Crux: A Sci-Fi Romance (The Jekh Saga Book 2)

by H. E. Trent

  “I suspect that if you’d known I was there, you wouldn’t be here right now.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  He ignored the question. “Where have you been?”

  “Same as you. Just riding out this hellacious storm. We don’t have storms like this on Earth, by the way. Ours tend to blow over within a couple of days.”

  “Yes, I’m certain that much here is very different from what you remember of Earth.” He slipped his other arm around her waist and twined his fingers together against her spine. Leaning in close so he could feel her satiny skin against his lips, he whispered, “I miss touching you.”

  At first, she was stiff as that mop handle she used as a weapon, but slowly, her body softened against his. Her shoulders relaxed down from her ears.

  You’re where you belong now.

  “Your phantom scent is in every room of this house and it has been driving me insane,” he said into her hair. “I want more than teases of your scent.”

  “I…”

  He didn’t want to hear her excuses. “Bathe with me?”

  “I…thought you already had a standing date for that.”

  He furrowed his brow and waited for the punch line for what he hoped was a joke, but none came. She just stared up at him, her lips pressed into a tense line and gray eyes cold.

  “Come on. Don’t do that,” she said. “You’re not dumb.”

  “Certainly, you don’t mean Esteben. Is that whom you’re referencing?”

  She shrugged. She might have been trying for cavalier, but instead, the movement was jerky and agitated. “You’ve been spending a lot of time together.”

  “I thought that was what you wanted.”

  “Esteben? With you? I never said that was what I wanted. I said that you need to be proactive about finding a mate, and if he’s it for you…” She shrugged again, even jerkier than before.

  That didn’t look like an “I don’t care” shrug to him, but an “I’m hurt” one.

  He hadn’t wanted to hurt her. Everything he’d done had been to make her happy.

  “Stars, woman.” He stepped away and smoothed his hair back contemplatively.

  Headron didn’t know if Esteben was “it” for him. Neither man had made overtures about anything permanent. They’d been spending the past several days simply getting used to being in each other’s company. Sometimes there was touching involved, but usually not. In Headron’s opinion, they certainly hadn’t done anything that counted as intimate.

  But again, he’d thought he’d been doing everything she wanted. He was at a loss.

  “Esteben is a possibility,” he said on a sigh. “I’m more surprised than anyone that he’s quite interesting.” And interested. The way Esteben watched Headron’s mouth when he talked made Headron feel as airy as sourdough bread.

  “Interesting. Yes, I guess that’d be one of the words I’d use to describe Esteben.”

  “What’s wrong, Erin? Why are you so sullen?”

  “I’m not sullen.” She pulled away from him. Washing her hands at the utility sink in the corner, she added, “I’m just tired. Keeping rain out of your face when you’re working takes a surprising amount of energy.”

  “I see.” He wouldn’t dare call her a liar, but he suspected she was becoming one.

  He tossed a cloth over some proofing loaves of bread and gestured toward the inner house. “Let us retire, then.”

  “What?”

  “I believe your room is unoccupied right now, and I could use a pick-me-up.”

  She knocked some of the water out of her short, wet curls, and then shrugged. Less jerky, more uncertain.

  He’d never seen her uncertain, and more than anything he wanted to take that anxiety away from her. He wanted his bold beauty back.

  “Only if you promise to behave,” she said.

  “You’ve never asked me to make that promise.”

  “I didn’t think I needed to before.” On that inscrutable note, she walked out of the kitchen.

  Headron turned down the heat in the big oven and followed her.

  No one paid them any attention as they trekked past the gathering room and into the hall, except Esteben. He’d looked up from the notes he’d been studying on the lower bench but, at Headron’s shake of his head, didn’t move.

  In the bedroom, Headron watched Erin pull off her woolen socks and hang them over the back of a chair. She shrugged out of her flannel shirt and discarded her jeans. Then she slid beneath the covers of her bed and closed her eyes.

  “God, that feels so good,” she whispered.

  “Did you finish?” He turned off the lights and then moved to the window to draw the shade. “Installing all the sensors, I mean.”

  “Yeah, actually. We finally finished. Owen is thrilled, obviously. Now he gets to tinker obsessively with the security software. He lives and breathes for that kind of stuff.”

  “I see.” Headron yanked off his tunic. The front was covered in flour, and the dirty garment made unsuitable garb for sharing a bed.

  “Yeah.” She rolled onto her belly and sighed. “Folks from nearby farms are already talking to him about installing similar systems at their places. He’s going to be busy in the next few weeks, but I think he’ll see an opportunity to make a little money. There’s not a huge cottage industry for tech stuff around here.”

  Headron pulled back the covers and slid into the bed at his usual spot near the door, but she really hadn’t given him much room. He knew her scheme, and he wasn’t going to let her get away with it. He bumped her with his crotch a few times to get her to shift toward the center.

  “I asked you to behave,” she muttered.

  “You left me no space.”

  “I didn’t really think you’d meant you’d nap, too.”

  “I rarely say things I don’t mean.”

  “I keep forgetting that about you.”

  He settled onto his side and propped his head up on his fist. Her head was turned toward the window, not him. Normally, she looked at him. She wasn’t a shy woman who’d avert her gaze, and he’d always loved that about her. Back in Buinet, so few people had ever looked at him like they really saw him. He was just the baker behind the counter—not a man worth considering.

  “Erin…” He drew amorphous shapes on her back and then up to the exposed skin of her neck.

  Her shoulder jerked upward, trapping his hand and preventing further exploration.

  I can’t touch her?

  He pulled his hand away. “Did I offend you somehow?”

  “No. Of course not.”

  “So, you’re not angry at me for spending time with Esteben, or any other thing?”

  “No.” She rolled over then, rubbing her eyes. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind, and I really haven’t felt like being around anyone.”

  He wasn’t just anyone. He was Headron, and she’d always made him feel like he mattered. He wasn’t going to let her rescind her kindness. “You’ll have to excuse me if I choose not to leave,” he said. “I won’t be so easily put off.”

  “I’m sorry for making you cling to me. That wasn’t fair of me.”

  “What do you mean? I seem to recall that was my choice. I saw an opportunity and took it.”

  “I was convenient, is all.”

  She has to be joking. Or worse, lying.

  “Certainly, that is not why you’ve been avoiding me,” he said.

  She didn’t respond.

  He nudged her with his knee. “Erin.”

  She sighed. “You should stick with your own kind, Headron. That’s the way you’re wired. That’s the way things need to be. I’m not going to take you away from some Jekhan woman who deserves a chance at having a family.”

  “Are you serious?” His body went rigid with anger. “Do you really think that is what should happen?”

  Headron wasn’t generally the sort to raise his voice, but he couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard such a ridiculous statement.r />
  “What?”

  “You believe that I choose to pursue you because of a lack of options? That I wanted your company simply because there are no Jekhan women around of the right age who’d have me?”

  “Well, I mean, no, but—”

  “That’s what you said. If that’s not what you meant, then please explain otherwise.”

  “Look, Headron. Your culture is in shambles. You should be doing everything you can to preserve it.”

  “What good is culture if I have no child at all? What good is culture if I’m dead?”

  When the door creaked inward, Headron glanced over his shoulder at the big man waiting in the doorway.

  Erin groaned and hid her head under a pillow.

  Still, he could hear her murmur, “Things keep getting better and better.”

  “You told me to stay away,” Esteben said, ostensibly to Erin. “I’ve never been good at following instructions when I didn’t think they were sensible. From where I was sitting, you were sounding quite troubled.”

  “You may as well come in,” Headron said. “Close the door. Apparently, Erin is having some sort of crisis of conscience.”

  “I am not having a crisis.” She knocked the pillow away, pushed up onto all fours, and pinned him with a nasty glare. “I’m being very reasonable. I don’t want to be that lady who comes to a new place and disregards what’s already there because the existing offerings don’t suit her own needs. Court and I used to talk so much shit about those kinds of people—people who were blind to the suffering of others, or who made the strife of victimized people some kind of tourist attraction.”

  “What the hell is she talking about?” Esteben asked.

  Headron shrugged. “Perhaps you understand now why I raised my voice.”

  “I’m making damn good sense, and you know it,” Erin said. “You need to work on getting your women back and rebuilding your culture.”

  Esteben rolled his eyes.

  “Don’t minimize what I’m saying. I’m being serious.”

  “Of course you are.” He walked around to the other side of the bed and got in without waiting for an invitation. That was Esteben in general, though. He took what was his and didn’t wait for anyone to tell him no. Headron appreciated that about him. While Headron would have always been waiting for the exact right time, Esteben was the sort of man who preferred to get things done.

  “Oh, God, go away,” Erin said to him.

  Esteben pressed a hand to the small of her back and pushed her down onto her belly. “Be quiet, woman. You’re hysterical. Perhaps your hormones are off-balance.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You’re not thinking clearly. The assumption is logical.”

  “I’m thinking damn fine, and have been thinking on my own for a lot of fucking years.”

  Esteben scoffed and hooked a thumb under the clasp of her bra. He unhooked it, and said, “Okay.”

  She reached back and tried to grab the strap ends, but Esteben was in a better position to do so. He held one end far enough out of her reach that if she tried to grab it, she’d end up exposed, no matter what she did.

  “Let go of my fucking bra.”

  He looked over her head at Headron. “Lock the door, please.”

  “Headron, stay,” Erin said.

  Normally, he would have done any reasonable thing Erin asked of him, but she wasn’t being reasonable. He got up and locked the door.

  He didn’t wish to minimize her concerns in the slightest bit, but he did think she was being silly. Even if there were suitable Jekhan women around, he would have still gravitated to her because she was so vivacious.

  Perhaps I haven’t done a good job of making her believe that.

  In his defense, he hadn’t thought he needed to.

  He reclaimed his former place in the bed in time to help Esteben relieve her of the bra they’d been battling over. One tickle to her waist did the trick. She was so busy trying to flick Headron’s hand away that she let go of the end of the bra she’d been holding.

  Esteben tossed the garment over the bedside. “Perhaps your stress level will diminish when you have fewer clothes to constrict your blood flow.”

  “Stop gaslighting me.”

  “I don’t know what that means,” Headron said.

  “Suffice it to say that she thinks we’re bullshitting her.” Esteben grabbed her wrists and pinned them to her sides. “She thinks we’re not hearing what she has to say. She thinks we’re trying to make her feel crazy for her concerns.”

  “I hear your concerns, Erin,” Headron said. “I never said they weren’t valid. I simply find they don’t suit me.”

  “That’s reckless. Do you understand that?” she asked.

  “Doing nothing at all is reckless. Everything on this planet, given the current climate, is reckless. You’ll have to excuse me for being unconcerned with preserving Jekhan purity, because in my estimation, we were never all that vital to begin with.”

  Erin had been staring intently at Headron as he was speaking, but she shifted her attention slowly to the man pinning her wrists. Esteben was skating his lips down her shoulder and kissing her arm, and tiny bumps appeared on her flesh in his wake.

  “Esteben…” Her voice had lost some of its edge. It was breathier. Anticipatory, even. She swallowed. “Behave.”

  “I am, by doing exactly what I need to do right now.”

  “What is it that you think you need to be doing?”

  “I’m not going to be content in another relationship that has all the right components but none of the passion,” he said.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “This is about you.” He pushed her shoulder, and she toppled back onto her pillow. He held her hands pinned over her head and gave Headron a searching look.

  That one’s easy enough to read.

  Headron took over holding her hands, and Erin looked at him as if he were a traitor who’d burned down her house and stolen her family photographs.

  She’ll get over it.

  Esteben cupped the undersides of her breasts and pushed the mounds up and together. “This is about the difference between what you think we should have and what we actually want.”

  “What do you want?” she asked.

  “Choice,” he said firmly, “just like anyone else, and to have my decisions respected and honored when they’re reasonable.”

  “And you’re choosing me? Is that what you’re saying?”

  Esteben didn’t answer because his mouth was already occupied. He had it on her breast and was working his jaw in a way indicative of a hard suck while kneading the other.

  “This…this won’t work, you know,” she said breathily. “You’re trying to...to distract me. Let me up. I have things to do.”

  “Mm-hmm.” He straightened up and slung his leg over her hips, straddling her.

  Headron let go of her, because she’d obviously given up the fight. She couldn’t move, being pinned as she was, and Esteben had as of that moment only given her pleasure.

  He pressed a hand at either side of her face and stared down at her. “You are exhausting, woman. Do you know that? But no worries. I think I’ve gotten you figured out.”

  “All the more reason you should get off me and get over me. Find some nice, passive Jekhan girl who won’t make you work so hard.” Her eyes were hooded. Lips parted. Cheeks flushed, and she was oh so still as Esteben slid his thumbs between her lips.

  “The typical Jekhan male’s expectation of his female is that she remain close only as much as she can tolerate,” Headron said, watching her wet the pads of Esteben’s digits. “That’s a low bar, is it not?”

  He ran his own fingertips along her jaw, pausing at a small divot near her chin that looked to have come from some sort of gash. “Who hurt you?”

  “Hmm?” she responded on something of a delay, though he could understand why.

  Esteben had moved his hands down to her breasts, and was squeezing them fir
mly, his wet thumbs gliding over her plump brown nipples.

  “This scar here.”

  “No one hurt me,” she said dreamily, her body squirming a bit under Esteben’s continued touch. “Boston is a little rough sometimes, especially for people named McGarry, but the scar was from an accident. I was riding in the back of an ambulance with a biker we were hurrying to the hospital, and a pickup truck T-boned us at an intersection.”

  “And you survived that?” Esteben grabbed her wrists again as if he thought she were some sort of superhuman he’d mistakenly underestimated.

  Her head fell to the side, and her eyes opened. “Our ambulances aren’t like the compact, lightweight things in Buinet. They’re big and boxy, and I happened to be on the side farthest from impact. Trust me—the guy on the stretcher got banged up way more than I did. I was cleared to go back to work the next day.”

  “Ridiculous.”

  She shrugged and closed her eyes again. “Had to go to work or I’d get written up. Since they’d cleared me, it wasn’t like I could file a worker’s comp claim. I was stiff as hell for a few weeks and had a lot of headaches, but you do what you’ve got to do.”

  “Why did you choose that job?” Headron asked. He’d never asked before simply because there had been so many other things to ask. There were still so many things he wanted to ask, but he was so rarely able to catch her being still enough for a conversation.

  “Because I couldn’t afford med school, and I doubt anyone would have let me in, anyway.”

  “You’re not living up to your potential.”

  “Look who’s talking. What would your potential be if people like me weren’t on this planet right now?”

  Esteben gave her wrists a squeeze with one hand and dragged his other palm down between her breasts. “Enough. We’re going around and around in circles on this topic, and I refuse to discuss it anymore.”

  “You don’t get to decide.” Perhaps her words were pointed, but her tone was half-hearted. “If I choose to back away, you have to let me. I don’t know if consent is a big deal here, but I demand it.”

  Esteben cocked his chin toward a pillow at the far right, top corner of the bed. “Put that under her head along with the other, please.”

  Headron did what he asked and ignored Erin’s withering glare.