She grimaced. “Do you really think she’d choose Tommy over you?”
“Maybe she’d be better off if she’d chosen him to begin with.”
Shania didn’t respond right away. She followed his gaze to the horizon and they stood in silence for a long time, listening to the waves crash against the rocks.
“Do you love her, Alec?”
He scowled at her. “What kind of question is that?”
“I mean, do you love her like you should? Do you love her enough to go home tomorrow and do whatever it takes to make things right again? Are you willing to sacrifice things that you want in order to make her happy? Because if you aren’t, or if you can’t, then maybe the truly loving thing on your part would be to let her go.”
Her words struck a raw nerve, which told him that she was spot on. Did he love his wife? Of course he did. But had he lived up to that sentiment? Had he done what he’d vowed to do by placing her wants and needs above his own?
No. He could see plainly now that he hadn’t…although that didn’t mean he couldn’t change if she gave him the chance to try.
“Let me put it this way,” she said. “What was it about her that was different?”
“Different than what?”
“Different than me.”
When his eyebrows shot up, Shania gave a crooked grin. “That’s not an accusation,” she added. “I’m just trying to get you to think. I mean, you were able to let me go easily enough.”
Alec narrowed his eyes. “There was nothing easy about letting you go.”
She conceded the point with a nod. “Fine, then…you were able to let me go. But when Rebecca left, you went after her. You brought her home and you asked her to marry you. Why?”
He tried and failed to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Because whatever your answer is, that’s what you’ve lost sight of,” Shania explained. “And the only way you’re going to get her back is if you remember why you chose her in the first place.”
Chapter 28
Alec cringed at the thought now, but the first time he met Rebecca, he assumed she was with Tommy.
It was almost five years ago, the week before the summer season started. A couple of ranchers were up from Pinedale to try out two horses that Alec was selling, and the three of them were working cattle in the corral. When they were finished, Alec noticed Tommy standing in the parking lot beside a girl in a black cowboy hat. Tommy had never brought anyone to the ranch before, so naturally Alec was curious.
The second Tommy introduced her, though, Alec realized that she was a Yankee. He spent every summer catering to her high-maintenance types, so he sure as hell didn’t want one working for him. He was quickly informed that she was from Boston, not New York; only later would he be educated about the rivalry.
But even though his instincts told him otherwise, he saw no reason not to trust Tommy. Besides, he was short-staffed for the season and if she and Tommy had already hit it off, even better.
So he hired her on the spot, but it wasn’t until the next day that he got his first clear look at her. His initial impression was that she wasn’t his type…yet he found himself thinking about her long after she left his office. Something in her eyes told him that she had a hard time trusting people, just like he did. He also sensed that she’d been forced to make some very difficult decisions at a young age, something else they had in common.
What’s wrong with you? he finally scolded himself. Why did it matter what they had in common? He was her employer and she was only here for the summer and that was the end of the story.
Besides, she was dating Tommy…or so Alec thought. He wouldn’t discover until much later that she and Tommy weren’t and never had been together.
Not that it mattered, of course, as Alec had no intention of getting involved with her.
But fate, it seemed, had other plans in store for them. As the summer wore on–and as much as he tried to fight it–he felt more and more drawn to her. He knew long before that day in Las Vegas that he was in love with her, but she was leaving to finish college and he was staying right where he was.
Why start something that would only end in heartbreak? He’d already been down that road with Shania and he had no desire to travel it again. And if he couldn’t fit a relationship into his life at twenty-four, he certainly couldn’t fit one in at twenty-nine, now that he was his father’s caregiver and the sole manager of the ranch.
It all sounded very logical in his head, so he was startled when–for the first time ever–his heart began to question his mind.
What was it about her that was different?
He’d just stumbled upon the answer to Shania’s question. That was what was different, he realized. Yes, he felt guilty over the way he’d ended things with Shania, but in the end logic won out. To pursue a relationship with Shania at that point was completely illogical, so as soon as she walked out the door, he knew it was over.
The day Rebecca walked out the door, though…that was a whole different story.
In a way, he’d actually hoped that he wouldn’t be released from the hospital until after she left for Boston. He’d just endured the most horrific two weeks he could ever imagine–hell, he’d come within an inch of losing his life–so his usually stable emotions were in an upheaval. He didn’t trust himself to keep his distance if they found themselves alone. His world was still spiraling around him, and Rebecca seemed like the perfect place to land.
But it was more than that, too. What happened between them that night went far beyond any physical desire. She’d told him so much about her past and the abuse she suffered from her stepfather and her ex-boyfriend. All her life she’d been victimized and manipulated by men, never more than an object to be used and cast aside.
She’d never once experienced true intimacy. She’d never once felt the touch of a man who was seeking her gratification over his own.
He couldn’t let her go until he’d given her that.
So even though he knew she was leaving in the morning, that’s exactly what he did. He made love to her in a way that he never had with anyone else, probably because he loved her like he’d never loved anyone else. Yes, their physical chemistry was intense…but it was nothing compared to what was happening inside his heart.
As much as he’d cared for Shania, after she left he instinctively knew that he would move on someday and find someone else. But that night, looking into Rebecca’s eyes, he realized that with her it was just the opposite. There would never be anyone else. There never could be anyone else; not after this. When she left in the morning, she was going to take all of him with her.
And that’s exactly what she did. He wanted so badly to ask her to stay with him, but he’d already vowed that he wouldn’t make her decision for her. The choice had to be hers and hers alone.
Just as he predicted, she chose to return to Boston, leaving him no choice but to return to his life of monotony. Except everything was different now. He tried to settle back into his usual routines, but he’d never felt more unsettled. He tried to sleep at night, but the sheets still held the subtle scent of her skin. He traded lunch and dinner for beer and whiskey, as that seemed to be the only thing that could dull the sting of her absence.
All the time, he could feel his father’s watchful eyes upon him, but it wasn’t until two months had passed that Walter finally spoke his mind. “Son,” he said gently. “You’d better find a way to pull yourself together.”
Alec was already three sheets to the wind and in no frame of mind to argue. “I know, Pop,” he admitted, reaching once again for the liquor cabinet. “I just don’t know how.”
Everything changed the day he was driving down to Fort Collins, Colorado, for the annual fall cattle auction. His cell phone chirped from the passenger’s seat, but he didn’t check his messages until later that evening. When he heard Rebecca’s voice, his entire world came to a halt.
�
��It’s me,” she said softly. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”
A solid lump formed in his throat as he listened to the rest of her message, especially once she said that the reason she left was because she wasn’t good enough for him.
No, he wanted to tell her. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Alec tossed and turned that night, unable to get her words out of his mind. Finally, just before dawn, he pushed himself out of bed and headed for his truck. On his way through the parking lot, a splash of color caught his eye–a lone stalk of Indian paintbrush in the otherwise bleak landscape.
He’d never believed in signs before, but if that wasn’t a sign he didn’t know what was.
He bypassed the livestock pavilion and sped down the interstate until he reached the parking garage of the Denver airport. He’d never been on a plane before, but that didn’t stop him from walking right up to the counter and purchasing a seat on the next flight to Boston. He wasn’t sure where to go when he arrived; only when he entered the airport and saw the enormous wall mural of the city did he realize where he’d find her.
My favorite place in the whole city is the swan pond in the Public Garden, she’d once told him. I go there every chance I get and listen to music, read a book, or just sit and think.
Had she gone there today to sit and think about him?
As it turned out, she had. Their reunion was–up until that point–the most joyful moment of his life. And even though it would be his turn to get on a plane and leave in the morning, this time it was different. This time it was a beginning, not an ending.
Sure enough, at the end of the semester Rebecca caught the first possible flight to Jackson. When Alec arrived at the airport and saw her walking towards him, everything that was wrong in his life was suddenly made right.
Would their life together be a fairy tale? Far from it. Would they face challenges and hardships? Absolutely. But would they stick together and find a way to work through it?
Of course they would. He’d never been more certain of anything.
Alec opened his arms and she melted into him, pressing her lips to his. They kissed for the longest time, right there in the middle of the terminal, oblivious to anyone who might be watching them. Finally Alec pulled back and cupped her face in his hands, drinking in her eyes and her smile that he’d missed so much.
“Welcome home,” he whispered.
*
From the day she moved back to Wyoming, Alec knew he was going to ask Rebecca to marry him. The only questions were when and how.
He still recalled how anxious he felt the night he asked Jeff to meet him for a drink. Rebecca had been back in Jackson for about four months, and while Alec and Jeff were becoming friends, he still had no idea how Jeff was going to react.
As always, Jeff was wearing his Red Sox cap when Alec entered the sports bar. “Hey there, boss man,” Jeff greeted.
Alec smiled, wondering if Jeff would still call him that when they were brothers-in-law. “Thanks for meeting me,” he replied as he settled on the nearest stool.
They knocked back a few shots of Crown and made small talk for a while before Jeff folded his hands on the bar. “So what’s up?”
Alec didn’t know why he was so nervous–Jeff was Rebecca’s brother, not her father. He was fiercely protective of his sister, though, probably more than any father of any girl Alec had ever known. He knew he didn’t need Jeff’s permission, but he felt that asking him was the respectful thing to do.
Rather than responding, Alec reached into his pocket and produced the black velvet box he’d picked up earlier that day. He popped it open and set it on the bar top, studying Jeff’s reaction closely.
Jeff didn’t bother to mask his surprise; his eyes only widened when he picked up the box to study the diamond solitaire. “Damn, Alec. Are you trying to make the rest of us look bad?”
“No. It’s not about that.”
And it wasn’t. Yes, it was a flashy ring, and yes, it cost him a small fortune. But he had both the means and the desire to do it, so he couldn’t justify giving her anything less.
Jeff inspected the ring for what felt like an eternity before he set it back on the bar. “So do you want my opinion or my approval?”
“Both would be nice.”
For the first time since Alec produced the ring, Jeff looked directly at him. “She’s only twenty-two.”
“I know.”
“She has her whole life ahead of her.”
Alec nodded. “Believe me, Jeff, I know.”
Jeff fell silent as he studied the ring. “But you did take a bullet for her,” he added, almost to himself. “And I’m guessing you’d be willing to do it again.”
“In a heartbeat.”
When Jeff gave a wry grin, Alec knew that he wasn’t going to fight him. “Well, I never thought she’d end up with a crusty old cowboy like you,” he said, sliding the ring back to Alec. “But I’ve never seen her as happy as she’s been since she moved back here. I’m going to have to blame you for that.”
“Go right ahead,” Alec replied. “At first I was thinking that I would wait a while, maybe until she’d finished grad school. But I don’t see any point in putting it off that long. She’s always been on her own and she’s always had to fend for herself. I want her to know that it doesn’t need to be that way anymore. I don’t think she needs to be a certain age before she gets to experience real security in her life.”
Jeff’s expression didn’t change. “And you think you can give that to her?”
“You know I can.”
A surge of relief flooded his veins when Jeff placed a hand on his shoulder. “You know if you ever hurt her, you’ll have to answer to me, right?”
Alec chuckled. “Don’t worry, Jeff. I don’t plan on it.”
*
A few weeks later, Alec surprised Rebecca with two plane tickets to Las Vegas.
It was the end of her final semester, which provided the perfect excuse to sneak away for the weekend and celebrate. He reserved a suite in the Venetian resort, since they’d missed their chance to stay there the previous summer. For two days they barely left the room, opting for room service and lounging in bed to extravagant meals and nightlife.
On their last night, though, Alec insisted on taking her to the restaurant where they’d shared their first date nine months earlier. All evening, the ring was burning a hole in his pocket, but he forced himself to wait.
It wasn’t hard to focus his attention on Rebecca; she looked sensational in her black backless dress. Every few minutes, though, his gaze would drift to her hand, and he’d try to envision how the ring would look on her finger.
“To surviving your first four years of college,” he said.
She smiled and touched her glass to his before she took a long sip of champagne. “This has been such a great weekend,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder. “I don’t ever want it to end.”
“So let’s stay here forever. We’ll lock ourselves in the room and never come out.”
“Wouldn’t that be nice?” Rebecca tilted her face up to kiss his cheek. “I’ll be right back.”
He watched her gather her purse and head for the restroom, moving gracefully between the tables. Then, for the hundredth time that night, he slid his hand into his pocket and toyed with the velvet box. He could do it right now, he realized. He could drop the ring into her glass and give her the biggest surprise of her life the next time she took a sip.
Yes. It was perfect.
Needing no further convincing, Alec removed the ring from its box and casually dropped it into her champagne flute. His hands were shaking when he placed the empty box back in his pocket and released a silent breath.
It was done. The ring sat at the bottom of the glass, surrounded by a sea of golden bubbles. Now he just had to pretend like nothing was out of the ordinary until she saw it.
Their server appeared, wordlessly delivering their salads. When she turned away and Alec saw
Rebecca returning to the table, his heart leapt into his throat all over again.
“Miss me?” she whispered as she slid in beside him.
“Always.”
She grinned and reached for her fork. “Why don’t we take a walk after dinner?”
Obviously she couldn’t hear how hard his heart was pounding. “A walk?”
“Yeah? Just along the Strip. I mean, this is my second time here and I haven’t seen anything outside our room.”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”
Rebecca giggled and touched his leg, sending another jolt through his veins. “You’re not eating.”
The last thing on Alec’s mind right now was the salad on his plate. Obediently, though, he picked up his fork, forcing himself not to glance at the ring.
“Actually, you know where I’d like to go?” she added, finally reaching for her flute. “I saw an ad for this dessert bar at the–”
She stopped mid-sentence when her eyes landed on the object inside her glass. She frowned in confusion as she lifted her glass to inspect it; then her mouth dropped open when she realized what it was. Alec picked up his spoon and dipped it into the champagne, sliding the ring along the edge of the glass until it dropped into Rebecca’s waiting hand. She held it between her fingertips, staring at it for a long moment before she lifted her face and met his gaze.
As soon as he saw the look in her eyes, all thoughts of his perfectly rehearsed speech flew right out the window.
“Marry me?” he whispered.
Rebecca seemed equally incapable of speaking, so she responded with a nod. He wasn’t sure whose hands were shaking more as he gently slid the ring onto her fourth finger. Her mouth was still agape as she stretched out her hand and studied the way the diamond sparkled in the muted light.
“Say something, Bec.”
“It’s the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen,” she replied. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so surprised by anything.”
Alec wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I know you have a lot of plans for yourself. And I know there’s a lot you want to accomplish with your life. So we don’t have to get married right away. We can wait a while, if that’s what you want. I just wanted you to know that I’m not going anywhere. What I feel for you is never going to change. And I’m not going to rest until I’ve found a way to give you everything you’ve ever wanted.”
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