Knights of Light: Knight Vision

by Mark Moreland

At 6:45 the following morning, Ayana walks up to the O’Brien’s house only to find a yellow sticky note on the front door: “Back patio”. The gold granite gravel makes the familiar crunch, crunch, crunch sound under her sandals as she walks around the back, through the gate, and onto the back patio. With eyes barely open at this tender hour, Schuyler manages a slight smile, then invites her to have a seat while he finishes a quick breakfast. “I’m nervous about going… I mean hospitals give me the willies. It reminds me of when my grandfather died. This is grave punishment for my infraction.”

  Suddenly, the side gate slams shut. Crunch, crunch, crunch. Tate rounds the corner of the house and appears before them, grinning. “Ready to go?”

  Schuyler and Ayana look at each other, but say nothing. Minutes later, they are on the road. Ms. Askin cuts the odd silence. “At the Intensive Care Unit, you will encounter kids with grave conditions. Some have cancer, others have heart and respiratory problems. We also have burn victims, and even survivors of drowning. All they want to see is a friendly face and talk about something you kids normally talk about.

  Ayana’s left eye begins to twitch. Schuyler’s stomach tightens. Ayana begins to speak. “Boy, Ms. Askin, Schuyler’s really nervous to meet these kids today.”

  Schuyler shoots her a stink eye. “I figured that’s why you two are so subdued,” LaurAx answers. “No worries. You can follow Tate’s lead. That’s why the game center is so incredible. You can spark up a conversation about your favorite games. The kids love that. It takes their mind off their treatments and conditions.”

  “Aren’t they sad or scared?” Ayana asks.

  “Many are, but some are quite remarkable, no longer scared or depressed, but more accepting and peaceful. You have to see it to understand. One of the doctors calls these kids ‘children of the light.’”

  “Children of the light?” Schuyler says as he sits up. “What exactly does that mean?”

  “Schuy, before the day is through, I think you’ll be able to answer that for yourself,” Ms. Askin laughs.

  They sit back as the pick-up truck heads south on Piestewa Freeway, past rugged mountain peaks toward central Phoenix. Soon they arrive; it’s a quick elevator ride up to the seventh floor, followed by a series of doors, long hallways and nurse’s stations. The smell of hospital disinfectant overwhelms, and Schuyler’s stomach tightens again.

  They follow Tate through a large door with a sign above the window: ‘Activity Room.’ Ms. Askin stands in the doorway. “Why don’t you introduce yourselves to some of the kids while I check in?”

  Inside, they find the room split into various sections. There’s a small library, a toy corner, a small foam sport court, and an area for arts and crafts. Lastly, there’s the newly re-furnished game center with all the latest gaming platforms, complete with flat screens.

  Tate smiles at a young medical assistant, and sits down between two children who are busy drawing with crayons. “Are you guys still trying to teach Jill how to draw?” he asks. “She may be beyond hope you know.”

  “Thanks a lot Tate,” Jill responds smiling. “Who are your friends?”

  “I’m Ayana Brown, and this is Schuyler O’Brien.”

  “My friends call me Schuy.”

  “I see,” Jill responds. “It’s nice to see that Tate could actually rustle up some friends for this great event.” She winks at Tate. “The game center was donated by a retired pro quarterback. It’s awesome.”

  “Sky, what a cool name!” says a bald boy drawing a soccer picture at the table.

  “Yeah? You like it? What’s yours?” says Schuyler warming up.

  “I’m Eduardo, but my friends call me Eddie.”

  “Nice to meet you, Eddie,” says Ayana. Soon the three teenagers are interacting with the children about their hobbies, favorite subjects in school, movies, and books. They almost forget the kids are wearing hospital gowns, many with I.V. needles taped to their arms.

  “You guys seem pretty grown-up for your age,” Schuyler observes. “I’ve got cousins your age, but they’re goofballs.”

  “My mom says it’s because we’ve been through a lot,” Eddie replies. “Being really scared, and going through radiation treatments can do that to you. Or maybe it’s just my new haircut.”

  They begin to laugh once they see Eddie laughing. Schuyler then takes notice of one particular girl with long dark hair, drawing by herself at the far end of the long table. An incoherent thought pops into his mind. At first he tries to ignore it, but it comes on stronger. “Go with the flow,” he thinks to himself. “Hey, what’s that girl’s name?” he whispers in Eddie’s ear.

  “Monica,” Eddie whispers back as he cups his hand over his mouth trying to mirror the clandestine activity. Schuyler nods, then scotches on the bench toward her end of the table.

  “Hello Monica” he smiles at her. “I’m friends with LaurAx’s son – Tate over there,” he says pointing in Tate’s direction. She manages only a hint of a smile, as she very quickly resumes her drawing. “Are you excited about the new game center that was recently installed?”

  “No, it’s not my thing,” she answers plaintively sticking to her drawing.

  He hesitates. ‘Go on,’ he thinks to himself. “Hey Monica, you’re going to think this is kind of strange, but I think I’ve seen your face before. I can’t really place it, but I recall an aqua-blue background with a light shining in.”

  “Oh, you’re just seeing my light visit,” she replies matter of factly. “You know, other than my Nana, you’re the only other person who can see that.”

  “What do you mean by ‘light visit’?” Schuyler kneels down next to her. “Did you speak with any angels?”

  “I’m not sure if they were angels,” she answers. “I didn’t see any wings. But they were really nice people. Bright people, you know, light people. I saw them in the light tunnel just after I fell into the deep end of our swimming pool.”

  “Is that why you’re here?” Schuyler asks. “I mean, is that why you’re in the hospital?”

  “Hey, you’re the one who can see things,” she kids him. “You tell me.” She stops her drawing and looks right into Schuyler’s eyes. “Yeah, my parents were real scared and thought I’d drowned. I’m here because one of the doctors wants to see if my brain is destroyed. I don’t think it is. For me, it was like a bad dream, then a good dream, and then I was kind of out of it. Then, I woke up here.”

  Schuyler motions to Ayana and Tate to come join him. “Monica, do you mind if my friends join us? You see, I saw a light tunnel, and they are trying to learn about it.”

  “That’s fine,” says Monica, “if they don’t make fun of me or tell me that I dreamed it. It was real. LaurAx believes me.”

  “You were saying something about your Nana,” says Schuyler. “Has she been here to see you?”

  “No, my Nana died when I was five, but I still miss her,” she answers. “She was there in the light tunnel when I started floating through it. She was on this side,” Monica gestures toward her left. “She had some friends with her. They were all really nice to me. They were white and glowing. I was very happy and felt like… like I was from there.”

  “Did anybody speak to you?” Schuyler asks.

  “It wasn’t really words, but it was like they were telling me something. Somebody kept saying, ‘it’s not time, it’s not her time.’ Then the really bright person in the middle, I think the boss, told me I would go back to my mommy and daddy. I’m not finished yet, something like that.”

  “How did you feel about this?” Schuyler probes.

  “I was glad that I was going to see my mommy and daddy again, but I didn’t want to leave that place,” she says. “It was like I knew them all, even though I don’t ever remember being there before. Then, I started worrying about what needs to be finished.”

  “What happened next, Monica?” Schuyler goes on.

  “I don’t remember anything,” she answers. “I woke up in
the hospital. Mommy says they took me in an ambulance.”

  “Have you told anybody else about this?” asks Ayana.

  “I started to tell mommy, but she got upset, so I stopped,” Monica answers. You don’t think my brain got wrecked, do you?”

  “I think you had a very special experience and that you’ve been given a sneak peek at something that’s going to happen later,” he tells her. “It will be hard to share it with people who don’t understand, but other people will know what you mean.”

  “I do, I mean, other kids here have seen the light people,” she says. “Some kids talk to them in their dreams. This one kid, Leo. He’s going to the light place soon. He’s supposed to say good-bye to his family today, at least that’s what he told me.”

  The three teenagers look uneasy. Tate whispers under his breath. “Leo’s got late stage cancer.”

  Monica chats on, “Yeah, Leo’s got cancer. He told his mommy and daddy that it was okay because he’s been talking to his Grandma, and she told him to tell his daddy to let him go. Leo called his daddy the name his Grandma used to call him when he was a little boy. Leo’s daddy started crying.”

  “Monica, would you point out Leo to me?” Schuyler gently asks her. “Maybe I can speak with his family.”

  “Sure, like I said – he’s really ready to go. So if he does show up, he’ll be on a gurney.” she replies. “Hey, maybe you guys could talk to Billy.” She smiles.

  “Oh yeah, Billy!” Tate says. “Mom’s told me about him.”

  “Your mom’s really nice,” says Monica.

  “Thanks, she can be if she wants to be – like most parents,” Tate replies. “Billy’s quite the handful, I understand.”

  “Yeah, he’s the boy that broke his back, his arm, and his leg. He won’t be here at the party today. He has to hang over his bed face down. He’s in traction, so he can’t even move. One of the other kids said he rode his bike right onto the freeway. My friend Maria found out he saw light people, but they were mad at him. He doesn’t talk much.”

  “Monica, we’ll try to talk to Billy as well,” Schuyler assures her.

  “Good luck, you’re going to need it with that grouch,” she says getting back to her drawing.

  They slip out of the activity room to find LaurAx working at the Nurse’s station. “Listen, guys,” she answers. “Nice idea, but I don’t think you’ll have any luck, not with Billy. He’s totally messed-up, beyond almost anything I’ve seen. He’s been abused, never met his father, and his mother is a drug addict. I’m not supposed to tell you these things, but...”

  She looks around to see if anyone is listening. She continues: “He attempted suicide, but miraculously survived. He’s all broken up. Won’t talk to anybody. Lord knows I’ve tried.”

  “You’re probably right, Ms. Askin,” Schuyler says pensively. “But I wonder why Monica felt so strongly that we should speak with him. I feel we need to give it a try.”

  “Somehow, Schuy, I thought you might arrive at that,” she answers wistfully. “Billy’s room is the next one down this hall. I’ll make a short introduction for you, and then leave you alone to speak with him. He’s pretty angry, so you’ll have to let a lot of things slide. Don’t give up on your first attempt to get through.”

  LaurAx walks them into Billy’s room. Their eyes widen when they see all the equipment. Billy is hanging before them with his face floating above his bed. “Morning Billy! Brought my son Tate and a couple of his friends here today. Thought you might like to have a chat with them.”

  “Well I don’t,” Billy answers gruffly, “but I probably don’t have a choice, do I?”

  “You guessed it, Billy. Oh, and you can thank me later.” She turns to Tate. “I’ll be back for you guys when the dedication is ready to begin.”

  “Thanks, mom,” Tate replies as a lump forms in his throat. “Hey, Billy, this is Ayana and Schuy,” he manages as his voice inadvertently hits a higher octave.

  Billy remains silent, looking straight down at his bed. Ayana starts thinking about Billy’s injuries, the traction device, and all the medications administered through his IV. She notices how uncomfortable he is and how boring it must be to hang like that all day long. It is overwhelming, and the silence unsettles her.

  Tate grows physically more nervous, then locks up thinking about what question to ask. There is more nervous silence. Oddly, Billy seems to enjoy the growing, unsettling feeling in the room.

  In contrast, Schuyler is oddly calm. Billy’s silence does not unnerve him, but seems to aid his concentration. Schuyler stares off into the distance out the window, a peaceful smile grows on his face. He then moves in closer to Billy. “Look Billy, it’s easy to see you’re uncomfortable.”

  “Uncomfortable?” Billy answers slowly, deliberately emphasizing each syllable. “That doesn’t begin to cover it.”

  “Ok, you’re in pain,” Schuyler replies. “Deep, unbearable pain.”

  “Now we’re getting somewhere, but you’d have no idea,” he replies.

  “You may find this strange, but I sometimes get mental pictures about people... I’m picking up something, but it’s like there’s static. Something’s blocking. I sense pain, but also something very dark. Does this make any sense to you?”

  Billy darts his eyes over to Schuyler and then back down to the bed, but says nothing. Given present circumstances, small talk seems completely inappropriate, so Schuyler gets to it: “Does this confusion come from meeting light people?”

  Now Billy glares straight at Schuyler. “Who told you about that? That’s none of your damn business.” He turns his glare to Tate, “Did your mom put you up to this?”

  “Huh? What? No!” Tate quivers. “One of the other kids...” He pauses searching for a way out. “You see Billy, Schuy here had a similar confusing experience. We thought you two might help each other.”

  “Nice catch Askin,” Ayana quietly whispers as tears fill her eyes.

  Schuyler looks over at Tate for a brief moment. As Tate is about to continue, Schuyler holds up his right hand to stop him. “That’s right, Billy,” says Schuyler. “I spoke with light people, too.” He pulls up a doctor’s stool and begins to tell Billy all about his bike accident in the Sedona wash.

  “Sounds like we both need bike riding lessons,” Billy starts to laugh before the pain catches him. He coughs, then groans. “I’ve got broken ribs in addition to a broken back, so I’m not supposed to laugh.”

  “Right,” Schuyler says. “Got it.”

  Billy blinks. Now tears well up in Billy’s eyes. “So, they were real! I’m not crazy. In that one minute, I felt loved, for the first time. At first, I thought I was dreaming. Things haven’t gone well for me in my life.”

  “Yeah?” Schuyler answers carefully. “Did they, these light people, give you something to do?”

  “That’s what’s so confusing,” Billy continues. “They seemed like a real family to me. They loved me, but I was really upset I had hurt myself. Like I was throwing away a gift. You know, my mom has never even visited me. I kind of hoped she’d see something on TV. Then come and take care of me. I really don’t belong to anyone or anywhere.”

  “What else did they tell you?” Schuyler continues.

  “One of the light people reminded me part of my test is to make the most of what I have. I’m supposed to ask God to be with me, then do things together. Help others. Be useful instead of useless.”

  “Did they really say all that?” Schuyler asks.

  “No, I added the useless part,” Billy replies.

  “Was there anything else?” Schuyler asks.

  “Yeah, somebody told me they’d send some help – given my present circumstances. Then it was time to go, so I came back to the pavement, where I was bleeding. Wait! There was one other thing I almost forgot. That light place was home, and I’m going back someday. I’m supposed to keep that in mind – that’s what the guide told me. Next thing
I knew, I was lying on the pavement with blood everywhere. I hurt everywhere.”

  “Billy, it’s no accident that we’re meeting today,” Schuyler continues. “There are things we can do to help each other. My assignment’s a little different than yours, but it still involves helping other people, being useful like you said. If you don’t mind, I’d like for you to help us. I think we’re connected in this.”

  “I’d like that, Schuy, but as you can see I’m not much help right now.”

  “I understand,” Schuyler replies. “We’ll find a way. Right now you need to focus on making yourself better. Ask the light folks to be with you. Don’t be mad at them because you can’t see them. That invites the darkness. Ask them to give you more clues, so when you dream, you can better understand what you’re supposed to do. Nurse Askin knows this kind of medicine too. She can help. But you need to be nice to her.”

  “You’re right, Schuy,” he replies. “I’ve been horrible. I’m afraid and angry. But you seem to get me.”

  “Funny Billy, you get me too – which is saying something,” Schuyler reassures him and nods at Tate and Ayana. “There aren’t many people we can talk with about this stuff. People would think we’re crazy. I guess we have that in common. See you soon – I promise. Adios amigo.”

  By the time they get back to the Activities room, it is all a buzz with local dignitaries, hospital administrators, family members, and media personnel. Music blares from gaming console speakers, and a continental breakfast has been laid out along the far wall of the room. During one of the speeches, Schuyler leans over to LaurAx. “Is that Leo?” pointing in the direction of a boy on a gurney with an IV bottle hanging overhead. She nods affirmatively blinking her eyes as she does it.

  Despite the nerves, Schuyler gets up, and meanders his way across the room, to be in close proximity the moment the speech is finished. When the speaker finally finishes, he introduces himself to Leo amidst his family members. He is propped up on the gurney so he can take in the entire event. “Leo, all your friends here speak very highly of you. They think you are very brave. You’re giving them courage to speak about their visits with light people.” Leo can only manage a faint smile in reply. He leans into him and whispers: “I’ve met them too.”

  Then Schuyler stands up and speaks to Leo’s mother. “Please. Believe what he says: Everything’s really going to be all right – with him - you know.” His mother brings a tissue to her face. His father bows his head, and then nods as he puts a hand on Schuyler’s shoulder. Tate and Ayana watch in amazement from the other side of the room.

  They spend the next few hours playing in game tournaments, eating finger food and cake, and visiting with patients and family members. Tate assists his mother in cleaning up after the crowd has left, while Schuyler continues to play video games with two of the remaining boys. Ayana, for her part, sits back on a bean bag chairs trying to make sense of the day. Everyone moves at half speed. Her vast war chest of knowledge has been built based on research, books and technology, yet none of that is useful today. A deeper dynamic is involved, unseen forces are clearly at hand. Forces that must be approached properly - with an open mind, and perhaps more importantly, an open heart.

  Chapter 12: Lost Dutchman’s Mind

  Your work is to discover your work and then, with all your heart, to give yourself to it.

  -Buddha