Kiss n Tell

by Suzy McCoppin

  “I’m at the Standard,” I managed.

  There was a perplexed pause.

  “As in, the Standard Hotel? Downtown?” she asked.

  “Mm-hm,” I nodded.

  “Okaaay. Why aren’t you with your mom? Is anyone with her? She must be—”

  “Vaughn,” I said, my voice coarse. “I lost everything.”

  She sighed. “No, I lost everything,” she said sadly.

  “No,” I pressed. “I got it back. Most of it anyway. And then I lost it again.”

  Vaughn didn’t speak. I could tell she was confused.

  “Anais,” she said slowly. “What are you talking about?”

  “I sold my dad’s watch,” I said.

  “The Rolex?”

  “Yeah.” I swallowed, trying to find the words. “That’s why I’m here. I came last night, to meet this guy. Exchange it for cash. Then—I don’t know what happened. I must’ve—blacked out, I—”

  “Wait,” Vaughn interjected. “Let’s not give up. Let’s think about this.” She paused. My heart leapt, a flicker of hope.

  “You’re the most responsible girl I know,” she said. “There’s no way it’s gone. You just—put it somewhere so safe you can’t remember,” she said.

  I sighed. “Vaughn, I emptied my purse …”

  “What’s the most practical place you can think of?” Vaughn urged. “The tiny pocket in the lining of my purse. I already looked there.”

  “Right. Now. Where’s the last place you’d think anyone would ever look?”

  I bit my lip. It was the pocket in the purse. That’s where I planned to put it. That’s where I would have put it.

  “Vaughn, the pocket, it’s the only—”

  “It’s not,” she insisted. “They’re two different things: the most practical place, and the place no one would look.”

  I shifted on the concrete, picking my granny panties out of my butt. Then it hit me. A flash. Wobbling to the ladies’ room to … to … I froze. My heart raced. I placed the palm of my hand over the elastic band in the front of my purple Fruit of the Looms. There was something there.

  “My granny panties,” I murmured,

  “Please tell me you’re not still wearing those,” Vaughn retorted.

  I reached under the skirt of my infinity dress and felt the specific worn texture of a wad of cash tucked inside the elastic band. I plucked it from my waist, my heart lifting. Suddenly, I was face-to-face with President Stephen Grover Cleveland. I gasped for air. Tears sprung to my eyes.

  “Anais?” Vaughn called. “Anais, are you there? What is it?”

  I counted the bills quickly to be sure: all ten were there. I closed my eyes and looked to the sky, letting the sun warm my wet face. I thanked God for the strength, resilience, and reliability of Fruit of the Loom underwear.

  “It’s here,” I said finally.

  “What? The money?” Vaughn gasped.

  “Yes, in my undies!” I exclaimed, laughing and crying at the same time.

  “Shut up,” Vaughn said, deadpan.

  “Totally serious,” I replied, my voice breaking.

  Vaughn shrieked with laughter. “I love that that‘s the place you think no one would look,” she roared.

  * * *

  We stayed like that for a while: laughing, crying, gripping our Blackberries to our hot, little ears. Then we settled down into a near-silence.

  “Thank you,” I murmured.

  I could hear Vaughn had started to cry. “How can you thank me?” she asked desperately. “I ruined everything. I was—horrible, I—”

  I shook my head. “Everyone makes mistakes,” I said. “Clearly. I’m sitting by a pool with a hangover in the same clothes I wore last night, with ten grand stashed in my underwear.”

  Vaughn giggled, then sniffled hard. “Still,” she said. “I was a terrible friend. Austin and I tried to make it up to you, I hope it worked—”

  “Austin?” I interjected, mildly encouraged.

  “Yeah,” Vaughn sighed. “He loves you, Anais. Nothing happened between him and Stella. You’ll see.”

  I smiled sadly. “See?” I croaked.

  “I’ll show you,” she assured me. “We just need to get you off that roof.”

  I tapped the business card for Louis Hernandez, the limo driver, on my knee. I heard a car honk on the other end of the line.

  “I’ll meet you at the hospital,” I said.

  “You sure? I can pick you up?” Vaughn replied.

  “No, don’t go out of your way,” I said. “I’ll call a cab.”

  “Okay, hurry,” she said softly. “I’m dying to hug my best friend.”

  * * *

  I watched my feet make their way across the scratched linoleum floors of the hospital and tried to find the simplest way to break the news to my mom that the Rolex was gone. I couldn’t think straight. My head pounded. My vision was all fuzzy. The hallway smelled like something putrid covered up with cleaning products. It was making me nauseous. A nurse leered at me as I stumbled forward in my borrowed Louboutins. I probably looked worse than Snooki in her drunken mug shot.

  I ducked into the ladies’ room and dabbed water under my eyes with a wet paper towel, removing as much residual eye makeup as possible. I redid my disheveled chignon, smoothing my hair into a tight knot. I gulped some water from the tap and looked in the mirror. I looked older. Tired. But I knew I’d done the right thing. I’d tell my mother I was desperate. I didn’t know what else to do. I’d apologize. The important thing was, we’d be able to pay for the initial surgery.

  I smoothed the back of my dress over my butt and went to the door. As I opened it, I nearly collided with Vaughn. Vaughn. My Vaughn. She was wearing skinny jeans and one of her little brother’s hoodies, her hair in a messy ponytail. I swallowed hard, my breath caught in my chest. She smiled sadly at me.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Hey,” I croaked.

  She shifted her weight. I could tell she was trying not to cry. “I missed you,” she said, her eyes meeting mine. She seemed sincere for the first time in ages.

  “You did?” I asked, kicking the tile floor. “It didn’t really seem like it,” I murmured.

  Vaughn bit her lip, her head shaking solemnly. “I know,” she said. “I don’t know what came over me, I was—terrible…” She started to cry.

  I sighed and wrapped my arms around her. She was so small. “Don’t cry, Vaughn,” I said. “You’re gonna make me cry.”

  She sniffled and pulled away from me. “I’m sorry,” she said, crossing her arms. “It was like—you know when you want something so bad? And then you get it, and it’s not really what you wanted? But you waited for it for so long, that you kind of have to force yourself to believe it’s what you want? To make it work for you?”

  I blinked at her.

  She sighed. “Anyway, I think I, like, had to become like them to feel like it all fit together. Like it was right, you know?”

  She looked at me all wide-eyed, hoping for understanding. I didn’t have it. But I did miss her. And I did appreciate that she was trying to explain, to apologize. Maybe some day, I’d get it. Right now it just felt like there was too much weighing on me to worry about Vaughn’s point of view.

  She shook her head. “It’s stupid,” she said quickly. “And I know none of this is an excuse. I was … terrible, I know. I just—I want to make it up to you.”

  I nodded. “I need to see my mom,” I said, my voice thick.

  She smiled, took me by the arm and led me out of the bathroom. I was grateful for that.

  For her, being there for me.

  * * *

  When we reached my mom’s room, I still had no idea what I was going to say. She was lying there, smiling at me, reaching out for me, the sun blaring through the cheap, nylon curtains. She looked good. Her cheeks high, her eyes bright. No different than any other morning.

  “Baby,” she whispered.

  I moved toward her, tears filling my eyes.
I sat on the edge of the bed and we hugged for what felt like a very long time. I couldn’t let go. Everything I’d felt in the past month flooded me. Now that she had had her surgery and the prognosis was good, now that she was here, in my arms, I felt just how scared I was of losing her. It was overwhelming.

  I pulled out of the hug abruptly and wiped my nose. “I missed you,” I said.

  “I missed you!” she exclaimed.

  “I’m so glad you’re okay,” I murmured, sniffling.

  She smiled at me. “Me too,” she said, rubbing my arm. She observed me, taking in my dress, hair, makeup, and shoes. “Hey, why’re you so dressed up? Where’d you get those clothes?” she asked.

  I sighed and looked at my hands, playing with the folds of the infinity dress. “I have to tell you something,” I murmured.

  My mom frowned. Vaughn stepped forward and put her hand on my shoulder. My eyes searched the filthy, popcorn ceiling. I didn’t know where to begin. I reached into my clutch and pulled out the cash. I handed it to my mom. She took it, stunned, her jaw dropped.

  “Honey,” she said, wary. “What is this? What’s going on?”

  “I sold dad’s Rolex,” I said quietly.

  She gasped lightly, staring at me, stunned.

  I took her hand. “I’m so sorry, mom,” I pleaded. “I had no choice!” She shook her head ruefully.

  I inhaled. “Mom,” I said, trying to keep my voice even. “I know you’re upset, but I was alone, and I was scared, and I had no idea how we were going to pay for all this, this—”

  She looked at me, arranging her face into a weak smile. “It’s okay,” she whispered, shaking her head.

  I frowned. “What?”

  She sighed. “I should have never told you how much this would all cost. I was trying to be honest with you, but I guess it just made you feel responsible for coming up with the money when that’s not your responsibility at all. I’m the parent. It’s my job to provide for us.” She wiped some tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  I shook my head. “It’s okay, mom,” I said quietly.

  “But you should have come to me, baby,” she added. “You knew I never wanted to sell that watch. I would have come up with the money some other way. I’ve been talking to an agent who said he could get me gigs doing hair outside the salon. Like at photo shoots and things like that. I could have saved quite a bit for us.”

  “Really?” I asked weakly.

  My mom nodded. “And what happened to all that money from the website, huh?” she asked.

  “It was my fault,” Vaughn blurted.

  We looked to her. I couldn’t believe in all the chaos I’d never asked Vaughn for an explanation.

  “I was threatened,” Vaughn said. “By Baron Caldwell from Bloodletting.”

  “What?” my mom asked, perplexed.

  “We had run a story on him on KissnTell. He found out I was behind it. He threatened to blow our cover if I didn’t hand over my Paypal card. I tried to get away, but …”

  My mom shook her head. “Oh my God… that’s … What have you girls gotten into?”

  Vaughn shrugged, helpless. “I didn’t know what else to do!”

  I shook my head. I almost felt bad for Vaughn. She was trying to protect us. She must have been so scared. My mom sighed and counted the money. She seemed overwhelmed. She looked at me like I had changed suddenly. Like I had caught her by surprise. It made me feel nostalgic.

  “I don’t want you two to do that site anymore,” she murmured.

  Vaughn started to object but I stopped her, taking my mom’s hand. “But mom,” I said. “We’re really good at it.”

  My mom raised her eyebrows. “Oh yeah?” she challenged.

  “Yeah!” I countered. Then I had a thought. “What if you were our manager?” I asked.

  “Manager?” she said, skeptical.

  “Supervisor, whatever!” I said, flustered. “What if you kept an eye on us? Could we continue to update the site then?”

  My mom laughed. “Girls, I don’t know,” she started, before trailing off into a sigh. “All this negotiating is tiring me out. Don’t you two have something more fun to be doing anyway?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Mom,” I said. “We’re here to hang out with you.”

  “I’m fine,” she said. “Just a little sleepy. In fact, I think I’m going to take a nap.”

  When we hesitated, she clapped her hands and gestured to the door. “Out!” she ordered, smiling broadly.

  So Vaughn and I wandered down to the lobby and outside onto the sidewalk in front of the hospital. The place was sort of recognizable from TV; it was in the opening credits of a million old hospital shows. I knew it was stupid, but there was something comforting about the fact that my mom was being cared for in a TV hospital—like she would be okay at the end of the half hour. I knew it didn’t actually work that way, of course. It was just one of those things.

  “Want to walk to the beach?” Vaughn asked.

  The beach wasn’t that close, but we had nothing else to do, and even though it was sunny out, the cool breeze felt good against my throbbing temples. So we strolled down Santa Monica Boulevard toward the pier, not really talking. I wasn’t really sure what we were supposed to say to each other anyway.

  I forgave Vaughn and everything. I understood why she did everything she did, and even though I wouldn’t have done a lot of that stuff myself, I wasn’t mad. We were just different. We were very different. But she was still my best friend. Who else would have known that my money was in my granny panties?

  “I need to tell you something about Austin,” Vaughn said, suddenly. I shook my head.

  “I don’t wanna hear it,” I murmured. “Not now.”

  “It’s important,” Vaughn insisted. “He wasn’t doing anything with Stella.” I turned to her, frowning.

  “He just wanted to get her for the site. For us. For you and your mom.”

  Vaughn pulled out her phone and showed me the screen. It was the KissnTell home page. The headline—“Jack Beldon’s Daughter’s Illegal Extracurricular Activity EXPOSED!”—was emblazoned across the top. I squinted at it. My heart quickened.

  “He wanted to catch her doing coke so KissnTell could have the exclusive,” Vaughn finished.

  “Oh,” I said. I didn’t know what else to say. I felt kind of stupid. And I didn’t feel completely better.

  “He loves you,” Vaughn said quietly. “You’re lucky.”

  I sighed. “But, it’s like—it just didn’t feel good. Seeing him go in there with her and everything.”

  “Yeah,” Vaughn said. “I get it. You’ve kind of got to let it go, though.”

  * * *

  We arrived at the beach, kicked off our shoes, and sat down on the edge of the water where we picked up little handfuls of sand and tossed them off into the horizon. The wind was in my hair. The day was warm and perfect. I was uncertain about everything.

  I don’t know. If I’d had to write the story of this year from the beginning, I would have never predicted in a million years that things would turn out like this. I would never have considered most of the things that had ended up happening along the way. Suddenly, I was more aware than ever of the fact that I had no idea what was going to happen next.

  I hoped my mom would be okay. I hoped Vaughn and I would be friends again—friends like before. I hoped KissnTell would make us a billion dollars and we wouldn’t have to worry about anything ever again. For that matter, I hoped my mom would reconsider her ban on KissnTell.

  I hoped Austin and I could go back to normal. It was still weird for me to think of having a hot, sweet boyfriend as anything at all close to “normal.” But it was.

  I had to believe we would be okay. I was smiling just thinking about him.

  I was still smiling when I looked over at Vaughn, sitting there in the sand with her knees folded to her chest. Underneath the new clothes and makeup and hair, I saw the girl I’d always known. If I squinted, I could almost picture
her with that horrible bowl cut. I wondered, had it really been so bad?

  Then I remembered: yes. Yes it had been so bad. I had to laugh.

  A wave came in and licked at our toes. Vaughn saw me laughing.

  “What?”

  I was laughing harder now. “Can you believe any of this?”

  Vaughn didn’t bother answering. She just started laughing too. We collapsed on our backs and another wave came in and this time it got our legs. We didn’t care.

  Well, we didn’t care until we noticed our shoes being carried away.

  “My Louboutins!” I screamed, and scrambled to my feet. “I’m supposed to return them to Kitson by noon!” Vaughn was right behind me and we went running into the surf, splashing and diving for the wayward shoes. It was too late. They were just little hot pink specks in the distance, getting farther and farther away.

  I didn’t care. It was really, really funny.

  About the Authors

  Allison Swan survived her ugly duckling years by hiding in the library and losing herself in one book after another. These days she gets more dates than she did back then, but she still enjoys spending the occasional Friday night at home reading.

  When she isn’t curled up with her dog Bambi and a good book, Allison can be found on the red carpet interviewing everyone from Angelina Jolie to Zac Efron.

  After graduating from New York University, Suzy McCoppin began her journalistic career at the trash-tastic Star magazine, where she was an undercover “club girl” for three years. Since then she’s reported for Life & Style, In Touch, Daily Mail, Heat, and News of the World.

  Suzy’s signature “take” on Hollywood and all things Pop Culture can now be found on Popdust.com and in her radio podcast, Undercover with Suzy McCoppin.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual events is purely coincidental.

  Full Fathom Five Digital is an imprint of Full Fathom Five

  KissnTell

  Copyright © 2014 by Full Fathom Five, LLC

  All rights reserved.