by Sumida, Amy
“It’s faded a bit, yes,” I sipped, still inwardly cringing but unwilling to show it anymore.
I don’t know why it shocked me so much but it did. I just kept seeing myself as some slutty trophy wife sneaking off into my hot stepson’s bed. It was like an episode of Law & Order, except no one was dead… well, I guess I was, er, I mean Sabine was. Oh hell, and Al. My head started to pound. Al.
“Vervain, are you okay?” Thor caught my eye.
“I'm fine,” I said quietly, memories of our relationship pouring over me. Did I regret ending it? I mean if I hadn’t broken up with Thor, I wouldn’t be with Trevor. I looked over at Trevor and found him staring at me intensely. I took his hand and gave it a quick squeeze to lighten his look. He didn’t deserve all the stress I’d been putting him through. “There's more. Demeter killed one of my lions last night. Alfred. He's dead.”
“Oh, Vervain,” Thor's face went slack. “I'm so sorry. After what she did to Trevor, I thought she was as good as dead. Obviously the Froekn haven't been as successful as I thought they'd be.”
“She's been elusive,” Trevor's voice was a low growl.
“The other Intare are helping me arrange his funeral,” I swallowed past the memory of his life being cut from mine. I don't know how Nyavirezi was ever able to kill one of her own lions. She must have been a complete psychopath. “We want to bury him under a tree near the lake. He liked it there.”
I covered my face with my hands to give me a moment to compose myself but I felt a large hand on my shoulder with an electric tingle on my skin, and I lost it. I cried big, ugly, body-wracking sobs. I cried so hard, I wasn't sure what I was crying for in the end. Was it the loss of my lion or the loss of my previous life as Sabine? Was it the prospect of killing Sephy's mother or the thought that we may never find her and avenge all the wrongs she'd done? Maybe it was everything.
“Minn Elska,” Trevor was leaning in from one side and Thor had the other. “It's going to be alright.”
“I know,” I wiped my eyes frantically. “I'm sorry, I guess it's just been a lot to take.”
“Well,” Thor cleared his throat and pulled back. “I’m sorry to hear about your lion. I would like to attend the funeral, if I may?”
“Of course,” I tried to smile at him but it felt like my face was cracking. “Thank you, that would be kind of you.”
“I'll also be happy to help you with Balder,” he grimaced. “I can't forgive patricide, especially when it's my pater that's being cided, and I think you may need my help. He's especially hard to kill.”
“So it’s true, about the invulnerability?” I took a steadying sip of coffee.
“Oh yeah,” Thor shook his head. “It’s like his only talent but it's a good one. Well that and the shiny thing but what use is it to glow? I can get the same effect with a flashlight and some paint.”
“So it’s a no go on decapitation and draining,” I sighed.
“I don’t think any of your weapons will be able to decapitate him,” Thor grimaced. “I don’t know about the draining but I don't want you to worry about it right now.” Thor scooped some sausage into his mouth and made a very pleased expression. “There will be time later to think on killing. Let's focus instead, for now, on sustaining life.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
I didn't know what to expect from a lion funeral. I did expect there to be some Intare traditions to be observed or some kind of special way that they would like to honor their dead. Every culture has them, why wouldn't we?
“Because we have never had a Tima who cares about us,” Fallon told me.
“So what was done when an Intare died?” I wasn't sure if I wanted to know.
“Usually Nyavirezi would just have us dig a hole and pile the bodies in,” Darius answered.
“Bodies, as in plural?”
“We only died when she wished it,” Fallon frowned and looked out the window toward the spot we'd prepared for Al. “It's hard to stand there and do nothing while one of your brothers dies. So it was rare that an Intare would die alone.”
“Sometimes I wish I could kill that woman all over again,” I growled.
“Yes, well she is dead already and that at least, is something to celebrate,” Aidan, another lion of mine, said from the library's doorway. “Everyone is waiting for you, Tima.”
“Right,” I sighed. “What should I do? I thought you'd have some sort of ritual for me to follow. I don't have anything planned.”
“You are the Tima of the Intare,” Darius grasped my shoulders firmly. “You create our culture. You create our rituals. Anything you say or do today will be fine.”
“So no pressure,” I grimaced and gently pushed his hands from my shoulders. “Aidan, can you get me a box, something wooden and pretty, and a knife?”
“Yes, Tima,” he said as he left.
“Let's get to making some tradition.”
I walked out into the hallway and down toward the main doors toward the left. I could see a crowd of people waiting, talking in somber tones. Surprisingly, there were quite a few gods mingling with my lions. The Froekn were also there in full force and I could see Fenrir towering above everyone, near the edge of the group.
I stepped off the wide veranda and out into the bright sunlight, Darius and Fallon acting as an honor guard behind me, and found Kirill waiting at the bottom step to take my arm. All eyes turned to us. I did my best to meet those serious gazes as I moved forward, clinging to Kirill and nodding occasionally at some whispered condolence. Then I saw my human friends.
Sommer, Tristan, and Jackson were standing with Trevor. I stopped a second in shock and they smiled sympathetically at me. I looked at Trevor and he nodded in confirmation. He'd traced my friends over to be with me. I almost lost it then. In fact, I had to look down and blink rapidly, letting Kirill guide me for a bit.
By the time we made it to the grave site, I was composed again. I stepped to the back edge of the grave, glancing at Al briefly, where he was laid out on a pallet to the right. Then I looked up and faced the gathering of my friends and family. It felt odd that none of my actual birth family was there but it was alright. These people were family enough for me and I was humbled at how big this family was.
We were out on the open plain in front of the palace, a vast grassland dotted with delicate, lacey-leafed trees and graced with one small lake. The spot we'd chosen for Al overlooked the lake but was far enough away to not be trampled on by the herds that roamed there when they came to drink.
The group that gathered there for his funeral was so large, it almost reached the shore. The entire Froekn clan was there as well as my Intare, of course, but there was also the God Squad, Finn, Hades, Odin, Vidar, Vali, the Valkyries, and the Dark Horses. Oh, and let's not forget my human friends who traveled in a way that must have been terrifying to them, just to be there for me.
“Thank you all so much for coming,” I started. “For some of you, I know the trip itself must have been very stressful and I hope you know how much your presence means to me and my Intare.” I looked over at the stoic men lined up behind their fallen brother. “It's all the more important because today, the Intare will create our first ritual. Today, as we mourn the ending of one life, we celebrate the beginning of our culture. I'm honored to have all of you here to share it with us.”
I walked over to Al's corpse and took his hands in mine. He was dressed in his favorite jeans and a white, collared shirt. The marks Demeter had left on him had been covered and his face was starkly handsome. I placed my forehead against his in goodbye, then stood.
“Intare, come and wish your brother well on his journey.”
They came up solemnly and bent down, to bid their brother farewell, one by one. It was a quiet procession and it took awhile, as I had seventy-seven Intare left, but no one spoke or shuffled as they waited. When it was done, I stood before my fallen lion.
“Alfred Robert Hastings was born to Ralph and Julia Hastings on October 14, 1948. He served as a Uni
ted States Marine in Vietnam, where he was reported Missing in Action. He was in fact taken by Nyavirezi, who he said appeared to him as an angel to carry him away from all that death.” My voice broke and I cleared my throat before continuing. “She made him Intare and he came to live here, with the rest of the lions, where he learned who Nyavirezi really was. Unfortunately, the word angel was as far from an accurate description as you can get. From one battlefield he had been redeemed, only to be placed into another.”
“I met Al a few months ago when I was brought here kicking and screaming, quite literally,” I smiled at the little bits of laughter that incited. “He had asked me then, how I saw them, the Intare, and I told him that I saw brotherhood, a family. I said I saw respect and love.” I swallowed past the sudden lump in my throat. “I had no idea then, that I would get to be a part of this family, that I would have the honor of calling these men my brothers, or that I would be blessed enough to share in that love.”
I looked at my Intare and took a deep breath, taking in all those familiar scents and being comforted by them. When I became their Tima, I knew I had finally found my home. I had felt, for the first time on this strange path I'd forced myself down, that destiny might have actually had a hand in my life. They looked at me now, grim in their grief, with trust that I would say and do exactly the right thing for them. I desperately wanted to be worthy of that trust.
“I became their Tima by accident and I have stumbled along the path of this leadership with the grace of a five-year-old child.” A few chuckles wafted my way from the Intare. “But through it all, these brave men have helped me, picking me up when I fell, and showing me how to be a leader to them. Al wasn't the sweetest of lions,” a louder chuckling, “but under the scars of his soldier's heart, beat the heart of an Intare, fiercely passionate and loyal. He helped make me a better leader but more importantly, he helped make me a true Tima. I am the heart of the Intare, not because of magic or chance, but because the Intare have made it so.”
I reached out to them along the invisible lines that connected us, and asked them to change into lions. There were some feelings of surprise but they all did as I asked, earning a few gasps from the rest of the mourners. I picked up the box and knife Aidan had deposited on the ground near Al, and let the lions know that I wanted them to come forward one by one.
The first was Kirill, his beautiful pelt shining blue in the patches of sunlight that filtered in through the trees. I raised the knife and everything went quiet. I couldn't even hear the wind rustle through the grass or the chirping of birds. It was like, even the land was listening, waiting.
“We lay our brother to rest here. Will you honor him and lay a piece of yourself down with him?”
Kirill's blue eyes stared at me intently and then he nodded once. I loved him even more then, for accepting whatever it was that I had planned, without question. I took a small lock of his mane, cut it off, and placed it in the open box which I'd laid at my feet. He rubbed his forehead against my hand and walked back to the pride.
I continued with the rest of the Intare until I had collected hair from each of them and the box was full. Then I pulled a lock of my hair forward and cut it off roughly before placing it on top of the pile of fur and closing the box. I turned and lay the box on Al's chest, tucking it into the hands crossed serenely there.
“Where you go, go all of us, for you are Intare in death as well as life.” I laid my hand on Al's forehead. “Take the pride with you, to know you are not forgotten, until the wheel turns and you come back to us.”
I stepped back and roared, a sound of tribute instead of sorrow, and the Intare roared with me. The sound was so loud, the ground shook and a fine dust lifted from the earth. It danced there a moment like mist, even after the roaring subsided, until it finally drifted back down to the ground. Then I gently wrapped the hanging fabric up and over Al's body .
“We will not lay our brother in the ground until later this evening so that if any of you would like to say goodbye or would like to leave something with Al, you may do so. Thank you again for coming and being here to share the burden of sorrow with us. Please join us now in the tent for refreshments.”
I walked toward a tent my men had erected to the left of the grave site. The lions flowed around me, Kirill right at my side, and directed me to a carved chair at the far end of the tent. I sat and they settled in behind and beside me. A lake of lions surrounding the little island of me. Some broke off from the pride to change back to human and go get dressed, I'm assuming to help with the guests, but most stayed in lion form. Kirill rubbed his mane up into my hand and I sunk my fingers all the way to his skin and scratched him affectionately.
“Vervain,” Trevor had brought my friends to the front of the receiving line.
“Thank you so much for thinking to bring them,” I said as I got up and gave him a hug.
“I thought you might like to have them here,” he shrugged. “They did pretty well for their first trace.”
“It's all real,” Tristan stammered with big eyes.
“You knew it was real,” Jackson elbowed him.
“Yes but,” Tristan blinked, “there's knowing and then there's knowing. You know?”
“Absolutely,” I laughed and hugged him. “I'm so glad you're here and I can finally show you this part of my life. I only wish it were on a more happier occasion.”
“I'm so sorry,” Sommer said and hugged me. “It was a beautiful ceremony.”
“Thank you. I'm kinda glad I didn't have any time to prepare. I just went with what felt right and that's usually the best way to go.” I felt Kirill rub against my leg. “Why don't you guys go grab some food and I'll join you when I finish speaking with everyone. Trevor, would you mind playing host a bit longer?”
“No problem, Minn Elska,” he kissed my cheek. “Come on, let's eat.” He shuffled my friends toward the buffet table.
“Daughter,” Fenrir had been right behind his son. “That was a very moving ritual. You did well.”
“Thank you,” another hug. I was going to be all hugged out by the time this was done. “It was all spur of the moment actually.”
“Really?” Samantha was next to him, escorted by Fallon. Fallon had been dating my Froekn best friend for awhile. He was black and she was white. He was lion and she was wolf. They were the ultimate case of opposites attracting. “Not bad, Rouva.”
“Yes, she did us all proud,” Fallon smiled at me and I smiled at his hand joined with Sam's. It made me absurdly happy every time one of my lions found love. They had been denied it for so long, it was practically a miracle when it happened.
After them, came all of my Froekn family, rubbing their cheeks to mine in sympathy. Soft whimpers of shared pain and the musk of wolf were precious gifts from the werewolves. I collected them all and held them to me like a warm blanket on a stormy night.
Persephone and Hades came up next and part of me wanted to ask Hades if he knew where Al was. Was he in the Underworld with him? But that line of thinking was ridiculous. I knew that only humans who held strong religious beliefs would be chained to a deity in the afterlife.
The power of belief is amazing, especially when tied to gods through an energy exchange such as sacrifice. So if a man believed that when he died, he would ascend to Heaven, then that's where he would go. Hades would only have Al if Al believed it, and I doubted very highly that Al was into Greek religion.
So, where was he?
Funny that sitting there, surrounded by so called gods, I still had no absolute proof of what happened to the soul when we died. Where did atheists go? Where would I go? Obviously there was some kind of afterlife and some kind of soul rotation going on, or I wouldn't have my little conflict of having a past life to deal with. So I knew, without a doubt, that death was not the end. The part I wasn't clear on, was what it started... and where.
“Thank you both so much for coming,” I heard myself say and knew this was going to become automatic in a few minutes.
&n
bsp; “Oh, V,” Sephy hugged me and I instantly felt better. There was hope again. The sun would come out, yada yada. Sephy had that affect on people. “I'm so sorry.”
“We both grieve with you,” Hades patted my arm. He was wearing dark shades and I was thankful for his discretion. Looking Hades in the eye, was like staring into a furnace with a colored glass door. It was like his head was full of fire. Oh, I should call him Hothead... but not now. That would be inappropriate. Funny but inappropriate.
“Persephone,” I sat back and took her hand. “Demeter killed my lion. She tortured Al, then killed him, and that's after she tried to kill Trevor. I can't ignore her any longer.”
“Vervain, please,” she turned those big green eyes on me. “She acts rashly sometimes. My leaving home has been a huge shock for her and she's gone a little crazy.”
“Sephy,” I sighed. “Even if I were to step back, Fenrir and the Froekn are already on the hunt but I can't step aside. Al's dead because she wanted to make me suffer. This is more than your mom throwing a hissy fit. She murdered my lion. Do you really expect me to do nothing?”
“I don't know,” she said quietly. “I understand, I do. If it was anyone but her, I'd be standing right beside you in the hunt, but this is my mother. I can't be a part of it.”
“I'm not asking you to be a part of it,” I took her hand and squeezed. “I would never ask you to help me kill your own mother. I just wanted to be honest with you about what we're planning. You're my friend and I love you. You deserve to know.”
She nodded and turned away, unable to say anymore. Hades gave me a grim smile as he ushered her off. I'm sure he knew it was coming. It would have been Persephone who thought there was still a chance for her mom because Persephone could never think like a killer. She could never comprehend her mother and therefore, could never fully understand what needed to be done about Demeter.
The rest of the God Squad came up, offering sympathies and more hugs. Even Horus toned down the sarcasm and gave me an awkward pat on the arm. That was practically a tearful breakdown for him. Teharon brought up the rear of the group and the guilty look on his face had me momentarily puzzled.