by Anjela Day
“Mr. Johnathan is here.” She said walking away, before I could reply.
“What's going on Son?” I asked Johnathan guiding him into my office, ushering the little thug out.
“Son, sit down. I said looking at my future son in law. He was Pre-Med, at Northwestern, head of his class. He was only twenty three years old, and had already mapped his life out. I was hoping that he could do the same with Jade.
“He was just part of the big picture I had been putting together to keep Jade in line. I could see she was her mother child. Quickly spiraling out of control. I was just praying that getting married would be the answer. I hoped it slowed Jade down before she ended up like her mother.
“So is she here?” He asked. I could tell he was just as excited to meet her , as I was for him to see her.
My first thought was Saint. I texted him twice, and he didn't even reply. My hands were shaking so hard
“Daddy,” I cried out for my father, walking into the house. My body was shaking. I hadn't realize the effect that man had over me until I almost wrapped myself around a pole.
“Princess in here” My father called out from his office.
I rushed into his office, trying to get my words together. I didn't care what he an Armstrong had going on, I wanted it ended in this moment. Whatever this man wanted him to pay, he needed to pay. Hell I would pay it from my trust not to have to lay with that man again. I sighed with disgust walking into my fathers office.
“Daddy, I don't know what the hell you and that dirty ass fuckin' – I was halted in my words when I looked up to see a man in my father's office. He was tall and good looking. his dark skin glistened, his white teeth sparkled, and his suit was tailored to fit him like a glove.
“I still couldn't shake the thought that I knew him.
“Well Mr. Lawton, I don't think I was prepared for how beautiful your daughter truly was.” He said in smooth tone. My eye brow shot up as if it was on fire.
It hit me who he was and a chill shot down my spine. Today must have been Friday the 13th the way all of my sexual encounters were popping up, like a bad urban legend.
“Thank you, I said dryly. I looked from him to my father. He was the man from Sparrow, how did he find me? I wondered feeling nervous.
“Jade this is Johnathan Walker, Malcolm's son.” My father said , and I nodded my head to let my father know I was listening.
“It's so nice to meet you Jade.” He said extending his hand to shake mines. Was he pretending he'd never met me? I wondered allowing him to take my hand into his. He lightly kissed my hand, and flashed a perfect set of white teeth.
“Jade, Johnathan I'll leave you two alone, to get acquainted.” My father said grabbing a cigar from his desk, and leaving the room.
An awkwardness filled the room. I was perplexed. Why would my father leave this man in the room with me? I hope he didn't call himself playing match maker. I walked over to the large couch that was in my fathers office.
“Look I'm not trying to be rude –,”
“So don't be.” He said cutting me off. His voice calm but full of friction.
“Excuse me?” I said. My voice raised a little louder than I liked to speak.
“You heard me don't be. I'm not your father. So you will not speak to me any type of way.” He said still standing near the door.
“Well I'm not your bitch, so you won't speak to me at all.” I said standing to my feet so that I could leave. He gripped my arm. Needless to say he'd taken me off guard. His soft brown eyes were no longer, as sweet as they once were. He pulled me close to him.
There was very little space between us. I knew if I breathed I would inhale his nasty spirit. So I held my breath.
“You mean the world to your father. He thinks the sun rises and sets with you. How do you repay him. Whoring yourself for a bottle of Champagne.” He said boldly.
“Excuse me?” I asked sucking my teeth.
“To think your father speaks so highly of you. He lead my family to believe that you were wholesome.” He said as if sunshine an rainbows shot from his ass.
“What you won't do is talk trash to me, like you didn't get on your knees, and lick my ass. Wholesome, I may not be, but you sure thought I was tasty the way you ate my ass like grocery's. I told him pulling away from his grasp. He gripped my wrist just as I'd freed myself.
With his free hand he grabbed my neck, and began to squeeze. My eyes widen in shock. He lifted my body, from the ground all while staring into my eyes. I could feel the breath leave my body, only for a second before he dropped me to the floor. His tall lanky body towered over me. I tried my hardest not to cry. When he lifted my face to look in my eyes.
“You will learn to be respectful to me, even if I have to knock respect into you. I will not allow my future wife to be so outspoken.” He said and my head felt as if it was spinning. His future wife? He had to be crazy.
He squatted down, and leaned in my ear.
“I never want to put my hands on you again. It will not be nice.” He said as if he was whispering a playful joke in my ear. He reached under my arm and pulled me up to my feet.
“Darling, you looked drained. Go get some rest, I'll be back around eight for dinner. We can go anywhere you like.” He said his lips brushing my cheek, as to show affection. I was in the twilight zone, it was official.
That can't be said for others that cross my path. To them I am like a God, more so an assistant, to the grim reaper. I help to those who should die, but are to chicken to do it themselves. It’s not an ideal job, but shit I'm good at it. Fuck it, I’m the greatest. Trust I'm the nigga that the best call when he wants it done right. I remind myself. There was no time to sit around acting as I didn't have real shit to handle.
I stood to my feet and slipped my gun down the waste band of my gray Nike sweats I had on. I grabbed my phone, and dialed my nigga Adonis. They called that nigga Psych for as long as I've known him. He'd like mutha fucka's to think it's was because he was off his rocker. Truthfully the nigga was two crayons short of a full box. That wasn't the reason they'd given him the name truth was, nigga was obsessed with horror movies as a kid. One day he pulled a knife on his mom while she was in the shower like in the movie Psycho. She called him a little Psychopathic and the name stuck.
“Yo,” Psych said into the phone. His voice was low, and distorted.
“Yo ass stay smoking, How will your head ever be clear to get this work?” I asked him.
“My nigga I stay ready so I don't have to get ready.” He said in a cocky unfazed tone.
“Fasho, I'm holding you to that.” I said.
“I would expect nothing less my nigga.” he said.
“Fa sho, I'm on my way my nigga, I just got to swoop up that nigga Daron, and I'll be there.” I said. I then ended the call.
****
A hour later I was laid back in a old school impala. My day one to the right of me, and my brother in the backseat. The heavy smell of weed was starting to fill the car. I was seething with anger.
“Do you know the definition of discreet?” I asked Daron my baby brother. I turned around, and ripped the blunt he'd just lit from his hands. After taking a pull I put it out in the ashtray.
“So you can smoke, but I can't?” Daron asked. He crossed his arms over his chest, and sucked his teeth like a small child.
“D, Whats rule number two?” I asked him referring to the list of rules our father had instilled in us early.
“A clear mind is a sharp mind,” He recited, as if he was reading it from a book. I nodded my head in agreeance. Psych however burst out into laughter.
“ What in the fuck did ya'll father do to yall. You niggas sound like fuckin pod kids. A clear mind is a sharp mind. Nigga fuck outta here,” Psych mocked leaning over, and snatching the blunt from the ashtray.
“Nigga Don't smoke that, Niggas will smell you coming.” I ordered feeling myself become annoyed.
“Nigga we robbing a dope spot, odds are every nigga in that
bitch high. Why in the fuck I have to be sober?” He asked, and I looked at him with one brow raised. This was one of the most ignorant niggas I knew. Had he not been my nigga since we was kids I'd question why I associated with him. Since we were long time friends we were loyal to each other. Hell at times we shared a bond tighter than Daron and I did.
“Ya'll nigga's going to fight back and forth like Ricky, and Lucy, or we doing this?” Daron asked, and he grabbed both me and Psych's attention.
“First who is Ricky, and Lucy? Two nigga all yo ass is doing, is sitting back and making sure no one run up on us while we inside this bitch.” I told Daron, lifting up and handing him my Beretta out of my waist band.
“But Ricky I wanna be in the show.” Daron whined. I laughed because I knew who he was talking about. It was one of moms old black and white shows.
“Nigga don't get killed, I don't wanna have mom's go up against my head.” I told him hopping out of the car. I tossed my hood over my head, and kept my head down.
Psych and I had been hitting traps for the last two years. We were low men on the totem pole. So our jobs were simple. You didn't work for, the Alton's you didn't work. Period . While niggas tried to stay low-key, it didn't last long. The Altons ran the city, so no one did shit in Detroit without them knowing.
Psych, and I had a system he took the back, I went in the front guns blazing. It worked for us. I was teaching Daron since I had been out of state. I needed someone I could trust to feel in get the job done . My father had trained him just as he did me, but truthfully D was hot-headed, and nothing really stuck.
“Let's do this?” Daron said Hyped up. He was so excited to be riding along I couldn't let him go in he was sure to get bodied.
“You stay here.” I said
“What? Nah this my shit now I'm ready.” He replied.
“Here yo ass go trying to run everything. Either you going to kick in traps, or you going to baby sit pretty rich girls you can't have both.” Psych said, and I could hear the jealousy in his tone.
“Nigga this my little brother he fuck up and die my momma kill me. Then My pops kill me then Killa Killa both of us.” I said annoyed I was explain myself. I said I was going in and that was that . I thought to myself pulling my gun from my waist band. I cocked it and handed it to Daron.
Nigga get my six.” I said and he sighed like a bitch.
“Alight” He responded climbing over the seat, as I eased out the door.
“Lets do this “
Psych said standing beside me. He slid his mask over his face. I popped my hood up over my head, and made my way to the door.
I could hear laughter from inside. These niggas had no idea what it took to run a drug house. How the fuck you laughing, when you should be counting bottling or prepping to deliver. This is what made shit easy for us.
I inhaled twice, and when I heard the sound of banging I kicked the door in guns blazing. I watched for Psych. I made sure to keep him in my sight at all times, but everyone else it was fair game. I watched their bodies drop like flies.
“sixty seconds.” Psych yelled out. He was letting me know how long we had to be in and out. I nodded my head, and went right to the refrigerator. They always kept the dope in there. I grabbed what we came for. Just as I as walking away I heard a light whistle followed by a tap then a thud. I looked to my right to see Psych, stumble towards me.
The fuck I said looking behind me to see what should have been my murder face down in his own blood. Damn I was off my game. I thought grabbing the bag of product in one hand, and Psych in the other.
“I got you bro.” I told him making my way to the car.
“The fuck happened?” Daron asked as if he was blind.
“Fuck you think.. Drive.” I said pressing my hand into Psych's shoulder.
“Where, Where do I go?” His voice shaky, and over excited.
“Take us to pop's I ordered. It was the only place I could think of, that we would be safe.
*****
My mother emerged from the back of the house tossing plastic gloves in the trash. Her shirt had dried blood in it., and her face looked as if it had been pained with the same blood.
“He will be fine.” My mom said plopping on the couch beside me.
“Psych or D?” I asked because Daron had been vomiting since we walked theough the door.
“Both , Your dad will take care of D. Adonis, just needs rest. I gave him medication, and stitched him up.
“I guess it's a good thing you used to be a nurse hu.” I said bumping her shoulder.
Crazy but my mother was the only one I could be that relaxed around. I knew my jokes were corny, but she taught me t o tell them to keep people from judging me.
She snickered at my joke then ran her fingers through my hair.
“There getting better/ Your jokes I mean.” She said looking me over, as if she knew something.
“What's her name?” She asked, and I looked away. I kne who and what she was talking about, but I refused to admit I was still thinking about that little girl.
“Karma?” I asked, and she swatted my hand.
“Not yo gun, this one is human. Only thing I can think of that would make you slip up. Yo mind is misplaced.
“Nah no girl.” I told her lying through my teeth,
“Oh you like boys nah?” She asked, and I didn't reply. I just looked at her as if I would kill her.
'Oh that got your attention. Don't try and play me, who is she.” My moma asked, and I rested my head on the back of the couch.
“Ma,, how you know if you miss somebody?” I asked feeling dumb as fuck the second it left my lips.
“What?”
“I mean can I miss someone?” I asked another dumb question realizing why I mostly kept my thoughts to myself.
My mother grabbed my face, and looked at me as if she felt sorry for me. Her face titled, and her eyes filled with sadness.
“Baby, you are just like everyone else. It takes you longer to do somethings, thats's because when you do them, you do them better than anyone else. If you thinking of her. You miss her. You just don't want to act because when you do , you know that's it for you. She will be your world no other woman will do, and that scares you.
She said her hands still on my face. Her thumb caressing my cheek.
“Sean love is a beautiful chaos. It is like molting lava . Reckless and ready and able to destroy all in its path. It's also calm like the ocean. When the to meet it can do one of two things. Suck the air out of everything around it. Or make the most beautiful stone together,” My mother said, and I nodded. She pulled me close to kiss my fore head before releasing me.
“You already love her, baby so asking if you miss her, is a sure indication that you do.. All I am saying is make sure her Lava is not so hot it boils your water rather than crystalline it .
I heard my mother loud and clear. When she spoke it was always in riddles but some how made complete sense.
“I got to go “ I told my mother standing up, and grabbing my keys.
“Tell D I ill handle the last part, just get some rest. I hugged my mother, before walking out the door.
I hated feeling sorry for myself. What did it change? At the end of the day I was still alone, and let down. Everyone failed me.
“I thought as I climbed out of my car, and walked into the dress shop.
Madam was one of the best dress makers in Chicago. She used to make my mothers dress's many years ago. In fact she made the dress my mom wore when she won Miss Illinois. The picture still hung in Madams shop.
I was getting a dress made almost identical to my mothers.
I had designed my gown for almost a year, and Madam was bringing it to life.
“How is my Jade?” She asked hugging me.
“I just wanted to drop off the don payment.” I told her return a peek to the cheek.
“Hi Jade.” Camilla said easing from the back of the shop.
“Thank you Grand ma, she said kissing madam
on the cheek. On God I felt as if this bitch was baiting me. Trying to get me to slap her. I was well aware that she and Madam were family. That didn't change the fact that busines was business and I needed her to make my dress to win. I exhaled, and sucked my teeth watching Camilla walk by.
“Oh you girls save it for the stage.” Madam said hitting my shoulder. I handed her the envelope with cash, and she waved me to the back.
The sound of my phone buzzing paused me in my steps. Another text from Saint. Fuck him. I thought rolling my eyes as I read the text,
“I need to know your location. ~Saint”
Why the fuck did he care. He didn't need to know it when Armstong was raping me. Or Jonathan was beating my ass. Some body guard I thought slipping my phone back in the pocket.
I walked in the back to see my dress, and almost cried. It was everything I ever wanted. I thought staring at it.
Annoyed my phone ringing had pulled me from my trance.
“What Saint?”I yelled into the phone answering on the second ring
“Who is Saint? Learn some respect before I teach you some.” Johnathan said. My stomach knotted up with thoughts of the last week with him. If he brought up that make believe wedding one more time I was going to scream.
All I needed was to turn 19 and it was pass go collect a million dollars, and live your life.. I told myself every time I talked to him. I also reminded myself to talk to my father. He needed to know that a man he had chosen for me was hurting me. He needed to know that I was not marrying some man, so he could feel safe.
I didn't need a man I was fine. I told myself.
“Jade do you hear me?” Johnathan asked I jumped. I had forgotten he was on the phone.
“Dinner with my parents tonight.” He ordered.
“I can't I have plans.” I told him Lifting my dress in my hand to touch it one last time before I left.
“I wasn't asking 7 o colock, and wear somethings presentable. “
“I'm busy.” I said again. I could hear him get frustrated .
“Listen I don't fuckin care. When I tell you to be somewhere you be there.” He said almost out of breath.