Life After Yes

by Aidan Donnelley Rowley

  And Quinn. First of all, I adore the name. Plain and simple. I would have saved it for a child of mine, but decided that an Aidan having a baby Quinn would be like Brad having a baby Pitt. I purposefully picked a name that was traditionally male, and contemporarily unisex, because Quinn is a tough woman in what is still in many ways a man’s world. The name Quinn is also important because it is Quinn’s mother’s maiden name and Quinn and her mother argue throughout the story about feminist expectations.

  I am a deep believer in the importance and power of names. Names are not just what people call us. They are how we see our selves, realize ourselves, and interact with the world. I went back and forth about what name I would publish under. For me, this was a hugely important question. Ultimately, I decided to publish under Aidan Donnelley Rowley. Given name. Maiden name. Married name. This name is long and unwieldy and not the book editor’s dream, but it is my name. It is who I am.

  Speaking of names, why is the novel entitled Life After Yes?

  The novel is named Life After Yes because it is the story of the time in a woman’s life after she says yes to that infinitely important and culturally heralded question. In many ways, I think our society is unduly focused on the fanfare of the fairy tale: the utterance of that question, on the sparkling diamond, on the yes, at the expense of other important things. I set out to write a more realistic tale about the revealing emotional and existential tumult that can, and frequently does, ensue after engagement. I think couples, and very loving couples, can weather many things between engagement and wedding and I think this topic, this time, is underexplored. Additionally, I think the title is fitting because there are many jokes about how life is over after engagement, or after getting married. Ultimately, I think and hope this story shows that there can be life, a different and rich life, an exquisitely imperfect life, after yes.

  Quinn seems particularly insecure in her romantic relationships although she is obviously thriving at work. Do you think this is common among successful women today?

  I don’t pretend to know what is common among successful women today. I don’t pretend to know what exactly it means to be a “successful woman” today. What I do know is that many of the women whom I have encountered professionally or person ally are riddled with confidence and insecurity just as Quinn is. I think it is a fallacy to think that these two qualities cannot coexist and commingle. Recently, I started a blog called Ivy League Insecurities to explore this idea, namely that insecurity is part of what it means to be human and that in exploring our own in security, we learn more about ourselves. The blog has resonated with many women (and some loyal men!) who embrace the idea that life is not black and white, but made up of glorious grays. Many of these women are extremely well-educated and have demanding jobs as professionals or mothers or both. Many of them “have it all” by society’s standards, and yet are disillusioned and plagued by doubts.

  A prime example of the insecure Ivy Leaguer, Quinn appears shakier in her romantic relationships than she does in her work life. This could be because she allows herself to be insecure in her personal relationships, she allows herself to embrace the thicket of doubts and regrets and fears. At the law firm, Quinn puts up a good front, an impeccable facade, because she feels she has to. I think this happens a lot. I think many of us present a certain side of ourselves, a more polished side of ourselves, in the professional or public arena because we feel like we must. I also think that Life After Yes illuminates the perennial difficulty of balancing work and life that women, and many men, face. It is hard, if not impossible, to commit wholly to a profession and a person at the same time.

  At bottom, I think Life After Yes is a tribute to the complex beauty of insecurity and doubt and realistic love. Life does not need to be a fairy tale to glitter or to be authentically good.

  We never actually meet Quinn’s father and yet he plays an important role in the book. Why was it important to you to have him as a character, if only through flashbacks?

  The loss of Quinn’s father is pivotal to her story and who she is as a person. The suddenness of this loss, coupled with the broader national trauma of 9/11, affects Quinn and affects her deeply. Quinn’s father played a significant role in her life and continues to do so even after he’s gone. In the wake of his death, Quinn finds herself on shaky existential earth; she is forced to ask questions she has never asked before. In important ways, she is forced to grow up. Learning about Quinn’s father through flashbacks helps reveal who Quinn is and is becoming.

  Personally, I knew nothing about losing a parent when I wrote Life After Yes. Several years after completing this story, my own father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. At the time, I was sitting on a relatively polished draft. It haunted me and humbled me to realize that I had written an entire novel about a daughter’s life in the wake of her father’s death and now my own father was dying. I had serious reservations about seeking publication because I worried that people would think this book is a veiled account of my own recent family tragedy. I feared (and still do) that readers would assume this story is about me and my father and my life, which it simply isn’t. Ultimately, I concluded that contemplating the loss of parents is part and parcel of adulthood and I wasn’t going to relegate my story to a desk drawer out of personal fear. My father finished reading the manuscript of Life After Yes just a few weeks before he died. I found my wonderful literary agent a mere two weeks after he died. I think—no, I know—that he would be proud that I am pursuing my passion.

  Life After Yes takes place in Manhattan in the immediate wake of the 9/11 attacks. Why did you make this setting choice?

  I was born and raised in Manhattan. This is my hometown. This is what I know. I was here on that day. I was in the Towers three days before they fell. I was there, on an impossibly high floor, the portrait of professional perfection in my pinstripes and pumps, for an interview at a law firm. I remember sitting in a partner’s office while he interviewed me. I don’t remember a word he said, but I do remember looking past him and out the vast and spotless window. I remember the expanse of powder blue sky and the helicopters flying by.

  And then, days later, just like that, that window, those towers, maybe that man, and our national innocence were gone.

  Thankfully, I didn’t lose anyone in the attacks. I do not pre tend to know what it was like to lose someone in the attacks. But as a New Yorker and an American and a person, I was very much affected by that day. It changed me. It woke me up. It made me realize that life can be brutal and short and uncertain and that we should try to do things we love and surround ourselves with people we love. It taught me, and maybe us all, that we should never assume the existence of tomorrow. In many ways, I think that day, that terrible day, inspired me to become a writer. On that day and in its impossible aftermath, I started taking inventory of what matters and what doesn’t.

  Life After Yes is not about 9/11, but is a love letter to Manhattan and to post-9/11 Manhattan in particular. I hope that the story offers a small, but viable window into this incomparable city, a city that has bounced back and yet will never be the same.

  Questions for Discussion

  Life After Yes begins with a dream (or nightmare) that comes back to Quinn throughout the book. What is the significance of that dream? Ultimately, what is it that Quinn is so afraid of?

  Quinn (a.k.a. Prudence) struggles with her name from a young age and is called different things by different people: Sage calls her Quinn but Phelps, her first true love, teases her as Prudence. The law firm knows her as Quinn but her family calls her Prue. What do these two names represent for her?

  Do you think our society is overly concerned with the virtue (or vice) of prudence?

  Quinn seems like a typical lawyer when she’s talking and reasoning with other people—confident and rational—but her interior monologue is much more insecure. Do you think this is common, namely that our exterior selves are more polished than our interior selves?

  In the book, the w
ord “blackberry” refers to both the technological gadget and the fruit. How do these different meanings come together to define Quinn?

  Do you know anyone who is a “Berry Baby?” Are you? Why do you think people feel the need to check their BlackBerrys at all times?

  Quinn’s best friends, Kayla and Avery, are very different people and seem to represent the contradictory parts of Quinn herself. As Quinn changes, so do they. How do their lives mirror Quinn’s?

  The loss of Quinn’s father is prevalent throughout the book. How does Quinn deal with this loss? How does her father influence her decisions even after he is gone?

  Both Quinn and Sage have lost a family member, but they deal with their respective losses in very different ways. How have these losses impacted their relationship? How have these losses changed their families?

  Alcohol plays a conspicuous role throughout Quinn’s story. Do you think that Quinn—and others—rely too much on alcohol to cope with existential unrest? Do you think Life After Yes paints an accurate portrait of the ubiquity of alcohol in modern culture, or do you think the portrait offered is exaggerated?

  Do you agree that Life After Yes is not a fairy tale?

  Do you agree that there is usually one nurturer in a relation ship?

  Quinn’s mother says that growing up is not a fact, but a decision. Do you agree? When do you think childhood tradition ally expires? When one marries? When one’s parent dies? Or does childhood expire over and over?

  Fishing is an important theme throughout Quinn’s story. Discuss the significance of this particular theme to Quinn’s character and to questions of life and love.

  Late in the novel, Quinn realizes that her parents’ marriage wasn’t quite as perfect as it seemed. How does this affect her feelings about Sage and her impending wedding?

  Quinn isn’t exactly faithful to Sage and yet they seem to understand each other better after they both face infidelity. Why does this bring them closer?

  Do you agree with the theory that it is never too late to be come a good person?

  If you were Quinn, would you have chosen Sage or Phelps? Why? Do you think most women have a Sage and a Phelps in their life?

  As Quinn evolves, she comes to realize that we often don’t find the best things in life when looking, but stumble upon them while living. Do you agree?

  Shortly before the end of the book, Quinn realizes that some times beginnings and ends “bleed into each other.” Why is this important for her? Do you agree that life is a series of overlapping beginnings and ends?

  Life After Yes ends with a good deal of uncertainty. We do not know where exactly Quinn is headed professionally and personally. This is hardly the typical Hollywood ending, but it is also more real. As a reader, are you frustrated by the ending’s murkiness or do you find it satisfying in that it reflects reality?

  If there were a movie based on Life After Yes, whom would you choose to play the main characters?

  About the Author

  AIDAN DONNELLEY ROWLEY is a graduate of Yale University and Columbia Law School. The middle of five sisters, she was born and raised in New York City where she currently lives with her husband and two young daughters. Aidan writes daily about life as a mother and writer on her blog Ivy League Insecurities (www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com). Life After Yes is her first novel.

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  Advance Praise for Life After Yes

  “Rowley skillfully dissects the myth of having it all in this unputdownable, late coming-of-age story set in rarefied Manhattan. Her flawed and complex characters will stick with you long after Life After Yes’s final pages since they are all too human as they struggle with love and loss.”

  —Julie Buxbaum, author of After You

  “Life After Yes is a hilarious and heartbreaking story that explores the halfway-there terrain between accepting the proposal and saying ‘I do.’ A tale of love, grief, confusion, and the quest for certainty, this brave debut explores the choices we make, and the ones we must forgo to keep moving.”

  —J. Courtney Sullivan, author of Commencement

  “A must-read modern love story for any woman wondering which man, and which direction, is the right one.”

  —Tatiana Boncompagni author of Hedge Fund Wives

  “A moving look at post 9/11 life, love, and loss. Aidan Donnelley Rowley writes with a deft hand. A great new talent.”

  —Molly Jong-Fast, author of Normal Girl

  “Aidan Donnelley Rowley paints a tender portrait of life post 9/11 Manhattan through the eyes of a confused, grieving yuppie who should be happy and doesn’t know why she’s not. Quinn O’Malley’s search for meaning is touching and universal.”

  —Kristina Riggle, author of Real Life & Liars

  “A resounding ‘yes!’ to Life After Yes—a novel that explores, with charm and humor, life after loss. Readers will root for its endearing narrator, Quinn O’Malley, as she confronts the road not taken and navigates the conflicting and complicated intersections of head and heart.”

  —Mameve Medwed, author of Of Men and Their Mothers

  By Aidan Donnelley Rowley

  LIFE AFTER YES

  Copyright

  Grateful acknowledgment is made to the following for permission to reproduce song lyrics:

  “Dear Prudence” copyright © 1968 by Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC. All rights administered by Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC. 8 Music Square West, Nashville, TN 37203. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

  This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  LIFE AFTER YES. Copyright © 2010 by Aidan Donnelley Rowley. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  FIRST AVON PAPERBACK EDITION PUBLISHED 2010.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Rowley, Aidan Donnelley.

  Life after yes / Aidan Donnelley Rowley.

  p. cm.—(1st Avon pbk. ed.)

  ISBN 978-0-06-189447-3 (pbk.)

  1. Young women—Fiction. 2. Women lawyers—Fiction. 3. Yuppies—New York (State)—New York—Fiction. 4. Life change events—Fiction. 5. September 11 Terrorist Attacks, 2001—Influence—Fiction. 6. Manhattan (New York, N.Y.)—Fiction. I. Title.

  PS3618.O884L54 2010

  813'.6—dc22

  2009044957

  EPub Edition © May 2010 ISBN: 978-0-06-199473-9

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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