If He’s Wicked

by Hannah Howell

  It was a while before Chloe found the strength to even open her eyes. Her cheek was against his broad warm chest. Her favorite pillow, she mused with a smile. His lightly calloused hand was moving up and down her back in a caress that was more tender and comforting than sensual. Glancing up at him, she saw the faint, slightly smug smile of satisfaction he wore and decided this was the best time to tell him her news.

  “Julian, I am with child,” she said, reverently touching her still-flat belly.

  “I know.”

  She propped herself up on her elbows and frowned at him. “I know? That is all you have to say? And how did you know? Did your mother tell you?”

  He turned his head and kissed her on the tip of her nose. “No. She would never intrude that way. In truth, I strongly suspected it the night before we were attacked by Arthur.”

  “Ah, so it is no surprise.”

  “I can act surprised.”

  She laughed. “Nay. I certainly was surprised, which was foolish.”

  “The child you carried was one reason I was so terrified when you fell into Arthur’s hands.”

  “And what was the second reason?”

  “Because I love you.”

  Julian did not know whether to laugh or feel nervous when she just stared at him, her mouth agape and her eyes wide. She looked completely stunned and he was not sure why she should be. To him it was obvious from the moment he allowed the words to slip into his mind. The only thing he was not sure of now was whether or not she returned his feelings.

  “Nothing to say?” he finally prompted and to his horror, she burst into tears. “Chloe!” He wrapped his arms around her when she clung to him and cried all over his chest. “Hush, you will make yourself ill, and it is not good for the child for you to get so upset.”

  “Not upset,” she said against his chest. “Happy.”

  “This is happy? I am sorry, love, but this does not sound happy to me.”

  Fighting for some control, Chloe finally grasped a thread of it and held on until it grew strong enough to slow the fall of her tears. Her heart was so full it actually ached. She had never imagined he would just lie there and calmly say the words she had wanted to hear for so very long. Chloe had a wish to just sit there and savor the feeling of knowing he loved her, but he was starting to look uneasy and she took mercy on him.

  “I love you, too,” she whispered against his mouth and found herself the recipient of such a ferocious kiss that she feared they would both return to making love, and she needed to talk.

  “I feared you would never give me those words,” he said and trailed soft kisses over her cheeks.

  “You were afraid? And of me never saying I love you?”

  “Yes. I was very precise about what I felt we could share in a marriage, and never let you know that I was finding so many other things we shared, things I needed like the air I breathe.”

  “Such as what?”

  “This.”

  “This? You mean sharing a bed?” When he nodded she frowned. “Not every married couple shares their bed?”

  “No, and you will undoubtedly find that out after you have been in society for a few years. I had always thought that I would not like it, but I cannot think of why I would ever want to be alone in my bed again. Without you in it, it is unbearably cold and empty. Here is where we can be truly private, share secrets and worries and hurts. No, I never wish to have a bed without you in it.”

  “Then praise my ignorance, for if I had known that married couples in society do not usually share their beds, I would have dutifully gone off to mine every night no matter how much I hated to. Then we would never have known how wonderful this is. This and waking up to you in the morning.”

  “On that we also agree. I open my eyes and there you are and my day can begin. A smile from you and it begins even better.”

  She hugged him. “Careful, or you will make me cry again.”

  “Please, do not. I am only just beginning to dry out.” He laughed when she playfully slapped him. “Ah yes, and then there is laughter.”

  “Laughter is easily come by, Julian.”

  “Not for me. I found little to laugh about, and when I did there was a sharp biting edge to it. Occasionally, even a meanness of spirit.”

  “I cannot imagine the man who would accept three orphaned children in his home, make them part of his family, mean.”

  He took her chin in his hand and looked right into her eyes. “It was not mean of me to do that, but it was not all kindness and love at first. I was sunk in guilt for all that had been done to the people here. Those children were also victims because I allowed Beatrice and Arthur to run free here. It did not take long, however, for me to care for them as if they were my own.”

  “They are good children and readily understand that they are being given an excellent chance to be more than a servant for people like us. Your guilt, which I have never thought you should be feeling to begin with, may have opened the door, but it was not guilt that made you play with them, try to make them comfortable, and welcome all their noise now that they are comfortable. That was the goodness in you, the goodness that made me fall in love with you.”

  That flattery required a kiss, which led to another until they were both breathing heavily and sorely tempted to forgo any more conversation or revelations. Julian combed his fingers through her thick hair as he reminded her, “I was not very good when you found me in that alley.”

  “Nay, you were not. You were a very wicked man. But you were also doing no more than many men do, and, sad to say, that which many men continue to do even after they are wed. And that is another reason I love you. You believe in marriage, in upholding vows taken. Even when you could not conceive of sharing a bed or speaking of love, you meant to keep your vows to me and that shows a core of honor most men wish they had and most women covet.” She smiled when she saw the faint hint of a blush on his cheeks and brushed her fingers over it. “So there is a time and place where you are unable to endure flattery.”

  “Impudent wench,” he teased. “I can probably abide that a great deal more than I can the kind that says you are rich, fairly handsome, and titled.”

  “Oh, you are much more than fairly handsome,” she murmured as she kissed his neck. “You take my breath away, but I would still love you even if you spit and scratched your bottom every morning.”

  Julian sputtered with laughter. “Spit and scratch my bottom? Do you know someone who does this?” Then he narrowed his eyes. “And I am now thinking that you better not know what some other man does when he wakes in the morning.”

  “I speak of one of my brothers only. And he always did it just to annoy me.”

  Julian held her close in his arms and idly smoothed his hand over her still-flat belly. “You are well?”

  “Very well. I still must be careful of what I eat in the morning, but nothing else troubles me. I am rather hoping for a girl.”

  “All I want is for both you and the babe to be healthy. But why do you want to have a girl?”

  “I was hoping that if I have a girl, you will allow me to call her Laurel, after my sister.”

  “That would please me.”

  “Thank you. Oh, Julian, I do love you so much, and I was so afraid that I would never hear those words from you. I knew I felt more than a mere liking when we married, but I decided to settle for what you first offered.” She lightly placed her fingers over his lips when he started to speak. “I do not complain. You offered me far more than many women get. But so many marriages in my family crumble into dust that I was afraid anything less than some great love would fail, too.”

  “Chloe, I think we have a great love.”

  “Oh, aye, so do I, and do you know one reason why?”

  “Because we have both seen each other at our worst.”

  “I have never seen you at anything that even approaches a worst.”

  “Nay? Have I not been a whiny little nuisance this last fortnight as I healed from that
wound?” she asked, surprised that he did not see how bad a patient she was.

  “Chloe, love, everyone hates to be stuck abed like that and ends up short-tempered.”

  “You were not.”

  “Oh, I fear I was, but never when you were around. I also had a lot to keep me occupied, and that helps. But I think it might not be wise to try to see who has the greatest faults, for we could inadvertently hurt each other’s feelings. What does it matter? As you said”—he grinned—“you would love me even if I spit and scratched my bottom in the morning.”

  Chloe laughed. She was a little startled when she caught him watching her laugh yet only smiled himself. “Do I have food in my teeth?”

  “No, love. I just like the sound of it.” He kissed the blush that flooded her cheeks. “I used to laugh and be foolish but I lost it somewhere. I had not realized how much I missed it until you gave it back to me. I do believe the way you could make me smile and laugh, the way you would tease, was what stirred the seed of love inside me.” He leaned back a little and looked at her warily. “Are you going to cry again?”

  “Nay, just a moment’s weakness. That was the loveliest thing that has ever been said to me. I was just trying to think of what you gave me and what made me start to really fall in love with you, and it does not sound as lovely as that.”

  “Tell me anyway,” he demanded as he rolled her onto her back and sprawled on top of her.

  “You will laugh.”

  “Not at something that you think is serious, not at something you tell me that is straight from the heart.”

  “I really liked the way you could make me feel so wicked,” she whispered against his chest and felt as if her cheeks were on fire from embarrassment.

  Julian tilted her face up to his. “Wicked? You say I made you feel wicked?”

  “All the time. I had assumed because of your year of debauchery you would be a very wicked man, but that was not the way it was at all.”

  “Except when I did this?” He kissed the hollow at the base of her ear.

  “Aye,” she said and shivered when he trailed his hands up and down her back. “I suppose it seems a bit foolish to a man like you who has done so much—”

  “And remembers so very little of it. But, love, no man would ever think it is foolish that his wife feels wicked in his arms, and when he kisses her.”

  “That is good, because I believe I am feeling a little bit wicked right now.”

  “You have chosen the right man to tend to that.”

  Chloe squirmed against him, smiling as she felt his ready response. “I know,” she said. “My wicked cavalier,” she whispered.

  Julian brushed his lips over hers and whispered, “My laughter, my joy.”

  Epilogue

  Eight and a half months later

  “Why is it taking so long?”

  Leo grinned as he watched Julian pace the length of the green salon, Anthony right behind him. “I believe the birth of a child takes a little work and a little time. Chloe did not really get started on it until three hours ago.”

  “It is a good thing I listened to you.” Julian turned sharply and paced in the opposite direction, Anthony mimicking his move. “If I had given into her wish to wait a while, we might be trying to explain a seventh-month baby.”

  “Little rabbits,” Leo said cheerfully.

  Julian paused to stare at him. “You enjoy being proven right entirely too much.”

  “How uncivilized of me.”

  “Quite right. However, the words are emblazoned upon my mind.”

  “Very wise. You would not want to have to add too many more bedrooms.”

  Nigel strode into the room. “Baby born yet?”

  “No. I am hoping it will have the courtesy to arrive soon,” replied Julian.

  “Ah, good of it. Bened and I have plans to go to the Rectonshires’ stables and see a mare.” Nigel laughed when Julian glared at him. “At least Chloe is not bringing the roof down with her screaming.”

  Julian frowned up at the ceiling. “You are right. It is too quiet. Something must be wrong.” Julian felt his heart clench with fear.

  “Nay, Pegeen is with her,” Leo said.

  “She is such a skilled midwife that women make no sound?”

  Leo shrugged. “Most of the women in the family insist that she attend them at their births, and very few of them scream or shout out bloodthirsty threats against their husbands.”

  “She did seem to be a capable woman,” Julian murmured.

  “Pegeen is a healer. She has the touch. She is especially good at taking away your pain.”

  “The military could use someone like that,” said Nigel as he poured himself a drink.

  “And she has helped them on occasion, but treating too many at a time leaves her dangerously weak. However, no one can help a woman with birthing her child like Pegeen can, and she is kept very busy with our family.”

  Julian nodded. “A healer. I can accept that.”

  “Still having trouble with Chloe’s choice of Modred as a godfather? He is a duke.”

  “Not as much trouble as I had before. He told me the Kenwoods have very strong walls. It is Cassandra I am not too certain about.”

  “I have not met Cassandra, but Bened says she is a strong woman,” said Nigel and then he grinned. “When Bened says that he usually means tart-tongued and bossy.”

  Julian was surprised he could do so, but he laughed. “I chose Edgar and Lady Marston.”

  “So there will be two strong women as godmothers. God help you if you have a daughter.”

  “It does not trouble me. I would want her to be strong. I have recently come to realize that our mother is a very strong woman. So is Aunt Mildred. The only time our aunt stumbled during the ordeal with Arthur was when she realized how many people he had killed and how many crimes he had committed. That weighed her down with a monstrous burden of guilt, for she felt she should have seen the evil in the man and done something. She shook it off with the help of Mother and Chloe.”

  “Good to know, for she did not deserve to suffer it. And just what is wrong with Modred, aside from being cursed with that name? I asked Bened, but he just said that his cousin is a special man.”

  Julian explained what Modred’s gift was and grinned at the look of horror on Nigel’s face. “Do not look so afraid. As I said, he told me we Kenwoods have very strong walls.” Before there was time for him to say anything, his mother walked in. “Is Chloe well?”

  Lady Evelyn kissed him on the cheek. “Very well. Go and see your wife and new family.”

  Julian did not need a second invitation. He hurried up the stairs, leaving his mother to tend to Anthony and the other curious children. Just as he was about to knock on the door of the master bedchamber, a plump dark-haired woman opened the door for him, gave him a wink, and left.

  “The infamous Pegeen, I presume,” he said as he cautiously walked to the bed and looked down.

  Julian did not know whether to sit down or fall down. Chloe lay on the bed, her hair spread out prettily on the pillow and a wriggling swaddled baby tucked up in each arm. He stared at her again and then stared at what she held again.

  “Two?” he finally managed to croak out.

  “Two.” Chloe was tired and her body felt as someone had beaten her up from the inside out, but she felt exhilarated as well. “One boy.” She slightly lifted her left arm and Julian noticed there was a blue ribbon tied on the corner of the blanket. “One girl.” She slightly lifted her right arm.

  He sat down on the bed, his head reeling. “Damnation, woman. Two?” He stared down into the sleeping faces of his children.

  “Laurel, after my sister, and George, after my father.” She glanced at him a little uncertainly. “If that still pleases you.”

  “It does.” He suddenly grinned at her. “You certainly solved the problem of how to not disappoint at least one of the other children. The girl wanted a girl and the boys wanted a boy. One of each will keep them all q
uiet.” He kissed her. “I love and thank you for giving me this.”

  “Ah, nay, thank you. I always feared I would never find the right man and never have children.” Chloe winked at him and looked at her children. “Mayhap the Fates are just making certain that I know you are my right man. My wicked cavalier.”

  He smiled and rubbed his nose against hers. “My joy.”

  “We are so well suited it is a little embarrassing.”

  “No, m’dear, we are just perfect and we should glory in it.” He laughed with her and reached for his daughter, ready to introduce himself to her. “We will do as Jake’s wife has suggested, however, so that you do not wear yourself out having a dozen children.”

  Chloe just smiled as she watched him look his children over with an adoration he did not even try to hide. She decided it would be best if she kept what she had seen during the birthing all to herself. Julian would worry if she told him that despite the tricks Jake’s wife had told her about how to keep a man’s seed from taking root too often, they would be having those dozen children. She had seen them with them all, with Anthony grown tall and strong, and the three children they had taken under their wing. And each one of the children she and Julian would create would be blessed with a gift. Recalling how big a smile he had worn on his handsome face as his flock had gathered around him, she decided he would not mind.

  Please turn the page

  for an exciting sneak peek of

  IF HE’S SINFUL,

  coming in December 2009!

  London—fall, 1788

  There was something about having a knife to one’s throat that tended to bring a certain clarity to one’s opinion of one’s life, Penelope decided. She stood very still as the burly, somewhat odiferous, man holding her clumsily adjusted his grip. Suddenly, all of her anger and resentment over being treated as no more than a lowly maid by her step-sister seemed petty, the problem insignificant.