Documentary

by Sand, A. J.

  Rihanna’s “Only Girl in the World” started to blare from the speakers as she and Wes danced, and she pulled him up to a low platform a couple girls had just stepped down from. It was about a foot off the ground, and two other girls were dancing on the one across from them. Wes danced behind her with his hands on her hips as she swung them to the thump of the music. He was screeching in a high-pitched tone, in a pointless attempt to match Rihanna’s voice, right into Dylan’s ear. She cringed and turned around to face him.

  “Wes, honey, make sure you stick with surfing,” she said, patting him on the chest. He scowled, hugged her closer and sang even louder.

  “I’m an awesome singer,” he said, throwing his hands in the air. As the song transitioned to something else, he pumped one fist and twirled around in a circle but stopped abruptly before making a full rotation. “Oh… crap. He’s here.”

  Dylan turned her head only just realizing that they had a direct view into their VIP area. Kai was standing at the railing watching them even as he talked to one of the many girls Abel had invited in there. And why does he have to look so sexy right now? He was wearing a black Lava baseball cap and a black polo shirt with his jeans and black Nikes, his usual uniform. Their eyes connected, her chest clenched and she looked away. She hoped he hated every minute of seeing her up there.

  “So what?” she said.

  “So what? Oh… you want him to see. Girl, you got a lot of evil under there,” Wes said, tapping her nose with his finger. He glanced at Kai and gulped down. His glare at Wes was murderous. “I’m wondering how long he’s been looking over here…‘cause right now he looks like he wants to rip my head off and drink the blood from my neck.”

  “Wes… really?” Dylan made a face but Kai did look pissed.

  “He’s all psycho, no smolder. And that poor girl is better off talking to a brick wall or a handsome surfer named Wesley Abraham Elliott than hanging all over Kai White right now.” Wes backed away from her. “Sorry, baby, I gotta go check on my boy. And I know he was being a complete asswipe earlier but ease up on him. He’s crazy about you.”

  “Whatever.” Dylan crossed her arms and kept bobbing to the beat, but she wanted to go check on him too.

  “You’re mad at me now?” Wes asked, incredulous, after he stepped down to the dance floor. He threw his arms in the air in exasperation.

  “No, I’m not.” She leaned over and hugged him. “Thanks for hanging out with me.” She released him but pulled on his arm before he walked away. “Wes…he’s been drinking a lot the past several shows. Today too. He won’t talk to me, we’re not really talking, so…just…please just…”

  “Aw, look at you…” he said with a knowing smile. “Yeah, I got it.”

  “Shut up. Bye,” she said with a dismissive wave and a smirk. She stepped down off the platform when Wes meandered away, and there was no shortage of potential dance partners to take his place. If only she could bring herself to pay even the slightest ounce of attention to any one of them, like the one who was pressed up against her back several minutes, and several songs, later. Especially when Kai was still staring at her.

  He had been flirting with women who came over to him, even letting one of them slip her hand under his polo shirt. Dylan felt like someone was shoving a spear through her chest, but she realized that she had been worried for nothing because the playing field was leveled in a nightclub. He was pretty and he had fame, but she was a woman in a nightclub. The parade of women seemed to bore him the longer he watched her, and he started blowing off any woman who came up to him. Wes had shot her an apologetic look when he tried to pull Kai away from the railing, but he had shrugged him off. They were torturing each other, and Dylan knew she should’ve just turned around or moved to another part of the club, but she couldn’t.

  He couldn’t either.

  “…Ool?” the guy behind her asked. Dylan spun with a smile, still moving her body to the music. His name was Tim, he went to University of Georgia, his family was on vacation, and he was insanely attractive. A great distraction. But not Kai.

  “Sorry, that was my favorite part of the song. I missed what you said,” she shouted, smiling wider to cover her lie as she circled her arms over his shoulders.

  “No problem. I asked when do you head back to school?”

  “Early January, I’ll be back in San Fran.” He was nice from what she could remember from their conversation when she had managed to concentrate long enough to listen. She just wasn’t feeling it.

  Tim hugged his arms around her waist, his hand inadvertently grazing her butt. He pulled it away immediately. His mouth moved but she shook her head and made a face, pulling his face closer to her ear. “Where else does the tour go after Fort Lauderdale?”

  “California after Christmas, actually, and then back to Miami for Wintervention again,” she said. Tim’s brow creased and he pointed to his ear. He leaned forward, pulled her closer by gripping her hips and his lips brushed her ear.

  “We’d hear each other better outside on the patio, and I kinda need a cigarette. You have a bracelet and I have a stamp…” His voice trailed off. “Uh…”

  “Dylan!” Someone was screaming her name behind her, and when she turned she ran straight into Kai. She got angry after being startled.

  “What?” she shouted up at him, raising her shoulders. “What? I thought you wanted nothing to do with me?” Kai sneered at Tim as he sidestepped Dylan.

  Wes was behind him, looking annoyed. “I tried,” he yelled in earnest at Dylan. He walked over to her side. “One minute he tells me he needs some air, then I see him hopping over the damn railing.” Wes threw his hands up. “Oh come on! She’s leaving!” He watched a girl and her friends slip out of VIP, and he sounded so disheartened that it was almost funny. “I can’t be Leko tonight.”

  “Then leave it the fuck alone, Wes,” Kai shouted. Wes moved until he was next to Kai.

  “I give zero fucks about you acting like a complete ass, Kai, but I do care about you doing it in front of her.” Wes whipped his finger in the direction of Dylan. “For your own fucking sake.”

  Kai looked away from Wes to Tim, glowering, eyes narrowing, and he laughed without any delight. “Why the fuck are you still standing here?” He took steps toward Tim until he was right in his face.

  “Because he’s dancing with me. Why are you here? Why the fuck are you here?” she screamed at Kai. “Go away.”

  Kai looked at her momentarily before going back to Tim. “You think it’s okay to touch her like that?” Kai looked at Dylan, his face softening slightly. “He was ten seconds from grabbing your ass.”

  Dylan smirked and jabbed Kai in the chest with her finger before crossing her arms over her own. “And? So what if he was?”

  Kai laughed, somewhat maniacally, firing a snarl at Tim before he held her face in his hands gently as he smiled. “Then, he’d be grabbing for someone to help him off the fucking floor. And he’d need a doctor.”

  “Don’t worry about who’s touching me.” Dylan pulled his hands away roughly.

  “How the hell can I not, Dyl?” he fired back.

  “Dude, you’re not on Akuna anymore,” Wes said before he pushed Kai back once. “Ignore him,” Wes said to Tim, and it sounded like a preemptive warning. “Please, just ignore him. He’s stupid.” To Kai, he said, “Dude, you should consider letting Jesus take the wheel sometimes.” Wes looked like he was in over his head, but he managed to drag Kai away through the crowd. Kai started to walk back toward them, but a girl next to them whispered to her friend and pointed at him. The friend gasped and screamed, pulling on his arm.

  “Whoa.” Tim was bewildered, but the shock and fear soon drained from his face. With a light laugh, he said, “Was that Kai White? What was th—”

  Holding Tim’s hand, she pulled him closer to her and shouted, “It’s nothing. My jacket is in VIP. I’ll be right back.” Past the velvet ropes, she plunged into the pile of coats on one of the couches, looking for hers. She knew sh
e should’ve told Tim then that she wasn’t interested, but it was too awkward right in the moment after Kai had caused that scene. She’d just make up some excuse about her friends demanding that she stay inside because they wanted to do shots. Dancing she could handle, but she’d be terrible company tonight if she actually had to talk for real. And she knew she’d have to explain why things had gotten so embarrassing.

  “You’re really gonna leave with him?” She stood slowly, heart rate picking up speed, as she turned to look at Kai, who was leaning against the barricade.

  “Yup. You know how that works,” she said curtly. Dylan snatched her jacket up and stepped to the railing, right next him, trying to adjust to the sudden acceleration of blood flow through her body. It was like a dam had burst.

  “Lots of trouble to go through when you don’t really give a shit.” Kai shook his head. “Is this payback? Is that what this is? Why are you even mad?”

  Dylan pressed her lips together in silence, momentarily set off-kilter by his words. Her sudden, involuntary cackle sailed into the air. She pivoted to him and propped her hands on her hips. “Payback. Oh, you must mean for having girls all over you in front of me. I’m not even talking about the fans right at the shows. And how do you know I was mad…because you’re mad right now?” Wes is right. We’re couple fighting, she mused, trying not to laugh.

  “I’m not mad.” Kai drew her closer by pulling her toward him, gripping her upper arms, and he ran his thumbs along her collarbones. Right into her ear, he said, “I’m fucking fuming.” He smelled of alcohol. Unless his liver was made of steel, he would be flat on his ass soon in a club full of people with cell phone cameras if he kept drinking. Also, tomorrow was a huge day, and she was considerably disappointed in him for being irresponsible.

  “You look good. I like this shirt. I can see your skin, but it’s still covered…that’s sexy…” Her face heated up when he lowered his hand to her stomach and grazed it through the thin fabric. Dylan slapped it away. He smiled because he knew he was getting to her and that kind of pissed her off. Dylan looked out into the crowd, searching for Tim to signal that she would be back in a second, if he hadn’t run away screaming yet. If Wes thinks I’m evil now… but her eyes widened when she found him actually talking to Wes.

  “What the hell? What is he doing?”

  “Is that Wes talking to the guy you were with? I have no idea.” There was no heightened inflection in his tone as he feigned ignorance. He hadn’t even bothered to muster up a believable reaction, either. His smile was unapologetic when she turned to look at him.

  Then Dylan watched as Tim turned away from Wes and disappeared into the oscillating abyss of bodies. Wes locked conspiratorial eyes with Kai and shot a half smile at Dylan before he clutched some unknown woman’s hand and vanished, too.

  “Wow, you just sent him away,” she accused Kai with annoyance. She drove her index finger into his chest. “In fact, you sent your friend to do it. You guys are the worst. I’m starting to think this night must have been personally approved by Hell.”

  “How do you know I had something to do with that?” Kai asked, nearly bursting as he tried not to laugh. “Aw, you liked him?” he added, almost mockingly, bumping her arm.

  “I didn’t really get the chance to find out,” she said sharply, rolling her eyes. Not that she had been truly interested in doing so.

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Kai said as laughter weaved through his words. “He seems lame. If it were me, I would’ve thrown him through a wall for doing what I did.”

  Dylan sighed. “You’re really un-fucking-believable.”

  “Haha. You put fucking in the middle of words,” Kai said, doubling over.

  “Kai, you meet girls all the time.” Gripping the railing, she shook her head, unsure of what to feel. She wavered between amusement and infuriation. It was funny that he was jealous, but how dare he claim her while he messed around with other women? “Yet, you have no problem interfering, apparently, when I meet guys. I thought you wanted to forget me?”

  “Fine, go after him. Go. Ggg—fucking—o,” he said, gesturing with his hand.

  “You’re an idiot,” she remarked after shaking her head again. She tried her best to look mad, but his words made her want to laugh.

  “Chill out. I won’t stop you. You’re right. I have no right,” Kai said. He was serious this time. “Wes only told him you’d meet him outside in a few. Have a good night…if you’re going. Just be safe. Wes and I both have our phones on.” The sadness washing over his eyes betrayed his words. It looked like it was killing him to say what he’d just said.

  “That was mean, what you did down there…”

  “Childish,” he added. “Wes’ word before I told him he owed me one.”

  “Were you really gonna hit him?”

  “Of course not, unless he had done something you didn’t want him to do. Then I would’ve done it…with pleasure.” Kai plucked off his Lava hat and absently squeezed the bill into a tighter curve. “I haven’t slept with anyone since you joined the project,” he admitted. “Just so you know.”

  “Congrats. Congratu-fucking-lations, Kai. Would you like for me to start slow clapping?” she said sarcastically. “Anyway, I won’t be saying the same after tonight.”

  Kai flinched before a hurt expression flashed on his face. She hadn’t meant it, but the stress and the anger about everything she’d been feeling the past few days needed to come out. Dylan swung her jacket over her shoulders, but she knew immediately she would want him to stop her when she left. And she was too scared to find out if he would or not.

  “You know, just ‘cause you're the one with a camera doesn't mean you're the only one who sees,” Kai said suddenly, placing his hand on top of hers. “You know what I see? It drives me crazy when you bite your lip. You do it when you’re in a really, really deep thought. Or when you’re nervous. It drives me crazy because I always want to know what it is you’re thinking. You do it when you’re filming too. You always play with your hair, and when I see you do it, I always want to touch it, too. You laugh at that stupid story of Zave’s no matter how many times he tells you. You laugh until your eyes water, and you’re laughing and crying at the same time, which always makes you laugh harder.

  “This is the stuff I remember when I’m trying so fucking hard not to. And don’t worry I stopped drinking a while ago. I only had one drink here. Didn’t even finish it. It wasn’t helping, anyway. I’ve been drinking water ever since. I wanted to tell you all of this while I was relatively sober.” Turning toward her completely, Kai stroked her cheek. He traced the curve of her ear and down the side of her neck until his fingers took a delicate hold at the nape while his thumb brushed her jaw. “I love the smell of your hair when I hug you…and how soft your skin is. And I think about those things and they make me happy. They make me want you so badly. So fucking badly. I don’t know if it was ever real for you, but it’s only ever been real for me.”

  Truth – Chapter 18

  Kai was right to place his faith in words, Dylan thought. They were too powerful. They could be like a knife to the soul, lacerating something that perhaps could never be fixed. Like when a doctor tells your parents that tonight will be the last night of your brother's life. They could destroy.

  But they could also make you feel like you could fly, a butterfly freed from a jar, going up and up, until you suddenly wanted to fall back to Earth just so you could hear them again. He had just done that.

  Dylan sucked in a short breath and put her hand on top of his as his other hand moved to her waist. Her heart seized in gratitude, relieved that he didn’t really hate her. She knew he didn’t but it was nice to hear, and she wanted to tell him that she wanted him, too. And that she really missed hanging out with him and talking to him and hearing him laugh. “Kai…”

  He shook his head and pressed an unblinking stare into her. “Let me finish. It might not mean much, but I haven’t slept with anybody. Sometimes, I just w
ant someone else there, just present, so I don’t have to think about you for five fucking seconds, and it didn’t work, anyway. I miss the shit out of you, Dylan.” Not the most romantic thing to say, but her heart was on the verge of exploding. Kai looking at her like that almost made her want to be reckless right there in the club and just kiss him.

  But a camera flashed to her left. She jumped back from him and reality stole the moment away. It was a bunch of girls photographing themselves, but she suddenly remembered that they were in public where a tender instant like that could land her in a lot of trouble. Dylan shook her head, feeling flustered, not knowing what to say.

  “I know…you can’t. I guess I just had to tell you how I felt,” Kai said. He sounded defeated and battle worn. He simply turned and walked out of VIP.

  Yes, it was about work, but there was more going on. Winslow was right about her. She was actively fighting against her own happiness. It was a strange punishment to impose on herself, but it had become second nature lately. She could’ve stopped Kai and told him she cared. They could’ve talked about what would happen after her assignment ended. But she hadn’t said a thing.

  He didn’t look back, but she trailed him with her gaze to the dance floor. A shrill of thrilled screams rose up from a group of women when he introduced himself to them. Dylan swallowed down the awful feeling tightening her throat. One step forward, two steps back into the arms of someone else. But how much could she fault him? She never went after him, and she never gave him a reason to stay. Dylan made a beeline for outside, ignoring Tim’s calls after her, and took a cab back to the hotel. She sent Wes a text telling him she was leaving, citing that she was really tired.