytail, neatly smoothed back to cover her ears. Her clothing was also not out of the ordinary, jeans and a loose green t-shirt over that strange constrictive undergarment human women insisted on. He realized suddenly that he had been staring, lost in contemplating her appearance, and had let too much time go by after she’d spoken.

  Trying to seem nonchalant about the odd pause he said, “In some ways the girls fit the pattern of the ritual murders: they were raped, cut, and killed in the same manner. However they also show signs of different injuries never seen on the previous victims and no bleach was used. The police are leaning towards the theory that this is a copycat killer who is trying to imitate Walters, but is not doing so exactly. They feel this case belongs only to them and do not want to see the joint task force re-formed.”

  She frowned, shaking her head slightly, “That’s not good. There’s something not rig
ht about that theory.”

  “It is perfectly logical,” Mariniessa said reasonably.

  “I know it is, but it’s still wrong somehow,” Allie said.

  “How?” Mariniessa scoffed, clearly agreeing with the human police.

  “I don’t know,” Allie said, her voice soft. “I don’t know. But this is more than just a random crazy human copying what Walters did. For one thing how does he know how to do the ritual? The actual ritual, not just the motions of it?”

  “That is an excellent question,” Jess agreed. “It should be impossible to reproduce that ritual without intimate knowledge of the ceremony itself, which even we do not have.”

  “Do we not?” Mariniessa said, disbelieving.

  “Theoretically Allie is the only living person who should know the details of how the ritual is done,” Bleidd said, making Allie shift uncomfortably.

  Jess repressed his own wince at that reminder, “Indeed, and we know that she is not the one doing this, nor has she spoken of those details to anyone.”

  To his utter annoyance Mariniessa turned to Allie as if neither he nor Bleidd’s words had adequate weight, and said, “You know the ritual but have told no one, not even the Elven Guard?”

  Allie’s eyes met his briefly, obviously confused about why the elven woman was asking a question that had already been answered and Jess had to fight the urge to call Mariniessa out on her attitude. At least he could be grateful that Allie lacked an ingrained self-aggrandizement based on something as arbitrary as her gender, one advantage of her mostly human upbringing. When she answered her voice was only slightly puzzled, “I shared some of the general concepts of the ritual with the Guard, with the squad I was helping last time that is, and with the human police. But I…the ritual itself is too dangerous for anyone to know how to do it, and be tempted to use it.”

  “And you are not tempted?” Mariniessa said casually. Jess inhaled sharply at the woman’s nerve. He did not know if she was trying to bait Allie into an angry response or to offend her so blatantly that the younger woman would speak rashly and give the mage a reason to take offense herself, but either way it was unbearably rude.