Back to Me

by Wanda B. Campbell

  “You said Pastor Reggie was a powerful teacher. He’s out there moving to the left, along with everyone else. Would God give him great revelations if he were a heathen?”

  Paige still didn’t answer.

  “No one is bumping or grinding, and the music isn’t sexual or vulgar. Every man is dancing with his wife or significant other. Just because you can’t dance and keep it holy, don’t condemn those of us who can.” He looked down at his watch. “It’s eighty thirty right now. Don’t talk until nine thirty. Maybe by that time you’ll learn how to bring your mouth and brain in sync. Unbelievable,” he mumbled and stormed away.

  Paige didn’t mind the argument. She’d do whatever it took to keep herself from having to deal with her slip of the tongue. However, she did mind the young woman who soon followed Sergio-Xavier to the dance floor. At first Paige assumed she was a relative, but something about the way the woman smiled at him didn’t set right with her. Halfway through the song, Tara confirmed her suspicions.

  “I see Angela found him,” Tara stated from beside her. “She can spot my brother anywhere.”

  “Is she another cousin?”

  Tara smirked. “Don’t throw that wild child into my family. We have enough of them already. Angela is a friend of my cousin Leah. She comes to all the family gatherings. She’s been chasing my brother for at least three years. Since you don’t like my brother, her presence shouldn’t bother you.”

  “You’re right.” Paige nodded but didn’t miss the snide smile on Tara’s face.

  After finishing her punch, Tara leaned against her. “My mother and grandmother gave me some good advice a long time ago. Since I like you, I’ll share it with you.”

  “Why, thank you, Officer Tara.” Now it was Paige’s turn at sarcasm.

  “Anytime, sis.” She looked directly into Paige’s eyes. “They told me that if I voluntarily give up my place, don’t get mad at the person behind me for stepping up.” Tara patted her shoulder and left Paige alone in her turmoil.

  What was she supposed to do? Go snatch Sergio-Xavier off the dance floor? Or worse, beat Angela down? Paige couldn’t do either without declaring publicly that Sergio-Xavier belonged to her. The reality was he didn’t belong to her and he could dance with whomever he wanted. True, she’d let her feelings slip, but he obviously didn’t feel the same, or else he would have said so.

  She stewed and paced back and forth, but she refused to go to him. That is, until the music changed to a slow love song and Angela latched on to Sergio-Xavier’s neck. By the time he’d set Angela away from him, Paige was beside him, waiting to squeeze into the gap.

  Angela appeared surprised, but Sergio-Xavier didn’t. “Excuse me, Angela, but I slow dance only with my lady,” he said and then gathered Paige in his arms, keeping the two women at a safe distance from each other.

  Thoroughly confused, Paige fell into rhythm with him without bothering to see if Angela left or not.

  “This is our first dance. Please don’t open your mouth and ruin the moment,” he whispered in her ear.

  Paige closed her eyes; she couldn’t speak if she wanted to. What had just happened? Did he refer to her as my lady? Maybe he just did that to get Angela to back off. Whatever the case, that didn’t explain her public show of possession, especially after she’d spent half the evening denying she liked the man. Paige opened her eyes to find several Simone women, including Grandma Ana and Teresa, pointing and laughing at her. Tara offered her a thumbs-up.

  Paige closed her eyes again and leaned her head against his shoulder and allowed herself to relax and enjoy the dance. If she were truthful, she’d admit she enjoyed dancing and had missed it. She’d given it up only as a condition of her salvation. She didn’t think dancing fell into the chaste category.

  Sergio-Xavier smelled good and felt good . . . but then the lyrics of the song registered. Her head snapped up just as Etta James sang the last line of “At Last.” There was something in Sergio-Xavier’s eyes that she hadn’t seen before or had just failed to recognize, and she had to turn away. Oddly enough, Paige thought of his mother.

  “Translate what your mother said about me,” she whispered in his ear. This time he didn’t stall, and she wished he had.

  “She said that you’re beautiful, and that it’s about time I found someone worthy of my love and respect,’” he whispered back in her ear.

  “Oh.” She nodded against his shirt and somberly left the dance floor. She didn’t have to look over her shoulder to know he was following her, as his heat permeated her senses. For the rest of the evening, the only time he left her side was to dance with his mother.

  Chapter 23

  Except for the horns of Dave Koz and Gerald Albright, the ride back to Paige’s home was quiet. Sergio-Xavier wanted it that way. That was why he turned on the sound system before securing his seat belt. He needed to clear his head and weigh his options before taking this next crucial step. Once he crossed this line, there would be no turning back and no more straddling the fence. His heart wanted it all, but his head reminded him how his heart had steered him wrong before and had blinded him to obvious truths. Now his logical thinking was blocking him from allowing what God had planted in his heart to flourish. He’d learned years ago not to place God in a box, but did his heart’s desire have to come in such an unconventional package?

  He glanced over at Paige, who was practically hugging the passenger door and was faking sleep. He knew she was faking, because he’d caught her peeking at the highway signs several times. Paige didn’t want to address the evening’s events, either. Her actions proved it. He’d heard her declaration of love and recognized that their argument was the smoke screen she’d used to cover it up. He’d gone along to keep her from losing control in front of everyone, but before the night was over, their time of reckoning would come.

  He released a low chuckle when Paige added snoring sound effects to the act. The woman was hilarious, especially when she fell from that chair while he was playing Lizzie. Her body hadn’t got the memo to respond only to gospel music. He’d bet his trust fund that Paige didn’t know how truly entertaining and comical she was. She’d invested too much energy into being a starchy Christian to relax and enjoy a fulfilled life, the way God intended. That was his purpose—to help her discover life.

  Am I ready for this? he pondered while turning off the interstate. Paige was more than a handful with her preconceived ideas. She had a good heart; God had shown him that. Yet somehow Paige failed to recognize that goodness. She seemed to be on some sort of quest to prove her worthiness. Her devotion to God didn’t help her comprehend that she was good and worthy simply because of what Christ did on Calvary.

  He pulled into Paige’s driveway, and Sleeping Beauty lurched forward and opened the car door.

  “Drive safely. See you later.” Paige spat the words with lightning speed and jumped from the Bentley before Sergio-Xavier got his door open.

  In an instant the peace he’d been seeking enveloped him, extracting boisterous laughter from a place in his heart he didn’t know existed. “Oh, yeah, I am more than ready for this,” he said aloud while watching Paige struggle to run up the walkway in heels and feel around in her purse at the same time.

  He climbed out of the car and headed up the walkway. “Need some help with that?” he offered upon reaching the front door. He had to think of something deadly serious to keep from laughing in her face. In her effort to avoid him, she’d dropped her house key three times.

  “No, I’m g-good,” she stuttered. “It’s late, and you have church in the morning.”

  “I attend the late service, remember?”

  Sergio-Xavier stooped and caught the falling keys before they hit the ground. “Allow me, please.” He unlocked and opened the door with ease, then stepped aside for her to enter.

  He followed behind her, knowing she wouldn’t invite him in. If the terror etched on her face was any indication, she’d rather be stranded in the desert without water than be there
with him.

  His hands rested on her shoulders. “Let me hang up your coat.”

  She stilled long enough to slide the wool down her shoulders.

  He couldn’t resist the urge to make her sweat, so instead of just removing the coat from her arms, Sergio-Xavier allowed his palms to travel slowly across her shoulders and down her arms to her elbows.

  “I need something to drink.” Paige shook him and the coat loose and then ran into the kitchen.

  Payback is sweet, he thought while hanging up her coat and removing his own. She’d been torturing him with those lethal legs for days. It was time she got a dose of her own medicine.

  The victory was meaningless once he rounded the corner and entered the kitchen. Paige was bent over the double sink, crying, with the water running full blast. Her hands cupped her mouth to help muffle the sound. He prayed for discernment, and then the source of Paige’s tears was clearly revealed—this was her first time loving anyone and she didn’t feel worthy of having that love returned. Why she felt unworthy remained hidden.

  From behind her, Sergio-Xavier turned off the faucet and placed the paper towel he’d gotten from the counter against her chest. After she accepted it, he wrapped his arms around her waist and embraced her from behind, with his chin resting on her head, until her body stopped trembling. Once certain the storm had passed, he scooped her up and carried her into the living room and placed her beside him on the sofa.

  She didn’t resist when he held her hand with one hand and lifted her chin with the other, forcing her to make eye contact.

  “You’re not in this alone, sweetheart. I stopped lying to myself some time ago. It’s time for us to stop lying to one another and face the truth, which is crystal clear to those around us. God’s knows I didn’t mean to love you. In fact, I fought hard not to, but the more I resisted, the more my heart created a spot that only you can occupy. I call it Paige’s Place.”

  “Aw,” she whimpered. “I didn’t know you had game like that.”

  “Baby, please don’t open your mouth and ruin the moment. Save it for our next argument, which I’m sure will be soon.”

  She started to pout, but then her face settled into the kind of smile he’d give away half his fortune for.

  “Tell me again,” he said, then released her hand and pointed at her chest. “Tell me what’s in here, like you did earlier. Only this time, don’t let the words slip out and then give me that regretful look, like what you feel for me is bad. Take your time and tell me how you feel with the same confidence you had when you booted Angela off the dance floor. Just like I didn’t leave you hanging then, I won’t leave you hanging now.”

  He expected her to put up a protest or at least stall, but she disappointed him in the best way.

  “All right. I love you. I don’t know how it happened, but I do. I tried to pray it away, but that only endeared me to you more. I’m stuck and not sure what to do about it, if anything. Your presence is precious to me, and I don’t want to share you, but I don’t know how to keep you, either.”

  “Sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere, unless you want me to. And even then, I won’t go far. I love you.” Sergio-Xavier leaned in and treated himself to something he’d been craving for weeks. He gently massaged her lips with his own but then pulled back when Paige’s lips parted.

  “Is that it?” she said. The frown was back.

  He released her chin. “What? You don’t want me to kiss you?”

  “Of course I do, but not like that. You have no idea how many fantasies I’ve had about kissing those full lips. There are too many to count, but not one of them started and ended with a peck,” she explained. “You’re a doctor. You do know the tongue is used for more than tasting food.”

  “I was trying to be romantic.”

  “Well, can you add some passion and not kiss me like I’m a child? I take that back. You gave Alexis more energy than that grandpa smack.”

  He patted her hand, hoping to make her understand. “We’re not naive teenagers, Paige. It’s my job to protect you and not lead us into temptation. If I unleashed the passion I feel right now, we’d both have to lie under the altar tomorrow.”

  The neck rolling started the second she jumped up. “Speak for yourself. I can handle my flesh. Not one time have you caught me staring at your rear end or those oversize pectorals that keep blocking my vision. You have no idea how your hot breath against my neck affects me. I almost fell down on my kitchen floor, but I didn’t. So don’t tell me I can’t handle my flesh.”

  He rose and stepped into her personal space with his palm raised. “I do know. Why do you think I keep brushing up against you like that? And because I’m a doctor, I can tell you exactly how much your pulse and respiration increase the second you sniff my cologne.”

  Paige gasped. “Well, why do you think I keep wearing dresses around you? I love watching you drool over my legs.”

  “It’s not my fault you have the sexiest legs I’ve ever seen!” Sergio-Xavier threw his hand up and stomped to the coat closet. What should have been a compliment came out as an angry yell. “This is insane. You’re insane,” he called over his shoulder after snatching his coat off the hanger.

  She ran and blocked the front door so he couldn’t leave. “Wait!” she ordered. “I just have one question for you.”

  Physically and emotionally frustrated, Sergio-Xavier emptied out his lungs and ran his sweaty palms through his hair, wondering why he couldn’t have a normal girlfriend. Any other church girl would have appreciated his control and consideration, but not Miss Saved and Sanctified to the Bone.

  “What more could you possibly have to say, Miss McDaniels?”

  “If I’m insane and you love me, what does that make you? Maybe you’re a little insane as well.”

  The innocence with which she asked the question shattered his resolve. The woman was just too adorable with those pouty lips.

  Laughter poured from them both as he reached for her. “Come here, woman. I can’t believe your big mouth ruined our first kiss,” he said, taking her into his arms.

  She hadn’t learned her lesson yet. “Don’t blame me. If you’d done it right, my mouth would have been too occupied to talk.”

  Experience is the best teacher, he decided and then lifted her chin and gave her what she thought she wanted. Sergio-Xavier didn’t end the kiss until Paige started sliding down the door, gasping for air.

  “That will teach you to stop running your mouth,” he said with a satisfied grin after he steadied her and pulled her away from the door.

  “You should go now.” Her alto voice had dropped to bass tenor, and beads of sweat outlined her forehead.

  He opened the door but had to get one more dig in. “Good night, beautiful. Sleep well.”

  If her heated glare was any indication of Paige’s internal burning, she wouldn’t be able to sleep until summer.

  Chapter 24

  Eight hours after finally confessing her love to Sergio-Xavier, Paige stood behind the stage at Restoration Ministries, praying for the strength to lead the church into high worship and praise for the eleven o’clock service. She had learned only minutes earlier that the scheduled worship leader for the second service had called in sick. As the assigned backup, Paige had to fill in. Any other Sunday, Paige would have been ecstatic about singing for the Lord, but today her spirit was too uneasy to act out the joy she’d become accustomed to faking. Today claiming something she didn’t possess seemed pointless, and so did speaking manufactured church lingo.

  When the usher asked how she was doing this fine Sunday morning, Paige responded, “Tired and sleepy,” instead of the usual “Blessed and highly favored.” She wasn’t mad or angry. She wouldn’t say she was happy, but she was content. Something inside her had changed, but unable to identify what, Paige attributed it to fatigue.

  After taking a cold shower last night and praying, she had called Sergio-Xavier and they had talked half the night about everything, anything, and nothin
g. When they started arguing over who should hang up the phone first, Paige realized she’d never slowed down long enough to have a boyfriend or to be courted. She wanted that experience with Sergio-Xavier, but she hadn’t reconciled how he fit into her plans for Seniyah and the baby.

  The first chords of the overture played by the band redirected her focus to the task at hand. After entreating the Lord to anoint her voice once more, Paige walked to the center of the platform and removed the microphone, and after a brief exhortation, she closed her eyes and offered the one thing she knew God accepted from her—worship.

  “Girl, the Lord anointed you today,” Reyna said when Paige slipped into the seat she’d saved for her on the second row after praise and worship.

  “To God, be the glory.” Paige looked down the row and greeted with a wave the Jenningses and the Scotts, who were seated next to Reyna and Tyson. They returned the greeting, then directed their attention back to the screen displaying upcoming events.

  “Is there enough room for me?”

  Paige’s head jerk created a domino effect. As if on cue, seven heads, including baby Destiny’s, turned sideways, and everyone gaped at Sergio-Xavier, who was standing at the end of the row.

  Elation didn’t begin to describe how Paige felt. He’d called her this morning just to say, “Good morning, love. Have a peaceful and blessed day.” Then he’d hung up. Now he stood within inches of her, looking fine as ever with that defined dimple.

  “There’s always room for you.” She offered him a smile and then sneered at her friends down the row. “Move over,” she ordered.

  Kevin and Tyson chuckled and exchanged high fives before waving at Sergio-Xavier and scooting down the row. Reyna was too busy giggling to move her stuff fast enough. Paige pushed the baby’s diaper bag out of the way.

  “Thanks, sweetheart,” Sergio-Xavier whispered in her ear.

  “What are you doing here?” She was the reason he was there, but she wanted to hear him say it. He didn’t disappoint her.