by Sumida, Amy
Demeter had set out to destroy me, and had done a pretty good job of it so far. She had ended my friendship with Blue through her machinations, had brought the Intare into her war against me, and had me literally thrown to the lions. Then, when that plan had gone horribly wrong for her, she had tried to take my wolf from me and nearly succeeded. Now, this.
The woman needed to get a life. Too bad I was going to do everything within my power to accomplish the exact opposite.
“The Froekn hunt Demeter to avenge her attack on their Prince,” I waved a hand back to Trevor, who was seated on my right. “They have cause to hate but now, our grievance is the greater and we shall have the kill.” The Intare cheered again but then Trevor stood and their voices quieted to a murmur.
“Vervain,” he spoke steadily but with a cadence, like a heartbeat. “Rouva, consider our father.”
“Fenrir will understand.”
“No, he can't.” He met my gaze steadily when I turned angry eyes on him. “He almost lost a child. It's different to him.”
“These men are my family as well,” I gestured to the silent Intare. “One of them lie dead on that table and I will have vengeance for him.”
“It's not your fault,” he whispered.
“They deserve this.”
“It's not your fault, Vervain.”
“I saved you. Fenrir will grant me this kill.”
“It's not your fault.”
“Yes, it is!” I roared, my lioness barely held in check, and the room took a collective breath. “I failed him. I saved them only to bring death right to their door. What kind of Tima am I?”
“Stop it,” Trevor was holding me and the Intare had settled in around us, silent but supportive. “You are not responsible for Demeter's actions.”
“I'm the one she wants to hurt but he suffered for it. You suffered for it. I have to end this.”
“And the Froekn will help you,” his voice was soothing, as soothing as the hands of my lions, reaching out to comfort me. “We are all family,” his voice rose and I realized he was speaking to my lions as well. “Your Tima is my Rouva. We are connected and even though some are Pride and some are Pack, we are the same through her. Your pain is our pain and our vengeance shall be yours. We will hunt Demeter together and she will pay for the evil she has brought to those we love.”
A murmur of approval flowed around us and I looked up at Trevor with a new respect. I should have known he had it in him to lead. He was a Prince after all. I'd just never felt the weight of that charisma directed at me before. It was a little humbling.
“Together then,” I agreed, “but first, we bury our dead.”
Chapter Twenty
I turned in a slow circle and then fell back in my bed. It was going to take a few days to arrange the funeral, so all who wanted to could attend. I'd gone home with Trevor for the interim and it was so good to be home. For awhile there, it felt like I’d never see it again.
Home always feels that way after life-changing events for me. It’s like I can’t believe that my refuge has remained the same through it all. Change can be so disrupting sometimes, you feel like everything must be touched by it. Normal must be gone forever. Coming home to see that I still had my sanctuary, was soothing in a way nothing else could be.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, Minn Elska,” Trevor held out a hand to me.
“I stink, huh?” I frowned down at my ruined pink dress. How long had I been wearing this thing?
“You can’t possibly be comfortable,” he got that look he got when he was playing the doting mate.
I knew instinctively that he needed this, needed to take care of me. It’s a werewolf thing, providing for your mate and all that. So I smiled and let him pull me out of bed, even though I was so exhausted, I could’ve slept just as I was. He carried me to the bathroom and put me on the little padded chair for my vanity as he ran the bathwater.
My bathroom was done in old Hollywood glamor and I smiled back at the black and white photos of the old movie stars on the walls. Vivien Leigh looked a little displeased with my ragged state but good ol’ Bogie had a who gives a shit grin on.
The room matched the photos, all black and white. White walls, white tub and sink, but black accents as well as curtains and towels. The tiles were a mix of black and white but not in the expected checkerboard pattern. Instead, the black tiles formed geometric designs and the white served as a background. Painted above the vanity where I sat, was a quote from Mae West. “It’s better to be looked over, than overlooked.” She really did have the best lines.
Trevor came back over and stood me up, so he could remove my clothes. Then he lifted me into the tub and I sighed as the warm water closed over my aching body. My eyes fell shut as he gently washed my hair, the feeling of his thick fingers massaging my scalp almost putting me to sleep. I woke up quick though when he started to wash my body.
His touch was still gentle but a little too thorough to be relaxing. The filth and tension drifted away with his tender strokes. I wondered again how I’d ever live without Trevor and why I couldn’t just marry him.
“I wish you would stop scaring me like this,” he stood me up so he could rinse me off with clean water.
“Me too,” I nodded sternly. “Maybe someone should send a memo to the bastards who keep interfering with the solemn vow I took, to not get killed.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” Trevor’s voice was so serious, that I opened my sleepy eyes.
“No,” I waved a tired finger at him. “You don’t need to go all manly on me now. I’d just be transferring fear for my life into fear for yours.”
“Have you forgotten that if you die, I die too?” There was no regret in his eyes for choosing me over immortality and that always amazed me… and humbled me.
“I never forget that,” I stood still as he toweled me dry and then he carried me back to bed. “Sometimes I wish you hadn’t bound yourself to me.”
“What?” He looked at me like I’d just shot his dog. Do werewolves even have dogs? And if they do, do you think training is easier for them?
“I don’t like thinking about you dying with me,” I snuggled under the covers and felt him crawl in beside me.
“I don’t like to think about you dying, period,” he pulled me in close and nuzzled the special spot on my neck that always made me tremble. “I actually find comfort in the fact that I won’t have to go on living if you were to die. It almost makes me feel sorry for Odin. He had to face eternity without you.”
I actually felt a shudder course through his body… a shudder. Sometimes it really astounded me how much Trevor loved me and sometimes it irritated me a little. I didn't like having his death hanging over my head and I really didn't like that he found it comforting.
It seems like a lot of women want a man that's willing to die for them, and I won't deny the gallantry of it, but all I really want is one that will live for me. The years Odin had spent mourning Sabine, hoping to one day be reunited with her, seemed far more romantic to me than Trevor's declaration that he'd be happy to follow me into my grave. Dying would be easier on me if I could know that the person I loved would go on living.
With that thought came a quick flash of memory. I was still lying in bed but it was a different bed... my deathbed. Odin was holding my hand and I was reassuring him that we would meet again. It had felt peaceful. I was happy, knowing the man I loved was immortal and would be there for my next incarnation.
Trevor would not. If and when I reincarnated, I wouldn't have him to come back to. It was a sobering thought. Now that I had proof of reincarnation, I had to rethink a few things. Did Atlanteans reincarnate? Or did they forgo that option by choosing immortality? Oh, now my head was starting to hurt. I didn't want to think about losing Trevor. No matter what his views on life and death were or how much he sounded like an emo vampire when he talked about them, I loved him and I wanted him to live.
I sighed and reached back to stroke his cheek. “I love you,
honey-eyes but I need to sleep now. Can we discuss eternity in the morning?”
“Sure, Rouva,” he laughed softly and it was the sweetest lullaby I’d ever heard.
Chapter Twenty-One
I woke up to a natural disaster erupting all over my front door. A natural disaster that sounded like a cross between an earthquake and a tornado, and who went by the name of Thor. Hurricane Thor kept up the violence on my poor abode until Kirill let him in and came to get me out of my nice warm bed.
I just lay there groaning.
“Please not to make me deal vith Zor,” Kirill's Russian accent got worse when he was nervous. It was kind of cute but I'd never tell him that. It would probably just make him more nervous and then I wouldn't be able to understand him at all.
“But I don't want to deal with Zor either,” I whacked the blankets to either side of me with my arms. “I mean Thor.”
“I'll deal with him,” Trevor's face twisted into what some people might call a grin, and by people I mean sociopaths.
“Stop,” I sat up and pointed a finger at him. “You at least need to put some pants on.”
Trevor looked down at his nudity and shrugged. Yeah, if I looked like that, I probably wouldn't mind flaunting myself either.
“Then can I deal with our guest?” He did that almost smiling thing again.
“No,” I sighed and rolled to the opening at the end of the bed. “I'll speak to him.”
I dressed and followed the guys out to the kitchen where Thor was seated in one of the carved Chinese chairs at the matching table. He sat rigid, regal, arms over both armrests and chin up. I felt like I'd just been granted an audience with the King. I had to shake the feeling off and remind myself that this was my ex-boyfriend in my dining room.
“What's up, Thor?” I slid into a chair beside him as Kirill went to make coffee. Bless his little lion heart.
“I've been informed that something serious went on last night in Asgard,” he frowned but that was Thor's usual expression since we'd broken up. “As guardian of Asgard, I'm offended to not have been alerted. As your guardian, I'm offended to not have known you needed assistance.”
“Ve protect Tima now,” Kirill put a cup of coffee down before both me and Thor. I silently thanked him for speaking up before Trevor could.
“Yeah, we got this,” Trevor called out over his shoulder, from where he stood making breakfast.
“Be that as it may,” Thor nodded his thanks to Kirill for the coffee. “I still have a standing Blood-to-Mouth vow with your Tima. I can't help feeling protective. Now tell me what happened, Vervain.”
“How did you even hear about this?” I yawned and poured cream into my coffee till it turned beige. “We only just got back.”
“Rain,” Thor frowned and looked away. “I was at a party at Epona's and he was there of course. He came up to me and asked how the link between us was holding up, now that you have a new man. I was about to get angry when I realized I couldn't sense you anymore. So I began to concentrate harder and I felt a tingle of your relief.”
“Relief?” I glanced at Kirill as he took the chair on my other side.
“Yes,” Thor's stare intensified and I suddenly saw so much of Odin in his face, it freaked me out and I had to look away. “Before I could say anything, Rain mentioned that you'd gone with Odin to help out with some unknown issue. He suggested it might be a good idea for me to check up on you this morning.”
“What the hell?” I looked at Kirill and then back at Thor. “That boy is really getting on my nerves with his weird cryptic manipulations. What's wrong with him?”
“You're making one of your jokes?” Thor was frowning again.
“No,” I glared back. “He's really pissing me off. He asked me how I'd feel about being a mother, right before I left and.... Holy shit,” I looked over at Kirill's slack-jawed face.
“Holy shit, what?” Thor prompted.
“We’ve discovered that Vervain is actually Sabine reincarnated,” Trevor placed a plate in front of each of us, piled high with food.
My eggs were perfectly done, over-medium like I preferred, and he’d even added a scoop of rice. I loved that wolf. He sat down and I gave him a look of gratitude for explaining for me.
“Excuse me?” Thor sputtered into his coffee.
“Balder has evidently harbored a grudge against her for all this time, so when Vervain went to help Odin oust some traitors, Balder kidnapped her,” Trevor poured himself a cup of coffee calmly, like he was talking about the score of last night’s Warrior’s football game. “We found her chained up in Breidablik but Balder fled. We also found out that he was behind a plot to kill Odin and take his place as leader.”
“Are you alright?” He took my hand carefully, like I might break… or pull away.
“I’m fine, Thor,” I did pull away but I tried to do it gently. “I’m just a little shaken to find out that I’m a mother.”
“Vidar,” Thor’s face went slack, like it hadn’t occurred to him before then. “Damn, did you meet him? He’s rarely around anymore.”
“Yes, we met,” I tried to smile but my lips were shaky. “I also met Vali, you know I consider him my son as well?” Thor nodded slowly, like it was those words more than anything else that convinced him of me being Sabine. “But Rain, he asked me how I'd feel if I was a mother in an entirely different life. Did he know about Vidar and Vali?”
“Probably,” Thor nodded like it was a given.
“What do you mean, probably?” I sat back in frustration. “What's he like, a psychic or something?”
“Yes,” Thor took a sip of his coffee before resuming his frowning. “I thought you knew.”
“No, I didn't know,” I turned to look at the other men. “Did either of you know?”
“No,” from Trevor while Kirill simultaneously said, “Nyet.”
“Hmph,” I sniffed and rubbed at my forehead. “A mother in another life. No kidding. No wonder he laughed.”
“And that explains why he prompted me to go find you,” Trevor took my hand. “Remind me to thank Rain.”
“I hadn't thought of that,” I guess I'd have to forgive him his cryptic clues. “I guess he kinda saved my life.”
“He helped a little but now you know why I listened and came over this morning. How do you feel, Vervain?” Thor’s face looked like it didn’t know whether it should convey sympathy or anxiety.
“I feel…” I looked down at my plate, then over to Trevor before looking back at Thor. “I’m scared. Thrilled. Worried. Confused. Sad,” I shook my head. “Pick one, they’re all accurate.”
“Did Vidar speak to you?”
“Of course he spoke to me,” I laughed and it sounded just a tad hysterical. “I’m his mother, sort of.”
“There’s no sort of,” Thor took a deep breath. “If he recognized you, then it’s true, you’re Sabine. Her soul has returned to live again; for whatever reason, she’s back. Your body is new, your life is new, but your soul is the same and it’s your soul that’s linked to his as his mother. The body doesn’t love, only the soul can do that.”
“Thank you,” I smiled. “You’ve just explained things in a way that I can finally understand.”
“You’re welcome,” Thor frowned. “Now tell me what Balder did to you?”
“Drugged me and slapped me around,” I shrugged and brushed my hair back so he could see my cut. “He didn’t get to the really rough stuff because I threatened to drain him.”
“You what?” Trevor looked over at me.
“Vervain, I told you to be careful with that,” Thor rubbed at his forehead, right where he had that piece of stone imbedded. Oh, so many jokes. “You've already done it twice. You could overwhelm your human body.”
“I found a way to integrate them all,” I mixed my eggs with the rice and poured some shoyu on top. “I'm fairly certain I could add more if I needed too.”
“Fairly certain?” Thor bit at his lip. “What if you take so many different powers,
you lose the ability to control them all? What would happen if you lost control of Love or War? Great Scott, I don't know what would be worse.”
“Did you just say, Great Scott?”
“Vervain, please,” Thor groaned, “focus.”
“Right,” I sighed. “Here's the thing, if a god is trying to kill me and I have no other options left, it's kind of a damned if I do, damned if I don't situation. I figure if I try it, I'll at least have a chance. Besides, I don't have to drain them all the way, remember? I could just take enough to weaken them and borrow their magic for a bit.”
“There is that,” he gave me a grim look. “So be it. I'd rather you live to deal with the problem later, as well. Do what you feel best but be careful.”
“I’ll save that trick for emergencies,” I smiled but it was as grim as his look.
“I think that may be best,” Trevor held my hand.
Thor frowned, “I can't believe Balder's trying to kill Father.”
“I just realized how screwed up this is,” I couldn’t pull my eyes away from Thor. “I was married to your father. Does that make me your Stepmom? Holy shit, I’ve slept with my Stepson. I’m some kind of depraved slut.” I moaned as I dropped my face into my hands. “Balder was right; I’m a whore, a big fat whore.”
“Vervain, stop it,” Thor took one of my hands gently away from my face. “Sabine was another life. You’re not a whore and I think Trevor will happily join me in ripping Balder limb from limb for ever saying that to you.”
A quick peek at my wolf showed him to be leaning in and nodding with a fierce light in his eyes. He took my other hand and kissed it.
“You’ve done nothing wrong,” Trevor squeezed my hand.
“Sure, easy for you to say, you’re a Prince, you guys can date within the family,” I pulled my hands back from them both. “I however, don’t have the royal prerogative of inbreeding.”
“Very funny,” Trevor pushed my mug at me in an attempt to get me to fill my mouth with something besides my insane chatter. “I take it you’re over your initial horror?”