by Amo Jones
Cass glares. “Maddox, don’t change the subject. She’s on that because it’s the way of the future.”
I sigh. I’d fight her on the electronic thing later. Cassidy has always hated that I do MMA. Even at school, but even more so as an adult.
“You don’t need to do this, Maddox! You’re rich, a business owner—even at your age, and I rest my case. You do not need to.”
“Cass, I don’t expect you to understand this.”
Her shoulders stiffen. “Would she understand this?”
I freeze, narrowing my eyes on her. “Cut the shit, Cassidy.” My jaw flexes.
She moans. “Fine.” Then she comes toward me, her palms resting on my cheeks. I search her blue eyes and soften slightly. “I’m sorry. You know how I get with her.”
I did. I knew exactly how she got with Amethyst. Even so much as a mention about her and Cassidy turns into fucking Ursula from the Little Mermaid. I made that connection after watching it endlessly with Kennedy when she went through her mermaid phase.
Cassidy is insecure by nature because of her rough entry into the world. Everyone who was ever supposed to be there for her wasn’t. I was her constant growing up, and I’m not going to lie by saying that she didn’t mean anything to me, because she did. She does. But did the feelings I had for Cassidy match the same ones I had for Amethyst? Not even fucking close. After a year of not seeing Amethyst, I can still feel the burning need for her simmering beneath the surface. The feeling is like a sleeping volcano waiting to erupt. It’s why we moved away from New York, way away, and settled in Las Vegas. With my fights at the MGM center and others, it seemed appropriate to move here. I’ve been going home once a month for the past year. To check on Dutch and see the family. Talon is definitely Kennedy’s favorite uncle. Every time I go back, I go on a Saturday. Talon had said that Amethyst is there on Sundays and he didn’t think she was stable enough to see me, and I got it. Completely got what she was feeling. It’s just easier this way—to not see each other. I feared the day our eyes locked again, not for myself or for her, but for everyone around us that would feel the aftermath.
Cassidy kisses me and then scoops up her handbag that probably cost more than the average person’s first car. “Can you make sure you send those out, then?”
I ignore what she is pointing to and look her up and down. “Where are you going?”
“Out with the girls.” She punches some numbers into her phone and then shoots out the door. My eyes go to Rocky, our driver-slash-guard.
“Want me to follow her, boss?”
I clench my jaw a few times then shoot back my whiskey. “Nup. She can do what she wants.”
Looking to the pile of envelopes on the counter, I reach for the bottle of whiskey and rip the cap off with my teeth.
“You alright, boss?” Rocky asks, watching me carefully. Rocky used to work for my dad, but I took him with me when I left.
“I don’t know.”
AMETHYST
My house is in West Hollywood down St. Ives Drive. Its architecture is second to none with the clean glass windows and the infinity pool that demands the view of Hollywood Hills.
“Of fucking course,” I cuss, shaking my head and switching on the main lights. The emptiness sets off chills over my flesh. It’s cold, and new, and way the hell not me at all. This is what I get for letting my mom, Elliot, and the boys choose my house.
“I don’t want to bother you guys with it! It’ll be fine. I’ll grab a small cute cottage in town. Somewhere close to the studio so I can walk to work.”
“Ah, no,” Talon declared, heading for the fridge to take out the orange juice. Mom snatched it off him and poured it into a glass before he could wrap his caveman lips around the rim. “No sister of mine will be living like that.”
Mom handed him the glass. “Amethyst, please let me do this for you,” she insisted, coming toward me, taking my hands in hers. “Please.” Her eyes searched mine pleadingly, and I knew I had to. Mom had always wanted to spoil me and give me everything in the world but never could. Now that she had Elliot, I guess she thought she could.
“It doesn’t feel right, Mom.”
Elliot resurfaced from somewhere down the hall, probably his office. “Amethyst, please, I insist.”
I sighed. “Okay. Please nothing over the top, and I am paying the rent there every month, so nothing too extreme either. Also, it will need to be furnished for now.”
They all looked at each other and then agreed. “Deal.”
Clearly, they broke that deal, because this house is something I could never afford.
I drop a couple of my boxes—the only box’s I had—to the floor. The loud bang breaking through the eerily silence.
“This is way too much.” I shake my head, reaching for my phone. When I drove up the cramped road, I passed what looked to be mid-range houses, but this is not mid-range, this is extravagant.
I dial my mom’s phone first, but no one answers, so I hang up and dial Talon.
He picks up. “…Hey!” there’s shuffling in the background.
“Um, did I interrupt something?”
“What?” He clears his throat. “Oh, no, no way. What’s up? You got there safely I see!”
“Hear,” I correct, and then tilt my head, taking in the space. When you walk through the front door, you take a few steps down into a square looking lounge room. The entire wall ahead of me is glass and opens out onto the infinity pool in the back that has lights beaming through the water. LA twinkles in the night below. It’s beautiful, but it’s too much. I step forward.
“Breathe.” Talon knows me. He knows that I’d be silently freaking out about the price of this place. “It’s yours now, just accept it.”
I shake my head. “I can’t.” I crank my head to look up above. The high ceiling carries on and just to the left is the twisted flight of stairs that lead up to a hallway that lines almost the entire upper-floor so you can look down from upstairs. “It’s a lot to take in and I can’t afford it, Talon!”
“Amethyst,” he sighs. I hear a sharp intake of breath, not Talon, someone else.
“Who is there?” I ask, swallowing through the lump that has formed in my throat. Even though I ask, deep down I know who it is. My blood turns cold. “I’ve got to go—”
“Ame, Wait!—” I hang up the phone. Squeezing my eyes closed, I try to shake off the panic attack that’s seeping into me. I haven’t felt like this since that day…
Past
I wondered idly if I could diagnose myself with insomnia. Like, is that what people did? They just declared “Hey, I’m a shit sleeper, I must have a condition”? I wasn’t sure, but the tossing and turning lately had eaten into the routine I usually had. I looked at the alarm clock that sat on my bedside table. Three a.m. Wasn’t that witching hour?
I sighed, sitting up in my bed and turning on the light. Leila was at Wolf’s for the one-hundredth time this week. I closed my eyes while sitting up. Why did I miss him? His touch, his kiss, his everything. Why. Why did he have to consume me at every turn? The universe was a bitch, because I could never have him. He wasn’t mine anymore. Those words stung more than anything, even if it was from myself.
My phone started vibrating on my bedside table and I reached for it. It was weird, someone calling me at this hour, then I freaked out when I saw it was a number I didn’t recognize. It could be someone the police calling… shit.
I swiped my phone to unlock and quickly pressed it to my ear. “Hello?” My voice was breathless, what from all the freaking out I had just done.
Silence.
I looked down to make sure the call was still connected. “Talon, if you think this is funny I’m going to kill you when I see you tomorrow. You know how I get on no sleep.” I snuggle deeper into my covers and hit the light off. I don’t know why I didn’t just hang up. My eyebrows crossed. “Who is this?”
There was a sharp intake of breath on the other line. I froze, squeezing my phone.
&
nbsp; “Maddox?” I whispered softly.
He didn’t reply, but the call stayed connected. I woke the next morning at eight a.m. and opened up my call dialogue. Maybe I dreamed it. It wouldn’t be the first time. Maddox visited me in my dreams every night in the form of a nightmare.
But there it was. That number. Was it the same number he always had? I wouldn’t know because I deleted it when he left. I opened the info of the call.
Call length: 4:42.87 seconds.
He had only just hung up.
I threw myself into studies after that phone call to busy myself or I’d think too much into it. I knew it was him, every single bit of me tingled with need. That’s why I had to throw myself into work, because if I didn’t, I’d get myself excited, when in actual fact, Maddox Stone will never be mine again.
Present
I push my phone into the back pocket of my jeans and take a tentative step deeper into the entryway. There’s a large U shape lounge that is facing the glass wall in the sitting room and a small mini bar in the corner. The kitchen is to the left and is…I pop my head around the corner, yup, all crystal white.
I hate white. White represents purity, something I am not.
I like black. Black represents rebellion, something I am. Something I will carry with me until I’m grey and old.
I sigh and open the fridge door. Fully stocked with food. Great. My phone vibrates in my pocket again.
I open it and see a new text from Leila.
Lei: We gt ur car shipped there 2. It’s in the garage. Don’t be mad, I mean angry, Ame. This is your family, you’re basically a Stone, and they take care of each other.
I reply out a text, punching each key way too hard.
Me: I hate you
My phone dings.
Lei: Will you still hate me if I tell you that me and the boys will be there in two sleeps?
I immediately lighten. Yes, this place is way too big for me. And too wealthy. But I can make it work, and anyway, I’ll be mostly working a lot. I shoot back a text to Leila.
Me: I love you.
MADDOX
“Hey, baby.” I pick Kennedy up from the floor and hug her into my chest. Her long legs dangle down my body. “You need to stop growing.”
“Daddy, I’m fine,” she laughs, going back to the floor. She picks up her iPad and starts playing her game. Fucking iPad.
“Uncle Talon is still your favorite, right?” Talon grins at her.
Kennedy giggles and nods. “Yes. But don’t tell Uncle Wolf.”
Talon seals his lips.
Liza hands me a glass of whiskey. “You okay? This dad thing looks good on you, but I must say…”
“What?” I answer, looking up at her and taking a drink. “I don’t look happy? Bullshit because I am.”
Talon gazes at Liza and gestures down to Kennedy. “Give us a minute?” Liza searches his eyes and then blinks at Kennedy.
She swallows nervously. “Um, what do I do with it?” She points to Kennedy.
Talon rolls his eyes.
She eventually takes Kennedy out of the room.
“Now.” Talon sits beside me on the sofa and I inch down, my head resting on the back and my legs stretched wide.
My whiskey is resting on my knee and I have to fight every urge to get out of this room. We’re all scarily linked together. We mostly know when one of us is feeling off-balance, so it doesn’t surprise me that Talon is about to ask some questions. “You gonna spill what’s going on with you and Cass? She’s never here, dawg.”
“Because she prefers going out with her girls than being a fucking mom.”
“What?” Talon’s brows tug together. “Kennedy is six, What do you mean?”
“I mean, since I’ve come back into the picture, Cass has been pretty much shoveling everything onto me. She thinks it’s a punishment to me for missing all the years, but it’s fucking not. Love my fucking kid, but now that Ken is older, she’s starting to recognize that absence of her mom. It’s not that she’s a shit mom, because she’s not. It’s just she’s too busy punishing me and not realizing that it’s fucking up Kennedy. I’m ‘bout ready to bounce up out of here.”
“Why don’t you? You know you don’t need to do this. It’s the twenty-first century, Maddox. It’s okay to walk the fuck away…”
I shake my head. “It’s not, though. You know that. I don’t know. I’m going to have words with her later, give her an ultimatum. I just want what’s best for Ken. I don’t want her to end up messed up just because her mom and dad couldn’t pull their shit together. She keeps fucking thinking I’m cheating on her too.”
“You’re not Dad, Maddox, you wouldn’t cheat on Cassie.”
“Wouldn’t I?” My eyes connect with his, understanding softening his features. “A certain girl with pink hair might change your theory on that.”
He chuckles. “We’re going to her place after we leave here. Just to check in on her. Big city, new girl and all that.”
I still. Every protective bone in my body damn near fractures. “If anything happens to her, Ta—”
Talon raises his eyebrows, cutting me off. “—As I said, she’s a big girl, she can handle herself. You need to calm down.”
When Talon and Dad first started looking at houses for her, I didn’t like it. I fought them at every turn. I didn’t want her there alone, fuck that. Especially as a fresh actress in the big city, I hated it. Still hate it, but Talon promised that she’d get the best of everything. When I saw the house, I laughed. Instantly knew she’d hate it, which is why I gave the all clear, hoping she’d hate it enough to move her ass home.
I sigh and look ahead. “It’s pointless, because either way, I lose, right?”
Talon gets up and pours himself a drink. “You don’t have to lose, bro. Just do what’s right.”
“Right for who?” I ask. “Hmm? Because my morals say to be here with Cassie, but my soul and heart were claimed a long fucking time ago, and there’s no child or relationship that can change that.”
“Kennedy,” Talon whispers, and instantly, I know what I need to do. I hate it. Every fucking inch of myself was repulsed by this, but I knew.
I pull my phone out and type a text out to Cass.
Me: This weekend, then it’s done. Deal? No fucking invitations. No fucking bullshit.
I snatch the bottle of whiskey from Talon and take a long pull from the rim.
My phone dings.
Cass: Done.
“Fuck.”
Talon looks at my phone and then at my face. “Wait, what did you just do?”
I swallow harshly and throw my phone onto the couch. “Can you and Wolf make it back here this weekend? Without Leila? And can you both keep a fucking secret?”
Talon’s jaw clenches. “Yeah.” He clears his throat. His knuckles turn white from gripping his glass. “Why, Maddox?”
I grit my teeth. “Because I’ll need you to attend my fucking wedding.”
AMETHYST
Jelly Roll’s “Demons” is playing through my surround sound system. It’s wired to every room in the house, including outside. The crew is expected to be here any minute now, and I have just burnt the chicken.
Taking it out from the oven, I’m waving the dishcloth around in an attempt to get rid of the smoke when the doorbell rings.
“Oops.”
I run to the front door, throwing the dishcloth over my shoulder. Swinging it open, my smile is about to break my face.
“Familia!” I put my arms out in front of myself.
Leila launches at me like I haven’t seen her in years and I laugh, squeezing her tightly. “I missed you too!”
Our relationship is still odd, there’s no denying that. We still fight more than we show affection, and I would still kill for her.
Talon snatches me out of Leila’s grip, picking me up into a bear hug. I wrap my arms around his neck.
“Hey, T. I missed you!”
He puts me back down and Wolf takes me under his ar
m, walking me back into the kitchen. I give Liza a quick wave. Poor girl.
“Let me guess, we’re eating take-out tonight?” Talon laughs, putting their bags on the floor.
“You are,” I confirm, showing them into the kitchen. “At least I tried!”
Talon, Liza, and Leila go take in the view in the sitting room, but Wolf follows me into the kitchen.
“How you been, Rosé?”
I pull down some vodka and glasses, putting them on a tray. “How long do you have?” I wink at him. “I’ll always be ok.”
Nirvana’s “Heart-Shaped Box” is now playing. We’re all sitting around in the oversized sitting room, sucking down Chinese take-out and almost an entire bottle of vodka.
“This place is holy shit amazing,” Liza admits, putting her empty box on the small coffee table.
“It is. At first, it was overwhelming, but I’ve decided I’m going to buy it off Elliot and Mom. I’ve sort of fallen in love with it. Obviously, it needs some Amethyst touches, like a skate rink by the pool, but it already feels like home.”
I take a shot of my vodka. “Okay, so seriously, are you guys moving?” I ask Leila. She had said that they were moving away, but didn’t say anything else.
“Yes!” She looks to Wolf, who then looks at me.
“I need to ask you something,” Leila grins, shooting back her drink.
I wait.
“Will you be my maid of honor?”
My heart clenches in excitement. “Oh my God! Of course!” I fly onto her lap and squeeze her. “Holy shit, Lei!” I lean back and touch her cheeks. “Wait! Where’s the ring?” I climb off her and tuck my legs under my butt. She pulls the ring out of her pocket and puts it back onto her finger.
“Tada!”
I gasp.
“It’s beautifully over the top.” I grin, looking at Wolf. “Therefore, it’s perfect. Oh my gosh! It’s going to be the wedding of the century!”