by Amo Jones
Then my heart snaps. My face falls and my blood turns to ice.
Leila clears her throat. “Yes, which is why I knew I had to be careful. Look, I totally understand if—”
“—No!” I shake my head, filling up my shot glass. “Fuck no. I’m totally over all of that shit. I can’t wait! When’s the date? Do we know?”
Hopefully it’ll give me enough time to pull my shit together.
“Six months.”
“Okay.” I should play poker, I could win big with the face I’m pulling right now.
“Hey!” Wolf nudges his head at me. His hair has gotten longer, now hanging around his neck. “Don’t even sweat it. Six months is a long time away.”
“Totally,” I wave them off, swallowing my drink. “A long, loonnngg time away.” Someone should probably cut me off.
“There’s something else,” Talon interjects.
I don’t miss the silent exchange between him and Wolf.
“What is it?” I start filling up all of their shot glasses.
“This weekend… Maddox is getting married.”
The bottle slips between my fingers, splashing over Liza. It feels as though someone has punched me in the gut.
“Shit,” I exclaim, picking up the bottle. “I’m so sorry, Liza.”
“It’s ok!” Liza runs into the kitchen and comes back with a dishcloth.
I’m going to cry.
No, you’re not. You’re going to boss up.
Nope, I’m going to cry.
I can do both because now I’m crying.
I sob, falling back onto my butt. I’ll blame it on the vodka.
Talon wraps his arm around me. “I gotchu, baby girl. It’s going to be ok.”
I know now. Maddox and Amethyst were over for good. I had to close, not just that chapter of my life, but the whole damn book and start on a brand-new novel—hopefully with no typos this time.
AMETHYST
6 Months Later
My eyes ache from the tears they have spilled, my heart is now tarnished by love. Love is supposed to be something that saves the world, but it couldn’t even save me. I swipe the tears off my cheeks.
“I loved him,” I mutter, so softly even though there’s no one here to hear. I hate this place and these walls. “If these walls could talk, would they give away everyone’s secrets?”
Probably not, I think to myself. I stand up on the single bed, looking out the window that demands the freshly mowed meadow. The sign Hickleberry Psychiatric Ward sways with the wind, but it’s okay, because this will be the last time I see it. The last time I see anything.
Everyone thinks I’m crazy, and maybe I am, but that’s because love. I may be crazy, but love drove me there. He’s married.
I hook the rope loop around my head until it’s resting around my neck, and squeeze my eyes closed.
“I love you.”
Then I take the final step off the bed.
“Cut!” Tim, the director yells, pulling off his headphones. “You did well, kid!” I jump down from the step and unhook myself from the rope.
“Thanks, but that was...” I shiver, taking a Styrofoam cup of coffee from my assistant. I blow into the cup.
“Amethyst, I have you scheduled for an interview this weekend with E! Hollywood, if you give me some—”
I shake my head. “No, I can’t. I have my best friend’s wedding this weekend, so I’m heading home. I thought I told you about that?” I say, grabbing my handbag and oversized sunglasses.
The show has really, really kicked off over the last six months. Now I successfully have paparazzo’s camping outside my house. Brilliant.
From being on a TV show.
I’m not Angelina Jolie huge, obviously, but famous enough to gain a lot of attention.
“No, you didn’t,” Alesha says, rubbing her temples. “It’s okay, I’ll clear your schedule this weekend.”
“Thanks,” I smile at her.
Arms wrap around my stomach, kisses pressing to the back of my neck. “Hey, baby, you ready to hit it?” Travis Deshell. My boyfriend-slash-co-worker.
“Yup!” I pop the P, pulling my glasses down over my eyes. We walk out of Studio 32 and head toward his red Ferrari. I sigh in annoyance.
It took me a while to warm up to Travis and his over-the-topness, but in all honesty, because of Leila, I am well acquainted with his breed now.
“Have you packed your bags?” Travis asks, looking at me over his arm.
I nod, drinking my coffee and being careful not to spill it on the upholstery.
“I like the black.” I point to the new leather interior. Travis grins, flooring it onto the 101.
I touch my hair. “Oh, shit!” Pulling the very realistic looking wig off my head, I toss it onto the ground and take my freshly colored pink hair out of the ridiculous knot.
Travis groans. “Babe, I do love the pink, don’t get me wrong, but I dig natural looking girls…you’re twenty-three now. Don’t you think it’s time you go back to a natural color?”
I’m used to Travis’s digs at my appearance. “Baby, you’re so fucking exotic. Ditch the pink hair….if you were just a dress size smaller….babe, should you be eating that? Holy fuck, is that a zit?”
I never understood why he even started dating me if he was going to bitch about changing me. I, on the other hand, didn’t really care. I’m not sure how I feel about Travis, but for now, he keeps my bed warm and the void penetrated—not filled.
I smile. “I’m good. Thanks.”
“Alright, just saying, in the photos this weekend…”
I zone him out, my thoughts now dancing around in all the different scenarios this weekend could bring. The night I found out about Maddox getting married was bad. I drank two other bottles of vodka and ended up in the hospital getting my stomach pumped. I then had alcohol poisoning for the following weeks. Because I was still sick from that night, the weekend of Maddox’s wedding I purchased an ounce of weed and smoked like Cheech and Chong’s long-lost cousin. It wasn’t pretty. I could’ve out-smoked Snoop Dogg. There was crying, Doritos stuck to my hair, and a lot of Lenny Kravitz and Marilyn Manson playing, but eventually, it knocked my ass out. I was thankful for that, at least. From that weekend onwards, I vowed that I wouldn’t give Maddox another thought. He was a married man. Signed, sealed, and fucking delivered. Only, when the nights got cold and loud thunder clapped angrily in the sky, I couldn’t help but curl into a ball in my bed and allow my thoughts to drift off to the bad boy I almost had.
It was hard, losing someone. I don’t mean to death. Death was explainable. Mourning the loss of someone you loved who still lives, is unimaginable pain.
I’m over him now. I’m ready to see him.
We’re boarding the plane when Talon texts me.
My favorite brother: Safe travels, Rosé.
I chuckle. He had changed his name on my phone a while ago, and put My moody brother under Wolf’s name.
Me: Be there soon. Have the Vodka ready.
He texts back instantly.
My favorite brother: You better be joking…
I was. I think.
MADDOX
“Daddy! Nana wants your help with something!” Kennedy yells out from my dad’s study. She’s always called Jessica nana. It doesn’t rub me the wrong way, but I wasn’t sure how Amethyst would warm to it. I knew that she would love Kennedy. Amethyst would make a fucking great mom. It’s just a little messed up. The thought of someone making Amethyst a mom makes me feel feral.
I walk into the study and see Jessica balancing on one of my dad’s office chairs, reaching for one of the books on his shelf.
“What’re you doing?”
She sighs in defeat and jumps off the chair. “I’m trying to get my family album from the top. It has a bunch of old photos in it, but mainly it has a photo of the day Leila and Amethyst met. They were both scolding each other, but you could see how much they were going to get along. It was their first day of college and they
had just met in their dorm. I figured it was a great time to snap a shot.”
My throat swells, but I swallow, knowing Kennedy is in the room.
“Nana, how come I’ve never met Amethyst? Isn’t she my aunt?”
I choke on my spit and jump up on the chair. “I’ll grab it down.” There isn’t a day that passes that I don’t think of her—of course. I fucking watch every episode of that shitty fucking show she’s on.
Four Months Earlier
The front door slamming had me launching out of my bed. I turned the light on and ran down the stairs.
“Oops, did I wake you?” Cassidy stumbled into the kitchen and tossed her house keys onto the counter.
I crossed my arms in front of myself.
Her eyes raked over my body. “Mmmm, all mine.”
Hardly.
“What the fuck time is this, Cass?”
She squinted at the oversized clock that hung on the kitchen wall. “Um, it says four?”
I pushed off the wall and went to the fridge, taking out a chilled bottle of water. I shoved it into her chest. “Drink.” Then I turned, ready to go back to bed when her words faltered my steps.
“Why are you so mean to me? You never used to be this mean in high school!”
I turned to face her. “I’m not a kid anymore, Cass.”
Her shoulders straightened. I knew what was coming. She tucked her freshly cut jaw length hair behind her ear. “Because I’m not her?”
“Shut the fuck up and go to bed.” I didn’t like her talking about Amethyst.
“We don’t even sleep in the same bed! We hardly have sex and when we do, you borderline hurt me! Speaking of connections, the only time we really have had one, Maddox, was after the transplant—then poof! It was like everything shifted and you went back to hating me again.”
I chuckle, walking to her. “Yeah, because I did that for Ken, and I’d do it again and again if I needed to, but let’s get one thing straight…I didn’t want you, Cass. I didn’t. I wanted my kid, but I married you because I thought it was the right thing to do, and yeah, I fucking hurt you during sex, wanna know why?” She gulped, looking up at me. I smirked, leaning into her ear and whispered, “Because I want to fucking kill you, Cass, but it’s the only time I can hurt you without it being abuse.” Then I straightened, pointing to her bedroom. “Leave it at that and go to fucking bed.”
She shook her head. “I deserve more.”
I snort. “That’s pushing it, but sure thing, babe, whatever the fuck you need to tell yourself.”
I walked to the sofa and drop down, squeezing my eyes shut.
“I love you, Maddox. I would do anything for you, for us and our marriage. Everyone knew it was us. We were meant to be together.”
“Says fucking who, Cass?” I yelled, losing my cool and shooting off the sofa. “No one I know would say that! In fact, quite the fucking opposite. Take your ass to fucking bed. Now.”
She finally left, sulking. It’s not that she’s a bad mom. It’s that she can be neglectful at times, and she’s lazy. But she loves Kennedy and spoils her. If anything, she’s a good mom, but the drinking and going out with friends isn’t good. I get that moms need to have a break, but she breaks every fucking night.
I flip on the TV and watch the reruns of Amethyst’s show. Then click on “After Hours with the Cast.” I had never seen that option before, it must’ve been new. I run my fingers through my hair and pushed play.
I shouldn’t have.
Amethyst’s pink hair glosses against the studio lights, her sharp jaw and nose still as perfect as ever. Her blue eyes look into the lens and it’s as though she’s in the room with me right this second. Every fucking beat. The air gets sucked out of me when I see her coworker kiss her on the neck.
“So how long have you and Travis Deshel been an item?”
I launched the remote across the room.
Fuck.
Present
“You’ll meet her tonight!” Jessica says to Kennedy. I snatch the book and jump off the chair.
“Yeah, baby. You’ll love her.”
“Mom said that I won’t.”
I clench my jaw. Your mom doesn’t know shit.
Jessica’s gaze comes to mine, worry lines creasing her forehead.
I lean down to Kennedy and brush her hair away from her face. “Go and help Uncle Tal with the pool.”
“Okay.” She skips out.
I stand, looking at Jessica.
“She’s bringing Travis—” Jessica starts saying, but I cut her off, shoving my hands into my pockets.
“I know,” I answer smoothly, but everything inside of me is roaring to the surface.
“She doesn’t know about you and Cassidy, or anything to do with you.”
“I know,” I repeat because I did know. Leila made sure to rub it in my face every chance she got that Amethyst was over me.
“How is Cassidy?” Jessica asks, leaning on Dad’s office desk. I know she doesn’t actually care, but she’s making it out as if she does.
“Back to doing her own thing.”
“She finally let you go? Even after the suicide attempt?”
I flinch.
“She had no choice.”
“Are you bringing a date?” Jessica counters.
Jesus, it’s like a damn interrogation. Cassidy and I split after that night. Cass was a lot of things, but she knew that we both weren’t happy and agreed. That wasn’t before she tried to OD on pills. She said it was an accident, and I wanted to believe her, because again, she was a great mom and loved Ken, but I knew she loved me too.
“Yes.” Then I turn and leave the office. I didn’t, and I didn’t know that she was bringing fucking Travis or I would have. Now I have about four hours to find a date to this fucking wedding.
It took me thirty-seconds.
AMETHYST
Pulling into the familiar driveway, raw memories flash before my eyes, and every single one of them has one thing in common. Maddox.
God, I really hope he isn’t here.
“You okay, baby?” Travis squeezes my knee. I look at him and smile, even though he’s chewing that gum like his life depends on it.
“Yup.”
I get out of the car, just as Rocky, the sexy driver for Elliot comes out the door.
“Well, hello there.” I wiggle my eyebrows at him. It was just after mid-morning, so if he didn’t catch my flirty tone, he would definitely see the smirk on my lips.
He laughs. “Hello Amethyst, so nice to finally see you again.”
I grin, pulling him in for a hug. Hard muscles, everywhere. Almost as hard as—
Travis clears his throat.
I pull back. “Sorry, Travis, this is Rocky, my mom and Elliot’s driver-guard. Rocky, this is my boyfriend, Travis.”
Rocky gives a curt nod, then clears his throat. “Actually, I’m with Maddox now.”
Travis glares.
“Anyway!” I clap my hands together, ignoring the mention of Maddox. “Where’s the fam?”
Travis and I are walking through the front door when Leila runs toward me at full speed.
I catch her just in time, but we both tumble to the floor. “It’s amusing that even after all this time, you both still can’t behave yourself in public,” Talon chuckles from somewhere.
I squeeze her. “Hey, lover. Wanna get up off me.”
She climbs off and helps me to my feet. “You guys took so long!” she whines.
“Well, sorry to disappoint, but it’s not like we could speed the plane up!” I brush my harem pants down and swipe my hair out of my face. I like to think that my dress style is essentially still the same, much to Travis’s disgust. The harem pants, though, I’ve got nothing. They’re comfortable, so they’re a win.
“Stop wearing those Aladdin pants,” Leila says, hooking her arm in mine. And there she is.
Mom comes around the corner with an apron around her waist. “Hi, honey!” She pulls me in for a hug.
“Fam, this is Travis, Travis, this is Fam. Everyone, be nice…” I smile at Travis.
“No promises…” That voice. It is like a mac truck plows into my chest. I suck in a breath and step aside for Mom to walk to Travis.
My eyes go to Maddox, and another truck slams into me. “Hi.”
Maddox clenches his jaw.
He’s mad.
A tight smile flashes over his face, but his eyes impassively stay on mine. “Hey, Rosé.”
I lick my lips, needing a distraction from the silent room. He looks…well, how he always looks. Seems to have a few new tattoos on his arms and neck, but he’s still delectable. Broad shoulders, a few day’s scruff on his jaw, but not too much. Enough that you can still see his prominent cheekbones and deadly cut of his jawbone. Dressed in a casual Henley and dark jeans, he’s every bit of sexy that I remembered.
This doesn’t help.
My eyes close. This is too much.
“I like your hair!” a little voice says, and my eyes pop open. I look down to the small girl and my heart starts pounding in my chest. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about meeting Kennedy, but, then she smiles up at me and I see Maddox in her.
Instantly, I relax. I kneel down to her level and pull it out of the high ponytail it was in. “Wanna touch it?”
Her lips tug in together and she bobs her head. “Yes please.”
Her hands come to my hair, and everyone around me seems to go back to their chattering. Even if they didn’t, I wouldn’t know, because all I see is her. God, she’s beautiful. Has long dark wavy hair, dark almond shaped eyes and squishy little cheeks. The cheeks must be from her mom, Maddox doesn’t have those cheeks. But she has Maddox’s square-shaped profile and thick dark eyelashes. My eyes drop to her lips. Pouty and pinched cherry. She’s perfection.