Wants of the Silent

by McPartlin, Moira;

  ‘I thought he was dead.’ Her hand shook as she swiped the offending tear. ‘I received instructions through the Military channel, followed by another, an encrypted instruction through an unfamiliar channel to get us past the guard. I’d no reason to doubt it. Why would I? It contained our secret word. It all made sense. He’d mumbled for weeks about a catastrophic change.’

  A ‘catastrophic change’. Yes, those were the words Pa used on our last trip away, just before Ma died.

  Merj moved into the room from his shadow corner. ‘Are we ready to try this again?’

  ‘Aye, let’s get going.’

  ‘Dawdle!’ Ishbel rose to her feet but still seemed small.

  ‘Sorry Ish, but come on… it’s a holo fur snaf sake. Could’ve been captured years ago.’

  Merj placed the holo back into our centre.

  Pa’s dark clean shaven looks had been replaced by a ravaged face etched with pain lines, his hair faded. He’d changed but it was definitely him, only cored. I felt a knot in my throat start to strangle. I coughed.

  ‘Why did you leave me?’ I whispered.

  ‘It’s a holo, he can’t hear,’ Merj said.

  ‘I’m not an idiot.’

  When Pa’s mouth began to move we all looked at each other. Merj did some adjusting with a remote.

  ‘Wrong wave.’

  Pa’s voice boomed in the room. ‘…until I established an army. Once my son delivered the plug-in to Black Rock, his work was done.’

  ‘I came to get you,’ Merj said.

  ‘Liar,’ I hissed.

  ‘The revolutionary army of Vanora have been ineffectual. By joining forces with the Noiri and Blue Pearl, the revolutionary capabilities will be enough to overpower the Capital and take the main prize of all Esperaneo. My commanders are already in place in Freedom. Part of the Noiri network has transferred to my command. Ladies and gentlemen, we either join to fight our mutual enemy or we fight each other and let the State win. My commanders will explain to you my plan. We must be ready to mobilise before next quarter; before the Purists take power and force some of our allies in the Land Reclaimist Party into Exile.’

  Merj tapped the communicator and the screen vanished.

  ‘No,’ I said, amazed at how calm I now felt. ‘Let him show himself. Where is he? Why a holo? If he wants them to help, why a holo?’ I looked at Merj. ‘Your reader, who were you talking to?’

  I grabbed Merj’s communicator wrist. ‘Send him a message. Get him to come.’

  Merj shook me off and unclipped the reader from his belt again and before he handed it to me he keyed it.

  ‘Here. Ask him yourself, it works sometimes on handheld.’

  The screen fractured then joined, more snow then it cleared and there he was smiling at me. The dial told me it was real time.

  ‘Look at you – so grown up,’ he said.

  ‘Pa,’ the word choked.

  ‘Sorlie, I’m so sorry. I had no choice.’ I looked at Merj. ‘This is a trick, a recording like the other.’ Merj shrugged. ‘Ask him a question then.’

  ‘Where are you?’ Pa looked behind him. It was dark, faint candle light flickered in the background.

  ‘It doesn’t matter.’

  ‘Why aren’t you here in person?

  ‘I wish I could be but I can’t.’

  ‘Why? Why did you leave me?’

  ‘I had no choice.’

  I wanted to throw the reader to the wall. ‘Answer me. This is computer-generated isn’t it? Not real.’ We held each other’s stare. He wasn’t real. ‘You’re dead.’ I bawled. He jerked back as my words slapped him. The face of my father faltered, and then I saw something I recognised behind him.

  ‘Ask me anything…’ I heard him say, but this time I did throw the reader to smash against the wall. I ran from the room.

  I sprinted down the corridor, adrenaline burning off the sedative as I went. Past my cell to the large shutter door at the end. Scud was behind me. My fingers grabbed the bottom and strained. He helped and together it moved enough for me to crawl under. Scud groaned and struggled to follow. The ante-room was empty of outdoor gear. I didn’t care. I yanked open the outer door, ready for it to be whipped from my grasp. How many times had I left this way with Ridgeway to search for the corncrake and Kenneth?

  The stone steps were as slippery as I remembered but I slithered down them uncaring of the sheer neck-breaking drop beside me.

  ‘Take care.’ I heard Scud call from the top step.

  I flew down the path, over culverts and rushing white water as I had done on my first trip out the prison. Wind and rain slashed my face, soaked my hair and clothes. The mist was low. I couldn’t see far in front but I knew the way. My feet squelched. He was in the cave. I saw it, behind his worried face, the paintings on the wall. The ones Kenneth had created in his many lonely years here. He was in the cave. ‘He’s in the cave.’ My feet beat time to the words. ‘He’s in the cave.’

  Kenneth’s arrow marker was still wedged into a cairn at the path junction. I scrappled down the steep slope. The sea was obscured by mist that rolled right down to the waves. I landed badly at the bottom and twisted my ankle. My ribs reminded me of my earlier crash. I rushed into the cave.

  He wasn’t there.

  ‘Sorry’ the note said.

  The cave reeked of the loss of him. And still warm with the heat from Kenneth’s nuclear battery heater, the flex unravelled since he had last been here. I ran outside. And heard the clank of boat engine disappearing into the distance.

  ‘Pa!’ I screamed. But knew he was gone. ‘Why?’ I hollered into the mist, hoping he would hear. He knew I was coming and left me again. Too embarrassed to face me.

  ‘Sorry.’ One solitary word written on a torn piece of plastic with some of Kenneth’s homemade paints. I rubbed the plastic between my finger and thumb. Familiar and unnerving. It couldn’t be. I licked my lips and tasted salt. I turned the note over and felt my heart shatter in my chest. The flip side was green, with a tiny corner of white. The distinctive livery was unmistakable. Steadie. No way would Kenneth have owned this when he lived here. Pa must have brought it with him. I folded it up and stowed it safe inside my overalls. Before I prepared to hobble back I rewound the battery flex and put everything right, it was the least I could do for poor Kenneth.

  As fast as my twisted ankle allowed, I negotiated the climb on the uneven path. I was already soaked, I didn’t want to risk the hypothermia card.

  When I re-entered the prison, up the soapy steps and into the ante-chamber, I was not surprised to find Scud waiting for me.

  ‘Sorry pal, nae hot shower this time but ah found you some dry gear.’ He handed over an old pair of my prison overalls. They pinched at the waist and shoulder seams now. They sure fattened me up in Steadie.

  ‘Find him?’ Scud asked.

  ‘No, he’d just left.’

  ‘Uh huh, there’ll be a reason.’

  ‘He could have waited. He could have sent a signal.’

  Scud slung an arm round my shoulder, something he’d never have been permitted to do in the time when I was pure Privileged and he was my native.

  ‘There will be a reason, Sorlie, trust me. No man leaves his family without a reason.’

  ‘Even when he’s The Prince?’ My head was bursting. How could it be Pa?

  Scud led me through to the library where all were assembled with the exception of Kenneth.

  Vanora was ensconced back in her chair, her face looking pasty against the strong red of her suit. Her skull strained against the skin, pushing her contours into dark relief. And she clasped her hands so tightly together her knuckles threatened to pop. Merj shadowed beside the oak door, one arm perched on an empty book shelf. Ishbel stood beside Dawdle as if they had at last made a truce. Monsieur Jacques sat by the fire cradling a goblet of Mash. They
looked as if some great games master had arranged them in their corners ready for a play-off.

  ‘Find him?’ Merj asked with a straight face but I detected a smirk hovering just below the surface. Or maybe I’m just paranoid. This place did that to me.

  ‘We’ve studied the very impressive plan The Prince sent out with the holo.’ Merj went on adopting a grating teacher tone. ‘And everyone is clear on their position, I believe.’ Hamming it to the max. ‘Jacques and Vanora have agreed to the terms.’ Vanora sniffed at her former lieutenant’s words. Merj whirled on her. ‘Yes? No?’ She lowered her head in a nod or was it a bow, but looked far from happy.

  ‘Vanora, Ishbel, Kenneth and Scud are to return to Freedom to prepare for the northern assault.’

  ‘Not Kenneth,’ Vanora said, her hands tightening.

  ‘He will be restrained. The Blue Pearl Commanders are in place there to help.’ Merj was enjoying this.

  ‘Jacques and Dawdle will mobilise their oligopolitical operations in Major…’

  ‘We prefer tae call thum Ligos,’ Dawdle quipped.

  ‘As you wish. And Sorlie…’

  ‘I’m going to Steadie.’

  ‘What?’ both Vanora and Ishbel sync’d.

  ‘I’m going to Steadie.’

  If he was taken aback Merj didn’t show it. ‘May I ask why?’

  ‘Because I say so. I haven’t agreed to The Prince’s terms. Anyway, it’s where he’s headed, I’m sure. Pa will be in Steadie. ’ Even as I said it I still couldn’t get my head round the fact it was Pa and he was alive. The Prince was still a myth, another being. ‘If he can’t hang around to tell us his plan himself, why should we comply?’

  ‘The Prince has instructed you be taken to a safe house.’

  ‘Well I’m not going. And if he doesn’t like that, well – tough.’ As I spoke I noticed Vanora grow more uncomfortable. She had given in so easily. ‘I choose to return to Steadie, end of story.’

  ‘How…?’

  ‘Dawdle can drop me off.’

  ‘Heh, heh, ah might be headed the other way.’

  ‘But you’re not and you know it. You have some precious salvage to check up on.’

  Dawdle gave a shuftie to Jacques. Did he know about the tower?

  ‘You can’t go on your own,’ Ishbel said.

  ‘He’s not. Ah’m going too.’ Scud had never left my side throughout this exchange. ‘And when ah’m finished there ah’m coming back here. Sorry Ishbel but ah should never have left.’

  ‘That is not in The Prince’s plan,’ Merj said in a jobsworth’s voice.

  Scud stepped up to Merj trying to look tall but only reaching his shoulders.

  ‘Listen pal, who put you in charge? As Sorlie says, if your Prince cannae be bothered tae come speak tae us in person but send some minion tae dae his bidding, why should we follow his plan? Ah never signed up tae this.’ Even though Scud’s appearance had been altered, that sinister something I first spotted in him while he was my native in this prison rose to the surface and no amount of dilution could wash that menace out.

  Merj bristled. ‘Scud, you’re of great value to the State. We can’t allow you to just wander around.’

  ‘Listen son, there’s plenty others wandering around out there. They’re just as valuable. Ah’ll be safe with young Sorlie here.’ He lifted his finger and stabbed Merj in his chest. ‘And if what ah hear is right, this Steadie is one of the safest places in the State.’

  ‘Reinya’s there,’ Ishbel’s voice was small, as if she didn’t want Scud to hear. His face flushed with shock.

  ‘You should have told me, lass. Ah assumed you got her tae Freedom.’ His voice low, almost a whisper, but the words clear.

  Ishbel put her head down. ‘I was going to. I just wanted to see how this played out first.’

  Scud turned around to face me and tapped his finger to his nose. Sorted. No one was going to argue with this wiry wee man again.

  As we made our way down to the jetty Scud said, ‘Ah’m looking forward to seeing your pa again.’

  ‘You know him?’

  ‘Aye, your pa was one o’ my students. A great historian he was before he joined the Military. Maybe that’s what made him join. He knew history was the key. He’s learned what works and what fails. He’ll make a great leader.’

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me you knew him? All those months, in there, together, you never said.’

  ‘Aw son, we both thought he was dead. Why rub salt in already weeping wounds?’

  Ishbel walked down to the jetty with us. Suddenly Black Rock felt like the safest place in Esperaneo. We had retrieved our waterproofs from the guide but had abandoned the buggy, choosing to walk, crouched against the driving wind and rain coming off the sea.

  Dawdle helped Scud into the sub first. He seemed quite jolly about Scud coming with us. ‘Better disembarkation this time eh?’ he said. ‘And ye’ll see yer wee lassie again. That’s nice.’

  Ishbel put a formal hand out to me, we shook as if we were equal strangers.

  ‘I didn’t know, Sorlie.’

  ‘It’s OK, Ishbel, I was upset.’

  ‘Come back to Freedom once you’ve found him. We need you there.’

  I nodded. She let go my hand and turned to Dawdle. If I’d counted the seconds of their silence I’d have lost count.

  ‘Be careful Ishbel,’ Dawdle broke first. There was a smile on his face. He held his arms out but when she didn’t move he sort of flapped them to slap his sides in helplessness. He held out one hand, she hesitated then took it. He began to pull her closer but she broke free. Her face was soaked with rain, but when she flicked a look my way her stone expression melted momentarily. ‘Take care,’ she said to Dawdle. ‘See you soon.’

  ‘Take care, see you soon,’ he repeated. ‘That’s good enough fur me.’

  The Reunion

  Dawdle tried to give Scud a sedative before submerging, to stop the pain in his ear, but Scud waved him away.

  ‘The souterrain dwellers inserted a grommet while ah was being repaired.’ He bit his lip and I could see the whites of his eyes. ‘Ah want tae try it, see if it really works.’

  ‘OK. Let’s go then,’ Dawdle said.

  Scud sat in the corner biting his nails. I still couldn’t quite get over the change in him. The last time I saw him he had morphed from native to Privileged, his stature, manner and even his voice had changed. Although he looked Privileged with his brown hair and walnut eyes, he was regaining his old mannerisms, and his speech was slipping back to the old Scud. It was good to have him back. As if he sensed my scrutiny he looked up and smiled and I saw his teeth were still broken and crooked. He tapped his nose. Sweat pricked his brow. I could feel the pressure in my ears so I yawned to make them pop. Scud put his hands up to his. He closed his eyes and began to mutter something under his breath. I couldn’t hear what, perhaps one of those old prayer things folk used to chant. The engine chuntered then levelled to a thrum. Scud lowered his hands and grinned again. It had worked.

  ‘This is going tae make such a difference tae our cause. Every native prisoner will have the chance tae be fixed of this affliction.’

  Dawdle’s eyebrow shot up in question. ‘Have they patented it?’ His expression twisted in calculation.

  Scud chuckled. ‘Well if they haven’t ah’m sure someone will make a profit from it. Eh, Dawdle? It’s the way things have worked since the beginning of mankind.’ Scud shifted and stretched his legs in front of him. ‘Who’d have thought things would have turned round like this,’ he said to me. ‘The last time ah saw you we were all thinking Vanora would save the world.’

  ‘My grandfather knew. Even in his own madness, he said I was going out of the frying pan into the fire. He knew how mad Vanora was.’ That may have been disloyal but as the words fell from my mouth a thought came to me. ‘Scud, what if
there’s more of their genes in me than I want? I might be mad. I certainly feel like it sometimes.’

  Scud shook his head, his solemn eyes to the floor. ‘You don’t understand. What they went through, that generation, my generation – the purge, the murders, the Separation of the Classes. The whole fabric of our society changed. It drove many mad. Your generation don’t know anything else. Which is why you can take us forward into the revolution.’

  ‘Is it a revolution?’ I thought of all my taught history, the failed ancient revolutions of the past.

  ‘Aye wee man, there’s gonna be a revolution and you’re right in the midst of it.’

  If Scud had told me this on the first day we met I would have laughed, but now I knew more truth than I cared for.

  Dawdle was mostly silent on our stop-start journey in the Peedle heap of junk. Scud told me a little about his family, his history. About Reinya and what had happened to them after he and Ishbel had left Black Rock together. The souterrain place sounded safe, almost as safe as Steadie. There was so much more to natives. Being brought up as a Privileged military kid, I knew nothing of them. They were just there to make my life easier. If all Privileged kids got to know their natives, surely they would want to help us change the system. A revolution Scud called it. Maybe he was right. The prospect of such a thing whizzed my head as we trundled toward Steadie.

  ‘Dawdle, do you know if Steadie have access to FuB?’ The State database may be useless but it might have some information on past revolutions. As if reading my mind, Scud shook his head.

  ‘This isn’t something you learn from books, wee man. But as ah say, yer pa’ll know. He’s a great military man as well as a great scholar. Just the man you need tae lead you.’ Scud’s face beamed with hope. ‘This will be a fine and just revolution with your pa at the helm.’ He stared into the distance. ‘The trail o’ tears is about tae end.’

  A knot formed in my stomach at all this talk of Pa, the great saviour of the people. None of it was real. ‘It’s not really him. It’s a trick.’