“Just follow me, your therapy room has been set up and I’ll make sure the lights are down low.”
I wave her off and wait to be called for my massage. It doesn’t take long and I can’t wait to feel the tension lift from my body. I hadn’t realised quite how much of it I’d been storing in my upper back.
Once the masseur starts to work my shoulders I begin to feel lighter. My mind drifts back to the morning and to Helen. I tried her phone again and it was still off. I had worried until I saw she had been tagged in a photo on Facebook.
She was out with a few people from her class, including my least favourite friend of hers: Michelle.
Her passive aggressiveness towards me had certainly cooled but we still didn’t gel well together. I was glad that Helen hadn’t been sitting alone all night, but I was annoyed that she didn’t tell me – nor had she tried to get in touch since yesterday.
I shake the negative thoughts forming in my head and commit to staying present so I can enjoy the massage and not waste the experience by overthinking things and having imaginary arguments in my head with my girlfriend.
When my treatment was over I was led to a warm room, filled with a lavender scent, and several welcoming-looking loungers.
“Stay here for as long as you like,” says the masseur. “Your sister will be out soon.”
I settle myself on one of the loungers and place the little circles of cucumbers on my eyes that were on the plate beside me.
I am about to doze off when I hear the door open and I sit up to see who it is. The cucumbers drop to my lap and I spy Siobhan walk in, still looking as pale as ever.
She lies down on the lounger beside me without saying anything. I decide to leave her alone and within a minute she’s fast asleep.
I smile to myself and feel smug that I won’t be going through the horrors of a hangover like my poor sister.
After twenty minutes she jumps out of her sleep and sits up.
“Thank God, I thought I was falling off a building,” she says as she looks around and realises where she is.
“How are you feeling?” I ask.
“Like a badger defecated in my mouth,” she mumbles.
“You can’t just say ‘shat’ like a normal person?”
“Ugh, don’t be so gross. Some of us can still be classy with a hangover.”
“Ah, ok. So answer me this, my classy sister: where’s your giant inflatable penis?”
“No comment,” she replies as she turns away from me.
I smile to myself and check the time. We’ve got to be ready for the bus in half an hour. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem but I have a feeling that a lot of our party will be functioning at sloth-like speed.
I tickle the bottom of Siobhan’s feet making her jump into a seating position.
“We’ve got to go,” I say, gently. “The bus will be here soon and I don’t want to keep him waiting.”
“You’ve one last job to do for the hen party before we get back on the bus,” she replies.
“What’s that?”
“Find me plastic bags to bring on board in case I need to vomit on the way home.”
“Of course I will. You just concentrate on being your classy self.”
She’s too hungover to take the bait of my teasing. I lead her back to the room to get her bags and more than once, prevent her from getting back into bed.
The drive home is a much quieter trip than it was yesterday. The bus driver laughs at the sight of us and, clearly used to transporting hen parties, he tells us to shout if we need to stop to be sick.
When we reach Kilkin, there are lots of hugs exchanged between us all and I realise that I had much more fun than I was expecting. Despite being with a much louder bunch of people than I am used to, they all seemed to love Siobhan and there was no friction between any of them – a miracle in itself.
I look forward to seeing them all at the wedding and I know with them there, it’s bound to be a reception to remember.
Dad comes to the town square to pick us up but Siobhan seems surprised to see him.
“Where’s Lucas?” she asks. “He was meant to be picking us up.”
“He’s not back from his stag yet,” he explains. “He rang me this morning to let me know they were running late and asked me to do the honour.”
Siobhan groaned and adds, “He’s a terrible drinker, three pints and he’s away with the fairies. He’ll be hungover for a week if he’s still partying.”
“It’s sweet of you to worry,” I interrupt. “But I wouldn’t get up on that high horse until you’ve stopped throwing up every twenty minutes.”
She nods in agreement as we go over a bump in the road and she looks like she might get sick again.
Mum is there to greet us at the door and gives us both hugs.
“I have tea in the pot for your both and a nice lunch ready now.”
Siobhan puts her hand over her mouth and runs to the bathroom.
“You young ones never learn that alcohol is not the way to have a good time,” she calls after Siobhan. “What about you, love?”
“I’ll have something to eat, I’ll need it before I head to Dublin.”
“What? You’ve got work in the morning; you can’t be flitting off there. Sure, I thought Helen was sick anyway?”
“Exactly, she needs someone to look after her,” I lie. “Don’t worry, I’ll come back late tonight or leave there early in the morning.”
I have to see Helen, I can’t take another day of living in this horrible limbo and after my realisation, last night, I feel much better about my decision on our future.
Everything is better with her in my life, it’s as simple as that. I won’t let her go without a fight and if it means living in sin (as my mother would put it) then so be it. I’ll go to hell as long as Helen is riding shotgun with me.
I eat the baked potato and salad that Mum has made and she puts my tea in a travel cup for me.
“Give Helen my best,” she says. “If I’d known you were going, I would have sent my chicken soup with you. What will she think of me?”
I laugh and give her a hug. I tell her not to worry and promise that I’ll explain that the lack of my soup is my fault and not because she doesn’t care. This seems to satisfy her and I give her a kiss on the cheek.
I call into Siobhan who is still in the bathroom, but instead of a reply all I can hear is retching noises. I back away from the door and grab the keys to my car.
I want to get out of the house and on the road before I talk myself out of making the trip. It’s a long drive for just a couple of hours face-to-face, but if things go the way I want them to then I will be back with Helen and all the strain of the last couple of weeks will finally be gone.
I call her a few more times while I’m on the road but the phone is still off. I assume she’s stayed in her friends and not been back home to charge the phone. I push away the thought of anything bad having happened to her.
The roads are quieter at this time on a Sunday and it makes the drive easy, albeit a bit boring. Sometimes I like to nosy into the cars that pass me and make up stories of where they might be heading. Instead I have to rely on the radio for entertainment.
As I pull into Helen’s apartment complex I notice her car in her usual parking spot but when I get to her front door, there’s no answer.
Just as I’m about to give up and go to wait in the car I remember the café she always goes to after a heavy night out. She swears that anything on their menu is a sure-fire cure for even the worst of hangovers.
I figure it’s worth a shot so I leave the complex and go in search of the magic café.
It’s a ten-minute walk in the warm, Sunday afternoon and I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to say when I see her.
When I round the corner and see the cafe, I see her sitting at the table closest to the window with her friends, Paul and his girlfriend Tara. I’m glad that Michelle isn’t with them, so I don’t have to make polite s
mall talk with her.
Helen looks like she’s been crying and I rush in to see what’s wrong.
“Helen?” I say.
The three of them all look up and are shocked to see me standing there.
“Jane? What… what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you,” I begin. “I can’t stand us being apart anymore so before I go into this big speech, can you tell me what’s wrong?”
The three of them exchange strange looks and I feel like I’ve walked into an uncomfortable conversation.
“Nothing,” she says, eventually. “I had a fight with my dad and I just needed to talk to someone. Dragged these two out to vent to, I didn’t want to spoil your night away.”
I know this is a lie. I look at Paul and Tara for confirmation but they avoid my gaze.
“Tara, let’s go and let these guys talk,” says Paul. “We’ll catch up with you later, Helen.”
Paul seems frostier than usual and I realise that Helen must have told them about what’s been going on between us. I guess I would be annoyed at someone who was making my friend cry, too.
“See ya, Jane,” says Tara as she follows Paul out the door.
I sit down beside Helen and take her hand.
“I’m so sorry for these last few weeks,” I say. “I’ve absolutely hated that we’ve been on this break but it really has helped me see things much clearer. I don’t care about getting married, I want exactly the life that you’ve been talking about. A piece of paper isn’t going to change a thing between us. I want you, I want us, now and forever.”
My words make Helen cry again, but these are happy tears and I pull her in for a kiss.
“I’ve been a mess,” she replies. “I’ve been boring everyone talking about you and marriage. I think they’re about ready to kick me out of our friendship group. I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Me too, I hate that I’ve made you so upset. I take it Paul and Tara aren’t too pleased with me either, judging by their reaction at me being here.”
“What? No, not at all. I told you I had a fight with Dad and they were comforting me, that’ all.”
“What was the fight over?”
“Stella,” she replies. “I guess I’m not accepting her into my life quickly enough, or something.”
She stirs her tea with a spoon and looks forlornly at the cup.
“Why don’t we go back to yours and we can talk about everything properly?”
She gives me a weak smile and I go to pay the bill for her tea.
As we walk home, she’s still quieter than usual and seems lost in her own thoughts.
“I was expecting you to have a feast in front of you,” I say.
“Huh?” she replies.
“I only called there because I thought you’d be looking a hangover cure. How was your night?”
“How did you know I was out?”
“Picture on Facebook, was it a secret?”
She laughs and takes my hand in hers. “Don’t be silly.”
“I’ve been trying to phone you since last night so where did you stay last night?”
I try to keep my tone conversational but it’s not working. I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something off with Helen but she stops walking, turns to look at me and says: “I’m beginning to feel like you want to ask me something?” she says.
“Not really,” I lie. “I was worried and you’re being off.”
She looks like she’s about to say something but changes her mind before the words come out. She takes a deep breath and gives me a gentle kiss on the mouth.
“Michelle invited me out, I went because I was bored,” she says. “I crashed on her sofa and my phone died. I didn’t bother borrowing a charger because I thought you’d be busy at the hen party and wouldn’t be looking for me. I also didn’t fancy getting any more bitchy text messages from my dad about the Stella situation. Does that make you feel better?”
It does, I had to admit that I was starting to worry that something had gone on last night that Helen wasn’t telling me about but as soon as she gave me her explanation I felt better.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I guess I was a bit jealous and paranoid there.”
“Don’t apologise,” she replies. “The only reason we were on this stupid break in the first place is because of me. I shouldn’t have made you leave, or kept you away for this long. I should have been willing to compromise like you are now. I’m a stubborn fool but if you forgive me my faults then I’ll never let you down again.”
I smile and say I will. I begin to walk away but stop once I realise that Helen isn’t beside me. I look behind and I find her down on one knee behind me.
“What are you doing?” I say, slightly panicked that she’s about to be completely hasty and do something she’ll regret all because she thinks it’s what I want.
“Jane McMahon,” she replies. “I’m here on bended knee asking you to forgive your stupid girlfriend for being such a wedding Grinch. I can’t promise a big white wedding in our future but if you let me, I’ll make sure you have suncream on whenever we go on holiday, I’ll check your passport before we travel and I’ll make you dinner every weekend. Well, until we finally move in together and then I’ll make you do your fair share. Then, maybe when we’re a bit older and wiser we can have a couple of little Helen’s and Jane’s to screw up in our own unique way.
“I may not want a wedding, but I want a life that’s full of every other commitment I can give you. You’re the one.”
I kneel beside her and tell her she’s a romantic fool.
“We can have whatever kind of life you want as long as it’s together.”
We stand up and walk back to her flat, hand in hand, and go straight to bed. Both of us were hungry and anxious to make love and put the memory of our long separation behind us.
She falls asleep, wrapped up in my arms and I feel the beat of her heart through her back. There’s no way I can leave her tonight so I set an alarm to wake me up in the early hours so I can get back to Cork in time for work.
I mimic the rhythm of her breathing and I’m close to sleep when I find myself feeling happier than I ever thought I could be.
We’d found peace with each other and I was never going to let her go again.
Chapter 10
It’s Siobhan and Lucas’ wedding day and the whole house has been up since the crack of dawn.
I don’t think Siobhan has had more than an hour of sleep but she is full of energy.
The hairdresser and the women doing our make-up are due to arrive at any moment while Mum is trying to force toast down Siobhan’s throat.
She claims that she’s too nervous to eat, but I warn her that if she faints during the ceremony someone will post it on YouTube and she’ll be humiliated.
That does the trick and she grabs a slice of toast and pours herself a small cup of camomile tea to try to settle her nerves.
Helen stayed here last night so she’s also getting pampered like the rest of the McMahon women. I smile as I watch a curly tendril fall out of place and she grimaces as the hairdresser sticks another bobby pin into her scalp.
She doesn’t usually wear her hair up but it suits her.
You couldn’t hope for better weather in November in Ireland. It was cold but dry, and the sun was trying to break through the clouds. My mother swore that if she put the Child of Prague statue out last night, the weather would be perfect.
I knew she would be telling people later of how she saved her daughter’s wedding from rain with her magic Jesus statue.
Lucas spent the night in his own parents’ house and he’d already sent me three text messages this morning to make sure Siobhan was ok.
They had moved into their new home a week ago and it definitely was quieter around here without them.
I wanted to call in a couple of times but thought I should give them some space. After learning that they’d had sex in every room of this house, I didn’t want to accidentally c
ome across them christening their new place.
After Helen’s hair was finished, it was my turn. I now understood why Helen was making those uncomfortable faces, this hairdresser isn’t exactly gentle when pulling and shaping my hair.
I feel my head being dragged one way then the other and I catch Helen giggle at my discomfort as she’s getting her make-up done.
Things between us have never been better. As soon as the pressure of our future was taken off our shoulders, we got to concentrate on making the present, perfect.
She’s even looking into doing her first placement in a hospital in Cork. The thought of getting to see her several times a week instead of sticking to the weekends is amazing. I’m even looking at a flat in the city so we can have our space when she’s staying.
My mum was angry when she caught me looking at listings but she understood that just because I was thinking of leaving home again, it wasn’t going to be like last time.
I was never going to push them away again, not now.
Siobhan is last to get her make-up done. Her understated smoky eye matches the charcoal of my bridesmaid dress and her hair is pulled into a high bun with a few strands of hair framing her face at the front.
She looks stunning, even though she’s still in her ‘team bride’ pyjamas I bought for us to wear last night.
When our hair and make-up is finished, I follow her into the room to help with her dress.
We need Mum’s help because the huge princess gown is too heavy for me to lift over Siobhan’s head without wrecking her hair.
Once she has it on, it takes me a few minutes to tighten the lacing at the back while Mum sits on the bed, watching us both.
“That is the most perfect dress I’ve ever seen,” she says. “It was made for you.”
I stand back to admire her. She looks like an angel. I reach for the cathedral length veil and secure it below her bun.
“It’s a ton weight,” she laughs. “It’s a good job I’ve been doing weight training.”
She admires herself in the mirror and is pleased with what she sees then she snaps out of it when she realises that I’m still not dressed.
“The cars will be here soon,” she says. “Go get ready and make sure Helen is ready too.”
Weddings and Other Things I Hate Page 10