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Page 26

by Amy Elizabeth


  Rebecca was still conversing with her family when Alec reentered the room. “We should get going,” Allison said, giving Jeff a little nudge. “We need to pick Stacey up.”

  Jeff nodded in agreement. “Love you, sis,” he said, leaning over to kiss Rebecca’s cheek. “We’ll come see you tomorrow if you’re up for it.”

  Allison and Jeff each gave Alec a hug before they disappeared into the hallway. “The doctor said I can go home soon,” Rebecca said as he approached her bed. “They just want to run a few more tests.”

  “They always do,” Alec replied. “How are you feeling?”

  “Tired. And a little drugged.”

  At that, he managed a grin. Rebecca scooted over and he stretched out beside her, careful to avoid her injury. “Is Tommy gone?” she asked.

  He nodded and rested his head on her pillow. “He will be by the time we get back.”

  She cringed. “What are we going to do without him?”

  Truthfully, Alec had been wondering the same thing. “I’ll talk to Jake tonight. I’m sure he can run things in the barn for the time being. And as far as the business end…I did it on my own for years, so there’s no reason I can’t do it again.”

  “You have me now, don’t forget,” she said, laying her hand on his. “I’ll help you.”

  “I want you to get better first. Then we can talk about you helping me.”

  Rebecca conceded the point with a nod. “Are you going to start looking for a replacement? Or are you going to wait a little while?”

  Alec didn’t know how to respond to that. He scooted closer and rested his head against hers, and when she remained silent he knew they were thinking the same thing.

  They could go to the ends of the earth in their search, but they’d never find a replacement for Tommy.

  *

  Tommy stacked the final box in the bed of his truck and stood to stretch his back. He hadn’t dawdled while he emptied his cabin of all his worldly possessions, but he hadn’t exactly rushed through the task, either. While he wanted to be gone before Alec and Rebecca returned, he also wanted to delay his departure as long as possible.

  As hard as he tried, he still couldn’t comprehend the drastic turn his life had just taken. He couldn’t comprehend that he wasn’t getting married this afternoon. He couldn’t comprehend that he wasn’t sleeping in this cabin tonight or waking up to feed the horses in the morning. He’d agonized for weeks over the possibility of losing his home, his job, and his fiancée…and now that it had actually happened, his mind refused to accept it.

  He hopped from the bed of his truck and glanced over at the lodge. Rows of white chairs sat on the patio, ready for the ceremony that wasn’t going to happen. Rather than a soiree of activity and happy faces, the entire ranch was eerily quiet.

  He’d briefly seen Jake and Ben when he arrived back from the hospital, but they seemed to be at a loss for words. Then his mother, stepfather, and sister had shown up, eager to offer their support, but he simply gave each of them a hug and sent them on their way. He knew that he had several places to stay if he needed them, and he appreciated their offers more than he could express.

  The problem was that he wanted to stay right here.

  With a heavy sigh, Tommy walked into his cabin for the final time. There was no point in taking any of the furniture, since he had nowhere to put it. Besides, whoever Alec hired to replace him would probably need it. He stood for a long moment in the living room, waiting for some sort of revelation to strike.

  He’d always believed that everything happened for a reason, so there had to be a reason for all of this…

  Didn’t there?

  He glanced at the one box that remained, and a solid lump formed in his throat as he knelt to sift through its contents. Most of Liz’s things were still at her apartment, since they’d planned to move it over next week. But these were her items that were already here, and he knew he needed to return them.

  Outwardly it didn’t amount to much–a hair dryer, a pair of mucking boots, a few flannel shirts, and a white bathrobe. If Tommy could, he’d hold onto each of these things forever, because they were his only link to the life he almost had with her.

  Liz.

  As horrible as he felt about Rebecca’s accident, he knew that what he’d done to Liz was worse. Her accusation was correct–she had given him everything. And this was how he’d repaid her trust…by betraying her the night before their wedding.

  No, he’d never actually cheated on her. He’d never done anything with Rebecca that he couldn’t tell Liz or Alec about. But his heart was split between the two of them, and deep down he always knew that it was wrong.

  In the end, his divided heart had been his downfall.

  Tommy ran his hand over the delicate silk of Liz’s robe, trying not to envision the first time he saw her wearing it. Maybe no one would believe it after what happened last night. Maybe everyone would gossip about it long after his departure, wondering why he spent two years with Liz when he was secretly in love with Rebecca.

  At the end of the day, though, it didn’t matter what anyone else thought. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loved Liz. It wasn’t more or less or stronger or deeper than his love for Rebecca; it was simply different.

  He never thought he’d be the kind of man who was capable of loving two women at the same time. It wasn’t something he wanted; it was just the way things happened. But his greatest mistake was thinking that he could commit to one woman when he had so many unresolved feelings for another.

  Well, he’d learned his lesson now.

  And unfortunately he’d learned it the hard way.

  Tommy stood and scooped up the box, exiting the cabin without looking back. He set the box in his passenger’s seat and glanced at his watch, cringing when he saw the time. If he wanted to leave Jackson before dark, he couldn’t delay his departure any longer.

  Joaquin’s handsome head appeared over the top of his stall door as Tommy entered the aisle. Dozens of other faces greeted him, too, but Tommy couldn’t bear to look at them. If he stopped to say goodbye to each of the horses, he’d never leave.

  “You know the only good part of all this?” Tommy said, smoothing his hand down the buckskin’s neck. “I’ve still got you.”

  Joaquin dropped his head into Tommy’s arms, waiting for Tommy to scratch him behind his ears. “We’re going to go on a little trip together. You ready for it?”

  The horse gave a loud snort and butted Tommy’s chest. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Me, neither.”

  *

  At four o’clock on the dot–the time he and Liz were supposed to be exchanging their vows–Tommy instead found himself pulling up to her apartment.

  There was no sign of her car or her family’s rental vehicles, and that was fine with him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see her; he just didn’t know what he would say.

  Tommy could hear Joaquin stomping in the trailer as he stepped onto the road. “Easy,” he said, reaching through the bars to stroke the gelding’s nose. “This won’t take long.”

  As soon as the horse was settled, Tommy retrieved the box from the passenger’s seat and started up the stairs. He stopped in front of apartment 2B and paused, trying to decide what to do. He still had a spare key on his keychain, but he wouldn’t feel comfortable entering her home now. It didn’t seem right to leave her things outside, either, but he didn’t see any other option. Finally he knelt and set the box beside the door, gazing at its contents one last time before he turned to go.

  He was almost to the staircase when he heard a door open behind him. “You weren’t even going to knock?”

  The sound of Liz’s voice stopped him in his tracks. He didn’t want to see her face right now–he didn’t want to see what he’d done to her–but he knew he didn’t have a choice.

  Besides, it would provide the closure they both needed.

  Tommy sucked in a silent breath and willed himself to turn around. Liz stood with her arms cross
ed over her chest, looking neither happy nor upset to see him. The dark circles under her eyes told him that she’d slept as poorly as he did last night, and he saw the same quiet acceptance on her face that he felt in his core.

  “I didn’t think you were home,” he said.

  “I had to park around the corner last night. All the spaces were full.”

  “Oh.” He fumbled for something else to say. “Is your family still here?”

  Liz nodded. “They went out to lunch. I didn’t feel up to going.”

  An awkward silence passed before Tommy gestured to the box. “I brought you your things.”

  “Thanks,” she said, casting a quick glance over her shoulder. “I’m sure I have some of your stuff, too–”

  “I’m not worried about it. You can do what you like with it.”

  She gazed at him for a long moment before she stepped forward. “Well, there is one thing you should have.”

  Tommy cringed before she even slid the ring off her finger. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he’d thought there might still be a chance for them. Maybe if they left Jackson right now–if they got far enough away from Rebecca and the Flying W–they could put this whole mess behind them and start over again.

  But as soon as she dropped the ring into his palm, he knew it was a fool’s hope.

  Still, as she withdrew her hand, he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to grasp it. He felt her stiffen under his touch, but she didn’t pull away. It took every ounce of courage he possessed to lift his face and look her in the eye.

  “I need you to know something,” he said softly. “I need you to know that I have meant every word I’ve ever said to you. The day I told you that I was in love with you, I meant it. And everything I said the day I gave you this ring…it was true. So I don’t ever want you to think that what happened between us wasn’t real. Because it was.”

  Her expression didn’t change. “But it wasn’t real enough, was it?”

  Tommy flinched, once again feeling the hot sting of tears behind his lashes. He hadn’t cried in twenty years, though, so he sure as hell wasn’t going to cry twice in the same day. Abruptly he released her hand and spun on his heel, galloping down the stairs without looking back.

  When he reached the bottom step, though, realization suddenly struck him–the realization he’d been waiting for all day. He stopped in his tracks and turned around, glancing up to where Liz stood watching him.

  “I just figured out why all of this happened.”

  She frowned. “Why?”

  “Because a woman like you deserves so much more than I’d ever be able to give you.”

  Her chin dropped, but Tommy didn’t wait for her response. Instead he marched to his truck, climbed into the cab, and slammed the door behind him. When he dared a glance in the rearview mirror, he saw that Liz still hadn’t moved.

  For a brief moment, he envisioned her running after him and shouting for him to wait. He imagined her telling him that she forgave him and that she wanted to give them another chance.

  But it didn’t happen. She stood there for a solid ten seconds before she finally scooped up the box and disappeared inside her apartment.

  Fair enough, he decided as he pulled his truck onto the main street. He paused for a while at the stop sign, listening to Joaquin dance in the trailer behind him. All of a sudden he was sixteen again, cast out into the world with nowhere to go and nothing to do when he got there. The difference now was that he was twenty-eight and he was no longer ignorant of the way the world worked.

  Now he knew exactly what he had…and exactly what he’d lost.

  A horn honked behind him, but he still didn’t know which way to turn. He started to glance in the rearview mirror, but he stopped himself just in time. He already knew what Jackson looked like. He would always know what it looked like. The image of the mountains, the river, and the wide-open plains would forever be engraved in his heart.

  And for a long time–maybe even the rest of his life–he knew that his heart would remain here.

  Chapter 39

  The sun was setting behind the slanted peaks of the Tetons as Alec pulled his truck into the driveway. Rebecca sat in the passenger’s seat, bracing her injured shoulder against the bumps in the road. Alec knew all too well what that pain felt like, and he wished more than anything that he could take it away from her.

  Rebecca had been silent during the journey home, but as they pulled through the parking lot she gave a quiet sigh. “It would have been a beautiful wedding.”

  Alec followed her gaze to the patio. “Yeah. It would’ve been.”

  He noticed a collection of unfamiliar vehicles behind the lodge, telling him that his summer staff had arrived. He couldn’t fathom the thought of forty guests showing up tomorrow for the first week of the season, but it was going to happen whether he was ready or not.

  How had everything changed so quickly? Yesterday they were fully staffed and ready for the summer. Now, with Tommy gone and Rebecca injured, he’d just lost the two brightest stars of his team.

  Business, though, would have to wait. At the moment, he had something else to focus on that was far more important.

  Alec parked his truck and went to the passenger’s side to open her door. Rebecca winced as she swung her legs from the truck and he gradually helped her to the ground. She had yet to complain, but he could tell from the pallor of her skin that the pain was worse than she was admitting.

  He knew exactly what that was like, too.

  “Take your time,” he said, securing his arm around her as they made their way toward the farmhouse.

  Rebecca leaned into him for support as they climbed the staircase and entered their bedroom. Her collection of dresses lay scattered across the bed, producing an excruciating image of him kneeling in the mud that morning, certain that she was gone.

  “What is it?” she asked.

  He turned to study her eyes, reminded again of just how close he’d come to losing her. “Nothing,” he said, planting a tender kiss on her forehead. “Are you hungry?”

  “Not really. I feel so dirty, though. I’d like to get cleaned up.”

  He nodded in understanding. “I’ll be right back.”

  Alec had gone through a similar routine countless times with his father, and the old habits came right back to him. He started the water running in the tub and made sure it was the correct temperature before he led Rebecca into the bathroom and ever so carefully helped her undress. Moments later she was lying in the tub, resting her head against the tile wall.

  “Better?” he asked.

  “Much.”

  He settled beside the tub and reached for a washcloth, lathering it with soap before he smoothed it down her arm. She closed her eyes and gave a little sigh as he gently scrubbed the dirt and dried blood, rinsing away the last of the accident from her skin. Alec took his time with the task, careful to avoid the bandages on her chest. He wished he could simply wash those injuries away, too, to spare her the pain of the recovery process.

  “Sit up for a minute,” he said softly. “I’ll get your back, too.”

  Rebecca gave a sleepy smile as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “I just figured out why you’ve been so lost these past few months.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “You haven’t had anyone to take care of.”

  Alec swallowed hard, grateful that she couldn’t see his expression. “Well, don’t make a habit of getting hurt, alright? I hate seeing you like this.”

  He could hear the smile in her voice. “I don’t plan on it.”

  He smoothed the washcloth down her back, studying the scatter of freckles on her skin. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course.”

  He paused, grasping for the right words. “Have you ever regretted choosing me?”

  It was a question that weighed on him for weeks, ever since he found out how Tommy felt about her. The more he thought about it, the more it dawned on him that she coul
d have just as easily fallen for Tommy that first summer. In many ways, the two of them were better suited.

  And the simple truth of the matter was that Tommy had always been there for her…even when Alec hadn’t.

  Rebecca lifted her face to meet his gaze. “Never,” she whispered.

  Her response was exactly what he needed to hear. He smiled in thanks and resumed the task at hand, reaching next for the shampoo. He washed and rinsed her hair before he helped her stand and wrapped a towel around her shoulders. Her eyes were incredibly soft as he pulled her closer, and they shared a long, lingering kiss before she drew back.

  “You should go talk to Ryan and Jake,” she reminded him. “They need to know what’s going on.”

  It took Alec a moment to shift gears. “I know. I just wanted to take care of you first.”

  Soon she was in her pajamas and snuggled contentedly under the covers. Alec made sure she had enough pillows to support her injury before he rose to his feet.

  “I won’t be long,” he said, setting her cell phone in her lap. “Call me if you need anything.”

  Already her eyelids were drooping. “I will.”

  He stood beside her until he was certain that she was asleep; then he gathered his thoughts and headed down to the lodge.

  “Jake told me what happened,” Ryan said when Alec entered the kitchen. “How’s she doing?”

  “She’ll be out of commission for a while, but she’ll be alright.”

  “Good.” Ryan gave a dejected smile and motioned to the pile of steaks and salmon on the grill. “I had all of this food for the wedding tonight and I didn’t want it to go to waste. I figured I’d make a nice staff meal to kick off the season.”

  Alec grinned at the thoughtful gesture. “I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.”

  “Should I make a couple plates for you and Bec?”

  “That’d be great. Thanks, Ryan.”

  He continued into the staff lounge, where Ryan’s team of servers and housekeepers were awaiting dinner. Jake, Ben, Holly, and the two new wranglers, Meredith and Olivia, sat together at a round table in the corner, and they all looked up when Alec approached.

 

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