Knights of Light: Knight Vision

by Mark Moreland

Sunday evening, Schuyler and Tate are back at Ayana’s house, where her parents can keep a closer eye on her. She spent Saturday night at the Northern Arizona Pediatric Medical Center in Flagstaff ‘under observation’. She was released to her parents that morning.

  “Do you really think the little girl was an angel?” Tate asks.

  “I don’t know,” Ayana answers. “There aren’t any angels in my religion, but she was some sort of spiritual messenger. I wasn’t taking her words on faith. I knew them to be true at the time. I can’t explain it any better than that.”

  “Great, now you’re sounding like Schuy,” says Tate sarcastically.

  “Doesn’t the Kabala acknowledge existence of angels?” Schuyler asks. “Maybe it was Rebekah’s angel, not yours.”

  “Oh, sure, it figures I’d bump into somebody else’s spirit guide,” she says.

  “Well, I for one am glad you experienced this,” Schuyler says. “Now you know what I’ve been going through.”

  “It’s weird,” she says. “Now, I’ve been wondering if there have been other spiritual messages in my life, but I’ve just been brushing them aside. It seemed like a subtle suggestion, but I was open to receiving the message.”

  “How did it go with the parents?” asks Tate.

  “They freaked,” she says. “My parents want me to take it easy. Something about being grounded, although they’re not sure what that means. I explained I was only trying to help a classmate. It’s funny though, apart from saving Rebekah’s life, I think I got the better part of it.”

  “That sounds a lot like a twelfth Step,” Schuyler replies. “Apparently, the helper gets more out of it than the person helped. That’s one reason my dad is big with the ‘program’.”

  “Oh yeah, we really got a crash course into the twelve step programs today over at the O’Brien’s house,” Tate says.

  Schuyler laughs. “Right, Tate was good enough to help me and my dad with the Christmas lights, and dad was grilling us with questions,” Schuler replies. “I had to come clean with the project.”

  “Did you tell him about Mr. Potts, and the guy that was following us?” she asks.

  “No, I didn’t divulge all the details, mainly my light experience and the scrolls we found,” he replies.

  “What did he say?” she asks. “Did he tell you to stop pursuing this?”

  “No, funny enough, he sort of encouraged me,” Schuyler replies.

  “Yeah,” Tate pipes up. “He said something like: ‘So that’s what’s gotten into you lately. Well it must be a good thing.’ ”

  “What else did he say?” she asks them.

  “Something about everyone needing to find their own North Star,” Schuyler replies. “He spoke of saints like Joan of Arc. Did you know she was about our age?”

  “She was also burned at the stake,” Ayana replies.

  “Good point,” Schuyler answers. “I certainly don’t want any of that.”

  “A twelve step pioneer had some weird light experience as well,” Tate offers. “Apparently, it was a catalyst in getting the whole program started.”

  “Bizarre,” she says pausing. “So where do we go from here?”

  “I’ve got this feeling that we need to do some more exploring up near Black Mountain. I’ve been thinking about the ending of the last scroll: ‘Just short of MCM by half a score, MGM contained what man was looking for. Yet the real treasure was undisturbed, concealed by man’s pursuit of ore.’”

  “I almost forgot about that part,” says Tate. “I wonder what that means.”

  “I have no idea, but most of the mining activity in this area occurred on Black Mountain. I really think the next clue is local, you know, just under our feet somewhere.”

  “Well, I probably can’t get a hall pass for a while, so you’ll have to count me out – as painful as that is to say,” she says. “The last thing my parent’s would want me to do is tool around the old mines with you two.”

  Tate starts laughing: “That only means we’ll have to wait for the right opportunity.”

  Three weeks go by, and Rebekah Benjamin finds herself remanded to a residential drug treatment center located near Carefree in the Sonoran Foothills. The thought never crossed her mind that it is somehow illegal to attempt suicide on federal property. Being a juvenile, and given the drugs found in her blood, she was remanded to treatment in lieu of any sentence or probation.

  Initially, she was surprised to see the number of young teens also struggling with drug addictions, but some inner strength gets her through detox. Since then, her days have been consumed by group therapy sessions, and working with counselors, mostly former addicts themselves. They work on issues like denial, fear, ego and self pity, by examining hope, choice, honesty, and spirituality.

  Sunday afternoons are open for general visitation. Ayana had written several letters to Rebekah, as no technology is allowed on grounds. Rebekah had responded, and the two made plans for a visit this particular Sunday, allowing Schuyler and Tate to tag along waiting outside in the courtyard. The girls now sit at a corner table in the cafeteria.

  “So, how are you feeling, Rebekah?”

  “Please, call me Becky. It reminds me more of my new self,” she answers.

  “I’m doing much better now, thanks to you. That first couple of weeks were hell, with all the vomiting, cold sweats, and leg cramps. I think my complexion’s looking better, don’t you?”

  “Yeah,” says Ayana. “You look much younger now, more like your own age.”

  “That stuff was really turning me into a hag,” Becky replies. “It’s amazing what sleep can do for you. Not to mention eating healthy, drinking lots of water, and taking vitamin supplements.”

  “How’s your family taking all this?” asks Ayana.

  “It’s been a struggle, frankly. Mom’s been in total denial. She wanted to hire some lawyers to get me out of here. Dad cried mostly, but insisted that I complete the program. They’ve since been seeing a family counselor to help deal with all this.”

  “Wow, you’ve made quite an impact,” Ayana says.

  “Yeah, little forgotten Rebekah,” she says as tears well up in her eyes. “I never would have thought any good could come from this, but it’s probably the best thing…” She pauses, and then composes herself. “You saved my life, thank you.”

  “It wasn’t me,” Ayana answers. “I mean I helped, but that little girl had more to do with it than I did.”

  “I wanted to talk to you about that,” she says.

  “Do you mind if we go for a walk outside?” Ayana asks. “I brought Schuyler and Tate along and they are good with this stuff. We’re on this strange journey together; it’s the real reason why I even listened to the little girl’s suggestion.”

  “I suppose,” she answers. “I’m getting a lot of practice sharing my deepest thoughts with complete strangers in my group therapy sessions. Besides, everyone’s eyes glaze over when I speak about that part of my experience.”

  They walk out to the courtyard and find Tate and Schuyler anxiously waiting there for them. “Hi Rebekah, good to see you again,” Schuyler says.

  “Hi Schuy, good to see you as well,” she says.

  “Becky, and you know Tate Askin, the other member of the squires,” Ayana says.

  “Yeah, I’ve seen you around school,” she says. “Nice to meet you. You can call me Becky as well.”

  “Becky, how’s the program going for you?” Schuyler starts in. “My dad’s a twelve stepper, so I’m learning something about them.”

  “You know, it’s strange, but I’m doing pretty well,” she says. “Others in my group here are really struggling. My counselor thinks it has to do with that spiritual experience we had out there on the ledge. So much of the program is geared around spirituality. All I know is that I try to talk to Samantha as much as possible.”

  “Who’s Samantha?” asks Ayana.

  “Well, you should know better than me, since you’re t
he only one who’s actually seen her,” Becky grins.

  They pause and look at each other. “How do you know her name?” Ayana asks.

  “It’s the strangest thing, really,” she answers. “I tried to make contact, you know, to thank her. There have been moments when I could sense a presence in my room. The name just popped into my head. I may have it all wrong, but she seems to answer to that name.”

  “What do your counselors say about that?” Tate asks.

  “We talk about everything, and I do mean everything, in therapy. They really drilled me about what made me change my mind out there on the rock. One counselor in particular, she’s a big believer in spirit guides and angels. She says if you sit back, relax, and get quiet, oftentimes thoughts will start washing over your mind. Chances are, if they come from a loving point of view, they’re from the guides. I’ve been practicing that with Samantha.”

  “We know something about this, don’t we guys?” says Ayana glancing at Schuyler.

  Tate then speaks up. “We had a similar experience speaking with one of the patients at my mom’s Children’s hospital. This boy, Billy. He calls them light people.”

  “I had my own experience as well,” offers Schuyler. “It was definitely a loving light form. Hard to describe.”

  “One thing that’s becoming apparent to me, either we’re all going crazy, or we’re on the right path,” Ayana says. “Sometimes, I’m not sure which.”

  “What else do you do here?” Schuyler continues ignoring Ayana.

  “We’re supposed to work on steps one through seven – the core inventory steps,” she says. “Some of it is guided, some is on our own. Writing reflections, reading, you know, that kind of thing. You guys really seem interested in this stuff.”

  “Becky, remember this project we’re working on?” Ayana asks. “It seems you, Samantha and these twelve steps are somehow connected with it.”

  “Maybe misery loves company,” she adds. “I’m really grabbing hold of the whole notion of HP – you know, higher power. Steps 1, 2, and 3 are all about: I can’t, HP can, and I’m gonna let it.”

  “That sounds a lot like listening to your higher self,” Ayana observes.

  “I suppose you’re right,” she answers. “There’s something about inner wisdom in the Serenity prayer: ‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.”

  “So, what are steps 4 and 5?” Ayana asks.

  “Step 4,” she exhales deeply. “That’s where a lot of writing comes in. You take inventory. You do a personal history of stuff. Resentments, things holding you back, fears, and things you’ve done wrong. I had to write out the times I took money from the restaurant to buy drugs. It’s a good thing we get to balance it out with good stuff as well.”

  “That’s probably a good exercise for all of us,” Ayana says. “We’ve all done stuff that we’re ashamed of, haven’t we Schuy?”

  “Ayana, once again, thank you for noticing,” Schuyler says.

  “Well, I appreciate you saying that,” replies Becky. “We can’t do this alone or feel we’re the only ones. My sponsor has been helping me with this, too. They don’t want us to get stuck in our own darkness.”

  “Hey, my dad sponsors too,” Schuyler says.

  “What’s a sponsor?” Tate asks.

  “A sponsor is somebody who has more time in recovery that has worked the steps,” she answers. “It really helps because they’ve been there, done that.”

  “Your attention, please!” a voice echoes over the loud speaker. “Visiting hours are almost over. Visitors, please make your way to the front entrance.”

  “I guess that means we’re done for today,” she says. “I’ll walk you guys up front.”

  As they head through the building toward the front door Schuyler asks: “Becky, when do you get to leave this place?”

  “Well, I just found out that they’re shutting down for the holidays on Tuesday,” she answers. “I won’t have my thirty days in yet, so they’re going to substitute ten days of outpatient care.”

  They reach the lobby area and begin to say their goodbyes. “Thanks for coming to see me, you guys,” she says. “You have no idea how…”

  Ayana gives her a hug and whispers in her ear: “You’re with us, we’re with you. Keep up the good work.”

  They pile into Schuy’s pickup truck, Ayana at the wheel. They reach Tate’s turn off near School House Road, and pause for a moment before Schuyler speaks. “Ayana, see if Becky can help out with the Christmas pageant next week on Black Mountain.”

  “Schuy, you know she’s not Christian,” Ayana says. “In fact, you’re the only one among us who’s really Christian. I’m not sure that’s going to fly.”

  “Please just do it,” he says. “I’ve got a strong sense that we’re very close to achieving the first Knight’s Quest. I have this idea.”

  Chapter 18: It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

  The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. - Joseph Campbell