by Anjela Day
“Here taste.” She said holding the spoon to my mouth.” I just shook my head as if I disagreed.
“Please” she begged like a child.
“You're used to getting what you want.” I said giving in and eating the spoon full of food.
“You want to talk about why you were –
“Oh food” She shouted cutting me off. Her eyes shifted from me to the food.
****
We made it back to her room. I walked her to the door.
“Can you stay?” She asked. I knew I should say no. I mean I was being paid to protect her not fuck her. Was I crazy? I thought stepping into the room, and sitting in the chair at the table.
“You don't have to sit over there all alone.” She said patting the bed. Her voice was seductive.
“Nah I'm good” I said leaning backward in the chair.
“I'd feel better if you were over here.” She said standing up and walking over to me. She gripped my hand, and pulled me out of the chair.
“I'm not going to bite you.” She said pulling me on the bed. She slipped on my lap and straddled my lap.
“Unless you like to be bit.” She purred like a cat. My dick was throbbing. I stared at her seeing the lost little girl she was hiding behind that insecurity. Her plump but small lips were poked out, and I wanted to take them in my mouth and kiss her hard, and fuck her slow. That's not what she needed neither of us needed.
I exhaled deeply. This was about to become more than a job. I thought breathing in and out to keep my stiffness at bay.
“You can touch me it's ok.” She said her lips brushing my neck. I lifted her off of my lap and slammed her to the bed.
“You don't have to do that.” I told her
The look of shock filled her face. It was followed by shame.
“What! Am I not good enough!” She yelled.
“What do you want that waitress you couldn't stop staring at? You probably like that fake ass , long nail ghetto girl. You couldn't handle me any way.” She said pushing me to the floor.
“What?,” I asked her confused. I stood up, then lifted her into my arms. I wasn't expecting her to go limp as I restrained her. Her body fell into mines. Right before she started to sob.
“touch me. She begged, but I wouldn't I eased myself into the bed, and lied her on top of me.
Jade didn't say anything the entire ride back to her house. That was fine with me because I really had nothing to say to her. The sound of my phone was the first thing I'd heard since we'd gotten in the car.
“What up.” I said looking from my phone to the road. I didn't need to look at Jade to know she was staring at me. Watching every word that I spoke.
“Yeah I can handle that.” I told my brother Daron. I ended the call looking at Jade. She was pretending she wasn't all in my phone call. I pulled up at Jades house, and parked.
You good? I asked her in my head. I wanted to make sure she would be ok. I felt like I was fighting demons. Never in life had I wanted to reach out to someone and make sure they were ok.
“Can you not tell my dad?” She finally said.
“Tell him what?” I said looking away to let her know I was no snitch.
“You don't talk much? Do you?” She asked reaching out to touch my face. I moved my head not to allow her to touch me.
“Look I put my number in your phone. Hit me up if you need me.” I told her. She stared at me a second before she opened the door, and slid out of my car.
Saint tainted my mind like venom. He was all I thought of . I could still smell him on my clothing. It was the first time in my life I allowed myself to linger in day old clothing.
I laid in my bed my phone in my hand staring at his number. It was the only 313 area code in my phone. 313 that's Michigan I think. I said running my finger over his number when my phone rang.
“Hello. I said to Armstrong.
“Meet me at the coffee shop.” He said belting a order out.
“No” I said sternly. I was done.
“No, I'm not your father. You don't want to know what I'm capable of. Meet me at the coffee shop.” He aid and I laughed.
“I said no, but do what you need to.” I told him ending the call.
I wasn't worried about him. After being in Saint's arms I knew it was nothing he wouldn't protect me from.
It was crazy how my mind went right back to him. I just wanted to lay in his arms forever. I thought staring at his number until I fell a sleep
*******
A huge sigh left my mouth. I could feel myself start to get pissed off. I tapped my nails on the arm of the chair to ease the stress. I was ready to rip a bitch a new ass. Although I knew I had to keep my composer. There's a time and place for everything. Now was not the time, and the United center was damn sure not the place. I reminded myself smoothing down my dress, before I take my seat.
“Diva .” Was shouted from a cross the room, and I started to grind my teeth. I hated when people acted so Ghetto. I
I saw Creation and Camilla sit down, however my eyes were still focused on the bitch a cross from me. Since I'd walked in the Arena she'd been gawking her little beady eyes at me. My first thought was that she saw me as computation and she was just checking me out. Rightfully so I was the one to beat. Honestly I knew the truth Olivia was a jealous bitch, wanted nothing but to see beat me, at anything.
“Bitch what's going on?” Cree asked her eyes following my gaze.”
“Girl fuck her” Cree said, and I eased back in my seat, to listen as the host of the pageant began to speak.
“Girl she just jealous of you. She was so mad at you the other night, she wouldn't even bring me today. I had catch a ride with Cree, and her mom.” Camilla said cutting her eyes at Olivia. Whatever, I thought to myself. Camilla was as two faced as I'd seen. Just a couple nights ago now she w ants me to just believe that her and Olivia were no longer friends. Did this hoe think I had fool on my forehead? I thought giving a half smile, and nodding at her words.
“You guys wanna get coffee after we leave?” Cree asked, and it was as if she was reading my mind.
“Yeah I have to go change cars, then I can pick you guys up. If you want that.” I said in desperate need of talking to someone.
Two hours of long winded socialites talking about their hay day, and finally they released me.
“I'll meet y'all at Cree house.” I told Camilla, and Creation, before rushing to my car. I could feel eyes on me , as I slipped inside my car, trying not to seem paranoid.
“Where are you off to?” He startled me as I closed the door. I could feel my blood start to boil, just looking at him. I grabbed hold to my hand, trying to stop them from shaking. Damn he made me nervous, and not in a good way.
“Are you following me?” I asked looking up at Armstrong. He was leaned against my car door.
“I don't have to follow you, I know your every move.” He said ripping me from the car.
“Didn't you get the text that I wanted to see you?” He asked holding my wrist so tight my skin went from a warm caramel to a burnt orange.
“I did, I told you that was a one time thing! I don't know what you and my father are into, but I won't be the pawn.” I said pulling my arm away.
“Jade you good?” I hear Cree, ask walking towards me.“I'm fine—I start to say, and Armstrong lifts his badge.
“This is police business, please step back.”
He said putting his badge back in his back pocket and pushing me against the car. He pressed his body against mine, forcing me to spread my arms. His thick hands traced my frame. Making sure that he violated me. His fingers roamed me from head to toe. His stiffness pressed against my ass. I could feel his heart began to race, and his package throb. I was so embarrassed as Cree watched him twist my arms around my back. He pulled me off the car, and forced my body to brush against his stiffness forcefully.
“Do you understand, what I'm saying?” He asked, and I grit my teeth, and nodded my head yes. I felt him release my h
and, before he walked away.
“Jay –
I'm good Cree, I need a rain check.” I told her slipping into my car, and slamming the door. I started my car, and quickly pulled off before I allowed the tears to fall down my face. '
a sharp pain filled my gut, and I thought of crashing my car into the wall. Pressing down on the gas I closed my eyes praying for death.
My head was not in the right mind state. Killa had called me home to do a hit. A hit that he said just couldn't wait. I just wish my mind wasn't so hung up on Jade. I told myself that she was a job. I reminded myself that I was only thinking about protecting her. That I just wanted to keep her safe. When truthfully all I could think of is the way she smelt like the fresh flowers my mamma always had on her table. Or the way her eyes sparkled liked diamonds. Even in this very moment I was thinking of the way she balled into me. Her warm body up against mines as if she belonged there. I grit my teeth and pulled myself out of my thoughts just in time to look at this clown ass nigga.
I thought looking up to see him.
These thirsty ass little niggas. Up in this boy looking foolish. Standing in front of a stage tossing dollar bills at hoes they didn't have a chance of hitting. all for what? For little niggas that can't even afford to pay attention to think they were heavy in these streets. So broke niggas to geek them up? egg em' on? That's that homo shit that these little niggas were on Now-a-days. I wasn't tossing shit at no bitch. For what so that hoe to run take that cash to the next nigga to pop bottles. This shit was dumb as fuck to me. These niggas chose to spend their days and nights tricking off cash they didn't have. That was that dumb shit that just plain annoyed me. That and overly confident ass mutha fuckas. I laid back in my seat watching this Look at this bum ass nigga sitting in the back of the bar with hoes around him for no good reason. loud, and calling attention to himself just because he could. All those bottles for who, hoes he wasn't fuckin and nigga's who didn't have two dimes to rub together. he was flashy for no reason. I despised shit like that. I thought to myself taking a sip from my glass.
Smug ass bastard I should drop his ass right where he sitting. Young ass is a waste of fuckin breath. I said slouching down in my seat. I lifted my glass to my lips took a sip of the smooth cognac. this glass was the only thing between me and youngin. It was times like this I hated that I loved my job so much. It was almost sinful that I enjoyed the kill. Some niggas just deserved to die. I said looking in the direction of Daylin Stevens. He was a nigga that considered himself to be heavy in the game. Shit, I was confused on how. Boy was still working on consignment. How can you ever be considered a boss, and taken seriously and you still need someone to front you work to flip.
This nigga needed to be bodied just on the strength that he was a waste of life. Then the Nigga got the nerve to be cocky! I laughed to myself just laying in the cut watching his ass. He was posted up in VIP With roughly twenty people around him. While he laid back in flashy ass jewelry clothes and even a pair of three thousand dollar glasses. I hated flamboyant ass niggas.
I thought to myself. Just watching this fool toss twenty's at the bitch on stage. knowing he owed my boss over twenty-five racks. The hell was wrong with niggas?"
"Yo bro, what's good." My baby brother Daron asked easing into my booth. I'd been at Top heavy for the last hour, and hear this boy was just making his way into my section.
"You good?" Daron asked looking at my glass, before taking it to his hand. he lifted it in the air and held two fingers up to let the waitress know his request.
"Nigga you can't handle what I drink," I tell him I mean I was as arrogant as they came. although everything I did I had reasoning behind. I knew I was the nigga, I didn't need validation from a bitch to know who the fuck I was. Shit I've always been an exceptional nigga from my calm mannerisms to just how I excelled at whatever I did. I can't recall ever not being the best. Hell Pop's started calling me Sure Shot at fifteen. No explanation truly needed. I have been in the murder game since before I knew what it was. dropped more bodies than the lord should allow, Yet and still, I never felt as if I had to prove myself by blowing cash I didn't have.
"That the nigga Bro?" Daron asked in a whisper, and I looked up at him with a disapproving scowl on my face.
"Nigga really I asked looking from Daylin to my brother.
"What I do Daron asked taking the two glasses from the waitress and tossing a fifty dollar bill on his tray.
"Can I dance for you daddy?" She purred, at Daron further annoying me.
"Bruh," I said feeling blood start to boil. Daron pulled a few bills from his pocket, and I snatched the cash from him.
"You bout to do this here? he asked
"Yes," I said pissed that I had to even make him aware of the situation.
Daron was on some dumb nigga type shit. he was acting as if he didn't know why I was here, and to be somethings were just not asked. I thought about taking the glass from the table and sipping it slowly. The bitch on Daron's lap was swaying her hips to the beat of the music. her thick frame had my brother lost in a trance. "D, you got a clear mind?" I asked him the moment Daylin stood to his feet.
“Shit I should ask you lately you been in your own world.
“Nigga I'm always on point worry about yo ass.” I told him with a raised eyebrow
"No doubt bro I got this." My brother assured me pulling more bills and slipping them in the waist band of the bitch on his lap. I stood to my feet and made my move. I tossed my hoodie over my head and eased into the bathroom behind Daylin.
"It was only a matter of time before the nigga would have to piss. The way he poppin' bottles and tossing drinks back. I was surprised it took so long.
"I walked over to the urinal and began to relieve myself as well. I drained the couple of drinks I had consumed and started to the sink.
"Boy was staggering. he nearly made it to wash his hands. He turned the water on and splashed hand fulls at a time on his face.
"Damn he was making this shit too easy.
I bent down and retrieved the knife from my shoe. I hated to draw attention if I didn't have to.
"I know you?" I asked knowing he'd never laid eyes on me. I made sure to keep a low profile when it came to the shit I did.
"Nah little homie you don't know me." The cocky nigga said, acting as if he was some sort of Giant. Nigga called me little we were damn near the same hight. Shit, he couldn't be taller than 6'2 I thought to myself easing over to the sink.
"Yo, you Daylin, Twan boy. I said acting as if I were excited.
"Yeah, that was my nigga, God rest his soul," Daylin said, sounding almost remorseful.
"Maybe you should pray for ya'self." I warned him.
"What he asked turning to look at me before he could face me I slit his neck from ear to ear. Daylin looked up at me in confusion. his eyes widened as if they were pleading to live. his body stiffened before he fell forward.
I exhaled, a deep breath knowing that I had completed yet another job.
I dragged the flashy nigga into the bathroom stall and sat him on the toilet. I proceeded to snatch the Cuban link chain off his neck before I cut his right pinky finger off. Those were the two things required for payment.
I wrapped the bloody finger in a paper towel before placing it in my pocket.
I then washed my knife, hands, and face.
It was in that moment I wished I felt an ounce of remorse. I wish that I knew how to feel sad for the nigga. I didn't even think twice. I just made my way back to the table.
Daron was sipping on what looked like his third drink and had a blunt to his lips.
I quickly wondered if we were raised in the same household. My brother and I were nothing alike. While he was flamboyant, smooth, and smart. I was low key, sneaky, and cunning.
"You wanna hit?" Daron asked holding the blunt out as he exhaled a mouth full of smoke.
"Nah I'm good," I said waving him off.
"You always so fuckin professional. Why don't you live before
Karma come back around and kill you for all? I slammed my brothers head to the table before he could finish his statement.
"He was drunk, and I knew Daron got into his feelings when he was intoxicated.
"You sayin' shit that will get you bodied. Please don't make me have to buy our mother that black dress." I told him pressing my hand under his arm to stand him up.
"You've had enough. I told him. I didn't care how he felt. It was time we got the fuck out this bitch before the police flooded it.
"Nah nigga fuck you.
"Daron said getting loud. I twisted his arm behind his back and forced him to walk. his tall bony ass wobbled from side to side causing people to look at us. I held my head down, in hopes that we weren't seen.
I hated when people noticed me. Daron was being messy, and I was seconds away from forgetting he was my brother.
Once we got outside I dug in Daron's pocket and grabbed his keys.
"You can not leave yo car here, it's about to b flooded wit dem boys." I remind my brother why I was here.
"Nigga I know we good," Daron said laughing
". I'm good bro, Shit if we on camera it just looks like you walked yo drunk brother to his car.” Daron said. I knew he was trying to be helpful, but some times he over thought shit. I waited to D was in his car, before I pulled off.
I had to get back to Illinois.
“I'm confused Killa sent you here to protect my daughter, then he calls you back? Help me to understand who you work for.” I said to the cocky mutha fucka leaned against the wall. I hated how he just stood looking at me as if he'd gone deaf.
“Ok are you back to do your job, or do I need to find someone better qualified?” I asked him, and his head jerked back as if I'd insulted him.
“Listen you think some one can do my job better find them.” He said pulling his phone out and reading a text.
“Look I need to go, let Killa know if you still need me. He said sounding way to confident for my liking.
He stood up, and walked toward the door, just as Carmen walked in.
“Mr. Dontay, she said once again her voice filled with Judgment. I looked down at the old southern woman.