Real Boys

by William Pollack

  Pollack, W. S. (1995). “No Man Is an Island: Toward a New Psychoanalytic Psychology of Men.” In R. Levant, and W. S. Pollack (eds.), A New Psychology of Men, (pp. 33–67). New York: Basic Books.

  ——— (1995). “Deconstructing Dis-identification: Rethinking Psychoanalytic Concepts of Male Development.” Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy, 12(1), 30–45.

  USA Today Poll. (1997). “Children’s time spent with family.” USA Today.

  CHAPTER 3

  Blum, D. (1996). Boys May Be More Emotionally Fragile. Sacramento Bee, June 10.

  ——— (1997). Sex on the Brain. New York: Viking.

  Fausto-Sterling, A. (1992). Myths of Gender. New York: Basic Books.

  Halpem, D. F. (1997). Sex Differences in Intelligence: Implications for Education. American Psychologist, 52(10), 1091–1102.

  Kimura, D. (1992). Sex Differences in the Brain. Scientific American, September, 119–25.

  Pleck, J. (1981). The Myth of Masculinity. Cambridge, Mass.: MIT Press.

  Pollack, W. S. (1995). “Reframing Masculinity: Men, Empathy, and Empathy for Men.” Paper presented at the Cambridge Symposium, Cambridge, Mass. Winter.

  ——— (1995). “Men’s Erotic Desires: Love, Lust, Trauma, Sex, Biology, and Psychoanalysis.” Paper presented at the 103rd annual convention of the American Psychological Association, New York, August.

  CHAPTER 4

  Gilligan, C. (1982). In a Different Voice. Cambridge: Harvard University Press.

  Jacklin, C. N. (1989). Female and Male: Issues of Gender. American Psychologist, 44, 127–33.

  Maccoby, E. (1990). Gender and Relationships: A Developmental Account. American Psychologist, 45, 513–20.

  ———, and Jacklin, G. N. (1974). The Psychology of Sex Differences. Stanford: Stanford University Press. and Jacklin, G. N. (1980). Sex Differences in Aggression: A Rejoinder and Reprise. Child Development, 51, 964–80.

  Pollack, W. S. (1996). “Becoming Whole and Good: A New Psychology of Men.” International Coalition/Boys’ Schools Symposium, June.

  ——— (1996). “Boys’ Voices: Can We Listen, Can We Respond? Toward an Empathic Empirical Agenda.” International Coalition/Boys’ Schools Symposium, June.

  PART TWO. CONNECTING TO BOYS

  CHAPTER 5

  Barnett, R. C., and Marshall, N. (1991). “Physical Symptoms and the Interplay of Work and Family Roles.” Health Psychology, 10, 94–101.

  ———, Marshall, N. L., and Pleck, J. H. (1992). “Men’s Multiple Roles and Their Relationship to Men’s Psychological Distress.” Journal of Marriage and the Family, 54, 358–67.

  ———, and Rivers, C. (1996). She Works, He Works. New York: HarperCollins.

  Betcher, R. W., and Pollack, W. S. (1993). In a Time of Fallen Heroes: The ReCreation of Masculinity. New York: Atheneum.

  Grossman, F., and Pollack, W. (1984). “Good Enough Fathering.” Paper presented at the annual meeting of the National Council on Family Relations, San Francisco, October.

  ———, Pollack, W. S., Golding, E. R., and Fedele, N. M. (1987). “Autonomy and Affiliation in the Transition to Parenthood.” Family Relations, 36, 263–69.

  Herzog, J. (1982). “On Father Hunger: The Father’s Role in the Modulation of Aggressive Drive and Fantasy.” In S. Cath, A. Gurwitt, and J. Ross (eds.), Father and Child (pp. 163–74). Boston: Little, Brown.

  Jordan, J. V., Kaplan, A. G., Baker Miller, J., Stiver, I. P., and Surrey, J. L. (1991). Women’s Growth in Connection. New York: Guilford Press.

  Miller, J. B., and Stiver, I. P. (1997). The Healing Connection. Boston: Beacon Press.

  Pollack, W. S. (1995). Deconstructing Disidentification: Rethinking Psychoanalytic Concepts of Male Development. Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy, 12(1), 30–45.

  ———, and Jordan, J. V. (1997). “Breaking The Rules’ for Men and Women: Generating Genuine Empathy.” Paper presented at the Symposium: “Breaking The Rules’—New Models of Male-Female Relationships” at the 105th annual convention of the American Psychological Association, Chicago.

  Weingarten, K. (1994). The Mother’s Voice: Strengthening Intimacy in Families. New York: Harcourt and Brace.

  CHAPTER 6

  Adler, J. (1996). “Building a Better Dad.” Newsweek, June 17, 58–64.

  Barnett, R. C., and Marshall, N. (1991). “Physical Symptoms and the Interplay of Work and Family Roles.” Health Psychology, 10, 94–101.

  ———, Marshall, N. L., and Pleck, J. H. (1992). “Men’s Multiple Roles and Their Relationship to Men’s Psychological Distress.” Journal of Marriage and the Family, 54, 358–67.

  ———, and Rivers, C. (1996). She Works, He Works. New York: Harper-Collins.

  Bernadett-Shapiro, S., Ehrensaft, D., and Shapiro, J. L. (1996). “Father Participation in Childcare and the Development of Empathy in Sons: An Empirical Study.” Family Therapy, 23(2), 77–93.

  Betcher, R. W., and Pollack, W. S. (1993). In a Time of Fallen Heroes: The ReCreation of Masculinity. New York: Atheneum.

  Blankenhorn, D. (1995). Fatherless America. New York: Basic Books.

  Brody, L. R. (1996). “Gender, Emotional Expression and the Family.” In R. Kavanaugh, B. Zimmerberg-Glick, and S. Fein (eds.), Emotion: Interdisciplinary Perspectives. Hillsdale, N.J.: Lawrence Erlbaum.

  Buck, R. (1977). “Non-verbal Communication of Affect in Pre-school Children: Relationships with Personality and Skin Conductance.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 35, 225–36.

  Cath, S., Gurwitt, A., and Ross, J. (eds) (1982). Father and Child. Boston: Little, Brown.

  D’Angelo, L. L., Weinberger, D. A., and Feldman, S. S. (1995). “Like Father, Like Son? Predicting Male-Adolescents’ Adjustment from Parents’ Distress and Self-restraint.” Developmental Psychology, 31(6), 883–96.

  DeLuccie, M. F. (1995). “Mothers as Gatekeepers: A Model of Maternal Mediators of Father Involvement.” Journal of Genetic Psychology, 156(1), 115–31.

  Dorsey, S. A. (1995). “Father Figures.” Boston Globe. June 19, 21.

  Elias, M. (1996). Teens Do Better When Dads Are More Involved. USA Today, August 22, Dl.

  Fox, E. (ed.) (1993). The Five Books of Moses. New York: Schocken Books.

  Grossman, F., and Pollack, W. (1984, October). Good Enough Fathering. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the National Council on Family Relations, San Francisco.

  ———, and Golding, E. (1988). “Fathers and Children: Predicting the Quality and Quantity of Fathering.” Developmental Psychology, 24, 82–91.

  ———, and Fedele, N. M. (1987). “Autonomy and Affiliation in the Transition to Parenthood.” Family Relations, 36, 263–69.

  Herzog, J. (1982). “On Father Hunger: The Father’s Role in the Modulation of Aggressive Drive and Fantasy.” In S. Cath, A. Gurwitt, and J. Ross (eds.), Father and Child (pp. 163–74). Boston: Little, Brown.

  Homer (1963). The Odyssey. Trans, by Robert Fitzgerald. New York: Anchor.

  Jain, A., Belsky, J., and Crnic, K. (1996). “Beyond Fathering Behaviors: Types of Dads.” Journal of Family Psychology, 10(4), 431–42.

  Lamb, M. (1975). “Fathers: Forgotten Contributors to Child Development.” Human Development, 18, 245–66.

  ——— (1977). “The Development of Parental Preferences in the First Two Years of Life.” Sex Roles, 3, 475–97.

  ——— (1981). The Role of the Father in Child Development. New York: Wiley.

  ———, and Oppenheim, D. (1989). Fatherhood and Father-Child Relationships. In S. Cath, A. Gurwitt, and L. Gunsberg (eds.), Fathers and Their Families (pp. 11–16). Hillsdale, N.J.: Analytic Press.

  Levant, R. F. (1992). “Toward the Reconstruction of Masculinity.” Journal of Family Psychology, 5, 379–402.

  McGaw, J. (1997). “Doing It Their Way.” The Boston Parents’ Paper, June, 28–31.

  Negri, G. (1995). “When Dad’s in the Lunch Bunch.” Boston Globe, March 31, 33.

  Osherson, S. (1986). Finding Our Fathers: The Unfinished Business of
Manhood. New York: Free Press.

  Pollack, W. S. (1991). “Managers as Fathers.” The Levison Letter.

  ——— (1995). “A Delicate Balance: Fatherhood and Psychological Transformation—A Psychoanalytic Perspective. In J. L. Shapiro, M. J. Diamond, and M. Greenberg (eds.), Becoming a Father: Social, Emotional and Clinical Perspectives. New York: Springer.

  ———, and Grossman, F. K. (1985). “Parent-Child Interaction.” In L. L’Labate (ed.), The Handbook of Family Psychology and Therapy (pp. 586–622). Homewood, 111.: Dorsey.

  Pruett, K. D. (1987). The Nurturing Father. New York: Warner Books.

  ——— (1989). “The Nurturing Male: A Longitudinal Study of Primary Nurturing Fathers.” In S. H. Cath, A. Gurwitt, and L. Gunsberg (eds.), Fathers and Their Families (pp. 389–405). Hillsdale, N.J.: Analytic Press.

  Roberts, P., and Mosley, B. (1996). “Fathers’ Time.” Psychology Today, May/June, 48–55.

  Segell, M. (1995). “The Pater Principle.” Esquire, March, 121–27.

  Shapiro, J. L., Diamond, M. J., and Greenberg, M. (eds.) (1995). Becoming a Father: Social, Emotional, and Clinical Perspectives. New York: Springer.

  Shellenbarger, S. (1996). Work and Family: High-powered Fathers Savor Their Decisions to Scale Back Careers. The Wall Street Journal, June 12.

  Snarey, J. (1993). How Fathers Care for the Next Generation: A Four-decade Study. Cambridge: Harvard University Press.

  CHAPTER 7

  Coopersmith, S. (1981). Self-Esteem Inventories (School Form). Palo Alto, Calif.: Consulting Psychologist Press.

  DeAngelis, T. (1996). “Young Girls Engage in Some Sexually Inappropriate Behavior as Often as Boys.” APA Monitor, October. American Psychological Association.

  Elias, M. (1997). “Family Dinners Nourish Ties with Teenagers.” The Wall Street Journal, August 15.

  Erikson, E. (1959). “Identity and the Life Cycle.” Psychological Issues, 1. New York: International Universities Press.

  ——— (1963). Childhood and Society. New York: W.W. Norton.

  Feldman, S. S., and Wentzel, K. R. (1995). “Relations of Marital Satisfaction to Peer Outcomes in Adolescent Boys: A Longitudinal Study.” Journal of Early Adolescence, 15(2), 220–37.

  Gant, L. M., et al. (1994). “Increasing Responsible Sexual Behavior among High-risk African-American Adolescent Males: Results of a Brief, Intensive Intervention.” Journal of Multicultural Social Work, 3(3), 49–58.

  Guttmacher Institute. (1994). Sex and American Teenagers. Alan Guttmacher Institute: New York.

  ——— (1996). Readings on Men. New York: Alan Guttmacher Institute.

  ——— (1997). Facts in Brief: Teen Sex and Pregnancy. New York: Alan Guttmacher Institute.

  Hales, D. (1996). “How Teenagers See Things.” Parade Magazine, August 18.

  Jordan, J. (1987). “Clarity in Connection: Empathic Knowing, Desire and Sexuality.” (Stone Center Working Paper Series, Work in Progress No. 29). Wellesley, Mass.: Wellesley College, Stone Center.

  King, L. A., and King, D. W. (1993). Sex-Role Egalitarianism Scale (SRES). Port Huron, Mich.: Sigma Assessment Systems.

  Kutner, L. (1993). “Heroes Offer Ways to Explore Feelings and Situations.” The New York Times, December 23.

  Lewin, T. (1997). “Teenagers Alter Sexual Practices, Thinking Risks Will Be Avoided.” The New York Times, April 5.

  Madaras, L., and Madaras, A. (1995). My Body, My Self for Boys. New York: Newmarket Press.

  Manning, A. (1997). “Teens Starting Substance Abuse at Younger Ages.” USA Today, August 14, 8D.

  Murray, B. (1996). “Debates Over Sex Education May Put Teen Health at Risk.” APA Monitor, November. American Psychological Association.

  Nottelmann, E. D. (1987). “Competence and Self-Esteem during Transition from Childhood to Adolescence.” Developmental Psychology, 23(3), 441–50.

  Pleck, J. H., Sonenstein, F. L., and Ku, L. C. (1993). “Masculinity Ideology: Its Impact on Adolescent Males’ Heterosexual Relationships.” Journal of Social Issues, 49(3), 11–29.

  ——— (1994). “Social-Psychological Influences on Condom Use.” (Center for Research on Women Working Papers Series, Work in Progress No. 273). Wellesley, Mass.: Wellesley College.

  Pollak, S., and Gilligan, C. (1982). “Images of Violence in Thematic Apperception Test Stories.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 42(1), 159–67.

  Resnick, M. D., Bearman, P. S., Blum, R. W., et al. (1997). “Protecting Adolescents from Harm: Findings from the National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health,” Journal of the American Medical Association, 278(10), 823–32.

  Shapiro, L. (1997). “The Myth of Quality Time.” News week, May 12, pp. 62–69.

  Steinhauer, J. (1995). “At a Clinic, Young Men Talk of Sex.” The New York Times, September 6.

  CHAPTER 8

  Bednall, J. (1996). Bilinguality of Gender in Single Sex Schools for Boys. Huntington Valley, Ohio: University School Press.

  Gilligan, C. (1982). In a Different Voice. Cambridge: Harvard University Press.

  Jones, D. C., and Costin, S. E. (1995). “Friendship’s Quality During Preadolescence and Adolescence: The Contributions of Relationships Orientations, Instrumentality, and Expressivity.” Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 41(4), 517–535.

  Levant, R. F. (1992). “Toward the Reconstruction of Masculinity.” Journal of Family Psychology, 5, 379–402.

  Lever, J. H. (1976). “Sex Differences in the Games Children Play.” Social Work, 23, 78–87.

  Maccoby, E. (1990). “Gender and Relationships: A Developmental Account.” American Psychologist, 45, 513–20.

  ———, and Jacklin, G. N. (1974). The Psychology of Sex Differences. Stanford: Stanford University Press.

  ——— (1980). “Sex Differences in Aggression: A Rejoinder and Reprise.” Child Development, 51, 964–80.

  Mclntosh, H. (1996). “Research on Teenage Friendships Dispels Old Myths.” APA Monitor, June. American Psychological Association. Washington, D.C.

  ——— (1996). “Adolescent Friends Not Always a Bad Influence.” APA Monitor, June. American Psychological Association. Washington, D.C.

  Pollack, W. S. (1995). “No Man Is an Island: Toward a New Psychoanalytic Psychology of Men.” In R. Levant and W. S. Pollack (eds.), A New Psychology of Men, (pp. 33–67). New York: Basic Books.

  ———, and Jordan, J. V. (1997). “Breaking The Rules’ for Men and Women: Generating Genuine Empathy.” Paper presented at the Symposium “Breaking The Rules’—New Models of Male-Female Relationships” at the 105th Annual Convention of the American Psychological Association, Chicago, 111.

  Swain, S. (1989). “Covert Intimacy: Closeness in Men’s Friendships.” In B. J. Risman and P. Schwartz (eds.), Gender in Intimate Relationships: A Micro-structural Approach (pp. 70–93). Belmont, Calif.: Wadsworth Publishing.

  Tannen, D. (1990). You Just Don’t Understand. New York: William Morrow.

  Thome, A., and Michaelieu, Q. (1996). “Situating Adolescent Gender and Self-esteem.” Child Development, 67, 1374–90.

  Zachary, G. P. (1997). “Male Order: Boys Used to Be Boys, But Do Some Now See Boyhood as a Malady?” The Wall Street Journal, May 2, Al.

  CHAPTER 9

  American Psychiatric Association (1994). The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV. Washington, D.C.: American Psychiatric Association.

  Center for Disease Control and Prevention (1997). Statistics on AIDS. Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

  The Committee on Adolescence (1993). “Homosexuality and Adolescence.” Pediatrics, 92(4), 631–34.

  Friedman, C., and Downey, J. (1993). “Psychoanalysis, Psychobiology, and Homosexuality.” Journal of American Psychoanalytic Association, 41(4), 1159–98.

  ———, and Downey, J. (1994). “Homosexuality.” The New England Journal of Medicine, 331(14), 923–30.

  Gray, S. (1997). “Not Content with the Closet.” Boston Globe, August 23, Bl.

  Isay, R. A. (1989
). Being Homosexual: Gay Men and Their Development. New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux.

  Kallman, F. J. (1953). Heredity in Health and Mental Disorder: Principles of Psychiatric Genetics in the Light of Comparative Twin Studies. New York: Norton.

  Schwartzberg, S., and Rosenberg, L. G. (in press). “Treating Gay and Bisexual Men.” In W. S. Pollack and R. L. Levant (eds.), New Psychotherapy for Men. New York: Wiley.